Crime Scene Chili Photos

Visual Evidence As Promised...


I'm pleased to report that we made it back to Knoxtown on Sunday after an uneventful 8 hour ride.

Now after drinks & dinner and sorting out the mail, I figured that I'd post some stuff here showing everyone what we've been up to the past five days.

Here's a view of the pile of raw materials after being dumped out on the ground at the Event Venue about 6:30 AM Saturday morning (click on any of the photos to enlarge).

And here we are with the tent set up, all of the food delivered, and the "Chili Shack" erection well under way.



All the roof framing up, and just a few more skins to install...that's EIGHT GALLONS of rendered pork stock there on the table in the big plastic containers.



The finished product, with decorations in place ready to serve our Chili...



There's Little Missy the Turbo Pup standing guard duty back behind the tent.

General crowd pictures...as you see the place was PACKED...and they started clammoring to be fed at 11 AM although the official start time and first judging sample wasn't supposed to happen until 11:30...





My 15 gallon chili pot somewhere about 12:15...we were in panic mode because we were supposed to serve until 2 PM but we ran out at 1:15...



The Turbo Pup again, sitting in the shade, looking for someone to give a good barking to...



A look behind the scenes at the cooking area and tent...notice the blue insulation board lables on the back side of the panels...

More crowd photos looking from inside the serving area in our Chili Shack. We were only one of three teams that actually did something besides tents and tables with banners/signs...





The unofficial estimate was a little over 2000 tickets sold.





Pat and John and our friend Walt yucking it up and handing out Green Butt Chili...



And the end of the day about 4 PM with everything loaded back in and on John's Explorer ready to head back to the Blackwater Grill...



And here's a look at the Guys and the Booth that beat us again this year...





Go figure...

Even More Crap What Pisses Me Off This Morning

Imperial Federal Government Assholes Politicians Gone Wild...


I swear to God, Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that we need to get together and steal a B-52 and Nuke the capitol mall in Washington DC with my latest invention--"The Rogers' Positronic Dirty Rat Bastard Tax & Spend Liberal Seeking Smart Bomb."

I call it the RPDRBTSLSSB for short...and looking at that acronym someone might like to buy a vowel...Alex...

Or maybe we should just get up a posse and go round up virtually everyone in the national elected political structure, Democrat and Republican, and gift wrap them each in their own burlap sacks with a couple of used bowling balls and tie the package up and toss the whole lot of them into the Potomac River.

Why, you might ask?

(and if you're with the CIA or FBI or other law enforcement agency read my entire blog before you put me on the no-fly list or come knocking on my door...I tend to write sort of over the top, in an absurd and obvious metaforical/silly ass harmless stupid Redneck manner here on this blog)

Because of crap like the stuff going on in this News story:

Newly anointed House Ways and Means Chairman Sander Levin (D-Mich.) repaid a Maryland property-tax credit Friday that he should not have received, his office confirmed.

Levin, who owns a home in Chevy Chase, Md., received a $690 credit on his most recent property tax bill, the result of Montgomery County program that provided one-time credits to residential property owners in the 2009-10 tax year.

...snip...

Levin replaced Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-N.Y.) at the Ways and Means Committee helm this week after pending ethics investigations forced Rangel to step down from the post.

The ethics committee admonished Rangel in February for taking part in two trips to the Caribbean that violated House rules, citing his staff’s knowledge that the trips received prohibited corporate funding.

The Committee on Standards of Official Conduct, commonly known as the ethics panel, is also still reviewing Rangel’s personal finances under an investigation opened in September 2008.

That review includes Rangel’s failure to report rental income from a Dominican beach house; his lease of three rent-controlled apartments in his district; his use of House parking facilities for long-term vehicle storage; personal assets he failed to report on financial disclosures; and his fundraising efforts for a City College of New York facility named in his honor. Rangel has denied any wrongdoing.

Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.), the second-ranking Ways and Means Committee member who was passed over for the chairmanship, also recently faced an ethics committee review of his Maryland home.

The way I would handle things is this simple.

Just ask the question: "Will the person on the finance committee who/whom (I can never get that right) has filed and paid their taxes correctly please stand up, and everybody else run to the restroom or take a smoke break?"

Notice I don't use the word "persons" intentionally?

That is because I bet that there's a good chance that you'd be looking at an empty room, except possibly a couple of Aids or Secretaries Administrative Assistants or Monaca Lewinskies Interns.

Right?

You see, it just pisses me of when the same elected idiots which keep getting appointed further up the government food chain to the Chairmanships/Chairwoman-manships and that think nothing of jumping my Federal income tax rates 3 to 5% or more in the next couple of years...and at the same time can cavalierly indicate to "working families" and the "disenfranchised" earned income credit whores that I owe them $5000 of my money in the form of a "Capitol Gains" tax for taking the risk of buying real estate with CASH...CASH MONEY I already paid income tax on when I earned it and managed to keep some of it...

(taking a deep breath here boss...)

yet these idiots, men and women who are paid $174,000 each year for their so-called "service" in the US Senate and House (and get an automatic raise each year unless they as a group vote against it,) are constantly over and Over and OVER...and over and over and over and over and under and over.... caught and eventually embarrassed into having to belatedly pay back stupid little itty bitty sums like $690 when their finances and taxes come under the microscope of the national lamestream media--a media which willingly turns a blind eye as often as is possible if you happen to have a "(D)" beside your name on the election ballot.

They want to pass laws and spend money and tax me and you, yet they try to get away with silly, stupid little omissions like that and I bet you $10 that this same circumstance of "omissions" is almost across the board with these elitist bastards/bitches.

The way I see things, and based on some negative personal experience from my own past in the form of innocent, ignorant mistakes on various and sundry local and state and federal tax "issues"...

I would never try to get away with silly crap like scamming the Property Tax "Homestead Exemption" or any one of the other intrusive, bullshit taxes the elected geniuses levy on my ever greying, ever balding head and wallet.

It just isn't worth it if there isn't at least five or six figures behind the dollar sign (that would mean $10,000 to something over $100,000 for those of you that went to college at the Universities of Tennessee or Georgia.)

Yet it seems to me that almost EVERY SINGLE TIME someone gets elected or appointed to anything from the title of "Presidential Dog Washer" to "Head Ho' What Run the House" they have to go digging into the file cabinets in their fifth or sixth bedroom or make calls to their accountant in NYC and get a bottle of "Whiteout" or an eraser and smudge their way back into compliance with INCOME TAX LAWS...

"laws" which they insist on foisting on the rest of us working stiffs without a bit of regard for the amount of effort it takes to comply with their legalized robbery money grubbing political pandering BS.

I've had it up to here People (pointing to the top of the aforementioned ever greying ever balding head), and I'm tired of the Government looking to me as a slave and a source of ever increasing "Income," and I'm tired of other people (but not necessarily YOU there reading this blog if you carry your own financial freight) looking to the Imperial By-God Federal Government of the United States of 'Merica as a SOURCE of their own income and benefits.

...taking a couple more breaths here...

OK, 'nuff said I guess...I have to go to bed now in anticipation of enduring 8 hours on the intestate highway system...something I gladly pay my taxes for in order to keep it maintained, but otherwise I want everyone to just get the hell out... Mr./Mrs./Transgendered Politician/Tax Collector, and leave me and my girl and my dog and my wallet ALONE...

Is that too much to ask?

You're dismissed then...And that will be all...for now...

We Ran Out Of Chili

Can You Say...MOB?


Sorry I didn't write anything earlier, but I was absolutely dead when we got back from the Chili Cookoff after being awake since 1 AM

I ended up passing out falling asleep in the middle of changing clothes for dinner...which I'm just now warming back up as the other guests are leaving...I hear the microwave beeping...hang on...

The good news is we pounded out 15 gallons of the "Jamaican me Cajun Green Butt Chili" in the allotted time, but (but not butt) the bad news is not enough of the locals and tourists were impressed with a pork based chili to net us any of the tasting prizes.

And the Chili Shack looked great...photos to follow when I get back to my own computers on Sunday...but the same team that beat us last year with their booth did another good one this year and walked away with the "Best Theme" prize.

Otherwise the event was a HUGE roaring success with a record attendance of over 2000 people showing up, and with only 27 teams this year everyone ran out of chili before the 2 PM cut off time.

Even though we made about 15 gallons...three gallons over the mandated 12 gallon quanty..we were actually out of the Green Butt Chili by 1:15 and had to stand there and apologize to people that still had tickets and were voting for the "Peoples' Choice" prizes.

Lesson learned...

John invited me back to cook again next year and we agreed that we'd probably go back toward a traditional top round beef based chili with red beans and give up making white chili from here on out in an event were everyone else's chili looked almost identical.

All and all, in the end we had a LARGE time and it's important to not miss the concept that the prizes are secondary to raising money for local charaties.

Time to go read the internet news and catch up on my fellow bloggers now, y'all have a LOVELY balance of the weekend and I'll report back in once we get through vibrating our way up the interstate to Knoxtown.

It's All Over But (But Not Butt) The Shouting

Massive Quantities Of Chili Ensue...

So we swept up the sawdust and other trash and stacked up all of the prefabricated and painted wood and foam panels and skeleton parts about 4 PM yesterday (I was too busy to take pictures.)

After working all day again like a Madman myself, with John and Pat wielding paintbrushes and the Turbo Pup standing guard over the proceedings, we then ran home and showered and cleaned up and came BACK to the restaurant with our housing hosts, Bruce and Ski, and John then fed us a feast fit for a king.

I had a beef tenderloin that had to have weighed 3/4's of a pound...the Turbo Pup got to finish it when we tumbled and stumbled back home, partially as a reward for her Sentry Duties but mainly just because she's spoiled rotten.

Now I've had a few hours sleep and had time to answer a bunch of business related e-mails...we landed another order during my absence from the office...and after a little more Googling and news reading I'm going to catch another few hours of sleep and then get up and be back at the Blackwater Grill at 6 AM ready to make two or three trips over to the scene of the crime Chili Cookoff venue.

I forgot to mention that we drew numbers at the "Captains Meeting" last night and we managed to get an excellent booth location, about twenty feet from where we were last year, right across the common area from where my Buddy Kimbo's band the "StringRays" will be playing music all day.

I just ran the numbers in my head and with 25 teams (down from 32 last year) cooking at least 12 gallons of chili each (we're doing about 15 gallons,) there will be THREE HUNDRED GALLONS OF CHILI cooked and consumed on St. Simons Island in the next 12 hours.

I swear that you can't pay enough money to buy stuff and do things that's this much fun, but still I have to be going now and get ready to try to win....

(drum roll please...)

People's Choice (First or at least Second Place)
Most Unusual Chili
Best Booth/Theme
Best overall Chili--By the Judges

Even if we just end up coming away tired with nothing but an empty chili pot the day will have been a success, because all of the proceeds from the entry fees and tasting tickets go to local charities.

Wish us luck...if you will...and Regards Y'all...

T-Minus One Day And Counting

Trying To Stay Cool Here Boss...


OK, ok, Ok OKAY...I admit it...

I can't leave "Good Enough" alone...things went like this since I started construction yesterday on the "Jamaican Me Cajun Green Butt Chili Shack."

My chili cooking partner John and I met for breakfast at the local Huddle House, an Island "Institution" since a place called "Poor Richard's" closed down about a dozen years ago, ran to Ace Hardware and bought funky pastel colored blue and yellow and pink paint, did the local Island lumber yard for sticks of wood and slabs of foam sheeting, and by 11 AM I was making sawdust on the back deck of the restaurant.

My friend Jamie, the head chef over there at Blackwater Grill, already had 80 pounds of Boston Butt cooked down to where it was falling apart, and the resulting 8 GALLONS of stock from the cooking was cooled and skimmed and de-greased so I was confident that what I was looking at was basically a construction project for Thursday and Friday before putting the Chili Shack and the final "Green Butt" Chili concoction together on site at the "Rotary Red Hot Chili Cookoff" on Saturday morning.

Then as is usual, me having spent months drawing hand sketches and twenty five pages of AutoCAD drawings, once again I couldn't help starting to improvise here and there with some things that caused me to end up using up an hour and one half of unplanned time thinking about and revising my sketches, and then in the end cutting up and running out of lumber before I had the entire framework put together.

And we ended up not smearing a single ounce of paint on anything by the end of the day either.

At least Pat and the Turbo Pup got to act like they were on VACATION, but all I did was look at the marsh behind the restaurant deck and stumble around tripping over my power cords in full blown panic mode by 3 PM.

So any way, after spending time re-planning and regrouping I'm getting an early start this morning by going BACK to Ace Hardware for a few items and BACK to the Lumber Yard for some more boards.

Then after giving me a head start making more sawdust John and Pat are showing up about 11 AM to begin smearing the base coat of paint on the parts of the structure I have finished.

Then this afternoon I will come back across everything with a roller or paint brush doing details and highlights and generally trying to make things look like an old weathered beach bar/"Tiki Hut."

And even though the process will possibly take most of the day, I know that we'll be finished and can proudly use whatever we have as a finished product Saturday morning, because most of the teams just set up a portable canopy tent and hang up a sign and slop chili around for three or four hours.

I MIGHT actually make it to the beach for a few minutes over the next two days, but then again I MIGHT NOT.

After all, I came down here this week to cook chili, and everything else is a bonus.

How do you say that in Latin?

Vedi, Veni Vici?

Virgil Freakin' Crazi?

OK, I give up...I'm taking ideas if you have any...

Coastal Induced Coma

Just Report Me "Missing"...


Well, we made it... nearly 8 hours and 550 miles later.

We delayed our departure a few hours yesterday morning, for what turned out to be no good reason, because the stupid weather and news people were yapping about Chattanooga getting SEVEN INCHES of snow and our path between Knoxtown and the Georgia Coast intersected with that area on the interstate and we didn't want to be fighting with tractor trailers while things might be below freezing.

Thus we arrived about sunset and missed happy hour and had to go straight into dinner mode with our Friends Bruce and Ski.

I swear I feel fifteen or twenty years younger when we turn left off US 17 and start driving east across the marsh and we can see the bridge over the Inter coastal Waterway and the Island on the horizon spanning north...all eleven miles worth...and Jekyll Island south of the ship channel and St. Simons Sound.

It was nearly 60 degrees outside and we had the windows down in the car on the way across the creeks and marshes and the Frederica River.

Even the Turbo Pup seemed to really understand where she was going.

I wish everyone could have the opportunity to find somewhere like this that they really, Really, REALLY love being at/in. And I know many others do, but so many people don't because they either have no choice of where they're born or where they live or else they're just afraid to step out into the world and seize the moment and make a change in their existence and lifestyle.

We've done it before and I hope to be able to move back here permanently in 2011...only time will tell.

Some people might consider me to be a bit unreliable or distracted or unconventional, but based on what I've seen and done over the past fifty years I say that looking at things from my own life perspective, tempered with my personal near-death experiences over the past twenty years, that I've struck a pretty reasonable balance between "shoulder to the plow"..."nose to the grindstone" and my own "Devil May Care" philosophy.

And tomorrow at 9:30 AM I get my first look at my 80 plus pounds of cooked Boston Butts, greet my friend John Howton, and I get to see the components of last years "Bayou Chili Shack". And after a trip to Home Depot for paint and foam board and some lumber I'm going to spend three days doing EXACTLY what I would rather be doing...something that most likely can't be done anywhere else in the world on March 4th, 2010...except on our Little Island.

Wish us luck...if you will...and photos to follow...Y'all...

If The Spices Don't Get You...

The Static Electricity Will

I have to warn everybody that there's all kinds of crazy stuff going on here in the wee hours of the morning at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the mighty Tennessee River...so it's best you keep your distance...

For instance, I just had to put together this pile of stuff in support of this weekend's exercises:



That would be a picture of what I technically call "Spice Blast #1", a mixture of the following ingredients...and it's only ONE HALF of the seasonings going into 15 gallons of my soon to be intergalactically famous Chili...

There's 7-1/2 Table spoons each of:

Cayenne pepper
Plain old Kroger Brand Chili Powder
Fancy "Pendries" brand Cumin from Texas
Garlic Powder
Dried Onion Flakes
Fancy "Pendries" Brand Smoked Spanish Paprika (the dark red color you see there on top)

Now all of that mixture is sealed up in a container in preparation of the drive later this morning to the Georgia Coast, and there's another container containing almost as much similar stuff, but I'd have to kill you if I told you what there is in that mix before we cook on Saturday (once we win or lose I'll publish the details.)

Meanwhile, I have to report that stuff like this was going on in my living room last night...



That would be our little Missy the Turbo Pup taking a break after I wallowed her around on her blanket and she got a bad case of "static head".

She's ready to go to the BEACH....and so's her Dad...

Snow Again In East Tennessee

Trip To The Potty




The good news is that tomorrow afternoon the Turbo Pup's footprints will be on the Beach!!

Top Ten Things You Never Want To See On a Menu

Sorry...I'm Getting A Little Crazy Due To Sleep Deprivation...


Ok, ok, OK...I admit that I made this list up myself in about five minutes while reading about food safety this morning. I was inspired because some of the articles are so incredibly stupid...telling people simple stuff like to wash their hands and warning people with deadly incurable diseases to stay out of the kitchen and stuff...

Any way, here goes...my top ten list of things I never want to see listed on a restaurant menu:


1. Seeping Abscess Sauce

2. Sauteed Festering Fistula

3. Rendered Glandular Secretions

4. Ovarian Ham Omelet

(Tie) Thinly sliced Post-partum Depressions

5. Phlegm Flan

6. Renal Retinas in Cataract Shiitaki Au Jus

7. Braised Hemorrhagic Hysterectomies

8. Gelatinous Genitalia Gelatin

9. Compounded Corpuscular Butter

10. Vienna Sausage & Vegetable Vasectomy Medley

(I left out "grilled testicular rectalosis" which came in a close #11 in the polling.)


OK, everybody issue a collective Eeeeewwwwwwwuuuuuuuu!

But still, imagine a menu with those words on it somewhere in...I don't know...San Francisco or Berkley...could happen?

My PLC Is Haunted

I'm Calling In Technical Support...


I'm still not quite sure what's going on, but I've got this one IR sensor that, if it didn't cost nearly $400, I'd have already thrown out in the driveway and run over it with the car a couple of times in a screaming conniption fit.

The stupid thing is programmable about a zillion different ways, but all I want is for it to look at something that's between the range of 32 degrees F and 300 degrees and tell my software when it sees something out of range (moving past in the plant on a conveyor at about 5 bottles per second) and trigger a relay contact.

Simple stuff like this happens all the time every day in control panels in manufacturing plants all around the world....

but not in my basement so far in the past week.

I set the thing up, verify the settings, unhook it from my Laptop, hook it to the PLC panel, and it keeps losing it's silly little electronic mind.

WTF?

I'm giving things until the end of the day, then I'm calling in a consultant I guess.

Someone like this guy may be able to help me...

Please call if you know anyone that's local or you can give me a reference so I can fly them in for a consultation...

Down To The "Wire(ing)"

Self Imposed Fire Drills and "Stuff"...


So I finally got the old HP laptop and my custom PLC panel and both Micro Epsilon non-contact IR sensors back into the same room--my shop--in the basement on my test bench last night after dinner and a nap.

I figured I'd fool around tonight for a couple of hours with some final software modifications and fine tune the instruction manual wording, and then toss everything into cardboard and bubble wrap and hit Fed EX tomorrow afternoon.

If you agree with my optimistic summary of my progress, you'd be...

W R O N G!!!

As of about 15 minutes ago I've got one Infrared sensor that's losing its proverbial mind with it's 0-10 volt DC output jumping all over the place on the chart looking at exactly the same spot in the shop as the other sensor which is working fine.

It did the same thing a few weeks ago before I shipped the first panel to Kansas City, so I replaced it with another sensor on that panel, and when I hooked it back up on this system which is ultimately headed to Maryland...it calmed down some and I thought I was going to be able to fine tune the programmable outputs to something usable.

Now I don't know, and I only have about 48 hours to get things straightened out.

Stuff like this drives me crazy, but if I'm an expert at anything in life it's being guilty of severe but somehow well intended procrastination...just ask my family and friends and ex-wives/girlfriends.

I tend to get ahead on a project and get all pompous and confident, and then I end up fooling around doing other non essential crap and wake up in the end running in circles screaming like my head is on fire.

Thus, today and tomorrow are going to be days of that sort, so if you don't hear from me just go outside and look on the horizon toward Knoxville, Tennessee...or possibly watch the Weather Channel or Fox NEWS and see if there is some instance of some middle aged guy spontaneously bursting into flame.

Why do I continue to do this to myself???

I'm supposed to be lounging around getting ready to cook massive quantities of Chili...you know?

OK, time for another nap now because I have to get going before 10 AM if I'm going to get help from the IR sensor customer support people and not risk bursting a blood vessel in the process.

Regards Y'all...

We Might All Be Going To Hell In A Basket...

But At Least I'M Enjoying The Ride!!!


First of all...let me offer a hearty "I told you so"...

I direct that commentary toward those of you who read my blog posting from EARLY Saturday morning and then ended up wincing your way along with me through the mindless, never ending, meaningless coverage of the the Chilean earthquake and "potential Tsunamis" on every TV channel including CNN and FOX News yesterday.

By 8 AM Saturday morning anyone with any sense knew that the Tsunami threat was pretty much over based on what happened on the northern coasts of South and Central America and the Mexican Baja Pensula, but the "TV News Networks" insisted on holding out...praying for a disaster...and televising a mind numbing, second by second, "live-on-the-scene" report from Hawaii of people standing around babbling and waiting for a four foot wave to arrive on the scene.

I'd rather spend my time watching important things like paint drying and Pizza dough rising...

and I, personally, am ready to buy an expensive ticket, go get on an airplane and set about to find Hernando Revolver Geraldo Riveria and sneak up on him and strangle him to death with his own microphone cord.

There's probably a Nobel Prize or an Emmy or some kind of award available for anyone that can save the TV viewing public from the guy...

I'm sorry folks, but that SOB gets on my last nerve every time I see his stupid moustached face on TV because he just can't freakin' shut up after telling you what has or will happen on/in any given "news story."

Gretta Van Sustren runs a close second yapping away about Natalie Holloway and the other "missing/murdered/abused woman/child du joure" but I respect women enough to not threaten to lay a hand on her although I could find myself yelling at her to give the story a rest every now and then.

You know?

But Hernando Geraldo is different...

the man just bothers me with his style including things like the famous empty Al Capone's vault episode back in 1986:



So any way, I'm having a hard time staying focused this morning, having basically wasted Saturday doing nothing but going last minute grocery shopping for things we need to drag with us down to the Chili cookoff this week (check out Goya Recaito Cilantro Cooking Base) and cooking a giant portion of my soon to be internationally famous Horseradish crusted pork tenderloin for dinner with our neighbors.

On the professional front, the good news is that I got the HP laptop fired back up with the arrival of a new AC adapter via Fed Ex this morning, so I'm back in the PLC programming business in time to meet the deadline. Unfortunately now the battery has also been proven to be a casualty of the AC supply malfunction also but I can live without it for the time being and as long as I have 110 power my life will go on uninterrupted.

All that said, I absolutely have to get my head focused on finishing the Phase II PLC programming and build another four pneumatic valves...preferably today and Monday, because I don't want to be answering the phone and worrying about that kind of stuff while out of town trying to cook Chili and sit around the pool and on the beach.

It's tough being me, but I made my bed...and I guess I have to lie in it now...

A Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On

Somebody Tell Owl Gore To Sit His Giant Butt Down...


So I'm hanging out here early this morning, Googling around for good deals on replacement batteries and a new hard drive for my back-up lap top computer with one eyeball and watching re-runs of Glenn Beck with the other on Fox News.

Then just now a "Fox News Alert" comes across my TV window on the computer talking about an 8.5 Magnitude earthquake offshore of Chile in South America about 1:30 AM this morning.

This following a 7.0 magnitude quake off Japan a few hours earlier in the evening on the other side of the the Pacific Ring of Fire.

Of course in usual fashion the idiot news people have to say the words "there are [as yet] no reports of damage, injury, or deaths."

Another report said that "the extent of damages and injury are unclear."

WTF?

If the details are "unclear", why don't the news morons just say "we don't know" or better yet...just say "there's been an earthquake, preliminarily estimated to be of magnitude 8.5, off the coast of Chili"?

"We'll get back to you when the sun rises and we actually know the extent of the damage."?

Hang on...just now at 3:04 AM they're updating the magnitude to 8.8 on the Richter scale and saying they have Tsunami warnings out from Central America to Antarctica.

So any way, my point this morning is this...

Get over it...there's nothing that we can do but watch the news organizations and "news people" spaz out and hyperventilate...

That would be because the earth has been vibrating like hell for how ever may thousands or millions or billions of years your religion (or the lack thereof) tells you it's been around.

I'm sorry as heck for everyone injured, killed, and suffering with damaged property, but at the same time I'm dreading the next week onslaught of news coverage.

Isn't it amazing that the Haiti story has virtually disappeared off the front pages of newspapers and your TV screen?

It's not that they are still not digging up dead people in the Caribbean and people aren't still starving and peeing and pooping in the bushes outside due to a lack of facilities, it's just that the news consuming public...particularly so called AMERICANS...and the idiots in the news business have no real interest in presenting quality information...they're interested in headlines and SENSATIONALISM.

So now, in the interest of extending to you my own personal, infinite internal database of obscure knowledge most people never care about or bother to learn (because they usually have better things to do...) I offer these tidbits regarding earthquake history here in the Western Hemisphere and the US specifically.

First of all...If I lived on the West Coast of the US, based on what I've been seeing going on on the Geological Service Website, I'd be packing my bags and moving the hell out...because if the "wild fires" and mudslides haven't gotten to you thus far, I say that the states sitting on the fault lines...anywhere between San Diego and the Canadian line...are due to shake harder than hell in the next year.

Think about it...the last real earthquake was in what ...1987 in San Diego during the World Series and the Northridge Quake in 1994?

Earthquakes don't care who is President.

Earthquakes don't care what Owl Gore says about "Global Warming."

Earthquakes just happen...earthquakes just ARE...earthquakes are the result of the realities of living on a planet that is not a "static structure."

Almost everyone seems to forget that the earth is rotating on it's axis at a rate of 1,041 miles per hour.

Add to that the fact that the earth is flying through space in it's orbit around the sun at a rate of...ready??

...about 67,000 miles per hour.

Then add the un-symmetrical gravitational pull of our moon, which is spinning around the Earth at a rate of a little more than 2,200 miles per hour.

Add all of that to the realization that we're all living on the outer thin skin...the so called "Crust" of the Earth...under which there is a blazing hot, 780 mile diameter, 9,800 degree core cooking the crap out of everything it comes in contact with...i.e. the source of volcano magma...and you can understand why things might just be a little bit unstable up here in spite of the best efforts of Obama and the UN and the patchouli stinking, Kumbaya singing, Barbara Streisand loving, tree hugging liberal/progressive Democrats.

Seriously Folks, I'm not a geologist or seismologist...but I could play one on TV...and I'm real concerned about the trend I'm seeing in the frequency of significant seismological "events" around the globe. There's nothing we can do about it, but if I lived in couple of areas here in the US I would be thinking about my own personal safety and that of my family and property.

Everyone knows about California, but having been in the business of designing significant industrial structures for much of the past 30 years I happen to know about and have written about here previously the areas in the New Madrid Fault Line in the central US suffering an a catastrophic earthquake in 1812 along the Mississippi River basin and the 1886 Magnitude 7.3 earthquake which struck in of all places, Charleston, South Carolina.

Think about it with me for a minute...CHARLESTON, SC?

EARTHQUAKE?

(FOX News UPDATE...now they say there is definitely a Tsunami wave traveling along the South American Coast, with a travel time to Southern California of over ten hours...)

I thought FEMA spent all of their time in Charleston, South Carolina worrying about Hurricanes.

OK Folks...stay calm...don't get all crazy and out of sorts...

I say forget the GOVERNMENT...forget FEMA...watch the news, go to the store, keep your supplies in order and your powder dry.

Life and reality is going to come to your front door regardless of who you vote for...

...and when something bad happens, I say it's your own fault if you aren't prepared.

Laptop Woes

My Old Friend Is At The Doctor In The Shop...


I sorry to report that I finally had to drag my old HP Laptop Computer over to the computer shop yesterday.

I've had it so long (October 2006) it's like my alter-ego...and with each day creeping toward full blow Alzheimer's it serves more and more like part of my brain because it has so much stuff in it.

I paid near $2000 for it back then and used it as my primary computer until I bought the HP server PC, and it has been everywhere from Chicago to Key West to Pennsylvania to Kansas City and most places in between with me and never once let me down, so I finally was forced this week to give it a break and let it go see the computer doctor just this once I guess.

It had been limping around with power supply/cord and battery "issues" for the past couple of years but it was too important to me to give it up for any length of time because in spite of being...get this...A SIX COMPUTER HOUSEHOLD...it is the second most powerful computer in the building right now.

Pat's new company machine might have a faster processor...I haven't used it and checked the specs yet...but my HP is a "Media Center Edition" with a 17" screen, weighing about 100 pounds 11 pounds, with every kind of port and cable connection known to man on it.

I can hook a cable TV connection to it and watch Food Network on it if I want to

It has 4 gigs of RAM and not one but TWO 120 gig hard drives, and I have two versions of AutoCAD, a full blown version of Photoshop CS3, and a whole bunch of other technical software which would take about a month of time to either download or install from CD's if something happened to the machine.

And that's right, with the addition of Pat's latest business laptop--another Dell--we have six computers here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

We're up to our ears in laptops, because in the past, before Pat went on "fur low", every time one died...

hold on...the phone's ringing...

GREAT NEWS...that was the computer shop (seriously) calling to say all I needed was a new AC power supply adapter and the machine would be almost good as new.

any way...every time one of Pat's corporate laptops died they just sent her a replacement, and since she worked remotely from the Island they didn't bother to pay to have the old one shipped back.

So you know what I...Mr self proclaimed computer nerd (in another life) did?

I hoarded those suckers and then I bought parts on line on e-bay and in the end managed to replace crashed hard drives and broken displays and keyboards and so now I have a little fleet of notebook computers varying in age dating from 2003 to 2007...and the cost me on average about $50 each.

When I started writing this posting, before I learned that my primary HP laptop was going to be OK, I decided that it would be a pretty good idea to take one of the other machines, upgrade the hard drive from 20 gigs to something larger, and put copies of Autocad and Photoshop and my PLC programming software and other important stuff on there so that when and if the day comes when my lover the left side of my brain the old HP has to go back to the shop or ...God forbid...it dies, I don't go into full panic mode like I did over the past few days.

I absolutely have to get this latest PLC programmed and out the door before we head south to the Chili Cookoff, and I also have four more three-way valves to re-build, and now I have to go out the door and go pick up my old friend, Mr. HP laptop, and bring him home and order a new AC adaptor on line because I refuse to pay $89 for a new one.

While I agree that dogs might be "Man's Best Friend", in today's technical world a good laptop computer is worth it's weight in gold in my considered Redneck opinion.

Almost Famous?

I'm Associating With Celebrity...


Finally, after three months of research and development, I'm happy to report that I believe that I have my soon to be internationally recognized "Jamaican Me Cajun 'Green Butt' Chili" concoction completed, and scaled up to a 15 gallon recipe.

Late yesterday afternoon I called my good buddy and fellow Georgia Tech alumni John Howton, owner of Blackwater Grill, to give him the news and deliver the shopping list for Boston Butts and other stuff we were going to need for the Chili Cookoff.

John proceeded to blow me away...we hadn't spoken in about ten days...when he told me that Food Network's Guy Fieri's crew had just finished filming his restaurant to be shown on "Diner's, Drive-in's, and Dives" next month.

Isn't that TOTALLY COOL...or what?

I can't claim credit, but I did write to the show a few months ago to tell them about Blackwater and our Little Island in general, and turns out they called last week, said they had heard from a number of people about Blackwater, did a phone interview, then showed up last Sunday and again on Tuesday to film the show segment to be aired sometime in the next six weeks.

John's head was spinning I'm sure.

They also filmed a segment over at Southern Soul BBQ right around the corner from our old house on the island. We didn't spend much time there but it's still cool to have the people and places around our favorite spot on the entire planet featured for the rest of the world to see.

I wish we could have been down there because John invited a bunch of his friends and regulars to come out for the filming, but he knew we couldn't make it from Knoxtown with the trip next week already in the works.

This kind of stuff couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, a man who loves the restaurant business and has spent 45 years developing his skills and loves to deliver a superior dining experience to tens of thousands of satisfied customers every year.

Meanwhile we've got to start winding things down here going into the weekend and finish the last minute design details on the Chili Shack and some other professional stuff in anticipation of spending five nights in PARADISE.

It's 24 degrees outside here with snow flurries right now, and it's going to be near 60 tomorrow on St. Simons.

I just hope that the weather holds up for us there the following weekend...

More Butter Pornography Phantasies Fantasies

Drawing My Plugra...Is That Legal In Tennessee?


I'm sitting here trying to stop thinking about the King Crab Legs I have thawing in a giant boiler filled with lemon water in the sink right now.

You see, this evening after running a couple of errands and having a couple of cocktails at our local watering hole, I'm coming home and while those suckers are drained and steaming on the stove top, and a couple of ears of corn and some big red potatoes are boiling in a pot, I'm melting a stick of my new found friend--"Pugra"-- in a little stainless steel boiler and skimming the milk solids off the top of the liquid...and then dipping my steamed crab meat in it and thinking thoughts that probably shouldn't be associated with food....

You can take all of the above for what it's worth...at least I got over the idea of streaking unclothed down the street smeared in expensive dairy products...the voices told me it wasn't a good idea...

Things I Didn't Know I Needed To Know

Regarding My Cooking, I Try To Never Stop Learning...


Recently I was mindlessly watching Alton Brown on Food Network cook something in the last few weeks while working on my Truffle and Chili recipes, and the words Plugra European Style Butter stuck in my mind from his dissertation.

Alton was basically poo-pooing on my cheap store brand unsalted semi-sweet butter I buy three pounds of at a time when it's on sale for $2.99 a pound and keep in my freezer.

And here I was thinking I was some kind of culinary genius because I bought and stockpiled massive quantities of unsalted butter in my home, purchased on sale at low low prices.

I swear I break out in a cold sweat if I look in the two fridges and deep freeze and don't see two or three pounds of butter in our inventory...but I digress...

So any way, right after I heard Alton's reference to the Plugra (which happens to be a brand as well as a "style" of butter in this instance"), when I was raiding our local Fresh Market Grocer of their inventory of Ghiradelli Chocolate I also noticed that they stocked the "Plugra" brand and I bought a couple of sticks--a half pound--for about five dollars.

Then last night I had to break a stick out of the Fridge because all of my usual inventory was frozen solid, and I needed something to make my Bearnaise Sauce to go with the beef tenderloins, Asparagus, and Red Potatoes on the evening's dinner menu.

Boys and Girls, I have to admit that I was speechless when I tasted the stuff raw.

Forget the flavor for a minute, even the texture of this Dairy Ambrosia is different from the wax that they're selling us with a wrapper with the words "Butter" stenciled on it .

If you already knew about it, feel free to smirk and feel superior to me in my infinite Blogger Self Impotence.

If you didn't know, drop what you're doing right now and go buy five pounds and hoard it in your freezer, because this weekend I'm buying everything else I can find on the shelf and putting on my parka and sleeping with it in my fridge.

Or smearing myself all over with it and runing around outside nekked yelling "Plugra Rules"...

Or...WAIT...never mind...

Toys "Stuff" In My Attic...

"The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing."


So on a whim I went up into my attic this afternoon. For some reason I hadn't had reason to make that journey since we had the home inspected prior to closing in 2008.

The visit lasted about 15 minutes but only covered the area that the previous owner had decked out with wooden planks for storage...I didn't feel like sticking a knee or foot through the hall or dining or kitchen ceiling and/or having to tape and mud "Virgil shaped holes" in the sheet rock.

I just got through climbing back down, dusted the insulation off my elbows and knees and folded the attic staircase back up into it's hole in the ceiling and as usual with home ownership my head is spinning with ideas and a list of things I need to do up there.

The real purpose of the journey was to look at the wiring in the master bedroom and at how hard it would be to add a light or lights in the expanded walk-in closet I'm planning on building this spring.

The good news is that adding lighting will be a piece of cake, the bad news is that I just can't leave it at ten feet of 14/2 wire and a 4x4 ceiling box...I noticed another half dozen things that need to be done before the temperature returns to spring/summer daytime levels.

Heck, I've got plenty of time on my hands...all I need is THE MONEY...

Stumble...bUMBLE...SnorrrrRRRRR...

I'm Full Of Chili, & To Lazy To Post


Don't worry Ladies and Gentlemen...there's nothing really wrong here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

Maybe after an early morning nap something will come to me to bitch about, but right now I'm too lethargic to Google let alone do a spellcheck on a few hundred words if I actually managed to write them.

Z
z
z
z
z
z
Z
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZ...snore...

Lazy Sun Son Of A Gun

Sunlight Deprivation Relapse...


Well, it rained and was cloudy all day and as a result I successfully managed to do basically nothing except chase some vendors around looking for price quotes and making some accounts payable calls to my customers trying to chase down some money.

That's the bad thing (besides with dealing with all of the government crappola) about being in business for yourself...everybody expects to get paid on time every few weeks or even up front on commercial purchases for new businesses like mine, and yet your clients--often giant companies--are generally cavalier with taking their time sending you the money they owe you.

Right now I'm basically in the "banking" business, loaning money to a couple of companies for going on three months now from the first day we started spending money if you count the time spent while the products were still in my shop in fabrication and programming and we couldn't bill them yet.

I've still got a pile of government forms to file with the State of Tennessee and the Department of Labor by April 15th, but I'm letting them lay in a pile on my desk festering because my brains start dripping out of my ears and nostrils when I look at them and start reading the instructions written in English and Spanish.

I got a form in the mail today--I swear I'm not making this stuff up--that was telling me how to find out how to get EEOC information which complied with the Americans with Disability Act.

It opened up with this paragraph:

"The law requires an employer to post a notice describing the Federal Laws prohibiting job discrimination based on race, color, sex, national origin, religion, age, equal pay and disability."

Sorry folks, but I've got some news for everybody...I don't care what the Government says, any person which is deaf, dumb, blind, bearded, bald, crotchless-overall-wearing, transgendered Mormons or Quakers (and I mean all of those qualities applying to a single individual collectively) need not apply over here at my Company's Corporate offices, because I'm just not hiring them.

They'll have to fine me, sanction me, censure me, and send me to jail...it's just THAT simple.

Call me "I N S E N S I T I V E" I guess.

Heh...

Sunshine And Warm Weather Causes Cures Mental Illness

I Want To Hang Out With Jack Nicholson...


Sorry, but best intentions aside I just couldn't stand it yesterday...letting weather not involving ice falling from the sky pass me by un-utilized.

After looking at the temperature on the wireless backyard weather station display every fifteen minutes, when the temperature reached 65 degrees F I broke down and took the NY Times Crossword outside with a Rolling Rock Beer and another Cigar and wasted another two hours laying like a lizard in a chair on the deck.

I fooled around so much doing that and having a fit of ADD induced home improvement urges--re-hanging the storm door on the carport and completing some more re-wiring in the basement lighting system that I managed to screw up and cook the prototype Boston Butt at 225 instead of 350 degrees F, so after three hours I still had undercooked meat that wasn't wanting to turn loose of the shoulder bone.

I salvaged everything by cutting the meat off the bone, tossing the thick fat sheath from across the bottom into the trash, and then chunking everything up and sliding it back into the oven for another two hours.

After that everything went as expected, except we wanted to eat before 9 PM so I left out a couple cans of Great Northern Beans because they wouldn't have had time to cook down.

Thus we ended up eating great tasting chili that wasn't quite as thick as I like to make it. The beans are supposed to be a background filler...about 25% to 30% of the volume, so the Chicken and Beef Stock made things a little soupy but it was still excellent in my opinion.

No matter, I'm going to bore Pat and the Turbo Pup and our neighbors with rerun portions again tomorrow night after I cook it down some more, and then freeze the balance and go to work transcribing the final formula for 15 gallons.

The recipe works as long as I follow it, and now all we have to do is wait 12 days for the opportunity to torture the taste buds of the judges and the general public with the results of my imagination and efforts.

Otherwise, I wish something interesting would happen in the news (other than some idiot crashing something into something else), and so until then I guess that the only thing else I have to say is...

Regards Y'all...

Acting Like It's Spring

Warm Weather Causes Procrastination...


I basically didn't get a darn thing done yesterday.

That is, if you don't consider sitting on the back deck in the near 60 degree weather with my shirt off, reading the newspaper and smoking the first cigar in a new bundle since some time in 2009.

Ok, I guess cooking my soon to be famous Chicken Piccata for dinner counts for doing something, but other than that and getting the Boston Butt into a Brine mixture to thaw out in anticipation of today's Chili Laboratory and Science Festival I really didn't accomplish much else.

And I loved every minute of it, but now it's time to take a nap and then get up and re-build some valves while the Chili simmers I guess...and it's going to be even warmer today so I have to lock the outside doors and close the blinds so I can concentrate.

Y'all have a LOVELY Sunday...if you will...

Cooking More Chili

The Final Practice Round...


This time exactly two weeks from now I'll be standing in a booth, surrounded by 1,500 hungry people on St. Simons Island, Georgia, stirring a giant 72 quart stainless steel pot full of my soon to be famous "Jamaican Me Cajun Green Butt Chili" with a boat paddle.

Judging starts at 11:00 AM on March 6th, and I can hardly wait...

In a final research and development effort in preparation for the event, this weekend I'm cooking my fourth and final test batch of the new Boston Butt pork based recipe...about three quarters of a gallon of the stuff this time...measuring the EXACT quantities in weight and/or volume of each of the ingredients in the mixture.

I'm close...real close to having the recipe and final process down, then after this effort I just multiply everything by twenty to scale up to about 15 gallons and then everything should be academic on the day of the Rotary Red Hot Chili Festival.

We're real excited to get back to our little island for the first time this year, and since it's been about four or five months since our last visit, five days is just barely enough time to absorb enough of the food and weather and visit with all of our friends that still live down there in paradise.

Looking at the weather websites this morning, its 22 degrees warmer--currently 60 degrees F--there on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean than it is here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

I hope the weather holds up...it was in the mid Seventies last year...because cold or rain can severely affect the attendance and make it a miserable process cooking outside under a tent, and defeating the purpose of raising money for charity by selling "tasting bracelets" to the attendees.

Pat and the Turbo Pup and I will have a good time regardless of the weather, because we'll be back home for a little while and able to stick our feet in the sand on the beach there once again.

Everybody please pray for good weather...if you will...

They Actually Have "Sex Rehab"?

Sound's Like To Me Tiger Needs A "Sex Re-Tread"

Stupid Crap All the People That Are Stupid As Crap Should Know

Today's Public Service Announcement...


I swear to God, Ladies and Gentlemen, some days I reach the point when I think that my head (the ever greying, ever balding one I talk about all of the time here on this blog) is GOING TO EXPLODE.

Explosively...at the risk of being redundant.

Why?

Because all of this BS "Green Energy This" and "Green Energy That" and other mindless PorkulusStimlus driven drivel bantered around by the lamestream media and the dirty stinking liberal progressive Patchouli stinking, Kumbaya singing, tree hugging environmentalists is making me crazy.

I've said it before here several times (at least once every three months), but this afternoon I feel like giving you a "Cliff Notes" rendition of my basic insights into why the whole Green Energy and Conservation and Recycling initiatives, as presently proposed by Government, are doomed to failure.

Point Number 1.

You want Green Energy...something like wind power?

You get all warm and fuzzy thinking about all of the CO2 and NOx emissions you're going to avoid adding to the Global Warming Monster that coming to visit you in your living room next year???

Then go here and look at Siemens Energy's website, they're the largest producer of utility scale wind turbines in the world, and they're in Germany.

Then give them a call or send them an E-mail asking for a budget quotation on one of their wind turbines.

I did exactly that last spring, called them and e-mailed them while working on a proposal for a wind farm in an industrial park down in the Florida Panhandle...

Know what my honest technical request got me?

A polite e-mail saying that due to present market conditions, they couldn't even give me a BUDGET price for six months to one year because they had sold everything they could build for the next TWO YEARS.

So in spite of all of the rhetoric, if you start right now as far as I can tell no one's going to generate one single Kilowatt or KWH of electricity in the southeastern US in the foreseeable future unless they placed a purchase order and got in the production flow a few years before Obama was elected President.

Further, there's a wind farm up here in Tennessee a few dozen miles north of the Turbo Pup compound that was erected a few years ago over the protests of guess who???

THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS, who were worried that the blades of the wind turbines were killing Bats and Migratory birds flying over the mountain tops on which the turbines were located.

Funny thing, but if you want to generate energy from wind, you have to put your generators where the wind blows--preferably all day every day and at a rate of something like 15 to 20 MPH.

But the Federal by God Government of the United States of 'Merica, in their infinite wisdom, has let the EPA and the Department of the Interior add further red tape to the "Green Energy" permitting process.

If some tye died patchouli stinking tree hugging Jane Fonda loving hippy (or group or groups thereof) wants to object on behalf of the Geese and Ducks and Sea Gulls and Bats, you and your group of investors in the "Green Energy" wind energy project have to do an "Migratory Wildlife Impact Study", often lasting 18 months to 2 years, prior to obtaining a permit to generate your non-stinky, no CO2 and NOx emitting electrical power.

And get this...this is the kicker for all of the local Tree Hugging Environmentally Conscious Green Weenies...after we've waited two years for the government permit and two more years for our wind turbine to arrive in a BMW or Mercedes truck or boat from Germany, our local utility offers to sell us a portion of their "Green Energy for a FEE"...something like a 25% increase in electrical cost (don't hold me to the number because I'm too lazy to look it up right now.)

Got it?

So if you want Green Energy boys and girls, you better get your Checkbook and Wallet out because it's not going to be CHEAP, and then the next thing you know all of the liberals are going to start crying and yapping about the "working families" and "poor people" not being able to afford it, and then once the Government has converted everything over to expensive GREEN ENERGY, those of us they deem can afford it are going to not only see an increase in our own electric bill, but they're going to start making us also pay for the extra cost of the aforementioned "working families" and "poor folks" energy bills.

Ain't that a lovely pile of Dog Squeeze?


Point Number 2.

"Recycling"

That word makes my head spin at a rate approaching orbital rotational velocity.

I've gotten to the point where I just shut up rather than tell what I know about the current process of "municipal government" managed recycling because my friends and acquantences--often well intended people/citizens (i.e. not tree hugging tye died Patchouli stinking Kumbaya singing liberals) would get mad at me when I started talking about it.

Let me break this to you gently.

I suspect (without direct Internet citations because I'm lazy...but I know I'm pretty close) that at least 50% of the crap people take the time to separate and place in their lovely blue and green "recycling bins" on the curb once a week, is actually taken to the local "waste transfer station" or directly to the garbage dump/landfill and promptly mixed right back in with the tampons and empty tuna cans and left over dinner scraps that didn't get flushed down the toilet or garbage disposal.

It's just that simple.

You see, depending on economic conditions, there is very little if any post consumer market for ANYTHING we're encouraged to recycle...be it plastic or glass or aluminum or cardboard.

It's just not there because the economics of cleaning up and separating things and "recycling" them back into the production stream exceeds starting from scratch with clean feed stock.

One lithium battery or one phonebook in a dumpster full of newspapers screws everything up when the load enters the material stream at the manufacturer.

And as long as the local town or city or Waste Management will come to your house and haul pretty much every thing you can possibly want to throw away each month for $39.95--nuclear waste and fluorescent light bulbs included--enough of the population is going to continue to poison the "environment" at a rate which greatly exceeds anything that you conscienious do-gooders can accomplish...

And guess what?

Within limits...Mother Earth can handle it.

After all, we're not INVENTING mercury and Lithium and Lead and all of this stuff everyone is waisting time hyperventalating about and trying to pass legislation to prevent. This crap was already in the air or the dirt, just spread around everywhere...

heck...on a simplistic basis I'd like to see all the toxic crap concentrated and localized, then me and a bunch of other injuneers/investors could cover it all up with dirt and build a Nursing Home or Playground on top of it.

OK...maybe not...but still...

Any way, my point about all the hysteria regarding the need for recycling is this.

You want to force your desire for a cleaner planet on everyone?

That's EASY.

Make residential and small business garbage collection cost $1000 per month for anything over 20 pounds...maybe 50 pounds for an office.

FIFTY DOLLARS A POUND...that will do it, and toss in a prison term and a big fine for poopy baby diapers and batteries...force all the "working moms" back into linen diapers and using a diaper service or actually doing laundry...that's the ticket.

You know people will change their tune and most will be screaming bloody murder just like they do if and when gasoline finally hits $5.00 a gallon here in the US...which is another story beyond the scope of my diatribe this afternoon.

Otherwise, and until then, people are going to continue to leave their lights on while they're out of the room for five minutes, drive giant SUV's and toss old recliners and a year's worth of newspapers in the garbage along with used motor oil and Plutonium from their son's Ayatollah Komeinin Peaceful Nuclear Reactor Prototype Science Kit.

Got it now?

You know I'm right when you think about it.

So stop mindlessly saying "they're aught to be a law" and feeling good about yourself and your "environmental consciousness" and go out and throw away something that will make the liberals head spin...a nice used transmission or something full of Dioxin or PCB's.

And by the way...you're welcome...

Dinner For One?

Feeding Your Dog...





Thanks Rodg

Let The Anti Aviation Hysteria Begin

A Chevy Passenger Van Can Do More Damage...


So I'm sitting here watching the news coverage of the "Potential Intentional/Unintentional Flight into Terrain" incident out in Austin, Texas and as is usual when a plane crashes everyone's already freaking out.

FOX News is doing a pretty good job of reminding everyone that a car or truck could do similar or greater damage.

They just reported that there are seventeen thousand airfields in the US, and only 450 have control towers, which makes moot the point that the guy probably didn't file a flight plan and without a control tower no one might have seen him take off.

Speaking from personal experience, operating out of a "controlled airspace" field is a pain in the butt...I learned how to fly at McCullem Field (RYY) in Kennesaw, Georgia in the early 1990's. It was an uncontrolled field using a "unicom" system where the pilots talked to each other in the take off and landing pattern.

You could park your car, go inside and rent an airplane, pick up the keys, do your preflight, top off the fuel tanks, and be in the air in less than an hour.

And no one knew where you were going unless you filed a flight plan, and that's something done in your own best interest just in case something goes wrong.

Any way, sit back with me and watch all of the wild eyed speculation and calls for "regulating all of those rich guys" who have pilots' licenses.

Know this...there are literally millions of hours spent in the air each year by competent, well trained and well intended pilots in the general aviation community.

Very few incidents like this ever occur, and even if this is an intentional act I say that the number of people killed and maimed and injured by idiots in the general non-aviation public holding DRIVERS LICENSES...something like 40,000 deaths each year...should as a minimum cause us to stop more people from driving, or at least make it harder to get a license, rather than using events like this to screw with all of the law abiding men and women out there who own and operate small airplanes.

Dammit...

Here's Where You're Going To Be When You Put GOVERNMENT In Charge Of Healthcare

I Want Nothing To Do With The Process...


Hazelwood man dies after 10 calls to 911 over two days
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
By Sadie Gurman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

In his first call to 911, Curtis Mitchell sounded calm, explaining to dispatchers that his "entire stomach [was] in pain."

By the time his longtime girlfriend made a 10th call nearly 30 hours later, she was frantic. He wasn't breathing. He was cold to the touch.

"Oh God, oh God," Sharon Edge sobbed to dispatchers. "I've been trying to get an ambulance over here for three days.

Paramedics arrived at their Hazelwood home as Ms. Edge tried to resuscitate the 50-year-old, but it was too late."

Read more here if you can stand it...

Biden's Blackness

Fair Weather Ash Wednesday Catholics?


So apparently I wasn't paying attention, but just today I learned that it turns out that VP Joe Biden is of the Catholic religious persuasion (my dad's family being pedestrian Presbyterian and my Mom being a Baptist converted to Methodist...a Religion which I continue to ignore practice today...)

But we're talking business and governance, not heaven and hell and the pursuit thereof, so I have to point out...

being a professional scumbag rat bastard Democratic lieing thieving politician, anyone paying any attention at all knows that Biden publicly chooses to stay off of the "third rail" issue [Abortion] by supporting or otherwise not not supporting Abortion legislation reform depending on the direction the wind is blowing and which way the campaign financing budget coffers are buldging from.

Just now I was flipping around the TV channels and came across this image on FOX News:



See that dark spot on Biden's dopey face?

At first I thought he and Obamarama had been playing basketball and the Prez and thrown an elbow to Biden's mushy forehead.

After a little Googling I learned that Biden was proudly sporting his Ash smudge he received while attending an Ash Wednesday mass.

Of course, in broadcasting the same latest mindless daily never ending Presidential news conference, CNN. being a little more squeamish about overt displays of religion and religious symbols, had a narrower camera angle leaving Biden's silly ash smudged face out of the picture for most of the news conference.



In my considered Redneck opinion, Biden and Pelosi and most if not all of the entire Kennedy family are an embarrassment to the tenets of the Catholic faith, and America is worse off as a result of their overbearing, hypocritical participation in the political process.

Anyone care to take a shot at proving me wrong?

Job Description?

They Forgot Being An Expert At Farting and Belching (In Key)...


"While performing the duties of this job, the employee may be required to stand, walk, read, hear, talk, balance, climb, use hands, use fingers, reach, stoop, kneel, crouch, crawl, smell, push or pull. The employee may be required to move or lift objects weighing up to 100 pounds. Specific vision abilities required for this position include close vision, distance vision, peripheral vision, color vision and the ability to adjust focus."

Our Microwave Died

If It Isn't One Thing, It's Another...


The way I see things, the advantage of living in a near 50 year old house is that "they don't make 'em like that anymore."

...solid brick exterior construction. Real wood grown over thirty to fifty years rather than that soft "white wood" stuff they sell in the big box home improvement stores...

But (but not Butt)...

The disadvantage of having a house near a half century old is that everything in it is almost as old as I am, and even the parts that have been added or replaced have ten or fifteen years on them and thus...

this morning when Pat endeavored to heat her water for her morning cup of fancy White Tea all she got was buzzing sounds and a curl of acrid smoke in response to pressing the "start" button...

And now I'm faced with the task of unbolting a 50 pound chunk of sheet metal and plastic and electrical wires from the walls and cabinet (with no instruction manual) and replacing it with a new device.

I really want a convection microwave combination, and with the vent hood option that more than doubles the basic cost of the appliance, so with present finances and priorities I guess that our home will enjoy a reduction in the total output of electromagnetic radiation for a month or so until I can get off my butt and bring another device into the building.

My guess is that the water heater and the 25 year old Heat Pump System (it cools but struggles to heat) are not far behind on the list of age induced infrastructure casualties, and all I ask is that I be able to plan things and research the alternatives so we're not just running out and buying a given piece of machinery in a panic.

That said, I guess that it's time to go now and Google myself to death looking at technical specs and pricing for the replacement unit.

An injuneer's work is never done...and unfortunately for me, even if it is done, I'll generally find something inconsequential to obsess over just for fun...you know?

Wednesday Morning Music

Crank Up Your Speaker Volume And Enjoy This Hybrid Tune...





(yeah...that's a Journey and Metallica Musical Mix-up)

It Snowed All Day For Two Days...But I'm Still Grumpy

Not Enough On The Ground To Ride My Sled


One of the little details I know about from taking three quarters of Thermodynamics in college applies to winter weather and real life.

That would be that when the air temperature is below freezing but the air is DRY AS THE SAHARA DESERT, any snow that comes down out of the sky ends up producing snowflakes that don't hang around, but they also don't melt.

They go through a process on the Psychometric chart (something all of us injuneers carry around in our wallet) called "Sublimation", where the water skips over the "liquid phase" and goes straight from the "solid phase" to the "gaseous phase" right before your eyes.

That said, we've had a bunch of that (sublimation) going on around here the past ten days or two weeks else we'd really be up to our knees in snow drifts here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

Meanwhile, looking at the internet, back on our little Island down on the Georgia Coast it is what...let me check..."sunny and 51 degrees F."

Who's idea was this any way?

Why I Hate The Olympics...In 250 350 Words

Innocence Lost


I guess that, like most of the other members of the "Baby Boomer" generation out there that came of age with at least one television--if you were lucky a Color TV--in their household, I "used to"--past tense--enjoy watching the Summer and Winter Olympic events every few years when the TV schedule announced their availability.

Who can forget the drama of the competition of people like Nadia Komenich, Peggy Flemming, Mark Spitz, and the endless list of other competitors who skated and vaulted and swam their way across our TV screens in the days of our youth when steroids and "doping" scandals were either non-existent or not covered on the front pages of the NY Times.

And of course there is the (in)famous images of the guy tumbling off the snow ski jump ramp on ABC's "Wide World of Sports" intro back in the early 1970's:



That definitely made me think twice when I had the urge to go out and strap two 1x4's to my boots and take off sliding down the nearest hill when it snowed in south Alabama once every twenty years.

My problem today with the "Modern Olympics" and the associated TV coverage is the loss of the character and the insidious intrusion of the "professional" athlete into an event which, in theory if not spirit, was originally touted as showcasing the abilities of the common men and women of countries--for the shear pleasure of competition and as an extension of national pride.

Today, since most everyone has no morals and will do anything for profit or for glory & recognition, moments like the 1980 USA victory over the Russians in Hockey or any one of a number of other conquests by international AMATEUR ATHLETES has been poisoned and overshadowed by the likes of Michael Jordan and the other "professional" assholes that have in recent years just been allowed to show up at the Olympics for the photo opportunity.

All that said, I hope that you will this morning excuse me, because other than knowing that some poor fellow from Georgia...the Asian Georgia...died on the track sliding down an ice covered hill at 90 MPH, I pretty much could care less what's going on in Vancouver and it's suburbs in Canada.

Dang I'm an ignorant, uncultured Asshole, aren't I?

They Sell Everything I Ever Needed Or Could Need In The Future...

Where's My Credit and Debit Card?


So today, being manic depressive/Alzheimer's infected/attention deficit disordered, I'm busy designing an extension to our Turbo Pup rear yard access deck which I built last summer, to include a covered outdoor kitchen area/storage shed/greenhouse, while at the same time trying to coordinate with it another future expansion of the Master Bedroom and tiny little associated half bath into a full bath with a walk in closet with additional floor space in/around the main bedroom area.

Everybody got those specifications written down (there's a test later)?

In either Phase Two or Phase Three of the renovation process I expect to end up with a second bathroom with a bath tub and a toilet and a sink that's larger that the ones that they sell to midgets and bikini models at Home Depot.

After all, it's my toilet...and unlike an airline seat I'm renting from Air Tran or Delta Airlines, I want one built by Lazy-Boy from their "Double Wide" "executive" series...something with a heated "Naugahyde" seat with high speed Internet, high definition 1080P, and the new Wii I-Max surround sound video game console option.

They might just find me dead like Elvis on my toilet if I buy what I want...but I digress...

I was looking around for pricing and dimensions on some larger than "child sized" toilets and Jacuzzi Tubs and found this web site...Safer Wholesale.com and their product selection blew my mind as I surfed my way through their listings...

Where else in the entire world can you find, on one Web Site, such a bunch of excellent stuff like this for sale?

Elliptical Machines
Snow Blowers
E Book Readers
Cigarette Rollers
Popcorn Makers
Pool Tables
Bowling Balls
Train Horns
Trailers
Video Glasses
Kitchen Fun
Air Conditioners
Corn Stove Heaters
GPS
Electric Infrared Heaters
WindMills
Electric Saver
RC Cars
Fuel Saver Kits
UTV/Utility Vehicles
Cornhole/Bean Bag Game
Dirt Bikes
Electric Scooters
Kids Fitness Equipment
Kids Powerwheels
Exercise Equipment
Gaming Equipment
Generators
Go Karts
Golf Carts
Hot Tubs & Spas
Mobility Scooters
Mopeds / Gas Scooters
Trike - 3 Wheeled Scooters
Pocket Bikes
Saunas
Snowmobiles
Super Bikes
Tanning Beds
ATVs
Helmets (DOT)
Massage Chairs
Extreme Blowouts
Swimming Pools

Cigarette Rollers? Train Horns? Bowling Balls? Video Glasses? Kitchen fun (wink wink)?

Cornhole/ Beanbag Game?

ah ah ah ah ah ah ahh hheeeeeehhhhhaAAAAA

POCKET BIKES?

What the heck is a "Pocket Bike"?

I just decided to buy a DOT helmet and a Massage Chair and forget exactly why I brought all of this stuff up in the first place.

Seriously...there's a country song in there somewhere...

Somebody needs to call David Allen Coe.

Lazy Blogging

I'll Admit I'm Useless Just In Case You Didn't Notice...





Thanks Rodg