James Gregory

Last Minute Entertainment...


You may be amazed to learn that Pat and I haven't been to a Theater to see a movie since we left Atlanta in 2003, and though we've spent a good deal of time in "Community Theaters" watching plays I was either acting in or designing/building the sets for we also haven't paid to see a concert since the Atlanta days either.

I think the last live national act we saw was Blue Oyster Cult at a street festival in West Virginia three or four years ago also.

Fast forward to last week when I heard on the radio that southern comedian James Gregory was at the comedy club about three miles from the house here on the banks of the Mighty Tennesse river.

I've heard him on the radio for years and saw him the first time at the Punch Line in Atlanta about 1996 and enjoyed his material, so after dinner and drinks last night I couldn't stand it any longer...we wandered by and got two of the last half dozen seats available for the 7 PM show and I laughed my ass off of near an hour.

Here's a look at his style:

REVELATION AND CONFESSIONS

Why I NEVER...

voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my boat.

voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I ever would.

voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.


"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


(Thanks for the link Rodge over at http://curmudgeonlyskeptical.blogspot.com/)

"Homogeneous Versus Heterogeneous Nucleation In Steam Systems"

I've Just Learned It's Actually Not A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered Social Issue...


That's what I spent my day looking at...a Canadian Master's Degree Candidate's Thesis addressing the phenomena called a BLEVE (Boiling Liquid Expanding Vapor Explosion) and the underlying physics and phenomena details.

The visiting kids and their toddler wandered off to explore on their own and Pat and I and Missy the Turbo Pup are relaxing in silence and heading out for drinks and dinner.

Anyone know about the Rayleigh method of calculating the growth and collapse of bubbles in things like your beer and champaign and club soda...or in my case a gaint steam system that can explode and peal your skin off your arms and rupture your spleen and eyeballs?

I'm figuring it all out, and details to follow once I understand things.

Have a nice weekend...If you will...

Pool Full...Air Compressor Dead

Leaf Blower Operator Escapes With Scalp and Skin...


Dang it...It's supposed to rain all day today again here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

As a result our idiot with the leaf blower lawn maintenance technician showed up a day early so I had to cover the partially filled pool and move all of my deck and fence building supplies and debris around out of his way.

I instructed him to stay two feet away from the pool with the weed eater and leave the carport untouched with the leaf blower.

For his own safety and welfare he dutifully complied.

I guess a shaggy headed, ever greying, ever balding middle aged man brandishing a 2x4 still has some clout in our society today.

With company in town, a lull in injuneering consulting deadlines, and the injured air compressor my productivity has been reduced to things you can do on the sofa and Google time spent in front of the computer.

I'm so lazy I don't even feel like bitching about President Obama Rama Ding Dang who according to news reports and White House briefings has suddenly discovered his Muslim heritage now a half year after the election was over with.

As I understand it he's currently on a tour through the Middle East shaking left handed and showing the Emirs and Princes and Kings the bottoms of his tan feet (you have to know something about insults in Arab countries to get that joke.)

Me personally, I'd still like to bubble wrap and crate up Obamarama and Reid and Pelosi and McCain and the fence sitting senators from Pennsylvania and South Carolina (and toss in Madd Jack Murtha's eyebrows just for fun) and ship the entire gaggle of lieing fools down to somewhere like Haiti or Cuba and let them "hoist" their bed wetting, sniveling, booger eating tree hugging socialist agenda on someone that could actually USE it and WANTs it and might actually DESERVE it.

(Obama says we can't "hoist" our Western values on the Muslim nations...but I digress...)

Any way, then they'd possibly leave me and my wallet alone because they'd finally be living somewhere where there actually is a "healthcare crisis" and a "wage gap."

I can hope and dream...can't I?

Time for a nap I guess...

Air Compressor Still Limping

Pool Near Full


Oh...I don't know...where to start this morning?

Of course I couldn't just run over to Home Depot yesterday and buy a couple feet of hose and some hose clamps and come home 20 minutes later...things only come out that way something like 1 out of 100 trips and I'd already had my lucky single repair part purchasing trip sometime earlier in 2009.

This time the difficulty was because HD no longer has the hose selection they once carried and I needed small 1/4" diameter hose capable of handling 110 PSI of pressure.

Clear vinyl aquarium tubing wouldn't cut it, so on down the road to Lowe's we went.

They had exactly what I wanted--all $0.60 worth--and after rummaging around to find the hose clamps (two isles over) I was on my way with Pat and the Turbo Pup in tow.

Makes sense to me to sell tubing on one isle in plumbing and clamps in the garden or lumber department, doesn't it? Using the same logic I think WalMart should start selling boxer shorts in the shoe department and socks in automotive.

So any way, then the guy at the register fumbled around getting the price on the hose and in the process FAILED TO PUT IT IN THE BAG with the weed killer and other odds and ends we purchased and we didn't notice until we were back home and I started working.

So then we had to go BACK to Lowe's to retrieve my 60 cent hose.

Long story even longer...an hour and a half later my thirty minute shopping trip was complete and within another twenty minutes I had cut out the bad section of aluminum tubing and spliced in the new flexible section of tubing.

Both of the new clamped connections held for...OH...about 45 seconds before the one that is hardest to reach decided to blow apart.

Possessing the vast experience gained by opening the compressor housing earlier, the follow up repairs were completed again in less than five minutes with an extra bit of torque applied to all four hose clamps in the jury rigged temporary air passage.

I reassembled the housing and this time managed to blow up the entire top ring of the little cheep above ground pool before again having my air plumbing system suffer a rupture after about a minute and one half of operation.

The poor thing (the compressor) spent the night on the carport in it's feverish condition because I didn't have the patience to open it all back up again and by then it was near 90 degrees in the back yard and my face and head was melting in the sun.

I took the rest of the afternoon off and cooked a couple of my soon to be internationally famous pizzas for our guests and after the toddler and the Turbo Pup called a truce and sat down at the same coffee table everyone chowed down.

A few beers and a cigar later and I was done for the evening.

Today the Turbo Pup and I have the house to ourselves as Pat escorts the guests to that tourist hell known as Gatlinburg to do the Ripley's Aquarium and eat queer things like funnel cakes and buy trinkets you never knew you couldn't do without.

I'm going back to bed as soon as they leave...see y'all later...

Veni, Vidi, Vici Vamoose

Back From The Middle Of Nowhere


Ah yes...quaint yet rural Tennessee.

Ya gotta love it if you're from there or if you're retired and want to live on three acres in the mountains for the price of a half acre lot here in Knoxtown on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

Problem is that living in Wartburg and similar places (like where Mom lives in LA) causes you to have to drive 20 miles to find a Kroger or a Walmart, and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that unless the place is surrounded by water like our little Island on the Georgia Coast was.

On the construction front, my pancake air compressor crapped out on Sunday afternoon and I didn't diagnose the problem--a broken metal outlet tube--untill late yesterday.

I though I was going to be nailgunless until the parts arrived from Sears next Monday, but I've figured out how to do a short term fix with some more rubber tubing and a couple of hose clamps so it's off to Home Depot for parts and a million pounds of bagged play sand to put under and around the Turbo Pup's little 10'x30" above ground pool.

We had one of those last year with no structure and the inflatable ring around the top to keep the water in and I bought a new one on the internet for cheap to use this year with the old filter pump which we saved.

Meetings In The Morning

Construction In The Afternoon...


Anybody know where "Wartburg" is in Tennessee?

I'm going there this morning and I'll let you know once I find out.

Construction Completion?

Today's The Day...

Well, I'm happy to report that we've managed to make it though 24 continuous hours without a rain storm for the first time in nearly a week here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

I got four footings dug, concrete poured and elevations set yesterday along with a little more fencing installed, and today it looks like I can finish the oversize stairway and complete the fencing expansion...leaving only the most difficult part of the project on my Punch list.

That line item--taking out a window and cutting a large enough opening for a new exterior french door-- will have to wait until next weekend because we have family guests arriving on Monday for a week stay and I don't want to be doing sheetrock work and more importantly, making sheetrock dust with a toddler crawling around the place.

As usual I've managed to take a three or four day project and turn in into a multi-week epic saga/adventure but then again I'm working for FREE and it's my house and I don't see getting all lathered up in a hurry.

Rushing takes all the fun out of something I really do enjoy having the tools and skills to to on my own. I figure that I might as well do this kind of stuff while I still can because there's been periods of time in the past when I couldn't stand up long enough or have the strength and stamina to accomplish much of anything, and who knows what the future holds with my crappy legs and hypercoagulative blood.

That said, time to pour a giant insulated mug of Gatoraid and go make sawdust before it gets too hot outside...

It's Not Rainin'!!!!

Deck Construction Resumes...


I swear that it's rained every four to six hours for the past FIVE days here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

While the situation has lended itself well to sitting around doing nothing (something I've personally perfected in an earlier life), the moisture has reeked havoc with the deck construction schedule which was moving along smoothly until last Sunday.

I was starting to think I needed to start constructing a BOAT rather than a deck... or at least start considering using my new deck for a DOCK and go buy a boat.

Any way...I have a half dozen small concrete footers to pour to support the over sized step frameworks and even though the holes are only six inches deep I've been unable to get a reliable slice of weather to allow me to mix and place the high strength concrete and brick pavers needed for that part of the project.

It hasn't rained since midnight and now things have dried off enough for me to get out there and break a sweat diggin holes, and of course there are fence pickets to be installed also.

See y'all later...

The Dumbass With The Leaf Blower Lawn Maintenance Technician Stopped By Between Rain Storms

Disaster Somehow Averted...


NEWS FLASH:

Pat managed to incredibly keep the dude brandishing the leaf blower out of the carport this afternoon before I had to kill him with a piece of scrap deck lumber.

Now I can get back to my CAD drawings in peace.

Life is Good.

Let The Hysteria Begin

Sniveling Global Warming Weenies Rejoice


Well weather fans...just like last season (and many seasons in the past 100 years) the first tropical depression has formed in May rather than waiting until June 1st--the "Official" start of what has become known as "Hurricane Season."

Here's a look at the projected path, otherwise known here on the blog as "The Cone Of Death":



Ever since we launched a couple of TRIOS weather satellites into orbit back in the early 1960's we humans have become more and more pompous in our self regard for our ability to predict everything from hurricanes to hemorrhoids.

And the media and the ignorant masses that watch TV and read the paper today somehow have become convinced that with a few exceptions prior to 1960 (excluding the the well documented great storms in the Florida Keys and Galveston, Texas) that hurricanes didn't really occur that often and further...

that hurricanes today have been collaborating with the KKK and Carl Rove and George Bush and become racist evil forces deployed against poor people of color living on the Gulf and Atlantic coasts on an annual basis.

Like SUV's, these killer storms actually have a mind and will of their own and target areas where the innocent and the stupid reside without insurance and any means to transport themselves away from the water and out of the wind with anything less than three days notice.

So with this first storm on the map, I encourage you to sit back and relax and watch the media and the "government officials" pull out their same old tired cliches and warnings and advise and smear it all over the front pages of the newspapers and TV news programs...and of course we'll have a nice rehashing of stories about the Hurricane Katrina victims still living in Government trailers nearly 4 years later.

And of course my ever greying, ever balding head will rotate at orbital velocity and attempt to explode a half dozen times over the next 5 months.

And a GOOD time will be had by ALL, in spite of the threat posed by NATURE...

NOT GLOBAL WARMING.

Dammit

"Principals Put To Paper More Than Twenty Centuries Ago..."

Obamarama Continues To Prove He's A "Highly Edumacated Idiot"


So I'm sitting here this morning working on the final deck step drawings when President Obama's press conference started on FOX News.

I've forgotten the entire sentence (and I'll look it up later) but in his intro to the "blaa blaa blaa intro portion" talking about the daunting tasks presidents have in appointing Judges to the Supreme Court he uttered the words "[interpreting] Principals put to paper more than TWENTY CENTURIES ago..."

I think he meant to say Twenty DECADES, but based on his "57 state" campaign and other demonstrable lack of knowledge of facts...things like Memorial day is different from Veterans Day, I guess the lamestream media will give him a pass on this gaff too.

(PS. note the time on this posting and recognise that I can get ahead of the media with my reporting also once in a while...YOU HEARD THIS HERE FIRST.)

(PSS. Don't even get me started about the concept of the effect on our laws a Latino Liberal Woman with ten years of experience on the bench will have on the Supreme Court of the United By-God States of 'Merica...)


MORE... (11:27 AM)

Here's the text as published here: http://www.cqpolitics.com/wmspage.cfm?parm1=5&docID=news-000003125441

OBAMA: Thank you. Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you. Thank you.

Please, everybody, have a seat.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, I’m excited too.

(LAUGHTER)

Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.

So I don’t take this decision lightly. I’ve made it only after deep reflection and careful deliberation.

The Islamic Rage Boy Show

This Is Hilarious






Go over to the creators page... The Nose On Your Face and vote for your favorite video.



(And a hearty hat tip to Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the link.)

Progress

Construction & Cooking Moving Along...


Per fan/friend requests (that would be you Roy) and prior threats by your lovely and talented blogger, here's a look at the goings on here the past five days at the Turbo Pup Compound:

This first image is near the end of day one with all the fence post, support column, and plant holes done and one of two primary support beams ready to be lifted into place and lag bolted in...



Here's things at the end of day two with all the structural framing in place and squared up nice and plumb...



Saturday ended with the decking in place...


...and this one aggravating board sitting there about 2-1/2" too short:



I built all of the giant step frames and re-hung most of the fence panels before the rain set in last evening (including climbing on the roof to clean my gutters with my new extension ladder) but there are no photo's available of those antics.

Finally, here's my Butt seven pound Boston Butt after it has been seared on the outside and rubbed all over with my soon to be famous "Butt Rub" ready to go into the oven for about four hours at 250 degrees F...



Stop by with your fork about 5 PM if you will...

Rubbing My (Boston) Butt On The Holiday

Bar-B-Que In Celebration & In Memory...


Thus far I've failed to mention Memorial Day in any fashion than describing my deck construction efforts and my cooking for the day.

I guess it's only fitting that there is a day separate from Veterans' Day to recognize the members of our armed forces that served our country to protect our freedom and interests in military conflict and never made it back home alive.

A number of members of my own family have served in the military since the Civil War, but very few if any have been killed in combat.

Looking back starting in recent history, my cousins in mother's and father's family were mostly girls, and the boys including myself were too young to serve in Vietnam so we avoided any losses there.

My cousin Jim subsequently joined the Marine corps after Vietnam and became a helicopter pilot, serving tours of duty in Grenada, Lebanon, and some time during the first Persian Gulf war, and today is a successful lawyer and a Brigadier General in the Marine Corps Reserve.

One of my girl cousins on Mom's side has a genius husband who never did font line service but was a fighter pilot, the Flight Surgeon of the Air force in Washington DC, and today is also a General and is soon to retire as a successful Neuro Surgeon with the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL. ( I feel like a total dumbass sitting beside that guy...)

My cousin Jeff was an Army tank driver for a while with NATO forces in Germany back in the 1980's but never saw combat. Like me he probably has some interesting R&R stories to tell braving life and limb in watering holes in a foreign country.

Mom's family was also fortunate to send two of her brothers to Europe during WWII and have both of them avoid death or substantial injury during their long terms of duty.

My Uncle John was a tail and belly gunner on B-25 Mitchel low level bombers and HIS ENTIRE CREW managed to fly a couple of dozen missions without losing anything but airplanes. They all came home alive and several including Uncle John survive to this day.

Mom's father served in WWI in France including in the Argon Forrest as an Army infantryman and lost most of his hearing due to the damage done listening to Artillery fire while laying in a trench full of mud.

He came home to live another 63 years as the head of our 360 acre farm in southern Alabama.

His father--my Great Grandfather--served a number of years with the Confederate Forces' Army of the Mississippi and was severely wounded in the Battle of Perryville, Kentucky in October 1862.

His injuries caused his arm to be amputated and he was discharged from the hospital and the Army at the same time--having to resort to WALK HOME to the farm in Elba, Alabama at his own expense. (Imagine the liberal howls and the media hysteria today if the US military just turned you loose after cutting off your arm and deciding that you were no longer useful as a soldier?)

Family lore has it that no one in the family even recognized him in his ragged emaciated condition when he arrived home, but still he survived and ultimately recovered fully and lived a long life as a farmer...working a plow mule team with ONE ARM with the reigns wrapped around his neck or torso.

On Dad's side of the family tree things are a little more fuzzy beyond a couple of three generations to me because I grew up so far away from the coal fields of Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

I think we might have lost a few great uncles and great great uncles in all three of the wars but the names and details escape me even today.

I'm pretty sure my Great Grandfather Rogers didn't fight in the Civil War, and my Grandfather, my namesake Virgil Sr., was too young to fight in WWI. He was also given a deference for military service in WWII and the Korean War because of the importance of coal mining to the military effort and industrial production.

My Father was in ROTC in college and did four years in the Army going to flight school between the Korean War and Vietnam. Later he served as a civilian test pilot during Vietnam, thereby avoiding the bullets and land mines in the Asian rice patties but still risking his life and limb on every flight while proving concepts for secret airborne weaponry imaging systems and reconnaissance gathering devices which saved thousands if not tens of thousands of lives in the battlefield.

Both of my uncles on Dad's side of the family did time in the Army during Vietnam but their MOS's allowed them to stay stateside rather than deploying to where the fighting was.

And ME???

My lazy disrespectful butt volunteered and did two years of Navy reserve time back in the late 1970's after the hostilities had ended in Vietnam.

I risked life and limb on a frequent basis in saloons near the NAS in Pensacola, representing our ROTC unit in New Orleans at Mardi Gras, and for a short while on a Helicopter Carrier in the Philippines.

I don't know it was luck or the hand of God or what, but today I celebrate our military success and my family members' ability to survive and return home after their service. But just because our own family has been so lucky doesn't mean that I don't respect those who died and the family members who gather today to remember their loved ones.

Growing up during the Vietnam war in a town outside the gates of the Army's helicopter pilot training center at Ft. Rucker, Alabama caused me to know several dozen kids around me in school that lost fathers and/or brothers in the war effort.

My dad knew even more people personally who died in copter and plane crashes both overseas and on the test ranges at Ft. Rucker. I remember seeing a couple of young pilots at a 4th of July picnic at Ft. Rucker and hearing that they were dead within the very next month.

Things like that sort of stick with you when you can put a face with a name and a wife and a Kid's image with the news story...

...and it pisses me off when the warped religious fanatics and the sniveling booger eating anti-war pacifists bring their protests to funerals and military bases on holidays like today.

I wouldn't change places with anyone that's served in combat, but I damn sure appreciate every one of their efforts--live and dead--and hope that today's ceremonies give their families and friends some comfort and recognition for their sacrifice.

Now it's time to go check on my Butt (photos to follow...)

Obamanomics

Memorial Weekend Musings...


Well folks, the end of day three of the Turbo Pup Deck Construction Mobilization (TPDCM for short) finds us one board short of having a complete decking surface.

I know that it sounds singularly unspectacular to have taken an ENTIRE DAY to install less than 120 square feet of finished lumber, but as a matter of explanation let me defend my extended time expenditure on Memorial Weekend Saturday.

You see, in my infinite wisdom I decided to design my deck with a diagonal "herringbone" pattern rather than just screwing everything down nice and square and being done with it.

To make things even more complicated, I'm not building a simple square or rectangular deck to begin with. It has an 8' deep section connected to 10' deep and 12' deep sections by 45 degree angled transitions.

Thus the only "square" i.e. right angled cuts I made ended up being on these two short 45 degree runs...EVERYTHING else had to be individually hand fitted in position and then cut in place in one long run sliding the circular saw along a carefully placed piece of straight guide lumber.

And the "one board short"???

It was the one board which my AutoCAD drawings missed when predicting that I needed a 12' long piece of 2x4 rather than a 10' long section.

What is really sad is the board I have is only about 2-1/2" too short, but I'll have to either return it or use it later.

Speaking of 2x4's, did I mention that my "herringbone" pattern included alternating 2x4's and 2x6's rather than just plain old 5/4" "deck boards"? The alternating board arrangement on a 45 degree angle adds what I think is a nice visual pattern to my masterpiece.

So any way, after the Weather Nerds fooled me by predicting nice weather for a four or five day period, now this stupid low pressure system--actually a weak early season tropical depression--is coming to Knoxtown out of the Gulf of Mexico and it's supposed to rain most of the day today and possibly much of tomorrow so the stairway construction effort is now imperiled.

Looking at the local radar on the Internet I hope to sneak out early this morning and get two or three hours worth of sawing and nailing and screwing around done before the rain sets in. Time will tell...

In the cooking while multi-tasking department, I've got three racks of baby back Pork ribs and a 6 pound Boston Butt to finish thawing and get into giant pots of brine to sit overnight in anticipation of slow cooking all day Monday and serving to a half dozen hungry guests with my soon to be famous home made Kansas City style bar-b-que sauce.

Pat's tossing up a couple of different Cold Slaws and the Neighbors are bringing potato salad and the carport has a roof on it so I don't care if it's rain or shine...

I'm COOKING OUT on Monday.

Feel free to stop on by about 5 PM for some ribs and a pulled pork sandwich...

(Oh...and regarding my Obamanomics title this morning...

I almost forgot to mention this Letter to The Editor from a Dodge Dealer.)

Framework Installed...Concrete Poured

Arms And Back Starting To Feel Their Age...


About 3:30 PM yesterday we drug all the tools out of the yard and into the carport and wound up the extension cords and air compressor hoses, content with the knowledge that I was pretty much on schedule and the lumber quantities I ordered thus far had worked out exactly as planned.

The local lumber yard where my Neighbor Danny works delivered the #1 Kiln Dried Pressure Treated decking lumber right after lunch, so just as my pile of unused Home Depot boards were dwindling down to about a dozen, another pile of BEAUTIFUL lumber appeared for my use later this Saturday morning while installing the Deck and step surfaces.

For reference, #1 Kiln Dried Pressure Treated is the best darn natural wood product you can use for Deck construction here in the Southern US, and I felt like spending the extra 15% or 20% was worth the investment.

I know they have other options like Cedar and Redwood and of course the new man made composites like "TREX" but for a house in our price range in our neighborhood with the possibility of selling in the next 12 months I couldn't see spending three or four times as much on deck boards when Danny offered us a deal on the fancy Southern Yellow Pine.

Having the basic structural framework in place just makes me wish we could afford to build the entire deck in one mobilization because so much of the area is taken up with the oversized 5' x 15" exit step out of the house and the three similar sized steps down to the yard.

The good news is that there is still room for two lounge chairs or a table and four chairs for dining and most importantly...Missy the Turbo Pup will finally be able to let herself in and out of the house through her new pet door to sun herself and do her "business" without one of us having to escort her on her leash.

Truth be told, the real estate improvement angle almost takes a back seat to the ability to let our little Turbo Pup gain access to the yard so she can be a Hound Dog instead of just a glorified House Dog.

I guess now it's time to do some as built CAD drawing modifications, spread on some more Bengay Ointment, and catch a few more hours sleep before making more sawdust.

Wish us luck...if you will...

I've Had It Up To Here...

Pointing To The Top Of My Ever Greying, Ever Balding Head...


Forget Rasmussen and Gallup and all of the other formal Political "Opinion" polls...

I'm taking my own poll this morning, and I want to know how many people out there that watch TV after 3:30 AM or 4:00 AM would rather see something like this on their screen:



rather than the idiots hawking the "Male enhancements" and the "AB rockets" and the "Real Estate Whatevers" and the "Cash flow" ads.

Back in the day we said that there was nothing on after midnight.

Today, even with cable, I say that there's still basically nothing "on" between 3 AM and 6 AM in spite of paying 50 bucks a month for the service.

Man Wielding Earth Auger Attacks Leaf Blower Operator

Progress None The Less...


So we wandered back over to Home Depot after their courteous Driver dropped off a few thousand Tons Pounds of Pressure Treated Lumber this morning for the purpose of purchasing and borrowing what I call "Tools of Torture."

The First item was what is known as a "concrete" or "masonry" drill bit.

The latest item wasn't just any ordinary "concrete" or "masonry" bit... because I already own a fairly large assortment of those.

You see, since my house has a brick exterior finish on all four sides, resting against a wood frame sitting on a cinder block basement structure, and because the design elevation of my deck places it only 28" off the ground where the cinder blocks also reside, I needed a "concrete" or "masonry" bit...

A BIT SLIGHTLY OVER A FOOT LONG AND 5/8" IN DIAMETER.

And I was going to have to hold on to my Ryobi Hammer Drill while it punched its way through the rear wall of my house ...

SIX TIMES.

I found the expensive thirty four dollar 18" version at first, but since I didn't think even my expansive and ever growing collection of tools needed that much funding focused in such a narrow area of home improvement capability, I settled for the 13" version costing $12.

(By the way, it punched all six holes in the wall in less than 20 minutes with about 1/8" of length to spare...talk about close tolerances...)

The second item I needed I'd already owned twice before and worn out on the never ending investment property renovation in Brunswick a couple of years ago.

A Diamond Tipped "concrete" or "Masonry" saw blade designed to fit your "Skill Saw."

My recommendation is to not do this operation using your regular "Skill Saw"...buy the cheapest "Skill Saw" you can find (be it Craftsman or Ryobi" or whatever brand) and then cut your "concrete" or "masonry" and then throw the blade along with the saw in the Dumpster when you're finished because neither will be worth anything after thirty minutes to an hour spent cutting "concrete" or "Masonry" in this manner.

Any way...they only had one blade in stock which would fit my "Skill Saw" and it was clear that the package had been opened and the idiots at the Home Depot return desk had let some ingrate not only return the blade in the open package, but the blade was clearly used and the inner "insert" or "knockout" which allowed the blade to fit on various sized saw mandrels was missing.

I took a pass on that Item (see my earlier posting on home improvement store return counters.)

Finally, it was back over to the "Tool Rental" counter where Home Depot keeps all their really expensive, dangerous stuff like pressure washers, wood floor sanders, gasoline powered "concrete" or "masonry" saws, ACME head chopper-offers, and machine guns.

I needed what they laughingly call a "One Man Auger."

I was already afraid of the machine even as I asked the clerk to allow me to rent it for their minimum time period--Four Hours--because I had rented one before about this time last year when we were first installing the fence around the Turbo Pup Compund.

My point is that I'm fairly certain that if 99% of the men of my age were to actually rent one of these machines, drove home killing 15 minutes of the allotted time, and proceeded to try to hang on to it solo (remember it's a "one man" auger") while it was in operation for the entire remaining 3-1/2 hours (allowing time to return it to the HD Rental Counter) that the return trip would involve fire trucks, paramedics, and an ambulance.

I kept my "One Man Auger" for about three hours., and part of the time it was really a "one man and one woman and one Turbo Pup auger because that's what it takes to keep it under control while drilling through eastern Tennessee's dense red clay.

I ended up holding on to my "One Man Auger" for probably ONE HOUR OF THAT TOTAL TIME.

The rest of the time was spent with me sitting in a chair in the shade while I let the "One Man Auger" bake on its side on the grass or dirt in the sun.

In summary, my tools kicked my butt today, but I got all of the "one Man Augering" and "Hammer Drilling" completed by 3 PM and three new fence posts and two new deck structure posts are happily sitting in 6" diameter, 24" deep holes as I write.

In a fit of insanity I ran around the yard drilling another three or four dozen 8" deep holes for future use to plant new bulbs and Azaleas and other stuff in but that we can't afford the time or expense to worry about within the next month.

Since I had the "One Man Auger" in my hands I figured a few extra blisters and a few more minutes of torment and fatigue out of my FOUR HOUR RENTAL couldn't hurt (much.)

I guess that I have to admit that things went pretty smoothly all and all until our substitute idiot with a leaf blower "lawn maintenance technician" showed up in the middle of the proceedings and wanted to mow my grass for the third time in fourteen days.

I relented and allowed him to cut just the front yard for a reduced price, thinking that the deal would keep him and his lawn tools out of my construction area and his flying leaf blower dust and debris off my car and carport.

I WAS WRONG....

I looked up in the middle of cutting the tops on some decorative fence posts and the idiot with a leaf blower "lawn maintenance technician" was happily blowing crap all over the Chrysler 300 sitting out of the way at the top of the driveway...

WITH ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN.

If I hadn't already returned that "One Man Auger" I'd have drilled that guy a couple of new super sized bodily orifices allowing him to use the restroom once a year rather than whatever schedule he currently enjoys.

Is it just me?

Lumber On Truck

Driveway Clear (For Time Being)...


Home Depot just called threatening to have my structural framing lumber here by 9AM.

I had to get up and get dressed unexpectedly--having been promised sometime today before dinnertime being their contractual obligation.

I guess I have to stop talking and writing about it and go auger new fence post and footing holes this morning and make sawdust this afternoon.

The #1 Kiln Dried pressure treated decking arrives tomorrow.

It's probably too much to expect to have the framework installed but I'm gonna try.

I could accomplish that sort of feet feat 20 years ago...