Alzheimers Induced Insanity?

Apparently I've Forgotten More Than Most People Ever Knew...


I'm embarrassed to report that in the past half month we've conducted two hysterical fire drills here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River relating to things like missing debit/credit cards.

And as a grand finale...last night we spent a couple of hours searching for an entire wallet with Visa/MasterCard and ID and DNA samples and whatever.

Whatever...

I seem to have developed the annoying habit of spending time talking while checking over the itemized bill, and calculating tip amounts in my ever greying, ever balding head, so TWICE recently we've had to sheepishly go back 24-48 hours later to a restaurant/watering hole and say...

"did I leave my card here?"

Fortunately through sheer honesty and a bit of luck, being "regulars" people have held on to my plastic instead of going to Best Buy and taking home a new computer or a 2000" HD TV Surround Sound system.

Then last night after dragging one of Pat's cards around in my wallet since we were out of town in the Midwest, when I delivered it back to her she realized she couldn't find her little hard case "clam shell" wallet...something she tends to leave in the console of the old Chrysler 300 more often than not over my objections.

We looked high and low...

and low and high...

and by 6 PM we were convinced it was lost as we cancelled the bank debit card and took a belated minute to go out for cheap Mexican.

Obviously someone--possibly one of the people that came by on Thursday selling unwanted Pest Control and Driveway Asphalt Sealing Services--had taken liberties with our unlocked car doors and absconded with her stuff we thought.

Then we came home and after she continued damage control and cancelled a Corporate AmeX card and a couple of other things I, in the process of re-enacting the purported crime...

FOUND HER WALLET ON THE WINE BOTTLE COOLER JUST INSIDE THE CARPORT DOOR UNDER MY TAPE MEASURE AND A STACK OF JUNK MAIL.

Dang it...

All I have to say here is IT SUCKS getting old, and it takes all I can do all day sometimes to keep my faculties focused enough to take a shower and find clean undergarments a couple of times a week.

When the Turbo Pup thinks that I smell too stinky to chill out with me on the sofa (and that's pretty stinky as everyone knows if you own a Hound Dog...particularly Dachshunds) then it's time to take a shower and start rummaging around looking for my ID and credit cards I guess.

Maybe I should buy Missy the Turbo Pup a new harness with a Velcro wallet and put her in charge of the checkbook and finances.


"Hey... what's this charge for $250 worth of Milkbones..."