Sunday, June 05, 2011

My Butt Is So Huge I Break Beds and Chairs

King Kong And I Should Hang Out Together...


So I wrote a really nice posting about the passing of James Arness on Friday.  Then for some reason due some combination of Blogger software screw ups and Internet crap the whole thing disappeared before I could post it all, and I was too lazy to try to re-write it.

Then Saturday I managed--low...I ASPIRED-- TO JUST sit around doing virtually nothing all day if you don't count fiddling around on the computer doing some CAD work and working on some PLC software modifications.

The Turbo Pup and Pat and I did manage to wander out in the back yard and pick up a few hours of sunburn on the deck and in the pool.

So any way--back to my posting title--I have these three giant fake leather Office Depot/Staples office chairs sitting around the property, and apparently my giant 250 pound ASS has destroyed all three of them because they spend all of their time slowly sinking down to the lowest height setting and threatening to tip over and spill me and my cocktail into the floor at any given moment.

And these stupid plastic/Plexiglas "chair mats" they sell you are disintegrating in a awful fast manner under the chairs as they collapse under the weight of my blubber.

While I'm at it, Pat was asking why my side of our fancy expensive pillow top "KING SIZED" mattress was all lumpy and bumpy and screwed up, and my answer was?

MY GIANT HEAVY ASS broke IT , DAMMIT!

It totally sucks when just existing in the world wears people and things out at the rate I apparently erode my surroundings.

Is it just me?

 

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