Slackard Blogging

I Wish I'd Thought Of This Stuff First...


If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.


If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.


If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.


If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

If A liberal is facing living on the street, he demands to know who is going to take care of him.


If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.


If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)


If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal with a festering foot or ear lobe...demands that the rest of us pay for his.


If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.

If a liberal slips and falls in his own apartment, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues the apartment management.


If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal, moving his lips as he scans these lines, will delete it because he's "offended"
(or comment anonymously calling me a racist and bigot.)

Slightly edited from my Blog Idol Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical