More Stolen Humor

This list of made up words is attributed to something called the "Washington Post's Mensa Invitational." I can't find a link that would verify that it actually has anything to do with a contest by the Post, but it is still funny as heck.

The idea is to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are are some of the apparent winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12 Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you are eating.

Finally, this isn't one word, but there is my favorite invention that I came up with ten or so years ago:

The Rogers' Pulse Doppler Laser Nippleometer--a device designed to measure the ambient temperature by bouncing a a beam of light off of a women's chest.

If you don't get it, try to forget that I mentioned it...