I’m Feeling Arty Farty

Channeling My Inner Shakespeare, Michael Angello, and da Vinci


Geez, I’m glad my old guy friends from high school and college can’t see me now, else they’d give me a load of crap for the way I’m spending most of my time these days.

I’d might just have to put on a flannel shirt, go get in an old pickup truck, drive out to the woods, and shoot at something…AFTER having a couple of chili dogs with extra onions for lunch with a can of warm Budweiser beer.

Looking back over the past few days, my life barely resembles the way I spent my time twenty years ago, or even ten years ago. Of course my recent crappy health has dictated me taking up writing and other less-physical avocations other than standing on my feet 12 hours a day like I did back when the industrial construction business occupied most of my professional time.

Friday night we went to a “world music” concert at Brunswick’s historic Ritz Theater. The show featured a group called Dromedary—two well traveled guys from Athens, Georgia—that play a bunch of different styles of music from all over the world.

No vocals, just stringed instruments like the Peruvian Charango, a small 10 stringed guitar type instrument traditionally made using the shell of an armadillo for the body. In addition to the Spanish Guitar, they also played the Turkish Cumbus, the Appalachian Dulcimer, and the Mandolin.

Andrew’s and Rob’s music was exceptional, and I was disappointed that there was only about a half-house crowd of people that had the sense to try out something a little different in the way of entertainment.

I half expected someone to yell out “DO FREEBIRD” midway through the show because we live in the midst of a population of people that primarily eat food that you can put catsup on—why should their music be any different?

Any whooooo, they had a reception afterward at a bookstore across the street from the theater and we had the opportunity to meet the artists, buy a CD, and get their autograph.

On other fronts, I’ve previously mentioned that I have to get a 16”x20” print made of one of my photographs to be shown in February and March in the Coastal Heritage Art Exhibit. I’ve been procrastinating on the final frame selection for my entrée, and I have to submit my biography by this week for inclusion in the Exhibit program.

Since this is my first ever art show, I’m having trouble making my bio longer than 20 words. Right now it looks something like this:

“Virgil has been alive since 1959 and likes to use his camera when he’s not sleeping…”

I hope I’ll be struck with some inspiration in the next few days. I hate honking my own horn, although I’m told that I do a mean braggadocio in the presence of lovely ladies after a few Jack Daniels.

Maybe that’s the solution…

Finally, this set I’m building for CAPE Theater's Dinner Show “You’re A Good Man Charley Brown has been kicking my ass for the past three weeks. I never knew how hard it could be to build a “cartoon” set for a cast of adult actors playing children in a play. EVERYTHING has to be scaled up to look bigger than life, yet it has to be light weight so that the actors can move it on and off stage between acts and during the performance.

No 4x4’s and ¾” plywood, I’m working with 2x4’s and foam sheets varying from ½” to 2” thick. I’ve got little foam “BB's” blowing everywhere in the space I’m building in.

I bet I have 30 hours in design time doing drawing and sketching ideas, the hardest part being making it look “cute”, not “cheesy”—those definitions being primarily in the eye of the beholder.

Schroeder’s baby grand piano and Snoopy’s dog house are by far the hardest set pieces I have yet to finish, having already completed the school bus, Lucy’s Psychiatric Booth, and Sunday’s project—the “Kite Eating Tree.”

I'm also reading a script now, trying to develop my own version of the character "Piney" in John Patrick's play "A Bad year For Tomatoes" that will open in early May at the CAPE theater.

My rendition, if they actually cast me in the part, will be a cross between Billy Bob Thornton's character in the movie "Slingblade" and "Andy Griffeth's" Ernest T. Bass--with a little of "Green Acres" Mr. Haney thrown in for good measure.

I haven't acted in a play in almost two years, having protrayed the character Hanibal in John Patrick's "A Curious Savage" in the Spring of 2004. (The picture of me here on the blog comes from that play.)

In that production I portrayed a self-committed mental patient that thought that he could play the violin--but he couldn't.

Talk about a part fitting like a glove...

It was my first acting experience since the sixth grade, but it got me hooked on working in the theater and I've designed and built six sets in the past 22 months.

Me...ACTING...go figure.

Regarding my writing other than blogs, my two book projects are lagging badly, primarily due to neglect. I have the Novel outlined, some character development work done, and the first chapter written, and I've been staring at it almost continuously for the past six months, wishing that it would write itself.

No such luck so far.

If it were easy, everyone would be on the NY Times bestseller list, you know?

My cookbook, "The Redneck Gourmet" is much further along, having had several positive responses from publishers, but it is up to me to get the final copy together and most importantly, GET SOME NICE PICTURES OF MY FOOD, because people apparently won't buy cookbooks without PICTURES OF FOOD included in them.

Really, you can write a recipe that includes tree bark, dirt, honey, and a little salt, and if you publish it beside a pretty picture of a nice fat tenderloin steak and some asaparagus--people will buy a copy of your book and toss it out on their coffee table.

I, personally, being a cook, don't buy "coffee table" cookbooks and I'm not trying to write one either. Although "folksy" and descriptive, I intend my book to be used as a guide for actual cooking, mainly for one or two couples, but my publisher tells me that I have to get pictures for the book to sell, so I am.

Fortunately we've met a number of people here on St. Simons and Sea Island that have fantastic kitchens. Kitchens that cost more than my first house did, and we're talking about me catering some intimate dinners in return for the opportunity to make photographs.

Most of these rooms are full of things like Vulcan Ranges and Subzero Refrigerators. Some of these ranges have gas burners with enought BTU's to lift a hot air balloon off the ground. I'm thinking that I'll do most of my cooking here in the condo and reserve the final assembly for my host's home because working in a strange kitchen can wreck havoc with the preparation of my otherwise familiar recipes.

I just hope that I can attain the quality and taste in front of an audience that is typical of these recipes that I've worked so hard developing and learning at home. Wish me luck.

That about wraps things up on the home front here, other than my usual committment to regular blogging, which, with any luck, will continue unabated through the young year.

I don’t know if it is the left side or the right side of my brain that I’m using right now, but it’s getting a surprisingly good workout after years of prior neglect.

Now where’s my warm beer and catsup bottle…