Sitting here within a mile of the shore of the Atlantic Ocean this morning, I can't help but gloat over the absence of tropical weather on the NOAA website map -- although for all of you weather hysterics out there there is an "area of concern" out in the Lesser Antilles and one off Central America which could serve to give you and all of the sniveling Owl Gore Global Warming zombies something to cheer for in the next week or so.
By then we'll have driven all of our stuff and Miss Missy the Turbo Pup back to the safety of her suburban compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River and will have to settle for watching the proceedings on TV rather than enjoying any impending "un-natural natural disaster" in person, but I digress...
My head starts spinning around slinging spit out of my mouth when I read News stories like this one talking about our so-called government keeping people out of their homes because of hazards like "mosquitoes" and the lack of "cell phone coverage" in the areas affected by weather aberrations and from which they were ordered to evacuate:
GALVESTON, Texas - Rats, raw sewage and a no-excuses curfew await exiled residents who try to return to storm-wrecked Galveston Island when it reopens next week, officials warned Saturday, a week after Hurricane Ike came thundering ashore.
Ugly as the city's last week and immediate future may be, the grim predictions didn't seem to scare some of the 45,000 evacuated islanders from trying to get home, even though most of the island won't open back up until Wednesday.
Another miles-long traffic jam clogged the only highway into the city Saturday. Some ignored orders to turn around, while others resorted to deception to sneak past police guarding a roadblock.
David Culpepper met his brother Joe in Atlanta, put a phony magnetic sign on a truck to masquerade as contractors and drove down to help a third brother, Michael, who owns an antiques shop on Galveston
Planes continued spraying the island to control mosquitoes, and officials urged returnees to wear masks to protect from mold and to properly dispose of spoiled food to stave off vermin.
...
"We don't want that flowing out into the streets," LeBlanc said. "We don't want varmints getting into it."
Hundreds of stop signs were being trucked in to replace traffic lights, nearly all of which were blown away, and 150 state troopers were on their way to help police the city.
...
More than 439,000 families had registered for FEMA assistance in the wake of Ike as of Saturday, and about 9,300 were staying in government-funded hotel rooms.
Have we really become a society filled with people that need the GOVERNMENT to protect us from NATURE; and from a lack of cable TV and cell phone signals and Internet?
Are we so fragile that our hearts will stop beating if we are forced to miss watching Geraldo and Gretta tell us about dead toddlers in Orlando and must resort to listening to Sean and Rush and Boortz on a battery powered AM radio while crapping in a 5 gallon pickle bucket with a toilet seat duct taped to the top and drinking government supplied bottled water, washing our feces stained hands in water boiled on a gas burner and cleansed with a few drops of Clorox?
We have?
And another thing...
If we did ever manage to screw up and get hit by a hurricane this weekend, since I never reproduced, and I'm currently not married but have been living with and own a home with a woman for going on eight years, do Pat and I and Missy the Turbo Pup qualify as a "Family" in the government and news statistics, or am I just a stupid single white bastard, Pat a "retired single woman", and Missy the Turbo Pup a "canine of undetermined origin" when they fill out the FEMA and HUD forms so we can qualify for our "spending cards" and get our trailer, replacement NBA jerseys, and $200 tennis shoe vouchers?
Well...I'm waiting for an answer here because I'm entitled to one else I'll probably need counseling by a government "grief professional" in order to get on with my life six or eight years from now.
Does the government really need to intervene with a threat of force or arrest to keep me from eating spoiled food from my sea water contaminated freezer while standing atop a live zillion volt electrical wire found laying in my driveway, as I force other peoples' children to walk barefoot through the glass shards from my shattered windows in my front yard in order to bring me a six pack of warm Budweiser and a carton of soggy cigarettes?
Things like this really worry me these days Ladies and Gentlemen, and starting right now I'm making it my civic duty...no...It's a religious calling...to get to the bottom of questions like this.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, WHO'S RESPONSIBLE, AND WHAT OWL GORE, sHRILLARY CLINTON, OBAMARAMA, AND JOHN McCAIN ARE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, AND I'M
Stay tuned for the answers published here when I get them.
That will be all...for now...
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