Late this afternoon I wandered over to Harris Teeter looking for only TWO things--a newspaper and a bag of Sauerkraut to go with my Knockwurst and Bratwurst for dinner tonight.
Fifteen minutes later, I ended up coming home with THIS MONSTROSITY…
That creature would be a 30” diameter PUMPKIN that weighs about 150 pounds.
It took the efforts of myself and two bag boys to load it into the back of my Suburban, and the cargo net, bungee cords, and various blocks and shims were installed to keep it from rolling around in traffic, thereby killing me on my way home from the store.
In the back of my suburban is exactly where it’s going to stay too, at least while I cut a hole in the top of it, scoop out the seeds and extra flesh, then I hope to haul it over to one of the local elementary schools to do a pumpkin carving demonstration.
You see, I like to make my own 3-D patterns and do things that look like this two years ago…
And it looked like this in the dark…
No...that's Herman Munster, not John Kerry... And last year I found a Georgia Tech logo in a little pumpkin:
Unfortunately, today on my way home from the store with my newly purchased vegetable prize I suddenly had the grim realization that most politically correct schools don’t officially do Halloween anymore, so I may just have to lug the darn thing up the stairs and let it sit and rot outside my own front door until the end of the month.
Not to worry, because now I have my friend Keenan, the owner of Ziggy Mahoney's (the most popular dance club here on the island) checking out his kids' private school's interest in having their own Pumpkin carving.
One way or the other...it'll get carved and displayed, and finally I guess I have to ask the obvious question…
“Anyone need a couple dozen Pumpkin Pies?”
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