Saturday, November 11, 2006

Everything’s Perfect Here

Everything...Except For ME

Good God this place is beautiful.

The houses, the trees, even most of the people. No one is even FAT up here…it must be a law or something.

While we were walking around in the quaint little downtown shopping district yesterday, school let out and we were suddenly inundated with teens and pre-teens and if I were a 16 year old boy I would feel like I looked like this:

…while most of the girls looked like this:

Seriously, we live in a marvelous place on St. Simons Island, but IF I didn’t love the south and the coast so much, and IF I didn’t hate the cold so much, I would seriously consider relocating to the Fairfield County, Connecticut area.

The only problem would be that we would probably have to live in a homeless shelter or something, because things in this area are a bit ’spensive. I was doing some checking on the internet and the median per capita income is over $80,000 per year!

Just Damn.

Even the maids must be pulling down mid-five-figure incomes to afford an efficiency apartment on the edge of town…and speaking of apartments and condos--I haven’t seen any.

Even the most modest housing in the area consists of three or four thousand square feet of 150 year old boards and shingles, surrounded by a Revolutionary War era stone wall. Many of these “cottages” are actually “second homes” for people who live down in NY City.

There’s no Wal Mart, no Home Depot, no hotel/motels, and just a couple of Bed and Breakfast Inns in the area. It makes for an interesting population dynamic when compared to places like our little island which prostitute themselves for hoards of the almighty tourist dollars.

I’m not saying that they’re rude or anything because everyone has actually been very gracious, but this part of Connecticut isn’t going anywhere but up, even if another tourist never sets foot in the county in their second 270 years of existence as a settlement.

As some of my readers know, I have a few culinary hobbies including fine wine and cheeses. I walked into a wine shop yesterday and almost had a heart attack looking at their Port Wine selections. In Georgia you might find two or three vintages of Fonseca and Taylor Fladgate Porto in any given shop.

Not so in New Canaan.

Instead I found one bottle of 1963 (at nearly $500), in addition to bottles and bottles of 1970, 1985, and a number of vintages in the 1990’s and early 2000’s. Probably $7,500 worth of Port in one store on two shelves. The only things missing were bottles of the famous 1966 and 1977 vintages, else one could have stocked a complete cellar of excellent Port Wines in a single stop.

Next there was cheese. This one little private grocer that we visited had an infinite selection of fine hand crafted domestic organic sheep’s and goat’s milk cheeses, in addition to many fine imported European products that we never see in Georgia, even in our snobby Harris Teeter that serves the wealthy denizens of nearby Sea Island. One ten pound wheel of wax coated ambrosia was priced at nearly $150.

Now that’s some big cheese…

Thus far I’ve managed to enjoy our visit without uttering words like “shazam” and “Ggawwww Leeeee”, but I did get a bit excited in the wine shop--enough so that the manager came over and calmed me down by offering to box up and ship his entire inventory down to Georgia via FedEX.

I had to explain that I was afraid I was a few thousand short of funding THAT endeavor right now, but I'd keep his offer in mind in the future.

More Redneck adventures & commentary to follow...

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