Thursday, October 26, 2006


Would You Get A Grip On Yourself…PLEASE?

OK, I’ll start out this morning by saying that I’m sorry if I need to be, but I have to emphatically state that I just don’t give a damn what Michael J. Fox has to say about anything--embryonic stem cell research included.

If Mr. Parkinson Fox wants to slink off to some foreign country and impregnate a gross of women (or even 144 gross women), then harvest the embryos and feed them to chickens, I say that the issue should be between God, the local officials, and the fathers of the women (and possibly the owner of the chickens.)

The part of this issue that keeps being missed by most of the general public and omitted by ALL of the stupid moronic so called professional journalists in the lamestream media is that embryonic stem cell research is legal in most places in the world--President Bush and the US Congress just hasn‘t thus far decided to confiscate any of my money to pay for the efforts.

If, however, YOU have an extra twenty dollars and want to sponsor killing a few excess humans, I suggest that you go on the internet, find yourself an organization that supports the process, and I’ll send you a stamp to put on your envelope because chances are at least 50/50 that anyone that would allow their eggs to be used in such a manner would also produce and rear offspring that would grow up to be a freaking Nancy Pelosi California liberal anyway.

Now, having pissed off most of the liberals and all of the feminists with my introductory rant this morning, let me continue by alienating most of the aliens--both legal and illegal.

Have you heard about the flap that’s been going on up in Minnesota with the airport taxi drivers and passengers carrying alcohol?

Check this crap out…

The taxi controversy at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport has caught the nation's attention. But the dispute may go deeper than the quandary over whether to accommodate Somali Muslim cabdrivers who refuse to carry passengers carrying alcohol.

Behind the scenes, a struggle for power and religious authority is apparently playing out.

At the Starbucks coffee shop in Minneapolis' Cedar-Riverside neighborhood, a favorite Somali gathering spot, holidaymakers celebrating Eid, the end of Ramadan, filled the tables on Monday. Several taxis were parked outside.

An animated circle of Somalis gathered when the question of the airport controversy was raised.
"I was surprised and shocked when I heard it was an issue at the airport," said Faysal Omar.

"Back in Somalia, there was never any problem with taking alcohol in a taxi."

Jama Dirie said, "If a driver doesn't pick up everyone, he should get his license canceled and get kicked out of the airport."

I have a couple of things to say about this issue, and I have to admit that rational consideration has overridden my initial knee-jerk reaction which was basically this:

“Get the $%&# out of MY country if you don‘t like it…”

First of all, if I own the vehicle, I believe that I should be allowed to determine the behavior of anyone which I choose to provide my services to. In that respect, I'll give our Somalia friends the same courtesy.

That said, I also believe that when you enlist yourself in providing licensed services to the public in return for financial compensation, you also accept certain overall intrusions into your personal space in return for said compensation.

In Somalia, while I would never presume to just wander over and jump into your car wearing blue leotards and a red cape, I would also expect that in NYC or Minneapolis on October 31st you might reasonably expect to haul a man in a gorilla suit and a woman dressed as a French maid from one local to another because it’s Halloween here in America.

"Hey Abdul, over here we have something called disposeable income, and unlike you we’re not busy sending it all back to Africa via Western Union…you know?

By the way, I'll admit that we Americans have vices...we like to do unhealthy things like buying edible underwear that tastes like biscuits and gravy for our women, and it's none of your nappy headed business what color that underwear is, at least as long as we all keep our pants on in your taxicab."

Now this doesn’t mean that I expect our lovely Somali friends to be forced to allow liquor soaked imbibers to splash vodka all over the back seats of their 1976 Impalas on the trip to the Holiday Inn Express, thereby overcoming the pungent aromas of the incense and goat hooves burning on the crinkled, cracked vinyl dash board.

No, it just means that if I happen to have a flask of bourbon or a bottle of wine that I’m intent on taking to my room on my way from the airport at 11 PM (after the hotel bar has already closed) that they should shut their Muslim yaps, pay attention to traffic rather than what I’m hauling around in my carry-on bag, and remember that they are in the By-God-United-States of America, not Africa

And on second thought, if any of these Muslim Taxi drivers continue to have a problem with ME and my bad habits, they should just get the %$#@& OUT of MY country.

There..I said it..because most people are too chicken to speak up, dang it....

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