Today's Tropical Weather Tip

Tropical Storm "Maria" Pretty Far South...

I'm sitting around this afternoon pretty much just picking my nose and scratching my ass trying to get focused, and in the process my review of the local and international weather maps I noticed something which might be of interest to you in the next 7 to 10 days.

Check out this map showing the present location and predicted path of the 13th storm of this season--"Maria":

That path...Ladies and Gentlemen...is pretty darn far south toward the equator for this point of Longitude on the map.

That path could take this storm...even only as a tropical storm rather than a Hurricane...over places like Trinidad & Tobago or even Aruba if it doesn't swing north like predicted.

And if that storm continues Westward from that low Latitude for long enough then we might better be remembering a storm called ANDREW.

Of course it's yet to be seen, but I'm just saying...

(And I reserve the right to say "I told you so" in a couple of weeks...)

Government Dumbasses

Up To Their Eyeballs In Crime And Only One Bullet...

Check out this story about the idiot cops in Phily arresting a couple of guys for floating an inflatable boat down the Main street in their town:

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Row, row, row your boat, just not down Main Street in Manayunk. That’s the message police are sending after arresting two men who used a raft as an alternate means of transportation down the flooded street Sunday.

CBS 3 reporter Dray Clark caught up with Pete and Pat, best friends and roommates from Manayunk, who paddled their way down the water covered street.

“I thought, Main Street floods a lot, go get a raft and float down,” said Pat, who admitted the idea was his.

We thought it would be a good time and it turns out it is,” said Pete.

Minutes later, Philadelphia police stopped the men and hauled them away in handcuffs.

When Dray asked why the men were being arrested, he said the officers replied, “for lack of common sense.”

No charges were filed against the boaters.

Still.

They put the cuffs on the guys.  Probably ruined a perfectly good buzz from a few drinks before or during the adventure.  And then they hauled them and their raft over to the police station and made their wives or girlfriends or mothers come and get them.

For WHAT?

Floating in a boat in a flooded STREET?

Did they get arrested because they weren't wearing life preservers or other "personal flotation devices?"

They didn't have a fire extinguisher and watercraft registration papers on board?

See here, Ladies and Gentlemen...

The Cops these days are all going to the "Barny Fife" School of Policing...letting serious crap go on un-interrupted while they run around with their gun and single bullet screwing with private citizens doing harmless stuff like floating in a rubber inflatable raft.

And until we kick some asses into line and get the politicians to back off pretty soon it's going to be against the law to fart or belch in public without some idiot writing you a ticket for offending their tender sensibilities.

Dumbasses one and all...

The Yankee Wimps Blinked Over a Big Rain Storm

Sniveling, Booger Eating, Tree Huggers Afraid Of "Mother Earth"...


I can't even watch The Weather Channel or FOX News without laughing out loud at the hysteria being presented about this little wimpy storm called Irene.

I've checked the NOAA Forecasts presented four times a day, and by noon yesterday it was obvious that the storm was substantially weakened and would not regain strength before it hit NY City, but the media kept on banging their drums while the Obamamaniacs cut their vacation out on Martha's Vinyard short so the President could...according to the Drudge Report/Yahoo News--"Take Charge At Hurricane Command Center."

Here's a picture for your enjoyment:

I would say that President Obama's compentency in this role would be the equivalent of me sitting at the controls of the Space Shuttle or possibly a Nuclear Power Plant.

Another funny thing to me?

That NOAA was asked or otherwise felt it necessiary to have to make a custom  Name Tag/Desk Plackard with the name "Barack Obama"..."President of the United States" to place in front of this inept, feckless, obtuse man like somehow everyone in the room didn't know who he was on sight.

So any way, it's time now to get back to business in my basement building a new staircase, and hopefully the rest of the country will get back to business making money in spite of the By God Imperial Federal Government of the United States of 'Merica's best efforts to the contrary, and think about electing some people to office in November 2012 that will do a better job than the efforts of much of the crowd we have sitting in DC today.

Regards Y'all...

Good Night Good Morning Irene

The Yankees Are Sweating Bullets...


Everyone that stops by here regularly knows that me and my family have dealt with hurricanes for the past nearly 200 years in south Alabama.

Without any FEMA or Salvation Army or other Government/non-Government help.

Yet in spite of more than a dozen substantial Hurricanes passing over or near where I live over the past 51 years and 11 months, I'm still here today.

Now don't get me wrong here Ladies and Gentlemen...I'm not asking that anyone get hurt or that there be any substantial property damage, but still...

I have to take a slight bit of enjoyment watching all of the Big City Liberals up in New York and DC and Boston--those same people that are always looking down on us living here in the south offering advice on how to live our lives and "tutt-tutting" while wagging their fingers--offering advice and federal assistence where generally none was needed or asked for historically.

All I have to say right now about this weekend's weather forecast for New England is this:

LOOK OUT FOLKS...BECAUSE HERE COMES IRENE

I want you to show all of us Rednecks and Hillbillies down here how ya'll do things up NORTH.

(See you Monday if you're still alive and still have power and phones...)

Heh...

Hurricane Near-Miss Elicits Whimpering

There's Still Hope For A Politically Convenient Disaster...


I've set back this week and watched with some humor the reaction of the national lamestream media and the sniveling, booger eating, tye died, patchouli stinking tree hugger eco friendly greenie weenies to this season's first real Hurricane...Earl.

These Man-made Global Warming zombies appear to me to be morbidly gleeful with the approach of this first real storm on the Atlantic Seaboard.

It's understandable that NBC's "The Weather Channel's staff is finally happy to put on a colorful raincoat and hold their hat while standing around broadcasting live on location on the Outer Banks of NC, but even FOX News can't resist sitting around offering near non-stop wild eyed coverage of what is going to end up being pretty much a non-event in spite of their best efforts.

Of course, as is usual, I feel that I can genuinely comment with this type of disdain and contempt for this current generation of government educated idiots' hysteria every time a blip forms on the radar and satellite picture...

because me and my family have been living with the effects--potential and actual--of hurricanes for the past 170 years as residents of the near gulf coast region of southern Alabama.

Long before there was anything like "The Weather Channel" and NASA's and NOAA's Weather Satellites, we were pounded every five or ten years with storms with virtually no warning, and without the demands or expectations of FEMA assistance.

Further, in my lifetime spanning 51 years as of today, my immediate family has been pounded with a half dozen storms with names like Eloise and Opal. And I, personally, have spent a half dozen years living within a mile of the coastline in Mexico Beach, Florida and on the Georgia Coast.

I absolutely for the life of me cannot understand the current mentality of the media, politicians, and general public over something which has been going on since Noah built the first wooden cruise ship and loaded it full of animals.

The only explanation I can give is that people have been raised, conditioned, and educated over the past twenty or thirty years to believe that they should be allowed to build a house--vacation or otherwise--and then under the umbrella of Federally subsidized flood insurance and political gifts like FEMA emergency housing and Debit Cards expect to be left unharmed and made whole when the inevitable happens...as it probably will several times again this season and again every year from now until long after the North Koreans and Iranians have blown up the civilized world.

Does anyone but me not understand that until the Johnson/Nixon congress passage of the National Federal flood Insurance program in 1968 THERE WAS NO INSURANCE AGAINST FLOODING?

Until then, if you wanted a house on a beach or sand dune or island, you had to be able to not only pay CASH for the structure, but then if it blew or washed away every five or ten years you had to be prepared to pay CASH again to rebuild it else enjoy your water front property sitting in a tent swatting mosquitoes and sand gnats and roasting weenies on a campfire.

Let's call government flood insurance what it is...

a taxpayer funded incentive for stupid, ill advised behavior.

I'm too lazy to Google the details right now, but I'm pretty sure that there are at LEAST four or five times as many people living on the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts of the US today than there were in 1968.

Why?

Because people want to enjoy the benefits and glamor of living there, and today they only can afford to live the lifestyle because the Federal Government is subsidizing their poor personal decisions on the backs of everyone else that lives away from the reach of Hurricanes in Atlanta and Chicago and North Dakota.

Don't get me wrong, I've also taken advantage of flood insurance when I could so I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite by writing this rant, but still...

I WISH THAT THEY WOULD GIVE IT A REST ALREADY and focus the news on things which really matter and even then do accurate and fair reporting on the lunacy happening in every State Capitol building and in Washington DC.

You know?

"Above Average" Hurricane Season?

Sniveling Global Warming Weenies Weep In Their Tofu...


I want to remind everyone that after eight weeks on the Hurricane calendar we've only had TWO named storms this season.

And here's the current forcast map:



Probably going to be an exciting August and September based on the law of averages, but still...

Let the Hurricane Hysteria Begin

Owl Gore And His Rag-Tag Hippie followers Smile And Run For The Hills...


OK

I had to stop what I was doing this morning and write this in order to stop my eyeballs from rolling back into my cranium and spit from flying all over my computer screen.

The story is everywhere on TV including FOX News.

I assume you've seen it?

According to the "National Hurricane Center", everyone living within 50 miles of the coast of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, North & South Carolina and possibly Virginia is going to be injured or die because in this "Hurricane Season" beginning June 1, 2010 they're predicting...

Ready?

14 to 23 Named storms

8 to 14 Storms which at some point reach Hurricane strength

3 to 7 Major Hurricanes i.e. reaching Category III with winds of 111 MPH

Then the "reporters/commentators/news readers" proceed to tell us that this may be the year that exceeds 2005...

THE YEAR OF KATRINA!

All I have time to say right now is:

"Screw these idiots...and screw you if you believe anything they say and vote to allow the government to pass laws restricting my life based on computer and climatologist's pontifications."

Is that CLEAR enough for you to understand it?

I have to go back to work now and will probably be back later after doing some Googling the topic with some salient points instead of insults, so this will have to do for now.

...dammit...

Sunday Lethargy

Ho Hum...


Well, the college football regular season is over and the bowl games that really mean anything won't begin until the end of December, so I have an extra four hours for the next few weekends that I'm going to have to figure something to do with myself.

The house is in pretty good shape inside and out, with the only ongoing projects being the final staining and finish on the two new exterior wood door slabs I bought back in September in the middle of the Kitchen floor project.

Fortunately we have storm doors on both openings so the weather won't be a problem...and the front door slab is still awaiting hinge slots and hardware holes--something I'll probably do in the basement unless the weather warms up for a few days.

On the political front, I see where Dingy Harry Reid is up to his normal BS...calling a Sunday afternoon Senate session and a pow wow with President Obamarama to try to slip some more money into the the miserable piece of legislation they call a "Healthcare Bill" and getting the whole thing passed before Christmas.

If they do manage to get it done just realize we've all basically will have gotten a giant dusty lump of coal crammed into our Christmas Stockings courtesy of a Government that could care less what the American People think or want.

Then I read the most obtuse, feckless ASSociated Press article in the local paper this morning, subtitled an "Analysis" talking about "some experts say[ing] the world is losing the battle against Global Warming and warn that humans need to follow natures example: Adapt or die."

What total unmitigated BS.

The article then goes on to spew the typical Eco Friendly Greenie Weenie Tree hugger crap about rising temperatures forcing animals and plants to relocate or adapt (I call it "Evolve") and rising sea levels threatening every thing and every one from New York City to California and everywhere in between.

"Some biologists point to how nature has handled the changing climate. The rare Adonis Blue Butterfly of Britain looked as if it was going to disappear because it couldn't fly far and global warming was making its habitat unbearable. To biologists surprise it evolved longer thoraxes and wings, allowing it to fly farther to cooler locals."

Would somebody cry me a River over this horse hockey?

These same kind of idiots would have stood around the La Brea Tar Pit in Los Angeles and told congress it was Mankind's' fault the Woolly Mammoths and Saber Toothed Tigers were jumping in the tar pit because they were committing suicide running from rising sea levels and cooling global temperatures caused by Exxon and Con Edison.

How can these people keep a straight face when they hyperventilate and look at things that are happening (or not happening in the case of significant rising sea levels and atmospheric temperatures) and bend the effects and causes and results to fit their own stupid political agendas.

The article's author closes by telling us our Community Organizer President wants to give away $1.2 billion of taxpayer dollars for "international climate aid."

The World Bank and the UN and a bunch of other sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, patchouli stinking "experts" and "activists" then go on to say "...$10 to $12 billion a year through 2012" ...wait...no "...more like $75 billion to $100 billion a year over the next 40 years" ...hold on..."it may even be $200 billion a year or $300 billion..."

How in the world can anyone have any confidence in numbers like that being casually tossed around and varying in a range of over 3000%.

That's a THREE THOUSAND PERCENT range of estimates of how much of other people's money it's going to take to move poor people out of countries that started out below sea level back about 1000 BC--places like Bangladesh and Thailand and even Denmark and the Netherlands.

They want to pass some new world wide taxes on "rich nations" and then run out and do things like build seawalls and dikes and levies and even build houses on stilts that are taller than the stilts the houses are already built on.

What a bunch of highly educated IDIOTS.

I have a suggestion made by my old Comedic Idol Sam Kinison....

Wouldn't it be cheaper to send them Luggage?

And packing crates, moving boxes, and U-hauls?

And give them maps showing flood plains and telling them to get the heck out and move to dry land?

I swear people, if we continue to let these wild eyed, hand wringing, professional victims and their corrupt politicians reach further and further into our economy and YOUR and MY WALLETS, all we're going to get in return for our "investment" is the opportunity to avoid drowning in rising oceans and seas and instead end up drowning in a NEW MAN MADE SEA...

A SEA OF RED INK...


Is it just ME?

Think about it and get back to me when you have the time...

That will be all...for now...

We STILL Have Katrina "Victims" FOUR YEARS Later?

And We're Spending Tax Money Encouraging Them To Move Back...


I hate the fact that the leftist liberal NBC network bought my formerly favorite "The Weather Channel."

I say that today they might as well rename the stupid thing this...

"When Weather Kills Poor Folks Because Conservatives and Republicans Deny Global Warming Climate Change Channel."


Of course that name is hard to print in TV Guide and in online/TV listings...but still...

Seriously...hasn't anyone but me noticed the continuing slide by "The Weather Channel" into being a "Oh My God" there's wildfires and earthquakes and tornadoes and Hurricanes network?

Of course for years they've prided themselves in throwing Jim Cantori and Mike Sidell into the eye of each season's hurricanes but these days, particularly this quite Hurricane Season, they seem to just want to manufacture stories about potential future man made "Superstorms" while harping on past storms and the associated GOVERNMENT ENCOURAGED man made stupidity that caused loss of life and property damage.

For instance, while waiting for my latest dose of "Local on the Eights" I just had to wince my way through a "pseudo-weather story" about the four year anniversary of the liberal, sniveling, booger eating tree hugging pinko commie socialists' favorite storm...

HURRICANE KATRINA!!

Remember Hurricane Katrina?

How could anyone ever forget Hurricane Katrina...the storm conjured up by Karl Rove and George Bush to wipe out people too lazy to watch TV or listen to the Radio while electing stupid Governors and Corrupt Black Mayors and Congress persons.

...taking a big breath here boss...

So any way...I didn't really give a crap about today being the "anniversary" of that storm which legitimately smacked the hell out of the Mississippi Gulf Coast, but then they tossed out a bunch of facts that to this very minute continue to make my head spin near orbital rotational velocity and over pressurize at dangerous levels.

For instance, did you know that:

1. To date FEMA has generally wasted some part of over 7.8 BILLION taxpayer dollars in the state of Louisiana under the guise of "Hurricane Recovery Funding?"

2. To date FEMA has spent only 3 BILLION of innocent bystander's dollars in the state of By God Mississippi--while they really did take the brunt of the storm?

Or how about these Apples...

A. There are still about 1,668 "families" living free in FEMA trailers in Louisiana today...down from over 120,000 right after the much maligned inadequate government/BUSH response...

AFTER EVERYONE WAS TOLD TO GET THE HELL OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE MOSTLY LIVING BELOW SEA LEVEL IN 2005.

B. Mississippi has managed to run all but 441 of the government incapacitated dead beats out of FEMA housing after have 48,000 living in linear residential facilities (trailers) right after the storm actually made A DIRECT HIT ON THEIR AREA.

Now...

here is the coup de gras that caused me to start foaming at the mouth and spitting and throwing things at my TV screen...

The new kookie Weather Channel "Bimbo du jour" News Lady proudly reported that the City of New Orleans was recovering and the population was back to 77% of the "Pre-Katrina" levels...although rents were much higher and the Federal and State "authorities" were continuing programs to assist the residents in returning to their homes or home town (I'm paraphrasing of course.)

OK, let me get this straight...

We're paying for people to return to a city which exists below sea level--protected by taxpayer funded pumps and levies--while we also pay for many of these same people to live for free in taxpayer provided trailers while they wait on taxpayer funding to cover their rent so they can move back INTO A FLOOD AND HURRICANE PRONE AREA?

What?

Who?

When?

Where?

You'll have to excuse me because I HAVE TO GO FIND A COOLER FULL OF ICE WATER NOW AND SOAK MY HEAD.

That will be all...for now...dammit

Leaf Blowers & Hurricanes

Can't Live With Them...I Say We Maim & Disfigure The People Responsible...


Meanwhile, in local news, the lawn guy stopped by a day late this week to provide me with my $40 worth of noise, dust, and mental torture.

We covered the Turbo Pup's pool the day before because we saw him drive by, but then he pulled a magic trick and disappeared after only cutting a couple of adjacent lawns.

Then Friday we uncovered the pool to do some maintenance and sit around in it and sure enough here he comes again ...at lunch time rather than the usual 4 PM, and we had to recover the pool and I had to stop work on my never ending front porch refinishing project. (As a side note I'm happy to report that I finished that month long epic task just in the last hour.)

Any way, I had my head stuck in the computer and didn't pay attention, and dang it if the rocket scientist lost his mind again and forgot these words...

DON'T USE THE LEAF BLOWER IN THE CARPORT.

I was out there just now putting things away and straightening up in anticipation of being in Atlanta/St. Simons this week and having guests this coming weekend and EVERYTHING was covered with lawn clippings and dust.

I swear I'm going to buy a leaf blower, find out where this guy lives, and every time he leaves home I'm going to collect everything I sweep up here in and on my stuff and take it over to his house blow it all in through his dryer & stove hood vents.

And speaking of blowing, I see where we have our third named storm in a week out there in the Atlantic, as the Cape Verdi part of the "official" (I accept no imitations) 2009 Atlantic Hurricane season gets underway.

Owl Gore and his Hippy followers probably have had to change their underwear a couple of times this weekend as they watch the Weather Channel.

"...three storms...that'l teach Rove and Rogers and Bush and all those climate change "Deniers..."

I predict this season to be similar to one of the first seasons that we lived down on St. Simons Island...quite in June & July, then it blasted our socks off in August and September with a whole bunch of little bitty piss ant sized Hurricanes and larger Tropic Storms that rained all over Florida and delivered the Georgia Coast a glancing blow a couple of three times.

It actually made for a bit of sinister macabre excitement as you had to think about buying generators and plywood and whether to pack up and bail out inland or just move the cars to higher ground on the mainland and "ride that sucker out..."

Today I find myself safely blasting the climate change jihadi infidels from a safe distance here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River while my generator sits in the basement, unopened, still shrink wrapped in it's original packaging.

If you're on the coast and need one I'll make you a deal (retail x 3) but you have to come pick it up...which sort of eliminates the need in the first place.

Regards...Y'all...

Owl Gore's Crocodile Tears

Global Warming Weenies Lament Patchouli And Incense Producer Stock Plummet...


OK folks, take a look with me at a new NOAA image of the current Atlantic "Hurricane Basin":



Notice anything worth peeing your pants about this morning...unless you're a Moose up in Maine or Nova Scotia?

And gee wizz...but don't I remember that this year's "hurricane season" already "peaked" in mid/late September?

Yeah...I also remember that Hurricane Opal formed in the Gulf of Mexico off the Yucatan and roared ashore in early October of 2005 in less than a week, but right now from where I'm sitting all safe and comfortable on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River I'd say that our "above average" so-called "active" hurricane season is about petered out for everyone that wasn't flooded out on the Texas coast...(and to them I send my personal understanding and sympathy.)

Global Warming...BAH HUMBUG!!!

Liberal Government Bullshit Jargon

Those That Ordinarily "Can", "Can't" Under Political Mandate...


Sitting here within a mile of the shore of the Atlantic Ocean this morning, I can't help but gloat over the absence of tropical weather on the NOAA website map -- although for all of you weather hysterics out there there is an "area of concern" out in the Lesser Antilles and one off Central America which could serve to give you and all of the sniveling Owl Gore Global Warming zombies something to cheer for in the next week or so.

By then we'll have driven all of our stuff and Miss Missy the Turbo Pup back to the safety of her suburban compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River and will have to settle for watching the proceedings on TV rather than enjoying any impending "un-natural natural disaster" in person, but I digress...

My head starts spinning around slinging spit out of my mouth when I read News stories like this one talking about our so-called government keeping people out of their homes because of hazards like "mosquitoes" and the lack of "cell phone coverage" in the areas affected by weather aberrations and from which they were ordered to evacuate:

GALVESTON, Texas - Rats, raw sewage and a no-excuses curfew await exiled residents who try to return to storm-wrecked Galveston Island when it reopens next week, officials warned Saturday, a week after Hurricane Ike came thundering ashore.

Ugly as the city's last week and immediate future may be, the grim predictions didn't seem to scare some of the 45,000 evacuated islanders from trying to get home, even though most of the island won't open back up until Wednesday.

Another miles-long traffic jam clogged the only highway into the city Saturday. Some ignored orders to turn around, while others resorted to deception to sneak past police guarding a roadblock.

David Culpepper met his brother Joe in Atlanta, put a phony magnetic sign on a truck to masquerade as contractors and drove down to help a third brother, Michael, who owns an antiques shop on Galveston

Planes continued spraying the island to control mosquitoes, and officials urged returnees to wear masks to protect from mold and to properly dispose of spoiled food to stave off vermin.

...

"We don't want that flowing out into the streets," LeBlanc said. "We don't want varmints getting into it."

Hundreds of stop signs were being trucked in to replace traffic lights, nearly all of which were blown away, and 150 state troopers were on their way to help police the city.

...

More than 439,000 families had registered for FEMA assistance in the wake of Ike as of Saturday, and about 9,300 were staying in government-funded hotel rooms.

Have we really become a society filled with people that need the GOVERNMENT to protect us from NATURE; and from a lack of cable TV and cell phone signals and Internet?

Are we so fragile that our hearts will stop beating if we are forced to miss watching Geraldo and Gretta tell us about dead toddlers in Orlando and must resort to listening to Sean and Rush and Boortz on a battery powered AM radio while crapping in a 5 gallon pickle bucket with a toilet seat duct taped to the top and drinking government supplied bottled water, washing our feces stained hands in water boiled on a gas burner and cleansed with a few drops of Clorox?

We have?

And another thing...

If we did ever manage to screw up and get hit by a hurricane this weekend, since I never reproduced, and I'm currently not married but have been living with and own a home with a woman for going on eight years, do Pat and I and Missy the Turbo Pup qualify as a "Family" in the government and news statistics, or am I just a stupid single white bastard, Pat a "retired single woman", and Missy the Turbo Pup a "canine of undetermined origin" when they fill out the FEMA and HUD forms so we can qualify for our "spending cards" and get our trailer, replacement NBA jerseys, and $200 tennis shoe vouchers?

Well...I'm waiting for an answer here because I'm entitled to one else I'll probably need counseling by a government "grief professional" in order to get on with my life six or eight years from now.

Does the government really need to intervene with a threat of force or arrest to keep me from eating spoiled food from my sea water contaminated freezer while standing atop a live zillion volt electrical wire found laying in my driveway, as I force other peoples' children to walk barefoot through the glass shards from my shattered windows in my front yard in order to bring me a six pack of warm Budweiser and a carton of soggy cigarettes?

Things like this really worry me these days Ladies and Gentlemen, and starting right now I'm making it my civic duty...no...It's a religious calling...to get to the bottom of questions like this.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, WHO'S RESPONSIBLE, AND WHAT OWL GORE, sHRILLARY CLINTON, OBAMARAMA, AND JOHN McCAIN ARE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, AND I'M HOLDING MY BREATH NOT WATCHING ANOTHER SECOND OF THE VIEW OR OPRAH UNTIL I GET AN ANSWER.

Stay tuned for the answers published here when I get them.

That will be all...for now...

You Heard It Here First--Concrete Floats (And Sinks)

An Injuneer's Perspective...


I'm sitting here watching video footage of the Levees in the upper/lower 9th Ward of New Orleans being "topped" by the waves as the storm surge moves upstream to Lake Pontchartrain.


I'm sorry, but any Civil Engineer (or an "Uncivil" Injuneer like me) knows that with those soils being saturated on both sides of the levees and the silly little footings under extension walls at the top getting soaked, everything's going to head toward the Mississippi River Delta ASAP.

Water weighs about 64 pounds per cubic FOOT, and those walls are taking a beating right now.

Then again, maybe Michael Moore's newly found God will intervene...

Get Out

And Bite Me...Geraldo Rivera


So as the latest Hurricane roars ashore in Louisiana this morning, I just have to ask...

Who do YOU blame for YOU living where you live today?

Your parents?

God?

Your Job?

Or possibly...

the Government?

After all, the yellow pages are full of companies which own trucks and have strong brawny young men who earn their living putting things in boxes, the aforementioned boxes into trucks, then traversing the county roads and interstate highways (also supplied by the government and paid for with "taxpayer" dollars) only to disgorge the trucks contents into a new trailer, apartment, or if you are a Republican, six or eight new houses in another state.

Apparently today almost no one remembers that people less than 150 years ago in our country made that decision (where they live) for themselves.

The stupid ones stumbled off the boat, jumped on a covered wagon, and built a cabin on the scenic banks of a river in a valley that flooded every time the snow melted and soon were dispatched to Heaven or Hell at the whim of their maker.

Even further back in history we're told that entire settlements of people from across the Atlantic succumbed to starvation and Malaria or Indian Native American tomahawks and arrows and were forced to close up camp and move back to live among the religious savages of Europe.

Of course there wasn't much in the way of GOVERNMENT within the shores of this continent back then (if you discount the tribal councils of the Indians Native Americans) so people actually had to take risks on their own or otherwise think for themselves when entering uncharted territory.

Which brings me to today's dilemma...

According to every channel on the TV, thousands of people knowingly living on land below sea level elevation are facing the prospect of their homes, possessions, and lives being at risk as the latest in a million year series of hurricanes comes on shore from the Gulf of Mexico.

(Damn Mexicans...always causing problems...)

Supposedly it's the second time in three years this government sponsored event has occurred, but it must be true, because that's all I can find to watch on TV this morning...I was looking for some reruns of M*A*S*H or the Beverly Hillbillies...

I'm sorry, but my eyes have rolled so far back into my ever greying, ever balding skull that I'm having trouble finding the c o me p ut er kweyvboatrd roighyt nioew... now...wit mey fibngwers.

eep...urpph...gack...

Dammit people...but didn't George Bush try to kill these same people in another flood three years ago?

And didn't FEMA look the other way because most of them were poor and BLACK and everyone knows that poor black folks are only worth a dime a dozen?

And didn't the US by-GOD Army Corps of Engineers (as opposed to the Core of Injuneers--the group I belong to) promise to fix the big piles of dirt the Levee's after the last storm?

Well, I know that my regular readers (all six of you --and you know who you are) may be getting tired of this reference, but I believe that my old friend and Idol, commedian Sam Kennison, had the answer not only to world hunger, but also to the problems on the Louisiana Gulf Coast this morning...

Moving trucks...boxes...and luggage...here take a look at his words:




That will be all...for now...

(and no...I don't wish for anyone to get hurt in this storm...I'm just %$#@& tired of the media hysteria over something I've lived with, and for the most part avoided, for my entire life.)

Hurricanes Hurricanes...Go Away...

Look At What I Was Writing About Two Years Ago Today..


http://coastalcompanion.blogspot.com/2006/08/i-am-lieutenant-dan.html

(click)

A Bad Day For Boating

Everybody Better Trim Their Sails

Oops

All Blustering Aside...This One Might Be Serious...


OK, time to stop poking fun at the "Hurricane Hysterists" and get serious for a minute. I'm writing this after looking at the map before I change channels on the TV card to see what the Weather Channel Nerds are saying.

I just checked the 5 AM update on Gustov with NOAA

and they've predicted a more southerly/westerly track than they did at 11 PM last night, taking the storm over the warm waters between Cuba and Jamaica after washing all of the sewage out of the streets of the peninsula of Haiti.

Once it makes it across the western edge of Cuba late Saturday it looks like the whole US Gulf coast better be checking their stock of Bread, Ice, and Batteries.

A few people probably need to be gassing up their cars and tossing Grandpa and the dog into their slippers and crates in preparation for a hasty retreat by this weekend.

I say that there's nothing like a impromptu overnight sojourn to the Holiday Inn in Bumblestumble,Florida or somewhere in Eastern lower Alabama from the Florida coast--as long as you plan things in advance and leave before the tide pushes the water up to your front door and the wind speed exceeds 50 MPH.

For years Pat and I had longstanding plans to run inland into south Georgia's interior from our little Island if anything tropical actually managed to pose a serious threat to our bodies, our abode and our possessions. The idea was to move the extra car to high ground adjacent to the airport on the mainland and vamoose with the Turbo Pup and the safe, the pictures, and the computers and spend the evening singing Karaoke at the Holiday Inn Memorial Funeral Home and Hair Salon in Waycross, Georgia.

$200 well spent in my opinion.

Make your reservations early and often Folks...it looks like Hurricane season is upon us finally.

Anything Look Familiar here?

History...Gotta Love It If You Can Just Remember It...


OK Folks, this evening let's take a look together at the latest tropical "global warming induced" threat on the Weather Channel:

Now let me remind you that back in October last year I wrote about another storm and published this NOAA image:

Heh...

Doesn't The Post Office Foward Mail To The Weather Nerds?

Hey "Fay"...WE'VE MOVED

I came home today having spent ZERO time on the Internet at work, so after checking my E-Mail I dove over to the NOAA Hurricane Web page to see what our girl Fay was doing down in the Florida Straits and found this image:



Then I thought..."Isn't that nice, Fay's coming to visit me..."

Then I remembered..."I don't live on our little island any more..."

I still miss the place, regardless of Owl Gore's warnings.

Hurricane Predictions "Fay"ding Away

So Go Buy Some Milk, Bread, And Batteries...


As you may recall, I, as a long time self proclaimed "Hurricane Expert," spend a good deal of time watching weather reports and looking at on line computer models of the atmosphere.

Call it a hobby...call it an infection affection, but as I have said many before, knowing what I know today and seeing Jim Cantori's shiny head being paid zillions of dollars by the Weather Channel to stand around in a rain coat telling you to run away or take cover, I sometimes wish I could go back to 1977 and major in Meteorology rather than Injuneering.

Problem was, in those days (the '70's) all you thought of when you thought about weather was the local TV dude on WTVY in Dothan or the weather "bimbo" on the national morning TV shows that waived their hands over a map and reported that today it might rain somewhere and snow somewhere and the rest of us were going to dry up or burn up and blow away courtesy of the Santa Ana or Chinook winds.

Maybe I should call my self a "weather critic" rather than a weather expert. Sort of like a "Wine Critic" or even more accurately, a Movie Critic."

In support of that assertion, I can definitely tell you that a nice bottle of "Mad Dog 20/20" wine has a hard time comparing to a bottle of Fonseca 1977 Vintage Port Wine (which I am currently lovingly harboring in my personal cellar right now) or a 1994 bottle of Stags Leap Cabernet Sauvignon, and I'm also pretty sure that you're wasting your time and money going to see the latest productions by Weird Al Yankovitch or Michael Moore.

Back to my original topics of Hurricanes...I guess what I really do is not predict Tropical Weather.

What I do predict and tell you loudly is about our inability to EXACTLY predict within a WEEK what will happen in the coastal weather department.

Heck, the local weather men can't even tell me for sure if it's going to rain here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River at noon today.

So when the so-called real "Hurricane Experts" puff up their chests and proclaim an above average hurricane season I have to ask this question...

SO WHAT?

What do you want us to do?

Run Away screaming?

Pee in our Pants?

Move to California and subject ourselves to wild fires and earthquakes?

Move to Iowa and die of boredom?

WHAT?

And think about this for a minute.

Since 2005 when Katrina hit, the following Hurricane seasons (including 2008 to date) have been below average, although every single year the "experts" have predicted an above average season.

That's right, it's not in their best interest financially or ego wise to predict that the waters of the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico will be calm.

It doesn't make news, and it doesn't increase government and private funding for "weather" or "hurricane" research. If something ceases to be a real problem (or an imagined problem like man made global warming) the money goes away along with the news reporters.

So any way...now we have our first real threat of the 2008 season in mid-August and I ask you to sit back and enjoy the upcoming hysteria. I don't want a single roof blow off or anyone to spend a single minute without power/TV/Internet service not to mention being injured or killed, but at the same time ...

GIVE IT A REST.

We know...we know...WE KNOW ALREADY...

Evacuate if we're in the path of the coming storm, else buy 15 loaves of bread, 9 bags of ice, and tons of batteries if we're nearby, and then get on with being bored out of our minds by the upcoming presidential election coverage.

(BTW they just revised the storm path and forecast for FAY and now they're saying that it won't make hurricane strength as it comes ashore somewhere around Port Charlotte or Tampa.)