New House Preview

Back To The Future...


Well, a combination of inertia and crappy weather caused us to spend yet another day in our new home town of Knoxville, doing some banking business and shopping for odds and ends that will be needed once we load everything on a truck and make the final transition.

I guess that you could say that this place could be habit forming...

That said, I've been wasting time with Autocad drawing the existing floor plan and contemplating the modifications we want to make in the future.

Here's a view of the plan including my current aspirations and the new and improved rear elevation showing the new decks and master bath/sunroom/deck additions:




Time to head to dinner now.

Where We're All Headed One Day

?Comprende?





(Thanks for the tip Rodger)

Busy Week

Head Spinning


Let's see...what did we accomplish this week?

First, I just realized that on Wednesday I got another 270 words of editorial opinion published in the local newspaper down in Georgia. Here's a link to the PDF online edition (look in the lower right corner of the page.)

Second, we have had a WONDERFUL visit to Eastern Tennessee and specifically we really love the western suburbs of the great city of Knoxville. Maybe next time we come to the area we'll actually visit the downtown.

Third, we had our purchase offer accepted today on a lovely 1960's ranch house that's been totally renovated inside and is solid brick on the outside. By May first I'll also have a solid concrete unfinished basement in which to make sawdust and shoot BB guns and generally act like I'm thirteen years old again.

Perhaps the best thing about our future home is...

get ready...

it's exactly 3.7 miles away from my new office, and less than three miles from the mighty Tennessee River.

Needless to say I'm one happy camper tonight. Now all I need is a 21' fiberglass hull with a motor to make my life as complete as it can be while landlocked.

Congratulations are being accepted...

Dear President Bush: Let Our Military "Occupy" The Entire World

I've Got Knoxville, Tennessee Covered


Here I was, all excited and wanting to share the news of our progress, when I turned on FOX News and saw the President of the By God United States of America having to say out loud AGAIN what a stupid move it would be to pander to Pelosi and Murtha et. al. by retracting our men in uniform back to Ft. Bragg and Savannah and Ft. Rucker for election pandering purposes.

Why not close down Korea, Japan, Germany, and the rest of the %$#@& planet while we're at it and build a giant "force field" dome over North America.

Call me a neo-whatever...

Meanwhile, since I have to move back to the "real world", I'm starting my own list:

Incognito, shirtless, brandishing a firearm...standing in MY driveway in Farragut...HALT...WHO GOES THERE...FRIEND OR FOE?

(BTW...I think we're buying a house here this afternoon)

Live From Housing Hell

You want Fries With That???


The good news is that my eyes haven't glazed over yet, but the bad news is that we're still facing at least another day and one-half looking at houses in areas of what is known as "West Knoxville."

Sophisticated places with names like Turkey Creek and Farrigut come to mind (they're really quite quaint in spite of the harsh names.)

I'm beginning to learn that choosing a house under these circumstances is a good deal like walking onto a dozen car lots selling different brands and trying to find a comparable model within a given price range.

You just can't do it.

There's always some complication like a bullet proof sunroof designed to deflect meteors or falling space shuttle parts--or atomic powered air conditioners, digital 48" tires, computerized seat cushions, microprocessor controlled floor mats, or some other unforeseen variable that keeps the decision making process off balance.

At least our lovely Real Estate Agent is a real gem rather than being out of the mold of the plaid-jacket wearing used car salesman, but it's still a daunting task committing five if not six figure sums of your hard earned money and years of your life to a time-compressed decision making process.

Do you take what's behind door A, or go for the rental cash in the envelope...or trade for ownership of the hidden reaches beyond door C and risk living your life with a herd of miniature goats next to the neighbor with the six kids and the fleet of noisy ATV's and the dog that's overly fond of your right leg?

I'm thinking about staying in town at least one additional day in an effort to not rush the process.

Heck, maybe I'll stay two days.

Come to think of it, since I've moved my luggage into this suite, maybe we'll just stay here and sell everything else left down on our little island.

In the long run, that would be a great deal easier, and might make a lot of sense in the end.

Then again...maybe not.

Home Sweet Home

Somebody Find Me A Warm Place To Live...


Well, Mother Nature apparently decided that, IF we were moving away from our little Island in the next six weeks, that Winter should not be allowed to leave the area without giving us a small taste of what we should look forward to next season.

To that end, after loading our luggage, Missy the Turbo Pup (and her luggage), and ourselves into the car while facing a brisk, windy 45 degree morning, we proceeded to drive through the middle of the day to north Atlanta, braving snow flurries and even colder temperatures and stronger wind upon arrival at the hotel.

While it's still a balmy 50 degrees F at home, it's 39 degrees F outside my window and checking the Internet...yep...it's a lovely 34 in Knoxville on it's way down into the mid twenties overnight.

Silly me.

I didn't bring any long sleeved shirts, and it snowed last night in Knoxville, and worst of all...

I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS, BUT I SIMPLY REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT UNTIL THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE.

Regardless of temperature, we have a busy week planned house hunting, meeting with my Head Hunter, and a nice luncheon meeting with the new project team on Wednesday.

Hopefully we'll be heading back to the Georgia Coast on Thursday with a new address in hand, looking forward to spending our last weeks in the glorious weather on our little Island.

Crying Over My Charcoal

Easier = Better (for a change)


I had a horrible realization yesterday at dinner. It came about as a result of a modification to my baby back rib cooking process, and as a result my charcoal grill may never see a rack of ribs again.

Here's the deal.

For years I've been brining my ribs overnight, then drying them off and covering with a dry spice rub, then slow cooking them over indirect heat on the grill for FOUR HOURS.

The process was lovingly conducted at the time and expense of a half bag of charcoal and getting lots of ash and soot on myself and the surroundings.

My results are always well received--moist juicy tender ribs, but the mental and physical preparation limited my desire to undertake the process to a few holidays a year.

Not anymore...

Yesterday I brined and rubbed a couple of racks, then tightly wrapped them in heavy duty aluminum foil and cooked them in the oven for three and one & one half hours at 230 degrees F, removing them from the foil to finish on a cookie sheet for fifteen minutes at 425 degrees F just to add some color.

Dang they were good.

And the Rack of Lamb?

Some people find lamb meat to be too strong and "gamey" tasting.

NOT MY LAMB.

As usual, I went out on my own and closely trimmed the fat off the outside, then brined the rack along with the pork ribs overnight. Next I rinsed my lamb-cicles off and did a three hour marinade of diced red onion, mint, rosemary, black pepper, and lemon juice.

Cooking the lamb to a medium rare/medium doneness was easy...you simply sear the outside evenly in a screaming hot skillet, then finish the rack in the skillet in the oven at 425 for fifteen or twenty minutes.

I sliced the individual cuts apart, tossed out some sprigs of fresh mint as garnish, and even Pat managed to eat her way through a couple of sections while everyone raved over my results.

I wish I could have enjoyed the fruits of my efforts a little more, but my new internal plumbing is still limiting me to small portions although I didn't go away hungry by any means.

I trust everyone enjoyed good food and good company on their Easter holiday.

Now would someone please pass me the Mint Jelly???

Happy Easter

(Not my photo, and not my church, but I found the image here.)

Easter Dinner

Baby Sheep...Anyone?


Well, I'm pleased to announce that I'm back in the kitchen cooking this weekend after a six week absence.

Sunday's menu includes my patented Baby Back Pork Ribs with home made sauce, and since it's Easter I'm also doing a medium rack of Lamb for our small crowd of eight or so guests.

I bought the rack already "frenched" with the bones showing, I've got the Mint Jelly and fresh Mint leaves and the whole presentation planned.

Meanwhile the baby backs will spend the night in a nice spicy brine mixture before slow cooking in the oven for four hours or so to they start falling off the bone.

Ski and Pat are making veggies and Pat's also making desert, so in my limited capacity I'm the self proclaimed...

KING 'O THE MEAT.

I hope everyone has a lovely Easter holiday and safe travels.

Million Dollar Photo

And Toto Too?


Some guy managed to catch a glimpse of the Tornado that wandered through downtown Atlanta last weekend. Here...take a look:




Stolen from the Atlanta Journal/Constitution here.

.

Calling Owl Gore

Spring In Chicago?


According to the calendar, today is the first day of spring, but apparently someone forgot to send the memo to the Chicago weather guys.

Oftentimes in Chicago, March goes in like a lion and also out like a lion. An approaching snowstorm suggests this is one of those times.

Technically it is now spring, but the forecast is befitting of January.

CBS 2 meteorologist Mary Kay Kleist reports that a winter storm watch is in effect for Cook and DuPage counties, areas north of the Chicago area including Lake and McHenry counties, much of the area west of Chicago, and parts of Northwest Indiana.

Heavy, wet snow is expected to begin late tonight, possibly around midnight or in the early morning hours. It will continue to fall through Friday night. Totals of 6 inches are expected in many areas, with totals more severe to the north. Along the Wisconsin border, snow totals may be as high as 8 inches.

Far south in Kankakee County, only a rain-snow mix may be seen. During the season, 53 inches of snow has fallen in the area, and it dipped below zero several times – making this one of the worst winters in decades.

Among the Global Warming/Man-Made-Climate-Change crowd...THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING.

The Definition of Average

Highs And Lows Add Up (and Down)


One of the things that I find most interesting about having lived longer than two or three decades is the insight that MEMORY provides in keeping things like Weather (you know, high and low temperatures, blizzards, and rainfall) in perspective.

Case in point, the current heavy rainfall and resulting flooding in the Midwest.

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Residents warily watched as rivers continued to rise Thursday from heavy storms that dumped as much as a foot of rain in the Midwest and left behind more than a dozen deaths.

While the first day of spring brought much needed sunshine Thursday to Ohio and other states, authorities warned that many rivers would crest well above flood stage in the next several days.

Ignoring the current headlines, I seem to recall reading stories like this one from October 2007 about record "global warming" induced drought.

Here's their featured graphic:

Anybody notice that big dark red "blob' there in the middle of the eastern half of the map?

Notice the states of Arkansas, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, and Kentucky sitting there in water related distress?

And how's Ohio doing?

To find out, read along with me today...

Flooding also was reported Wednesday in parts of Arkansas, southern Illinois, southern Indiana, Missouri and Kentucky .(emphasis mine--VRR)

On Thursday morning, high water closed the eastbound lanes of Interstate 70—a major east-west highway—for about 4 miles in central Ohio's Licking County, the State Highway Patrol said. The flooding was receding by midmorning, but there was no estimate of when the lanes would reopen.

Morning commuters trying to reach downtown Columbus from the south were being detoured off heavily traveled U.S. 23, because its northbound lanes were flooded at Interstate 270.

President Bush declared a major disaster in Missouri on Wednesday night and ordered federal aid to supplement state and local recovery efforts in areas affected by flooding. Seventy counties and the city of St. Louis also are eligible for federal funding for emergency protective measures.

Several areas in Missouri were bracing for record-level flood surges expected to hit Friday and Saturday. Authorities were straining to keep pace with some of the worst flooding to hit their region in decades.

The National Weather Service was forecasting record flooding along the Meramec River near St. Louis. Some residents had already been evacuated Thursday. The Black, Big and St. Francis rivers in southeastern Missouri also were expected to see significant flooding.

The town of Fenton put out a call asking volunteers to help put down sandbags against the floodwaters Thursday. Gov. Matt Blunt said cities can count on the state for help as he activated the Missouri National Guard.

"Missourians should know that we are doing everything within our power to provide state resources to communities in need," Blunt said.

Much of Ohio was under a flood warning Thursday, with some areas cautioned to watch for flash floods. Most of southwest Ohio had received more than 4 inches of rain, and officials in Butler County declared a state of emergency because of the rising waters.

Again folks, I never mean to make light of the effects and suffering caused by weather and other "natural disasters. It's just that I insist on tempering my own excitement and enthusiasm with balance and understanding of the context of the situation I'm addressing.

I also feel compelled to want to point out how easy it is to get all worked up with the arrival of rain or snow, or the lack there of, then quickly forget the past in favor of lamenting the results of the current events.

Anyone that knows me knows that, when addressing our current rainfall shortages, I've recently been reminiscing about the drought that occurred here between 1987 and 1990, and continued to a lessor extent in the south and Midwest into the early 1990's (I remember because I was buying my first boat during that period) before the record setting Great Flood of 1993 inundated the Mississippi River from Minnesota to the Gulf of Mexico, in the end bringing things back to...

Get ready...

A V E R A G E Rainfall.

Get it?

Hog-O-Lanch

Thanks Steve...


Well, I finally wandered by my home away from home here on the Internet this evening and noticed that my usual meager traffic count was way above the numbers posted by my regular lurkers and the couple of relatives that stop by every now and then to assure themselves that they're not the craziest ones in the family.

Just so I didn't miss a day writing, I guess that this is as good a chance as any to welcome the Hog On Ice readers that stopped by. I'm in the middle of planning a move and recovering from some middle aged physical infirmity so it's sort of bland and boring on this side of the Internet.

Maybe I need to get on the Steve H Bandwagon and buy myself a new gun...

Wrighting Wrongs

Is The Wrighting 's Already On The Wall?


I really really wish I still had some patience left to apply toward offering original commentary and glib insight into the so-called presidential campaign.

But I don't.

I didn't even bother to tune in to Obama's self-proclaimed "race speech" this morning, although I did read the entire transcript as posted on Drudge Report.com.

Yawn...what ever...

I've voted in every presidential election since Regan's defeat of Jimmuh Carter in 1980, but I have to admit that it wouldn't bother me if I missed the upcoming November fiasco like I did the Georgia primary due to health reasons this time around.

I know that everyone should vote else risk giving up their right to complain about the results, but at least I'd have a good excuse, and at least I wouldn't be responsible for the crappy inevitable outcome. I also don't have kids to worry about screwing over with the poor management we've given our country over the past forty years.

How most of the rest of you out there look yourselves in the eye in the mirror each morning I guess I'll never know...

Just In Case You're Wondering

I Say We're All Screwed


Somewhere a long time ago one of our founding fathers--Jefferson or Adams or one of those old dudes with the powdered wigs--was quoted as saying that (and I paraphrase) "Democracy works until the majority of the population realizes that they can VOTE themselves a piece of the PIE (public largess was how I believe they said it in those days.)"

Well ladies and gentlemen, I submit that not only have we as a country arrived at this miserable point in history, but, based on the choices we're faced with in this presidential election cycle, we shall as a people ineptly race across the finish line and burst into flame--spewing platitudes of insanity as China, Iran, and North Korea celebrate our implosion and pick over our remains.

Archaeologists will likely find our carcasses buried in layers of ash and cinders, clutching our remote controls, fingers poking the buttons feebly looking for reruns of American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.

God help the Democrats for only mustering Obama and Clinton as candidates...what the hell do you think George Wallace would think today?

Nothing but a thin suit of a half assed black man and a lieing, miserable hag of a woman seriously vieing for the highest office in what was once a great land.

Regarding the Republicans and their current ancient war relic candidate du jour...all I can say is that I'm happy that I never registered to put an "R" by my every vote and still consider myself to be a Libertarian at heart. It's too bad the Libertarians can never manage to beat Ralph Nader for most of the moonbat vote every four years in national elections.

At least Bob Dole carried an Ink pen every where he went in that lame hand/arm (real war injury) while talking about himself in third person...I'm afraid that McCain not only talks to himself, but that he answers his own questions while no one is looking.

Few Original Thoughts

Sermon Transcripts For Sale


I'm just not sure what to do with myself these days...

Everything's changing, and my carefully crafted, cloistered existence is crumbling around my head rapidly coming to an end, or so it would seem.

The worst part of it all is that I am the one responsible for making the changes, and I have to act like I enjoy it when at times I'm not so sure that I do.

Then there is the fact that I have no one to blame but myself for instituting such radical lifestyle modifications in the first place.

For instance...there's important things like:

No more sitting on the sofa all day and night with a computer in my lap whenever I want to.

No more wandering around the island on my bike in the middle of the night on a whim.

No more trips to the beach or over to the marsh to make pictures of sunrises or sunsets or to capture foggy morning scenes most of the population manages to sleep through...just because.

No more bitching and complaining about the difficulties encountered living the life of an unemployed derelict a delusional self-worshipping blogger a professional beach bum.

Soon all of that will be history as I move back into the "real" world for my encore engineering tour. I hope I can make it through at least a month of getting up in the morning, shaving ahhhhggghhh, combing my hair, and putting on socks and shoes to go out and interact with real people, in person, on a daily basis.

Get this...maybe this proves I've lost my mind...

I'm actually thinking of cutting all of my hair off--nearly five years worth of growth--because it's easier to face the public with a sweaty head of 1/4" stubble than to deal with the preconceived assumptions people make about you when you run around at my age with a 8" pony tail flanking bald temples and thinning fringes.

Am I losing it?

Am I right to worry about things like that?

Do you guys out there in the real world really care about hair these days?

Then in addition to facing the weekly 9 to 5 ritual again for the first time in nearly ten years, there's the reality of having less than six weeks to find a new house, pack everything we own into boxes, and hand it all to total strangers to move 500 miles inland away from paradise.

Voluntarily...

I've never lived north of Atlanta. Now I'm spending money to move beside the Tennessee river three hours north of there.

That's right, I'm PAYING someone to move us AWAY from the BEACH.

This, after spending most of my life PAYING to get to the beach on vacation, and living within earshot of the Atlantic Ocean or the Gulf of Mexico for most of the past five or six years.

(vigorously shaking my ever greying, ever balding head)

I don't know if there's something in the water down here or if I've just lost my middle aged mind in a fit of insanity and infirmity or what, but sometimes I have second thoughts about this whole process I've undertaken.

Is it just me?

Tornados Vacuum Atlanta Streets Clean?

Weather Makes News On Slow Saturday


After spending the morning recounting the results of last night's weather related damage in downtown Atlanta, Fox News and most of the other TV media are now enjoying covering "Round II" of the events this afternoon as yet another severe thunderstorm blasts its way through the city.

During the 27 years I lived there it always amazed me how the north side of town could take a beating every spring and fall and the center of the city always managed to miss the action. I lived inches off of Windy Hill Road for much of my tenure in the area and we seemed to get a twister every two years or so--thus the name "windy hill..."

Being a son of the south I have a hard time getting all worked up over a little severe weather, as long as I have four walls and a roof over my head things usually work out OK in the end.

If you want excitement, try going through even a mild thunderstorm in a small boat in the middle of a lake or just off shore and you'll think having a house around you the equivalent of being in a stone fortress compared to the exposure you feel surrounded by thin sheets of aluminum and fiberglass.

Wait a minute...this just in...

Continuing in the perils of urban living, now FOX is talking about a crane collapse in downtown NY City, taking out a chunk of a five story building in the process.

Of course Republican and Democratic pundits will be sharpening their pencils and working up statements outlining four or five new government programs to address these hazards of living in the inner city.

Perhaps the "Clinton/Obama/McCain massive spending of taxpayer funds to make you safer from tornados and cranes program..."???

I hope you'll excuse me while I go trim my toenails now...

Not Much Worse For The Wear

Last Remnants Removed...


Well, my doctor yanked (literally) the tube "pig tailed catheter" out of my abdomen this afternoon, shortly after I tipped the scales at a measly 218 pounds.

I don't recommend the diet for the faint of heart, but thus far I've dropped a little over 30 pounds in seven weeks.

I don't know about you, but I'm glad this ordeal is nearly over with. I feel a good rant coming on later.

Stay tuned...

Meanwhile...Back On My Sofa

Slowly But Steadily


Today was sort of a red letter day on my calendar, having yet another letter to the editor of our local newspaper, The Brunswick News, published--including a little sidebar quotation featuring my name on the front page.

Long time readers may remember that I actually applied for a position working part time for The News about three or so years ago, and then ended up withdrawing my application and blistering one of the local beat reporters over the paper's coverage of a story in which I was intimately involved.

I've only spoken to the editor once since then, but I take his past and ongoing usage of my commentary as an olive branch of peace in what was once a very sore spot in my nervous system.

They publish practically everything I submit, and today's piece represents somewhere near two dozen times I've managed to annoy the general public with my sharp whit and keen intellectual insight over the past four or five years.

Speaking of keen intellectuals, I also just received the used copy of William F. Buckley's famous work "Nearer My God" that I bought on Amazon a couple of weeks ago. I haven't had time to do anything other than glance at the cover and the inside text, but I'm looking forward to spending some time with Mr. Buckley in the near future.

Why don't YOU get on line or wander over to the library and check out some of his writing? If you've never read his work, I believe you will be quite surprised at the content of his character.

Twisting The Dial On A World Full Of BS

Tuning In...By Tuning (Most Everything) Out


Thank GOD the NY Governor saved us maybe a few minutes of additional torture by resigning today.

Of course I don't expect the story to vaporize off the TV and out of the newspaper headlines, but still I offer my hearty "Thanks" shout out to "Gov. Spritz" for stepping up and being a man instead of a weasel about the matter.

Speaking of high government officials tangling with tawdry women, it seems that even our peaceful Muslim brothers in Iran aren't immune to the temptations of wicked women.

Tehran's police chief, Reza Zarei, has been arrested after he was found nude in a local brothel with six naked prostitutes, according to report on the Iranian Farda News...

Before he was arrested, Zarei was in charge of the programme for the 'moralisation of the city'.

It is alleged that in the past six months, hundreds of young people have been arrested in Iran for not respecting the Islamic code of behaviour.

I suspect that the lovely folks in Teran are likely to make the soon to be ex-police chief a little more uncomfortable than New York's now ex-governor.

I wonder what body part(s) are subject to removal in this instance?