Rhetorical Inquiries

Answers To Questions I Shouldn't Have To Ask...


As I continue to re-arrange the carport this morning, already having made the obligatory trip to Home Depot in anticipation of the day's projects, I just noticed something amiss.

The problem occurred since earlier in the week, probably while I was sitting in the Hospital having my monthly dose of radiation induced photography.

The nice pile of wood scraps and sawdust I had swept up and left lying beside a stack of 12 foot 2x4's was gone--the wood scraps actually scattered around randomly beside the Suburban.

As I continued in my efforts, I realized that I was yet again the victim of...

A DUMBASS A LAWNWORKER WITH A LEAF BLOWER.

(Que the ominous music here please...)

Is there some law written somewhere that states that you have to be a total freaking idiot mentally challenged just plain stupid in order to purchase else otherwise be allowed to operate a leaf blower on other peoples property or the right of way of public streets?

Or do leaf blowers somehow suck the brains out of otherwise intelligent men?

Possibly they emit cosmic rays or some as yet unknown beam of insanity inducing particles and waves that temporarily disable the mental faculties of otherwise normal people?

I wish someone would explain to me why you would start at the back and side of a carport and blow all of the lawn debris and dust and dirt all over $25,000 worth of automobiles, bicycles, tools, and other personal property.

Wouldn't it make sense to wader to the front of the carport and blow your way out?

Wouldn't it make even more sense to tap on the storm door (adjacent to the open kitchen door) and ask the homeowner to move their cars out of the way?

Just wondering...Is it just me?

Quote O' The Day

Things On My Mind...Eloquently Expressed By Others


In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.

Edith Wharton, US novelist, (1862 - 1937)


My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

I'm very pleased with each advancing year. It stems back to when I was forty. I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me. 'Don't complain about growing old - many, many people do not have that privilege.'

Earl Warren, Chief Justice (1891 - 1974)


Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)


And finally, this wise thought for those overly healthy individuals out there that can do no wrong in the health department and beat you to death verbally with their successes:


I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)


That will be all...for now...

Someone Beat Me To The Thought

The Old Doctor Had It Right...


A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.

Hippocrates, "Regimen in Health", Greek physician (460 BC - 377 BC)

A Brief Unwelcome Intermission In My Life

Learning From Medical Interruptions...


Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to report that I'm back to my self designed reality again tonight, after a little over a day and one half--two entire workdays actually--spending time waiting on various "medical procedures" and thinking about what it means to be healthy, and how often we take it for granted, no matter what form "healthy" takes in your life.

In my current existence, "healthy" has quite a different meaning than it did twenty-five years ago or even five years ago, but then again, in the slightly amended words of of Forrest Gump...

"Stupid Healthy is as stupid healthy does..."

That said, what I went through the past couple of days only serves to remind me how lucky I am to be able to enjoy the day to day quality of life Pat and I have built for ourselves here in Eastern Tennessee.

In the early morning silence of my expensive "hotel room" last night, all I could think of was missing my girl and my dog and my bed and my new job and all of the projects I had going on around my new house in my new home town.

I was self important enough to worry about the three engineering projects I had going on at work and the current Mississippi stack project and the fate of the new stack bid I was working on located out in the Midwest.

The funny thing is, when you think about it...all of that work would have gotten done somehow by somebody somewhere, regardless of the outcome of last night's personal scare and my ongoing medical prognosis.

I guess what I'm saying is that the little philosophical tidbit which I came away with from the latest events is a renewed appreciation of the everyday and the "mundane" things included in every 24 hour cycle of life.

I'm quite pleased to be able to arise early tomorrow morning, traverse the 3.9 mile distance eastward to my office, and smile and grin through my day sitting upright in my office chair in front of my computer.

My brush with the alternative of spending days on end with IV's and other various tubes hanging out of my body, sucking down pain medications, while total strangers stop by and attempt to casually discuss with me my urine output and the recent performance of my bowels makes me quite thrilled to sit through every minute.

I truly hope that everyone's day is as good as mine is going to be...

Technical Difficulties

Anatomical Anomalies...


OK folks, don't go getting all excited when I say this, but I'm back in the hospital--this time in Knoxville-- because of the uncomfortable day a spent yesterday with my stomach problems.

We hit the emergency room about 8:30 last night...

Turns out this time was basically a scare that resulted in some CAT scan and expensive X-ray testing to prove nothing was seriously wrong, but the final results are not due in until later this afternoon.

Wish me luck...if you will.

UPDATE 2:10 PM

GOING HOME SHORTLY!!!

Talk to y'all later...

Someone Call Fox News

I've Got A New Philanthropic Endeavor...


I was flipping around between TV channels tonight in a fit of old aged induced insomnia when a story on Food Network caught my eye. The moment I saw the idea that the people over at the Canstruction organization had I knew that I had to organize a local event here in Knoxville.


At least I'm going to try...


What they do is enlist local Engineering and Architectural Firms, and even schools and churches to solicit donations of canned food, and then they have a competition where the individual teams build intricate models, structures, and artwork using nothing but the cans and a little wire and tape for support.


Then after much fanfare at the local mall or other public venue and judging of the work by a jury of local dignitaries, the structures/artwork are photographed, torn down, and the can goods donated to local food banks and charities.

Stuff like this is possible:

You'll have to excuse me while I go play in the pantry now...

An Eighteen Foot Deep Hole In The Ground

Two Feet At A Time...


This morning I have to go back to work after yet another three day weekend.

It's a good thing, because I need the rest after living through what I did on my "days off."

Besides hauling nine panels of pre-fab picket fencing back to Lowe's (after paying them to deliver it a month ago), on Saturday I wandered over to Home Depot and came back to my driveway with TWO HUNDRED individual pickets and the lumber necessary to support them on the 4x4 posts Lowe's delivered with the faulty fence panels.

The other thing that snuck into my truck on the way home was one of these:



That would be a little "One Man" Auger designed to make holes in your yard for fence posts or plants.

On the first hole my rented auger drilled itself into the hard Kentucky clay so deep that it could not be extracted with human strength (limited as I am by recent maladies.)

Fortunately my auger was stuck against an old clothes line post to which I could connect my "come-along" and jack the little beast out of the ground.

After drilling about four two foot deep fence post holes, my auger needed one man and one woman to hold it stable and keep it from killing someone in the hole drilling process.

After about two hours there were nine nice clean post holes spaced on 12 foot increments along the sides of Missy the Turbo Pups new pen enclosure country recreational compound.

Yesterday the rain delayed most of the outdoor progress although I did manage to get four fence posts set and one 12 foot section of fence put together. Thank God for my air compressor and finish nail gun.

While the rain was falling I managed to get wire shelving installed in the guest room closet, leaving the office closet awaiting my efforts tonight after I finish another eight hours of injuneering.

All I want to know is...Who's idea was this any way?

Government Inaction In Action

We Have A Severe Lack Of Space "Facilities"


Will somebody tell me what the heck is going on over at NASA, otherwise known as the National Aeronautic and Space Administration?

First, nearly half of the "probes" that have been launched toward Mars in the past forty years have not made it, then they tell us that it's going to take until the year 2015 to get back to the moon on President Bush's mandate, and finally now we find out that the restroom on the so called "International Space Station" is a one hole'er.

That's right my fellow taxpaying ladies and gentlemen, we're sending a couple of guys and gals up into space to live for months at a time and to be visited every now and then by a Shuttle full of visitors, and all they have is a single toilet to handle nature's urges when the time comes.

What ever happened to having a back up system?

Is this the way we want our scientists and engineers handling things?

And another thing...why is it taking us seven or eight more years to get back to the moon, when we did it in less time back in the 1960's with a bunch of guys wearing pocket protectors and using slide rules to solve the formulas.

Is it a BUDGET PROBLEM?

Why don't we all pass the collection plate and make a donation to NASA to pay for a second toilet on the space station?

All I ask is that we just keep Congress out of the process, else they'll add some kind of resolution on Iraq and funds to build a new outhouse in every town in every state in the Union.

All I know is that it's a good thing I'm too old to be an astronaut and go to the Space Station, because after a pot of coffee and a few bran muffins in the morning I'm afraid that the entire crew would have to abandon ship when I opened the bathroom door and the fumes burned out the computer system and warped the Dilithium Crystals.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that....

R.I.P. Harvey Korman

Your Friends Miss You...

Image stolen from here.

Join Me In Belching Some Carbon

Urrrrrrrpppppppp


I was wandering around the Internet this morning and was quite pleased to find out that I am no longer alone in my TOTAL DISDAIN for the global warming guilt trip currently gripping much of our planet.

The folks over at Grassfire.org are planning a "Carbon Belch Day" where they want people to waste as much energy as possible on June 12 by "hosting a barbecue, going for a drive, watching television, leaving a few lights on, or even smoking a few cigars."

I'd like to add burning a few old tires, having a bonfire, or leaving your gas guzzler idling in the driveway all day to that list, as I wrote in "My Personal Earth Day" back on Earth Day on April 22.

Time to go take a nice long water and energy wasting shower and go do some engineering now...

Aren't You Glad We All Have Government?

Busy Protecting Ourselves From Ourselves...


This morning, for your reading enjoyment, I offer this story about a woman in England who has been told by her local officials that she needs A LIFEGUARD AND SPECIAL INSURANCE for her toddler's 2' deep wading pool:

PORTSMOUTH, England, May 27 (UPI) -- A Portsmouth, England, grandmother says her local government has ordered her to have a lifeguard on duty for the 2-foot-deep wading pool she put in her yard.

Lourdes Maxwell said she has been putting the small pool out in her yard at the start of summer for more than 20 years for her children, grandchildren and neighborhood kids to play in, The Daily Mail reported Tuesday.

However, she said the city council issued a health and safety edict ordering her to empty the pool after she wrote the council to seek permission for a larger pool outside her house. Maxwell said she contacted her member of Parliament, who convinced the city to allow Maxwell to keep the pool, provided she pays for insurance and has lifeguards watching the pool at all times.

"I asked around for insurance and they just laughed at me. No one offers insurance for paddling pools," Maxwell said. "I'm always there to supervise but they're trying to tell me I need lifeguards for a kiddies' pool as well -- it's crazy."

I'll save the blithering and let you make up your own mind here because I'm fairly certain my regular readers know where I stand on this kind of bureaucratic crappola, other than to say that you can expect this kind of "nanny state" mentality to continue to creep into your life while you're busy working to pay for your house, kids, and cars.

Next we have this story which strikes a little closer to home here in Tennessee about a rare bottle collector that had his million dollar collection of Jack Daniels bottles (full of Jack) stolen by the Government:

NASHVILLE - Prosecutors and defense attorneys are negotiating to settle the case of a Nashville-area man indicted on charges of illegally possessing up to $1 million worth of Jack Daniel's whiskey.

Randy Piper, 47, of Goodlettsville is free on $25,000 bond and is due in court in Lynchburg on Aug. 12 to have a trial date set.

But District Attorney General Charles Crawford and Raymond Fraley Jr., Piper's attorney, both said they are optimistic the case can be resolved.

Piper was indicted in Moore County last January after state liquor officials seized 2,400 bottles in October following a tip that someone was selling alcohol without a license. They raided two warehouses owned by Piper and a home in Lynchburg, the small town about 65 miles southeast of Nashville where the famous Tennessee sipping whiskey is distilled

...

Piper, a plumber, has said he's a collector of Jack Daniel's bottles, and Fraley has said his client was singled out for selling one bottle for approximately $350 and charged with illegally possessing the others.

"It's unfortunate it got this far for one bottle of whiskey," Fraley said. "They took his entire collection when there are collectors around Moore County (Lynchburg) who possess a lot of bottles of whiskey."

...

ABC officials have said the value of the seized liquor has possibly been driven up by the value of the antique bottles, which range from 3 liters to half-pints.

One seized bottle dates to 1914, with its seal unbroken. ABC agents have estimated its value at about $10,000.

Piper and his attorney have claimed that Piper was selling collectible bottles, not whiskey.

...

"The ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Commission) and my office have tried to coordinate what Mr. Piper should get back and what should be destroyed or put in a museum," Crawford said.

Can you believe this CRAP?

The government of the by-God State of Tennessee has gone out and taken a citizen's property, paid for over a lifetime with his hard earned after tax dollars, and is in the process of "collecting" the "illegal bottles" from their rightful owner considering placing them in a museum...while at the same time hiding behind "bootlegging laws" and preventing the owner of the bottles from enjoying the profit from their sale.

Either they are collectors items or they are illegal alcohol...they can't have it both ways, I believe.

If the bottles contained urine samples, ketchup, or "Dr. Rogers Funky Foot Remedy" and somehow there was a collectors market for the sealed containers everything would be hunky dorry, but because it's Tennessee's most famous liquor, produced in a county of the state where it is still illegal to sell alcohol on a retail basis in the year 2008, this poor guy has been arrested, sent to jail, and forced to post bond to gain his freedom.

Are YOU happy with the governments of the world spending YOUR tax dollars protecting you from women with unguarded, uninsured wading pools and vendors of antique liver killing fluids?

Or wouldn't you rather just go back to the idea of the government promoting your right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" and let the individual decide the meaning of same?

That will be all...for now...

New US Map

Simple Enough???

(Don't EVEN start on me...I'm equally insensitive to most EVERYBODY...)

Quote O' The Day

Listen Up...


"A slip of a foot you may soon recover, but a slip of a tongue you may never get over."

"At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgment."

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. "

"God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. "

Ben Franklin (1706-1790)



And finally...this gem:

"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything."

George Carlin (1937- )

New Book

Look At What I'm Bidding On On E-Bay...





Yes, that's a 1957 first printing edition of Ayn Rand's epic "Atlas Shrugged"...all 1,100 plus pages worth.

Why don't you go buy yourself a copy and loan it to a couple of your favorite fascist, socialist liberal friends to read before this November's election.

I AM Not THAT Old

Am I?


So we went out and saw some grown man & woman get married yesterday.

Upon arrival at the church I thought that I knew and had gone to school with the Bride's parents, but clearly I was mistaken as I cannot be old enough to have a daughter her age.

Then we went and stuffed ourselves with food and drink at the reception, and I saw all of these people that went to College with us in Atlanta and they were all grey headed middle aged men.

There I stood with my ever greying, ever balding pony tailed adorned skull, scratching various body parts and wondering what had happened.

I finally cleared my mind by understanding that Bill & Beth's family had been living in an alternate universe in North Carolina, sponsored by scientists at Duke University, causing time to pass more quickly than the speed the clock clicked down in Alabama, Georgia, and Florida in the years since we first met in 1977.

Then I thought..."But wait, it's 2008, and Curt was born when...1985?"

So SHE IS 23, and...

I AM THAT OLD.

Excuse me while I schedule my hair system transplant and go join a health club...

pffearPeerless

I Have A Nose For Good Food...


Being a contrarian, instead of taking the interstate route that involved the shortest distance between Knoxtown (my new name for our suburb of Knoxville--not quite the main city, not quite Farragut, but Lovell is too hard to explain to people) and Charlotte, we ventured northeast on I-40 and I-81 before turning back to the southeast toward our final Saturday destination.

After a few brief hours in the car, I could hardly believe it when we arrived at the local Holiday Inn in Johnson City Tennessee and found the Peerless Restaurant, founded nearby in 1938, DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM OUR ABODE FOR THE EVENING.

We unloaded our luggage and the sea chests and lockers belonging to our little Missy the Turbo Pup into the room, delivered fresh water and food after allowing her to make a much needed "pit stop" on the lawn of the puppy friendly hotel, then wandered across the street for dinner.

Great place, all in all, with pictures of Bob Hope and Tennessee Ernie Ford in the foyer and a waiter that had grown up first eating at the old location and now working as an adult in the new 1990 vintage building.

Other than that, the best news thus far is that there is another Peerless restaurant just down the street from our house in Knoxtown!

...needless to say we can hardly wait to get back home next week.

1800 Blog Postings

Mind Racing...Head Spinning...



Actually ladies and gentlemen, this represents essay number 1801 since things got started in my little sector of the Bloggosphere back about 45 months ago.

I really wish I had more to say these days, even if it were profanity laced partisan BS, but instead I'm spending my time being something I haven't spent much time doing in years...

I'M PRODUCTIVE ( as opposed to re-productive?)

Any way...

If daytime engineering projects and evening marketing plan development weren't enough, now I'm facing a Memorial Day weekend trip across the mountains to Charlotte, North Carolina to witness the daughter of a couple of college friends get married Saturday afternoon.

As I just recalled, Curtis was born the day after her parents, Bill and Beth, rode out a tornado in my little S-10 Blazer with my wife of the day and myself up on Windy Hill Road in Marietta, GA on our way to dinner in early 1984 (?).

The wind howled, the little SUV shook, and after having to come to a complete stop in the five lane road because of the green sky and zero visibility, when the wind died down and the rain ceased we were astonished to find a mobile office trailer from an adjacent shopping center construction site blown down an embankment and shattered to pieces in the roadway just ahead of us.

Twenty five yards could have possibly made the difference between a blank page and you're ability to read these words this morning; and there might not be a beautiful young bride and beaming parents adjacent to the altar this weekend had providence and the hand of God not stopped us at that point in the roadway that evening.

Who says I'm not one lucky son of a gun in spite of my best efforts to the contrary?

Quote O' The Day

And Some Political Commentary...


Fellow writer and personal Idol Samuel Clemmons is attributed to saying (or writing) these words:

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

"When angry count four; when very angry, swear."

Likewise, I say that enjoying the misfortune or suffering of those you disagree with philosophically is similar in a fashion to cursing and swearing.

Thus my silence to date here on this blog regarding Senator Ted Kennedy's recent medical problems.

Needless to say that I don't personally like the baby brother of President JFK (although I've never met the man and he's never done anything to me outside of passing some ridiculous legislation since coming into office in 1962.)

It's just that simple...

I think that he's done some bad things in his life and been cut slack socially and legally because of his position in society.

Then again, who am I to comment on the pressures and pitfalls brought upon a young (or middle aged or old) man residing in the social and political position which Senator Ted has occupied for the past 76 years?

I've learned as a mature adult that it takes a better, more intelligent Man or Woman to state your case and express your position when under pressure or distress without using profanity, and I also believe that we elevate the level and meaning of the ongoing political dialogue by wishing Senator Kennedy the best as a human being while at the same time disagreeing with some of the things he's done in the past and any leftist leanings he may continue to force upon us from his bully Senate pulpit in the future.

Thus my silence, but in breaking it I offer my best wishes for a complete and speedy recovery to Massachusetts' elder statesman.

New Engineering Technology

Beam Me Up Scotty...


I can hardly wait to get back in front of my office computer tomorrow morning.

You see, if things go as planned not only will I be driving AutoCAD 2009, but I'll also have a copy of Bentley Systems' STAAD 2006 finite element software residing on my hard disk by around 7 AM.

Yeah...I know...I know...I know...

EVERYONE doesn't appreciate having $7,000 worth of new programs that don't play music videos or sell you used books or E-bay auction items.

Still, I'll be lucky enough to be sitting in front of one of the baddest engineering terminals in our building on a daily basis (one of only three seats with AutoCAD 2009) as my importance continues to increase and I demonstrate my value as a businessman and engineer.

As of Tuesday afternoon I have permission to charge hours to the Business Development account, and I'm writing a marketing plan to expand our industrial duct system business into new areas and include my steel and fiberglass stack experience in our offerings.

I swore that I was out of the stack business on a daily basis for good after things went south in 1999 with my old corporation, but I guess eight years of being a professional beach bum balmed my spirit and allowed the smoldering embers left from the old fires to re-ignite.

You can just call me an old softy...I guess...

Happy 100th Birthday Mr. Stewart

(1908-1997)