Official Transcripts

Local Stupidity...


It's a wonder I've managed to not kill a couple of the so called Condo Board Members or at least bruise some of our tourists (smiting them with the jawbone of an Ass or some other appropriate measure) thus far in the process of residing here in paradise.

Here's a sample of some of the stuff that goes on down here on our little island. First there is this little slice of the going's on from February of this year:

Dumbass A: "Gosh..look at that bicycle rack that's been sitting over there unused most of the time for at least the past three years. "

Dumbass B: "Yep, I just noticed it because those "mere renters" up there in "D" building started parking their bright shiny new $600 bicycles there back in November."

Dumbass A: "You know that the Condo Covenants say that all bicycles have to be stored inside the utility rooms, even if the utility rooms are full of various bullshit that the property management company never bothers to remove to the dump and the only bicycle rack in the D building is loaded with crappy abandoned bicycles with flat tires that haven't been used in this decade?"

Dumbass B: "Oh the injustice...I Know...Let's correct this situation by dragging the bicycle rack with the two shiny new $600 bicycles attached to the rack by cable locks out of the breezeway and around the corner, across the lawn, into the utility room where they belong."

"Then we can cram them right in there tight beside the trash cans. Forget the fact that we could easily walk upstairs and ask the owners (you know, the "mere renters") to open their combination locks while we move the rack on short notice...after all...we're in charge of busting"mere renter's" chops in the process of miss-managment our micromanagement of the Condo Association Ordinances."

Dumbass A: "Yeah..sounds like a good idea to me..that'll teach those mean old "mere renters" to clutter up the property."

Now fast forward your clock and calendar to June of 2007, and take a listen:

Dumbass C: "Oh my, oh my, how will we ever cram our shiny new piece of shit bicycles into the utility room racks in order to comply with Grandma's Condo Association ordinances?"

Dumbass D: "Just twist those other bikes (you know..the aforementioned shiny new $600 bikes that were dragged across the lawn attached to the aforementioned bicycle rack that had been sitting in the breezeway for at least three years previously) over at a 45 degree angle out of the way and force our bikes into the rack--God forbid that we park them on the balcony or leave them on the sidewalk for the few days that we are here--thereby violating the Condo Association Covenants...How dare they be "mere renters" and clutter up the place365 days a year with their stuff..."

Dumbass E: "Hey, this is a really neat LED battery powered headlight--I need something like this...so I'll just take it off Virgil's, the "mere renter's" bike, and take it home with me..."

Dumbass A: "Heh, serves them right...Damn Republicans..."