Broken English Better Than Know No English At All?

"Think So GI Joe....Me Nots "


Just Dammit, Ladies and Gentlemen.

I've outsmarted myself again apparently.

You see, I joined this thing you've probably heard of..."Groupon "...and bought a couple of things like half price  dinner coupons and such to use locally here recently with great success.

I don't do everything they do like half day Spa treatments or half price Hot Air Baloon  Rides but they threw out a coupon last week before Valentines Day for $40 worth of flowers or gifts with FTD for $20 cost.

I jumped on the deal figuring that I'd use it later this year for birthdays or whatever since I had already bought Pat's Valentines' Day flowers from Proflowers.com.

The only downside to Proflowers' product is that you have to put the arrangement together yourself after the flowers arrive in a box with a Vase and other crap you buy.

Historically FTD has the local member florist put everything together and delivers it to your door ready to go.

Therein is the only SINGLE advantage FTD's business model has today as I see it and if they are not careful, just like travel agents and buggy whip makers, based on my experience with them this week I'd say that FTD will be out of the flower delivery business before the end of the year 2011 because of the incompentence of their customer no-service system and the decline in their flower dealer network.

You see, I found out this morning that the local florist in my Mom's little town down in Alabama has dropped out of the FTD network...i.e. they've elected to stop paying the fee to FTD to be a member probably because the business generated using the formerly well recognized and regarded FTD brand is no longer worth the golden logo it's printed on.

Then after three days spent on and off trying to place an order and get sale prices and use the "Groupon" I finally managed to get through this morning and successfully negotiate their website, use the "Groupon" ID code, and hit the ORDER button.

Then I printed my confirmation page and put it in a file and went on to other things...like taking my mid-day nap.

Then not TWO HOURS later yet another lovely young woman which had apparently studied speaking English using cassette or eight track tapes played in a 1973 Chevy Vega or Ford Pinto with AudioVOX or Jensen 6x9 inch triaxal speakers called and woke me up and said something like this:

Lovely Lady on Phone: "Local florist say no live blooming flowers ready (the order was for a week and one half from now)...you OK they use cut flowers with live green plants in pot?"

Me: Whuuaaaaattt?

Lovely Lady On Phone: "You OK they...er...um...substitute cut life flowers for life blooming flower in arrangement?"

Me: "No Ma'am, just cancel the order because I don't have time to think about it right now."

So now I'm back to square one again, having spent $20 trying to save $20, and still probably owing another $20 to get something moving for my sister's birthday, and having spent going on THREE hours which I normally sell for somewhere between $50 and $85 per hour to clients.

If this keeps up I could probably BUY my own florist operation and deliver the flowers myself and SAVE MONEY in the process.

Is it just me?

UPDATE 2:30 PM


I went back to the FTD site to try to order something else and the stupid Groupon Code wouldn't work because they had cancelled my earlier order but not voided out the Groupon.


So I had to CALL GROUPON and explain everything to them and get them to issue me a refund on my Debit card for the original purchase.


Let me be clear here...I have no problem with GROUPON...BUT...


I'll never use FTD again except in an emergency like flowers for a Funeral, and I suggest that you do the same because their customer service is really custer non-service and their website is inane and customer non-support is feckeless and obtuse at best.


Gee...I don't have a NEGATIVE OPINION of FTD do I?