Hearding Herding Cats

Bankers & Lawyers Will Be The Death Of Me...


Today's bitching and complaining has to do with my bankers and other people's Lawyers.

Ready?

I almost went back to school to be a Patent Attorney some years ago, but then I decided it would be a bad idea because I'd be forced to commit suicide after killing all of the other lawyers within range of a 30-06 rifle once I finally went insane dealing with stupid "non-standard standards" and rules and "traditions."

I've just spent the past week and one half trying to expedite losing my ass in a real estate deal which was supposed to close last Thursday.

By closing one would generally expect to have all of the paperwork completed and more importantly...

FUNDS WOULD BE DISTRIBUTED.

As it sits right now I've handled making all of the copies of materials on my end, paying to overnight them to the Georgia coast on Wednesday, only to find myself...the OWNER OF THE PROPERTY...as the only person which hasn't been paid as of 1:25 PM four calendar days after closing.

The buyer's Lawyer has been paid.

The buyers real estate agent has picked up their check.

My friend Bruce...my Agent/Broker called to say he had his check...

But I...

THE SO CALLED OWNER?

I'm still waiting for a stupid wire transfer which is costing me $5 to receive a five figure balance and my bankers say they don't have it and that if it doesn't show up by 3 PM it won't be credited to my account until tomorrow.

Five days late.

What kind of crap is it that I can deposit a potentially rubber check and the funds are available immediately, but I PAY to have funds electronically, securely transferred from a law firm that had the money last Friday to my account, and the bankers get away acting like they have to decipher the da Vinci code to get the money into my account?

Are they hauling stone coins from Easter Island or Gold Bullion from Spain and Central America?

All I know is that it's a good thing all of my guns are in the next state in a closet or you might see me on CNN slobbering on myself as the "authorities" describe the scene...

dammit...