I Bought A SNOW SHOVEL?

Just Shoot Me I Guess...


I went out yesterday and did something I SWORE that I'd NEVER, ever, Ever, EVER do no matter what, but early in the process of spending our second winter owning a house in a city at the northernmost latitude I've ever lived in I felt compelled to do it.

I came home from Home Depot with two bags of sand in the trunk and a Snow Shovel laying in the floor of the back seat.

The sand was purchased to add weight to the ridiculously light back end of our
Chrysler 300 (which is also rear wheel drive,) but I felt better when I rationalized that the sand will do double duty in June this spring when things finally thaw out because we can add it to the beach area in the Turbo Pup Pool Compound.

The bad news was that they were out of their $8.00 per bag "Ice Melt" stuff, some of which I had used earlier on our driveway in order to rescue the car from it's parking place in the grass.

I'm resolute that as soon as they get another shipment anywhere in Knoxtown (Lowes, Home depot, and the grocers were all out of it I heard) I'm going to buy an entire tractor trailer load pick up a few hundred pounds of the stuff in anticipation of needing it to be able to get to the grocery store to buy bread, peanut butter, and toilet paper later this month.

(I wonder how the left over stuff would taste on the rim of a Margarita glass...Roy?)

And does anyone but me think that I'm too old to be involuntarily learning this "Winterization Process", and thereby see a basic problem with this picture in general?

Let me explain.

Here you have a guy (that would be me) which spent most of the first 42 years of his life waiting to go on vacation...where?

Not sitting around in snow in Ski Apparel.

Not sitting in front of a slot machine in Las Vegas or Atlantic City.

Not sitting around or playing golf in the Desert in Arizona or Southern California.

Try sitting around with his feet in the sand, hand wrapped around a cold adult beverage, looking at the OCEAN.

Then FINALLY, realizing a lifetime of dreaming, I was fortunate enough to be able to give up just Vacationing and spend most of the next SEVEN years of my life actually LIVING on or near the beach on the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean.

Fast forward to TODAY, AND I find myself not only not sitting in the sand...but ACTUALLY BUYING sand and hauling it around in my car trunk, and BUYING giant shovels which are good for nothing but shoveling WATER...

FROZEN water.

Problem is...I don't want to SHOVEL W A T E R.

I want to wade in and lay in and swim in water.

L I Q U I D Water, preferably in it's WARMER forms.

That said, all I want to know is...

Who's idea was this Frozen CRAP any way?