A Silk Purse From A Sow’s Ear

I’ve Made One In My Theater Career…

In March of 2004 I did something I hadn’t done since grade school.

No, I didn’t wet my pants or anything like that—what I did was try out for a part in a play with one of the local theater companies. I thought that I had picked the most prestigious group, so you can imagine my surprise when I received one of the two male lead parts—that of Hannibal, a self-committed resident in a mental institute, in John Patrick’s play “The Curious Savage.”

Talk about a role fitting like a glove…

Thus began my fitful twelve month trip through the chambers of Dante’s Hell of Theatrics. I worked my ass off to learn my part, and so did a half dozen of the other actors. The problem was that there were ten parts in the play.

As a result, our performances were mediocre at best, but I was soon to learn that this particular theater company had a long, long history of inbreeding, infighting, and other political BS that tortured new participants like me into dismissing ourselves from their menial process in order to relieve our suffering.

After spending hundreds and hundreds of hours working as a volunteer both on the stage and behind the scenes, I finally told them to kiss the body part of their choice as I walked out the door for the last time.

I was tempted to end my theater career entirely and cut my losses, but instead I opted to look for opportunities with other amateur companies in the area. I’ve found two other opportunities—one being a very new group in their second year of existence and using borrowed performance space in a church, and the other producing shows in Brunswick’s Ritz Theater.

I’ve had positive experiences with both groups.

Most recently I’ve been commissioned to design and built the set for the performance of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carroll” at the hundred plus year old Ritz Theater in Brunswick, Georgia. The real challenge I faced was that I only had two weeks to complete a process that I was used to having two months to accomplish.

I managed to get about 60 hours of actual sawdust production time, 20 hours of drawing/design time, and when I completed my work and walked off of the stage on Saturday I had my fingers crossed that the cast would deliver a performance worthy of my efforts.

You see, there is nothing more disheartening that putting your heart and soul into a set design and breaking your back and tearing the calluses off of your hands building said design, only to have the actors drag-ass through their rehearsals, learn their lines at the very last minute (if at all) and end up delivering a series of mediocre or even crappy performances. I’ve earned a couple of Purple Heart medals for my wounded ego in the past year and a half as a result of the ineptitude and incompetence of a couple of actors, directors, and producers that I know.

The best set in the world can’t save a bad performance, but a good performance can be made to look even better with good costumes and a great set, and the set is where I’ve found that I can be of the greatest value.

Thankfully Heather, my director, and Rob and the rest of the cast have held up their ends of our agreement, as I learned last night when I attended “Tech/Dress Rehearsal” to make a few final adjustments. What a great difference actually being able to act and actually learning your lines makes in producing a play and delivering a performance.

The performance that I saw delivered during last night’s rehearsal was better than ANYTHING that I had seen in live performances over the past twenty months I’ve lived here on St. Simons Island and worked in the theater. I would have paid to have seen the performance, even though they owe me a few sets of free tickets as compensation for my efforts.

Of course it helps that there is a professional actor and actress in the cast, but overall even the amateurs in our cast have worked their butts off, and my set provides them with a worthy stage from which to deliver their performance.

I am humbled and honored to be able to participate in this endeavor, and I look forward to working again in the future with the staff of the Ritz Theater.

I’m also glad I stuck with my theatrical efforts, because a load of pig’s ears is something I don’t need laying around the condo.

Photos will follow...