Ernesto Cometh

Rain, Rain…Go Away


I’m sitting here at the computer, surrounded by gallon jugs of drinking water, loaves of bread, mounds of toilet paper and flashlight batteries, anticipating the arrival of Satin in the form of something named Ernesto.

I use the word “something” because the damn thing won’t make up its mind which way and where it’s going. You see, the path it ultimately chooses will determine if it is a hurricane or just a big giant thunderstorm when it passes our little island sometime on Wednesday.

No matter, the TV weather people are all still worked up into a lather.

I think that it’s funny that the storm failed to strengthen between Cuba and Florida.

Jim Cantori’s shiny head is still looking good there on the Weather Channel, and Al Gore’s eyes have rolled back into his skull. He probably has to have counseling and is being forced to take a double dose of his meds right now.

You do remember that crazy Al and all of his socialist Global Warming buddies were counting on a record hurricane season this year to support their cries for the US to sign the Kyoto Treaty and move everyone back to living in caves and riding bicycles to work.

So sorry Al…NOT.

This storm reminds me of a couple of the idiots that we followed for a couple of hours down I-95 last weekend, driving at 60 MPH in the left hand lane of the interstate, with their left turn signal flashing the whole time. You could never tell where they were actually going, and I don’t think that even THEY knew.

I have some news for them.

There are no exits on the left side of the interstate between Brunswick, Georgia and Daytona Beach, Florida!

Not to matter—they were ready with their turn signal if they managed to find one.

Speaking of turn signals, I want to digress a little.

I believe that a “Turn Signal,” as it was originally designed, was installed to allow a driver to tell other drivers what they are INTENDING TO DO…not what you are DOING RIGHT NOW.

That’s the way I use mine, anyway.

Doesn’t anyone else but me have a problem with drivers that turn on their turn signal at the exact second that they begin their turn?

Then there are the people that think that their turn signals are just a cool option, sort of like that little visor mirror in my Suburban that I NEVER USE.

There I am, sitting there waiting for a gap in the traffic on Frederica Road for two or three minutes and, when finally I get an opening from one direction, some idiot with a “turn signal deficiency” goes and spoils it by diving past me onto the side street I’m in at the last second, without signaling their intentions to turn.

Sometimes it makes me want to back my truck up, turn around, and hunt them down in order to give them a good cussing out and a quick lesson in what that little stalk sticking out on the left side of the steering wheel is supposed to be used for.

Seriously, where’s a Cop when you NEED ONE?

Come on…you agree don’t you…or are you one of those drivers I’m describing here?

If so, I’ll have to ask you to LEAVE MY BLOG…NOW!

For everyone else, you’ll have to excuse me now, because I have to go out and buy some extra water and batteries.