Only The G O V E R N M E N T...

Would Make A Company Write Something Like This


So there I was, happily minding my own business when I found these words written in a "Green" bid solicitation this evening:

"While performing the duties of this job, the employee is frequently required to stand; walk; sit; and use hands to finger, handle, or feel. The employee is occasionally required to reach with hands and arms and talk or hear. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 10 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, distance vision, and ability to adjust focus."


But wait a minute...here I was thinking that "finger[ing], handling, and feeling" had pretty much been outlawed as being against the law in every state but San Francisco and Holland?

Any way, after I wiped the spit off my flat screen 22" HP monitor I ended up writing about it here on the blog tonight.

I've already wasted thirty minutes on the concept pacing around the room and pulling at what little hair I have on my head...

It's really a wonder I ever get anything done because I come across stupid crap like this all the time, but then I remember that my dear Mother told me the old "not saying anything nice...say nothing at all thing" adage but if I actually followed that...

I'd never say anyting at all.

Then I probably could get a G O V E R N M E N T J-O-B because everyone would think I was deaf and dumb "physically challenged" because all I would ever do is grunt and puff my cheeks up in an attempt to add extra volume to my head in order to keep it from EXPLODING.

Now where's my giant tub of ice water and my snorkel???