The State Of The Union Address

Using My Powers Of ESP...


Here's a preview of tonight's utterings in front of the Congress:

Blaaaaaaa Ladies and Gentlemen of Congress...

Welcome to all of the lilly livered liberals on the Supreme Court...

Blaaa Blaaa welcome to all of you Smucks up there in the Gallery and those of you stupid enought to watch this on TV tonight...

Blaaa Improving Economy...

Stimulus blaaa General Motors & Chrysler...blaaaa

Blaaa Blaa Blaaa hard work ahead of us...

Deficit....George Bush's fault...

Osama Bin Laden...BAD...blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh yeah...Jobs...a few people actually still want to get a job but tough shit...

Wars in the middle east breaking the bank...

Republicans are going to take away your medicare and social security...blaa blaa blaa...

therefore we need to "invest" in infrastructure and green energy and padding the pockets of the congress men and women and teachers unions...

Education...free college for everyone including your pets....blaaaaaaaaaa

blaaa...did I mention the public employee's unions need your money to prop up their pension funds...

blaaa blaaa but if we all pull together and you'll just let us keep buying more and more people off with benefits we can't afford...

blaaa...pretty soon only the wealthy achievers making more than $250,000 $200,000 $75,000 will be paying taxes and we'll take 95% of their money...

blaa blaaa blaaa blaaaa...

Thank you...and good night...

(I just wrote that in about 5 minutes BEFORE tonight's address...let's see how I did...)

And one more thing...I hope Nasti Pelosi will sit her stupid ass down tonight and not jump around like a pogo stick like she did last year.