Man Wielding Earth Auger Attacks Leaf Blower Operator

Progress None The Less...


So we wandered back over to Home Depot after their courteous Driver dropped off a few thousand Tons Pounds of Pressure Treated Lumber this morning for the purpose of purchasing and borrowing what I call "Tools of Torture."

The First item was what is known as a "concrete" or "masonry" drill bit.

The latest item wasn't just any ordinary "concrete" or "masonry" bit... because I already own a fairly large assortment of those.

You see, since my house has a brick exterior finish on all four sides, resting against a wood frame sitting on a cinder block basement structure, and because the design elevation of my deck places it only 28" off the ground where the cinder blocks also reside, I needed a "concrete" or "masonry" bit...

A BIT SLIGHTLY OVER A FOOT LONG AND 5/8" IN DIAMETER.

And I was going to have to hold on to my Ryobi Hammer Drill while it punched its way through the rear wall of my house ...

SIX TIMES.

I found the expensive thirty four dollar 18" version at first, but since I didn't think even my expansive and ever growing collection of tools needed that much funding focused in such a narrow area of home improvement capability, I settled for the 13" version costing $12.

(By the way, it punched all six holes in the wall in less than 20 minutes with about 1/8" of length to spare...talk about close tolerances...)

The second item I needed I'd already owned twice before and worn out on the never ending investment property renovation in Brunswick a couple of years ago.

A Diamond Tipped "concrete" or "Masonry" saw blade designed to fit your "Skill Saw."

My recommendation is to not do this operation using your regular "Skill Saw"...buy the cheapest "Skill Saw" you can find (be it Craftsman or Ryobi" or whatever brand) and then cut your "concrete" or "masonry" and then throw the blade along with the saw in the Dumpster when you're finished because neither will be worth anything after thirty minutes to an hour spent cutting "concrete" or "Masonry" in this manner.

Any way...they only had one blade in stock which would fit my "Skill Saw" and it was clear that the package had been opened and the idiots at the Home Depot return desk had let some ingrate not only return the blade in the open package, but the blade was clearly used and the inner "insert" or "knockout" which allowed the blade to fit on various sized saw mandrels was missing.

I took a pass on that Item (see my earlier posting on home improvement store return counters.)

Finally, it was back over to the "Tool Rental" counter where Home Depot keeps all their really expensive, dangerous stuff like pressure washers, wood floor sanders, gasoline powered "concrete" or "masonry" saws, ACME head chopper-offers, and machine guns.

I needed what they laughingly call a "One Man Auger."

I was already afraid of the machine even as I asked the clerk to allow me to rent it for their minimum time period--Four Hours--because I had rented one before about this time last year when we were first installing the fence around the Turbo Pup Compund.

My point is that I'm fairly certain that if 99% of the men of my age were to actually rent one of these machines, drove home killing 15 minutes of the allotted time, and proceeded to try to hang on to it solo (remember it's a "one man" auger") while it was in operation for the entire remaining 3-1/2 hours (allowing time to return it to the HD Rental Counter) that the return trip would involve fire trucks, paramedics, and an ambulance.

I kept my "One Man Auger" for about three hours., and part of the time it was really a "one man and one woman and one Turbo Pup auger because that's what it takes to keep it under control while drilling through eastern Tennessee's dense red clay.

I ended up holding on to my "One Man Auger" for probably ONE HOUR OF THAT TOTAL TIME.

The rest of the time was spent with me sitting in a chair in the shade while I let the "One Man Auger" bake on its side on the grass or dirt in the sun.

In summary, my tools kicked my butt today, but I got all of the "one Man Augering" and "Hammer Drilling" completed by 3 PM and three new fence posts and two new deck structure posts are happily sitting in 6" diameter, 24" deep holes as I write.

In a fit of insanity I ran around the yard drilling another three or four dozen 8" deep holes for future use to plant new bulbs and Azaleas and other stuff in but that we can't afford the time or expense to worry about within the next month.

Since I had the "One Man Auger" in my hands I figured a few extra blisters and a few more minutes of torment and fatigue out of my FOUR HOUR RENTAL couldn't hurt (much.)

I guess that I have to admit that things went pretty smoothly all and all until our substitute idiot with a leaf blower "lawn maintenance technician" showed up in the middle of the proceedings and wanted to mow my grass for the third time in fourteen days.

I relented and allowed him to cut just the front yard for a reduced price, thinking that the deal would keep him and his lawn tools out of my construction area and his flying leaf blower dust and debris off my car and carport.

I WAS WRONG....

I looked up in the middle of cutting the tops on some decorative fence posts and the idiot with a leaf blower "lawn maintenance technician" was happily blowing crap all over the Chrysler 300 sitting out of the way at the top of the driveway...

WITH ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN.

If I hadn't already returned that "One Man Auger" I'd have drilled that guy a couple of new super sized bodily orifices allowing him to use the restroom once a year rather than whatever schedule he currently enjoys.

Is it just me?

Lumber On Truck

Driveway Clear (For Time Being)...


Home Depot just called threatening to have my structural framing lumber here by 9AM.

I had to get up and get dressed unexpectedly--having been promised sometime today before dinnertime being their contractual obligation.

I guess I have to stop talking and writing about it and go auger new fence post and footing holes this morning and make sawdust this afternoon.

The #1 Kiln Dried pressure treated decking arrives tomorrow.

It's probably too much to expect to have the framework installed but I'm gonna try.

I could accomplish that sort of feet feat 20 years ago...

New Party Deck

Construction Ensues...


Funny thing.

When the original owner built our present house in 1963, they put in a FRONT door and a CARPORT door, and a hidden basement door under the front porch, but oddly enough...

NO BACK DOOR.

For the past 13 months we've relegated ourselves to walking out through the kitchen and turning the corner across the carport to the back yard Turbo Pup pool compound.

While the floor plan is typical for that period, the realtor admitted after we purchased it that only having 1-1/2 baths and no patio or deck on the building had helped us get the great deal we enjoyed because families today expect/need at least two full bathrooms and private play/entertaining space out of sight of the street.

I've been committed to upgrading the marketability of the property while at the same time improving the features for our own use while we live here in Knoxtown on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River....thus I've designed a future rear addition which will add additional closet space and a full bath to the master bedroom, and an expansive deck serving one if not two new doors on the back of the building.

Trouble is, with the long term uncertainty of my present consulting injuneering situation we've had to postpone the rear bath addition but instead of dumping the deck plans entirely I've managed to come up with a three phase plan which allows us to build a minimum initial plan with well conceived aesthetic additions which can be added in the future as cash flow permits.

Phase I material are being ordered today, and hopefully the construction will be completed sometime in the next hundred years as it requires replacing an existing window in a brick wall with a french door and some other technical complications.

Of course I'm doing the labor myself with the aid and support of Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup.

Wish us luck...if you will...

What Happened To Summer?

Blackberry Winter Arrives In East Tennessee...


I planned to saw wood and apply paint to the finished Window Valance box structure over the past couple of days.

Of course just like last year about this time when I was cutting hinge slots and hardware holes in 5 new 6 panel doors, when it came time to smear paint the temperature dropped and the wind picked up to 30 MPH.

And right on schedule the bottom fell out of the ambient temperature again this year.

It only made it into the mid 50's yesterday and after sinking into the low 40's overnight things got back to about 63 degrees F so I could finish painting while chasing my cheap plastic drop cloths around the Carport trying to keep them off the wet paint.

It's heading into the upper 30's tonight with a chance of frost and the Weather Nerds are predicting tying or breaking the 38 deg F record set way back in 1976.

That Global Warming...she be a bitch...

I'm Gonna Kill My Landlord Lawn Guy

And I'm Stalking Stupid People At The Home Depot Return Desk...


I swear to God that the Gas Powered Leaf Blower has to be the most annoying invention produced by man in the past half century.

They're fewer of them, but to me they're almost more annoying than loud mouthed idiots with cell phones in public places.

The reason I say this is that in the past ten days I managed to drag my lazy butt off my office chair and the dead battery out of my Suburban and over to Autozone for what has become a celebrated Bi-annual Vehicle Battery Replacement Ritual (or BAVBARR for short.)

For those of you that don't know the pleasure of buying 42 gallons of gas at one time and getting 9 MPG on the highway, the 2500 series, 3/4 Ton, 4 WD, 454 cu inch dual AC trucks like mine eat batteries for a snack--at least mine does.

After dealing with that quality bi-lingual consumer purchasing exercise where they claimed to not have my battery warranty in their computer, once I got home with the new box of lead and acid I fired up the truck and spent a half hour carefully sweeping the winter's worth of dust, leaves, and other debris out of the carport...things which never should have been allowed to accumulate but were covered by the aforementioned truck with the dead battery.

Have you ever tried to push a 6,000 pound vehicle 12 inches not to mention 24 feet over and back...even on flat ground?

It ain't happening here in Knoxtown with my middle aged spleen and liver and wimpy biceps.

So any way...

I also took advantage of a three day period when it didn't rain all day to remove the accumulated vegetative crap out the concrete portal leading into our basement. Everything but the little Wren's nest with the five eggs was removed and disposed of.

Since the completion of my spring cleaning efforts my idiot lawn guy lawn maintenance technician--being basically a slacker and also being delayed by all the rain--has decided to play catch up on our lawn (and more likely his cash flow) by mowing and blowing our grass last Saturday and then again this past Thursday.

Two cuttings in six days...go figure.

Problem is, in spite of us telling him over and over and over that I'd rather have leaves on my grass than in my ears and carport and basement portal, this gentleman insists on brandishing his leaf blower (usually while I'm trying to make a business call) while listening to music on his MP3 player and...

HE INTENDS TO GIVE ME MY MONEYS WORTH OF LEAF BLOWER ACTION.

If it were dry and he blew any more my yard wouldn't have any grass or dirt left in it.

My house would be sitting on a dirt pedestal on top of the Granite bedrock.

And my carport and my Basement portal?

They both basically look like I haven't done any housekeeping in a couple of months. I just get out of the car and look straight ahead toward the door to keep my head from exploding.

And speaking of my head exploding, I have to bring up another situation I detest.

The return counter at Home Depot and Lowe's.

Have you seen the BS people try to get away with at a return counter? People don't want to buy tools to keep, they want to RENT tools...

BUT NOT AT THE HOME DEPOT TOOL RENTAL ROOM.

Apparently people buy tools all the time, use them to make seven cuts or holes, then try to bring them back and get their money back. I saw a guy once try to bring back a big monkey wrench that had something that looked like toilet gasket wax and possibly POOP in it because he said he didn't need it.

I think he stole and and rather than going to a pawn shop since it was relatively new and still had the SKU sticker on it he just wanted the cash.

I think he ended up with a store credit.

Can you buy cheep booze or Crack Cocaine with a Home Depot store credit?

Back to today's point...this morning about 10:30, instead of attending church and pleading for our souls, I was standing in line behind a guy at home depot.

The fellow had two dozen random lengths of trim lumber that had clearly been partially used, but since Home Depot sold the lumber by the foot rather than by the piece he was there for a "RETURN."

The cashier smiled her way through the process of scanning the bar code on each piece and ENDED UP REJECTING OVER HALF THE PRODUCTS because they weren't stocked by Home Depot.

The half dozen six to seven foot sticks of dirty lumber that were Home Depot products had to be measured and fumbled over before again issuing the guy A STORE CREDIT rather than a refund.

Meanwhile I'm standing on one foot twitching and resisting the urge to grab a piece of crown moulding and impaling the guy on it. I could have killed him but instead I enjoyed the expression on his face as he walked away looking at his "IN STORE CREDIT CARD."

I return probaly between 5% and 10% of the miscellaneous crap I buy at the big box home improvement stores. I generally keep an extra board or a few feet of something if I have it left over.

99% of the stuff I return I end up buying a like item...just a different or the RIGHT item within 15 minutes of leaving the return desk.

I think that people that see the return desk as an income source or a credit card cash withdrawal mechanism should be shot...or at least forced to live and work in the Kitchen Cabinet Department or the Custom Window Department for a few months to appreciate what goes on there.

That will be all...for now...

(time to go cut lumber and apply paint)

The Obama Card

Dont' Leave Home Without It

Home Depot Strikes Again

Paint On Walls...Porch Lights Going Back In Packaging...


I have a "saying."

It's been often repeated for near twenty five years now since I've been a homeowner.

I came up with the idea myself.

Here it is...

It takes THREE TRIPS to Home Depot or Lowe's (hereafter identified as a "home improvement store") to complete any given "home improvement" project or projects.

Step #1. Go to "home improvement store" and buy the "stuff" you THINK you need.

Step #2. Go BACK to "home improvement store" and buy the "stuff" you forgot or should have bought while in step #1.

Step #3. Make third trip to "home improvement store" and return the "stuff" you didn't need and which was left over in accomplishing your "home improvement" project or projects.

It's just that simple.

The good news is that today we got most of a gallon of paint on the walls of the Master bedroom.

We managed to keep all but a few specks of light grey color off ourselves and Missy the Turbo Pup.

Tomorrow finds me re-coating some thin spots trying to avoid having to install an entire second coat of paint and finishing some cutting in edges and the trim and baseboard painting.

Then I have to take two exterior coach lanterns I purchased back to the store because after installing one light on Wednesday, I opened the second box late Thursday afternoon and found the glass globe CRACKED.

The bad news is that I got a killer deal on the lights and because they were taped closed in the original factory packaging I didn't open them to check for damage before I bought them off the clearance rack.

They were the last two units our local store had, and I need a light on each side of the front door so I have to take the one I've already installed BACK DOWN AND PUT IT BACK IN THE BOX AND TRUNDLE IT BACK TO THE "HOME IMPROVEMENT STORE" WITH IT'S DAMAGED COUSIN.

Dammit...

Me And My Paint Roller

More Home Owner Insanity...


Well Folks, after a down day yesterday spent laying in the bed, on the sofa, and sitting in front of the computer getting basically nothing accomplished, today finds me moving furniture out of the Master Bedroom and covering everything left over with paper, tape, and plastic in anticipation of going through a couple gallons of paint--smearing it on the walls and trying to keep it off the ceiling and floors and the bed.

I don't know what the heck I was thinking because I just got through doing an epic three month long (not continuous or full time) renovation of the Hall Bathroom walls and cabinetry and I wasn't finished a week before I was standing at Home Depot buying more paint and new roller covers.

For some strange reason owning property, especially if there is a woman around when you do it, causes you to sit around looking a paint color samples in your spare time and speculating about things like gloss or semi-gloss on the wood trim work and darn it if you don't find yourself changing room colors at least once every two or three years somewhere in your abode.

I once painted the entire outside of the house I grew up in--everything but the brick--in return for a set of 6X9 tri-axial speakers and an Audiovox AM/FM radio for my '77 Camaro.

I once painted the entire inside...including the ceilings...of an 1800 square foot split foyer house in return for free rent for three months before I bought the property from the bank in foreclosure.

At least in those two endeavors I got PAID for my efforts, but today I'm reduced to being SLAVE LABOR because I love my Girl and I don't want some fool tracking and spattering paint all over the Turbo Pup and my stacks of back issues of Mechanical Engineering Magazine.

Time now to go put down some blue masking tape...

"Asphalt" Ain't No Butt Defect

Butt Getting It (the Asphalt) Installed Can Be Expensive...


Pennsylvania's Crazy Jack Murtha's at it again... this time spending "Stimulus" money on a repaving project at an airport he had built under government mandate with his name on it which serves something like 100 people per day.

(We fly into Pittsburgh and drive to see Pat's Family.)

Space Garbage Collector

I'm Submitting My Application Right Now For The Job...


After a little drama and nail biting, this afternoon I watched the Space Shuttle blast off into a 350 mile high orbit to chase down the Hubble Space Telescope and cram some new updated guts into it's 19 year old Chassis. (Remember they originally launched this thing into orbit with metric lenses on a system designed for English unit design measurements.)

The big story was that it seems that in less than 60 years we've already crapped up the atmosphere outside the "breathable atmosphere" to the point where "space Junk" is now an issue when it comes time to launch a couple of humans into orbit or beyond.

The Russians most noticeably had their Mir space station come crashing into the Earth and the US had the old Apollo Skylab third stage piece of junk re-enter the atmosphere without hitting me or my sofa back in the 1980's and 1990's.

Today they say that the Air Force and NASA are tracking a few million truck loads of junk--everything from old astronaut poop to lost nuts and bolts and of course the left over upper stages of rockets and dead satellites that continue to orbit until they lose energy and start dragging into the air and finally burn up on re-entry.

Problem is the little events when you're cruising along at orbital rotational velocity (something my head knows about--about 36,000 MPH) and you meet something going sideways or in the opposite direction at a similar speed.

Let's just say that it will ruin your morning, afternoon, or evening in the event of such an occurrence.

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of all ages, I...your lovely and talented Blogger and Photoshop Artist...have a solution I'm proposing this morning...

Here's a Photoshop proposal offering of my new patented Orbital Garbage Collection System (or OGCS for short...)




And here it is in action after a few weeks in orbit:


(you just have to click on that Photoshop image because I've really outdone myself showing the stuff you might collect in orbit...)

If NASA will just sell me the last few shuttles after they "decommission" them next year I'm opening a "Cosmic Antique & recycling center" down near Orlando and if you want to buy into my endeavor send cash and we'll talk...

If You Have Any Net Worth You Better @#&^%*ing Run

This Crap Is Getting Serious


I have a problem this morning...Ladies and Gentlemen.

More accurately...WE have a problem if I have any understanding of what's happening these days when it comes to ownership of private property and even the value and availability of the money you're more or less forced to keep in the bank.

It's been coming on now for a good while.

I don't know exactly how long because I'm too lazy to Google it but I do know what I've seen in the past twenty years and in my mind--and I'm not a barking moonbat conspiracy theorist--things are accelerating rapidly under the Obamarama administration.

It started when they cut the size of our legal tender down from the $10,000 and $1000 bills to the biggest circulated item being the $100 bill, all under the guise of stopping the Mafia and Organized crime members from being able to conveniently move large sums of money around undetected.

More recently they've use the drug trade as the argument for limiting cash transactions and making banks report deposits over a certain size ($10,000 I think.)

Who's &%*ing business is it anyway how much money I have or take out of or put into the bank if it weren't for the IRS worrying about sucking "their fair share" of taxes out of me and my efforts and assets?

If you've been paying any attention here on this blog you know that I owned a company which was forced into bankruptcy back in the late 1990's, and in the process of attempting to prop up the corporation I was forced into personal bankruptcy also.

The whole ordeal totally sucked, and in retrospect it was almost the end of me physically and mentally but when the financial and emotional dust settled I managed to arise from the rubble and wreckage and here I am today blithering on the Internet.

For the next four or five years after I had paid the lawyers and the other legal fees I ended up being able to keep my crappy continuously under renovation old house and a couple of old paid off cars and the clothes on my back and in the mean time I was forced to operate on a totally "Cash" basis.

I couldn't get a credit card in my name and the banks wouldn't even let me have a bank account--so I was forced to go to a credit union and get a simple savings account to keep money anywhere besides my wallet or an envelope stuck up in the ceiling tiles in the basement.

Unlike the government portrait of the downtrodden and homeless...I still managed to make a little money here and there along the way in spite of my crappy physical condition with Phlebitis et. al.

I did pick up carpentry jobs working for friends and acquaintances and the occasional consulting injuneering project and along the way managed to eat and sleep and until the day I came home from working on an old house built in 1888 and found police tape wrapped around my front porch things were moving along smoothly.

That day my house burned down.

That day my house burned up.

If it wasn't brick on all four sides it would have fallen down--but the shell that was left still looked like my house but all it contained as smelly sooty wet stuff that looked like my possessions.

That fall I moved to Florida in my old Chevy suburban and took pretty much everything worth having with me in that truck.

Fortunately the building was insured, and after a extended argument with the companies involved including a lawsuit where they tried to take all of the proceeds and split it among the corporations involved in the process I ended up with a settlement which again was only in the form of a check.

Understand this...PAPER money--check or cash--is just as useless as electronic money sitting in the bank if and when the government decides to change the value of it or otherwise stop you from getting access to it through a bank account, an ATM, or the Internet.

I managed to convert the check into cash--and to this day I've carefully shepherded my money from place to place and today I'm getting really nervous about having everything in the banks because of the recent government influence thereon.

I remember going to the bank one time with my first bonus check as a young engineer back in the mid 1980's and having a sinking feeling when the tellers treated me like a thief when I wanted to cash my check.

It was for $5,000 and it was drawn on the bank I was standing in but I had to wait on the head teller to come back from lunch and then I had to wait for my boss to come back from a meeting to answer their phone call so I ended up sitting there for something like an hour with everyone glaring at me because apparently some guy with long hair that needed a shave couldn't possibly have earned a $5,000 check and it was probably stolen or forged or whatever and any way...

The government doesn't want you to have money in your hands.

The government wants your money to be electronically transferred from one bank account they're monitoring (THE PAYER) to another bank account they're monitoring (THE PAYEE) so they can make sure they get their CUT.

It's getting so that some places won't even take cash these days. Walk into a FedEX office and try to pay with cash.

They won't let you send anything unless you use a credit or Debit card. They claim it's for "security" reasons but I really think it's just the beginning of a growing trend where you can't use YOUR MONEY the way you want to use it unless the government says so.

...And another thing...

Try walking into a bank or credit union where your funds are stored and attempt to withdraw $10,000 in cash Monday morning.

They will %$^&* freak out.

You might as well be wearing a ski mask and brandishing a AK47 and a Howitzer.

I tried that once (without the ski mask and the artillery)...

Back when I was buying a boat in south Florida they almost called the police on me I think and they had to call around and find a branch office which could give me $10,000 in cash and they looked at me like I was Atilla the Hun or Sodam Hussain or Osama Somebody the whole time.

The bottom line here is, in my considered redneck opinion, that our financial infrastructure is set up for you to make deposits--thereby loaning them money for 0% interest--and charging you a "FEE" every time they can--and then maximizing the effort it takes for you to get your money back out to store or use outside their institution.

PLASTIC IS CONVENIENT...paper is a pain...

So any wayyy...back to my original point...these insidious leaches have progressed over time to the point where today they can tell investors--people that gave a company money in return for an equity position in the buildings/equipment/and future profits--how much they are "entitled" to keep while at the same time the government repackages the aforementioned company and sells rights to future profits to entirely new owners/investors.

How %$#*ed up is that?

Here's a link to the story (all the Chrysler creditors finally caved in):

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/09/chrysler-lenders-give-up-in-court/

So the Obamarama empire and the media has managed to spin and bluff and muscle people which had WRITTEN CONTRACTS out of 2/3's to 3/4's of their money just BECAUSE.

Just BECAUSE...it would be "unpatriotic" to demand their day in court.

THATS JUST WRONG.

In closing this rant I ask you this question...

HOW LONG BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT COMES TO YOUR BANK AND DEMANDS THAT, BECAUSE IT TOOK TARP FUNDS OR OTHER BAILOUT MONEY, THAT YOUR CHECKING AND SAVINGS AND 401K ACCOUNT BE REDUCED BY 60% OR 75%, WITH THE BALANCE OF THE VALUE TRANSFERED TO SOME NEW GOVERNMENT FUND OR PROGRAM ?

Don't say it can't happen because the precedent has now been set.

(BUY GOLD)

Trying To Be Nice

Holding My Own Tongue...


If you stopped by here before about 8:30 this morning you were subjected to a less than polite rant I had composed in a moment of self serving weakness--talking in a less than flattering manner about some of my fellow "artists" I was forced to hang around with on St. Simons Island.

Upon reconsideration I came back and took it down...thus the apparent lack of posting today.

It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I try my best these days to say something at least a little positive. Thus bitching about the ingrates and morons in the artists guilds of our little island (there I go again) is counter productive because I don't live there anymore and I can do nothing to change them and their behavior toward one another.

Any way, a jurried Exhibit/competition I was planning on entering this year has been postponed if not cancelled due to lack of funding and some other "issues" and since I have a good deal of time and money already invested in a piece of art I was planning on entering ( and which I don't need hanging on the wall in my dining room) I'm more than a little pissed at the lack of artistic outlets I've participated in in the past two years.

There was a few years there when I did two or three shows a year and won stuff or at least got an honorable mention, and these days I just sit around looking like a big old over weight middle aged artistic has-been talking about the good old days when no one knew me except in the bars and taverns and whispered "that guy drinks and paints but he's not a professional house painter..."

Now I still drink and I've recently done some house painting but I don't do new watercolors, I've stopped sculpting in clay, and my pen and ink work has been relegated to the checkbook and the balance sheet doing taxes.

What is this world coming to anyway?

The New Phonebook's Phone's Here!

21st Century Portable Dialing...


The past couple of days have been sort of interesting.

We went out and had Sushi to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

Nothing wrong with our local Mexicans (all twenty of them here in Knoxtown) and the local Mexican Restaurant, but it's always nice to "dis" the invading immigrant nation of "undocumented workers" by doing something weird like eating Japanese food on their independence day.

Before that the new LG Dare touch screen cell phones arrived. We tore into the boxes and fiddled around with the bells and whistles for a couple of hours and then got back to work on the bathroom rennovation. (Paint is done on the walls, ceiling, and refinished vanity/wall cabinet--regrouting of the wall and floor tile in progress)

After living with them (the phones) about 48 hours I have to say they're pretty impressive.

Large bright screens with vibrant colors, and an interesting tactile feedback when you touch the screen to push a key...the phone actually vibrates slightly to tell you that you made an entry or input.

Of course it has a whole bunch of music capability and game crap on it which will probably end up being a distraction in the end, but the ability to check my E-mail and browse an occasional web page on the fly, not to mention getting local weather and radar pictures is totally AWESOME.

Pat has a 250 message per month account so she can send pictures of the Turbo Pup to everyone and receive pictures of the Grandkids and other family members new babies, and I threaten anyone and everyone that wants to send me a text message with me coming over to your house and peeing on your front door for wasting my time.

You want to talk to me...you call me.

If I want to talk to you, I'll answer the phone (or call you.)

After spending $200 per month on Cable/Internet/Cell Phones...it should all be...

Pretty Simple

No?

Burp

Novel Synthesis of difunctional halo organo noncarbon Group IV main group element amides

Ah ah ahhhhHHHHH aHHHHHHHH ahhhh AHHHHHHHHHH


"...help me.... I'm My Brain is meltttttinnnnngggg...."

And Then There Was One One Third

A Shadow Of The Ones That Went Before Me...


From late 1959 until 1980 there were three men running around on this planet, with the same lineage, sharing the name Virgil Raymond Rogers.

The Senior Virgil was born in Kentucky in 1912 and passed away way too young at the age of 68.

Virgil Jr., my father, made it from 1932 until this day, May 5th in the year 1996 when he succumbed to Scleroderma after a short illness at the age of 63.

I, Virgil III, as of about 9 AM Eastern standard time this morning will have lived for 13 years since my beloved Dad's passing, and doing the math I see by coming up on age 50 myself this year that based on my history I'll be lucky to make it as far as the first two Gentlemen named Virgil did.

Regardless of my plight, I miss them both, and each day in spite of the errors I've made and detours I've taken to date on this planet I pretty much try my best to emulate both of them--falling way short historically but still using them as my example none the less.

Things definitely aren't perfect, but they're most definitely better because of them.

Miss you Dad...

Global Warming Climate Change?

I'd Say Someone Needs Their Diaper Changed...


So I'm cruising down Drudge Report this morning trying to decide what disease, pestilence and/or other natural disaster--floods, hurricanes, wild fires, or earthquake--to worry about on a rainy Spring day (oops...I forgot Tsunamis) when I came across a link to this NY Times Article which mentions that the sniveling, booger eating, pants wetting eco-friendly tree huggers are having meetings and discussions about their image with "the Public."

Seems that in spite of their best efforts at stirring up a climate controversy with "the Public", and in spite of their successful efforts to get most of the people on the socialist left side of the Political Spectrum (read that California and New England) on board following Owl Gore, many regular Americans living in Ozark, Alabama and Eastern Bejesus, Arkansas still just have a hard time getting riled up enough about CO2 emissions and Cows burping and farting.

Seeking to Save the Planet, With a Thesaurus
By JOHN M. BRODER
Published: May 1, 2009

WASHINGTON — The problem with global warming, some environmentalists believe, is “global warming.”

The term turns people off, fostering images of shaggy-haired liberals, economic sacrifice and complex scientific disputes, according to extensive polling and focus group sessions conducted by ecoAmerica, a nonprofit environmental marketing and messaging firm in Washington.

Those two paragraphs, Ladies and Gentlemen, represent possibly the most profoundly true, honest group of words I've ever seen published in the NY Times on the subject of "Global Warming."

They are in fact stating what to me is the obvious truth, in as much as to date "Global Warming" has served as a cottage industry for politicians, psedo-scientists, and citizen do-gooders who don't have anything real and tangible to worry about in the world.

Shaggy haired or not, these people are generally self described liberals. They most likely are also closet socialists no matter how loudly they scream the word "progressive" at you when you call them liberal.

As to common sacrifice, they're also willing to deliver that to everyone but themselves in the form of taxes and higher energy costs, and the resulting increased cost of consumer goods, while the most visible among them--the Owl Gores of the planet--live in 40,000 square foot houses and fly in private jets from city to city and Green Event to Green Event in order to wag their green fingers at the dumb/dizzy "climate change" followers demanding support.

Thing is, if they can't get you on their eco-friendly bandwagon voluntarily, they will take the Government and force you on board by changing the law and eliminating your choices to buy or make or do things they don't agree with.

They'll sanction killing babies in the womb within the first 6 months of life, but YOU have to change the refrigerant you use in you car Air Conditioner.

And YOU can't buy heat resistant paint in California for your bar-b-que grill because the Spotted Owl or the Snail Darter might get a rash on their testicles.

Silly crap like that makes them feel like they're making a difference in the ambient temperature on May 3rd in Knoxville, Tennessee or how much rain falls on St. Simons Island in December.

And as to the "complex scientific disputes," they don't want to have any of discussion and they don't want to read reports that don't agree with what they've already decided is true.

The fact is that they are losing the discussion when it comes to the "science"--thus the reason for them referring to the ongoing process as a dispute--and thus them wanting to change the subject because...

THE DATA JUST ISN'T THERE TO SUPPORT THE LEFT'S ARGUMENTS AND CURRENT POLITICAL AGENDA.

And the computer models which they claim originally predicted and/or continue to predict significant man-made influence on the climate have proven to be flawed if not outright false. If you run the same models for fifteen years and then compare the predictions from fifteen years ago with the actual temperature today (fifteen years later) the MODELS WERE WRONG.

So why would you continue to clamor and raise heck about "Global Warming" predictions in 2010 or 2020 when today in 2009 things have gone BACKWARDS in temperature about 1 degree F?

You see, in the world of the sniveling, booger eating, pants wetting tree hugger, an issue doesn't have to make sense or have scientific data to support a given hypothesis, it just has to FEEL GOOD.

And if you can cripple American interests in the process, or at least raise some money you can take credit for handing out to people that didn't earn it both domestically or internationally, then in a liberal's mind their life has some meaning...and if they get to park their Lexus in a parking deck on Capitol Hill in DC and enjoy security provided by the Secret Service for the rest of their life in Suburban Maryland or northern Virginia all the better.

In spite of these fundamental flaws in the basis of the "Global Warming" movement, I bet that if you walk into a grade school today you'll find that EVERY SINGLE TEACHER AND NEAR 99% of the children we've handed over to the public government schools honestly believes in and is afraid of "Global Warming."

And that, boys and girls, is just a crying shame...

Just Sittin' Around Scratching My Backside Head

World "Goings- On" Make Everywhere On Me Itch...


I've half a mind to run out and buy myself a Pig this morning.

Not just any Pig mind you...I want a FANCY Pig if it's going to live at my house.

Mostly likely something of the Miniature Potbellyed variety--and those don't come cheap...something in the $1000 range for a 2 pound piglet.

"But Virgil," you ask..."don't you know about the world ending because of the media induced 'Swine Flu Epidemic?' "

"Heck, they're diverting planes from DC to Boston and the Vice President's saying stay off the planes in the first place and schools are closing and people are walking around with funny masks and the media and the CDC are warning of a Pandemic and AAAAHHHHHH AaaaaaaHhhhhhh
AaahhhhHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH AaaaaahhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AhhhhHHHHHHH....

(taking a big breath here boss....)

"Jesus Christ and Elvis on a Bicycle"...can't we all just get a grip here for five minutes people?

It's the Flu...

THE FLU

Comes around every year in some variety or strain or form, and every year some people in the third world and some 100 year old retired school teacher in Paduca, KY dies from it, and then the world goes on without interruption.

The liberals blame the deaths on insensitive greedy Republicans that resent paying extra taxes and Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton charge racism and demand a new government program and the people at the Centers for Disease Control just sit around shrugging their shoulders and saying "we're on top of the situation" while they squint their eyes looking serious...

And another thing...

Remember that in recent year's past it hasn't been "the Flue" or this years variety of "the Flu" that's been the story, it's been the Government induced SHORTAGE of FLU Vaccine that's been the issue, and that caused the media to hyperventilate and Mothers to duct tape over the heads of their children and refuse to send them to school and daycare?

So this year (and last year) there was more than enough Flu vaccine to go around, so I think the media--not having the story for the Thanksgiving/Christmas news cycle--pulled the Flu story out of it's Butt and flopped it into the front page headlines to give them something to write about and hoping that their beloved President Obama and the Obamarama Nation of liberal government idiots could be seen in a good light handling the non-problem.

Somebody tell me I'm wrong here.

This is a bullshit story...or more correctly...a Pigshit story...stirred up for NOTHING.

It will accomplish nothing to freak out about the prospect of catching this years variant of the creeping crud.

And another thing...this Virus is not AIRBORN.

You have to come in direct contract i.e. shake hands with, kiss, or have sex with an infected man or woman (we won't talk about pigs here) else be sneezed on by someone sick to get the stuff.

Sitting on a bus or airplane breathing the same air as Typhoid Bob/Suzy won't get you ill.

Now will you please go make some coffee and read the morning paper and let me calm down a little please?

I'm getting too old to have to kick everyones asses for stupidity but the world just keeps on tempting me...

Refute This Story Intelligently

You Can't...

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'Her parents beamed.'Wow...what a worthy goal.'

I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that.

You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.

Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?

I said, Welcome to the Republican Party.

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

I'm Buying Stock In This Company...

...And Opening The Knoxtown Franchise




...Heh, Thanks Rodger

Our Dumbass Government At Work

Gazoontite...


So you're an unarmed US Border "Customs Agent" who's job it is to stand around in the swell of traffic each day at the US/Mexican border crossings.

And you know that somewhere in Mexico the swine pigs members of the Porcine Population are busy transmitting their flu to the native human population.

People are sick and some are dieing.

What does your employer...the US Government led by Obama and the Obamaramas do?

The union says Customs and Border Protection officers carry masks in their pockets and wear them only when they encounter someone with swine flu symptoms.

The full story's here...

So how do I...a prospective border agent...tell if someone has swine flu symptoms--Shove a giant rectal thermometer up every ones butt to take their temperature?

How about just letting me WEAR the mask I paid for with my own money?

Stupid Democratic Buearucratic ASSwipes...can't live with 'em, can't vote without a few slipping through the cracks...

New Cell Phones!!!!!!

And A New Phone Carrier To Boot...


I've mentioned here on the blog many, many times in the past that I'm a dinosaur cell phone user.

I've had a cell phone since 1990.

Four Five different models and two different carriers to date.

I have had a $600 cell phone bill for a single month and I've paid over $100 for one marathon cell phone call back when the Cell Phone companies charged you $3.95 for "Roaming" and over a dollar a minute when you were outside your home area.

In that call I "Roamed" throught THREE different cell coverages areas in South Carolina on I-85 in less than an hour of calling.

How far things have come from those early days when I had a phone in a "bag" with a two pound lead acid battery that could start a motorcycle.

Today pre-teens call the department of family services if their parents refuse to give them a cell phone, and most kids can type text faster with their thumbs than I can write using ten fingers on two hands.

Heck...most Democrats believe that a cell phone and free wireless Internet is spelled out in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights and before Obama and the Obamaramas are through I'll probably be able to make a phone call and check E-mail anywhere on the planet.

Except it won't really be free for people like me because there will be a substantial TAX hidden or unhidden somewhere in my life demanded to provide payment for electronic and information infrastructure delivered to hobo's, bums, and idiots spending their time texting the words " 'Sup?' " and "ROGL" and "OMFG."

I guess I should be happy that people living under bridges and overpasses share the same communication capabilities with soccer moms who leave the house talking on their cell phone and never hang the dang thing up over the next two hours as they walk the isles of the local grocery store and proceed through the checkout describing their lives on a boring play by play basis to their girlfriends.

So any way, my re-emergence into the profession of independent consulting engineering on a daily basis has forced me to re-evaluate our cell phone situation here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

In all of our travels over the past couple of months I've noticed something...or at least something I had noticed previously started being more than a little bother and occasional inconvenience.

The way things went in our travels last week made me feel a little more like I was this guy holding his shoe to his head:

You see, after a zillion years as a Bellsouth Mobility customer, then a Cingular customer in the 1990's and early 2000's after the two companies merged, in late 2005 I made the executive decision to go with T-Mobile because my Forensic Injuneering associate also used their service and they had free "Mobile to Mobile" service.

We also got two Motorola Razors and a big rebate to sign up and we've lived with the service ever since--except I had to replace my phone with a crappy Nokia at some point in the process.

So any way, today finds us having virtually ZERO phone signal at the areas on the Florida Panhandle and the Georgia Coast where we like to visit regularly, and in the past three years cell phone technology has matured in areas where I can no longer tolerate not having Internet/E-mail capability while spending four out of the past six weeks on the road on business/vacation.

Thus after much consternation, discussion with fellow cell phone users, and consideration last night I went over to Letstalk.com and picked up not one but TWO LG Dare touchscreen Phones for get this...

Zero Dollars with a two year contract with Verizon after waiting on a $69.00 mail rebate.

There was a $70.00 connection fee however, but they allowed us to "Port" our existing phone numbers--neither of which are Knoxtown numbers--over to the new phones.

By Friday I hope to have the new phones in hand and by next week we should be taking pictures and surfing the Internet and dancing on air after a couple of years just tolerating the service and equipment we had because I'm lazy and a tight wad in some areas of my life.

The Media Will Be The Death Of Me

Less Than TWO Days Undoes Nine...


I was so calm and relaxed on the way home in the car on Monday I actually noticed the change in my spirit.

I hadn't had a good verbal or written rant in a week because I didn't sit and watch the news on TV and stare at a computer screen for 12 or 15 hours each day, and it made me just plain FEEL GOOD.

I actually had FINGERNAILS for a change instead of stubbs worn off from chewing on them.

Then I come home and by looking this blog you can probably also tell that my fingernails are GONE.

I was happy to get back out of the dark ages of computer connectivity and look where it got me?

I'm sitting here yelling and screaming at the computer about things which shouldn't be happening and that I can't do anything about...but it drives me crazy when I miss finding out that it's happpening in the first place.

Sitting around on the internet all day--often times I know about stuff before it's reported on Fox News or even Drudge Report.

But what good does it do?

Lets me be pissed off for an extra half day rather than waiting for the newspaper to tell me on page five?

I don't know people...I think I need to make some changes 'round here.

What form they will take I don't know...stay tuned to this channel for developments...

Lieing [sic] Idiot O' The Day

I Give You Pennsylvania's Senator Arlen Sphincter Specter


WASHINGTON (AP) - Veteran Republican Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania disclosed plans Tuesday to switch parties, a move intended to boost his chances of winning re-election next year that also will push Democrats within one seat of a 60-vote filibuster-resistant majority.

"I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans," Specter said in a statement posted on a Web site devoted to Pennsylvania politics and confirmed by his office. Several Senate officials said a formal announcement was expected later in the day or Wednesday.


(That from this article here: http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D97RJAG80&show_article=1)

But Arlen... what about this quote from the Keystone State's Senator in an interview on March 17th with The Hill Blog:

[Democrats] are trying very hard for the 60th vote. Got to give them credit for trying. But the answer is no.

I'm not going to discuss private talks I had with other people who may or may not be considered influential. But since those three people are in the public domain, I think it is appropriative to respond to those questions.


I am staying a Republican because I think I have an important role, a more important role, to play there. The United States very desperately needs a two-party system. That's the basis of politics in America. I'm afraid we are becoming a one-party system, with Republicans becoming just a regional party with so little representation of the northeast or in the middle atlantic. I think as a governmental matter, it is very important to have a check and balance.

That's a very important principle in the operation of our government. In the constitution on Separation of powers.

See people...this pandering moron has lived in the Senate for FIVE TERMS as a so called "Republican" undermining everything the GOP tried to do when things were close--just like voting for the latest "stimulus bill" this winter, because the idiot never has been and never will be a true Republican except in the Jack Murtha Pennsylvania Rust Belt "Pittsburg's loosing union jobs" sense.

Now instead of sticking with the party that put this slimy SOB rectum and esophagus in office for the past going on THIRTY years of pandering and fence sitting, when it comes down to re-election or sticking with the "blurry principals" which the balance of the "Republican party" have managed to not ignore or trample or change this SOB decides to admit that he's really a closet Democrat.

I hope the voters of PA shove something into his neither regions and sit his 79 year old wrinkled ass afloat on his "Hoverround chair" on a leaking inflatable boat in Lake Erie come November 2010.

And he can take John McCain and all of the other "independent" "outlaw" "nonconformist" so-called Republican "congresspersons" with him.

Dammit...

Our President Is A Dumbass?

Or At Least His Administration Is...

So the Obamarama's think that it was a good idea to fly Air Force One, chased by a fighter jet, at about 1500 feet over NY City without warning:

Here's a link to the story...

And here's a YouTube video...

I'm sorry people, but if you don't see some problem with silly ignorant crap like this happening because people elected to run the ENTIRE COUNTRY don't have a clue...

Crap like this just keeps on happening over and over and over and OVER. If Obama's people can't even handle scheduling a "photo op," do YOU really trust him with your defense and your WALLET?

(feel free to fill in the rest of this posting because I'm going to insult EVERY ONE'S sensibilities if I continue writing this morning...)

Home

Ahhhhhh...FAST INTERNET


After staying an extra day on our little island, we just walked in here to the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennesse River having completed the 8 hour trip from the Georgia Coast in 478 minutes including gas and pee stops.

Time to check E-Mail and go eat some Mexican food.

I may just sleep with my keyboard tonight.

Three Credit Card Transactions Later...

I HATE Starbucks....

What a &%#@ cluster #$*& it is trying to use Starbucks for 15 minutes of Internet access.

It took me 45 minutes this morning to log on because "I hadn't had a 'Qualifying' transaction on my account in the past 30 days."

Apparently somewhere in the fine print AT&T and Starbucks have decided among themselves that if I'm not some sort of yuppie coffee shop denizen that lurks around the espresso machine at all hours of the day and night (read that--I have high speed Internet at my house and don't live under a bridge or in a homeless shelter or commune) that they can take my money and then make me jump through all kinds of hoops in order to check e-mail every two months.

Can you believe that sort of crap? No wonder Starbucks is closing down stores and laying off people.

Any way, since I hadn't been to a Starbucks since the last time I was here on our little island six weeks ago my TEN DOLLAR Starbucks card wouldn't let me into the Internet without "verifying my e-mail address."

Since I couldn't get into the Internet to respond to the "e-mail" verification process, I went and bought another FIVE DOLLAR card but guess what...

Since I registered the new card under the same name I STILL COULDN'T LOG INTO THE INTERNET BECAUSE I HAD TO CHECK MY E-MAIL TO RESPOND TO THE E-MAIL THEY SENT ME WHICH WOULD ALLOW ME TO LOG ONTO THE INTERNET.

How screwed up is that?

So I finally had to resort to charging $3.99 on my credit card for TWO HOURS of access and given that I have to leave within the next half hour I ended up paying...get this

the equivalent of about $16 per hour to check e-mail today.

Thus my reason in blasting the inane feckless stupidity of AT&T wireless and Starbucks.

I say that in my opinion you'd have to by default an idiot to hang out somewhere which requires that you show up every few days just to use a service which they made you pay for in the first place.

Screw AT&T and Starbucks...

I have to go have a drink now and get back to having fun at the beach...

Dammit...

On To The Georgia Coast

The Journey Continues...

We reluctantly leave Cedar Key later this morning after adding an unplanned third night to our stay. Yesterday was spent on the beach and walking around the shopping area with the Turbo Pup in tow as the entire Island and most restaurant decks are "Pet Friendly."

Later this morning we start back toward St Simons Island for a couple of nights and a little Real Estate business before heading back to the banks of The Mighty Tennessee River on Sunday.

Oh...by the way...here's a look at our home away from home for the past three days--The Cedar Key Bed & Breakfast

YOU really aught to get in the car or on an airplane and get your butt down here because this truly is a unique little place on the ocean. No crowds, no go cart tracks, no bungee jumping...just old time Florida peace and quiet and relaxation.

Regards Y'all...

Sunrise On Cedar Key

The Moon & Venus As Co-Stars



(Click to enlarge)

And I think I can get you a really, really good deal on this house if you're interested...



...on second thought, I want it.

Smoking Sleeping In "The Girls Room"

Home Away From Home?




(I didn't name the room...I'm just staying there...)

Too Tired To Bark

But She Might Grunt A Little...


After doing this all day...







...you could end up looking like this...



(Decided to Stay on the Key another night...stay tuned for more Turbo Pup antics)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation The Fourth Week In April

Musings from Florida's "Big Bend"...


In my considered opinion, if it weren't for the mosquito's and "sand gnats", this place could almost be considered to be the perfect vacation spot.

OK...one of several I know about and have mentioned here on the blog in the past...including Mexico Beach on the "Forgotten Coast" and of course our Little Island--St. Simons--on the south Georgia coast. (we're doing all three in a week this time)

And especially if you can come in the middle of the week in April rather than a weekend like Memorial Day, fourth of July, or Labor Day.

That's pretty much how I've handled my vacations for the past near twenty years--off holiday and off season.

Of course I understand that you have to be retired or un-employed (and independently wealthy) or self-employed to be able to do that schedule, and of course you can't have school aged children in order to spend weeks of the time in spots like this in the late fall and early spring/summer.

Add to the location and schedule the ability to meet business obligations and even do business in/near one or more of the locations and I just don't know how much luckier a fellow could be in life.

Believe me I don't take my good fortune for granted, and I don't mean to appear to brag too much here but I just want to tell everyone about the places I love to visit in hopes that you might take the time to visit too sometime.

I've been all over the US and the Caribbean and a number of other places around the world and when it comes to the perfect coastal experience, I think I know a thing or two about the details.

Cedar Key today is like Key West was back in the late 1970's the first time I visited it--before the Spring Breakers and the modern ill behaved asshole tourists arrived and the Overseas Highway was widened to four lanes.

Of course by writing about it I guess I'm contributing to spreading the word and risking dooming this little place to the same fate.

But then again, there aren't any "ill behaved asshole tourists" in my regular readership. Some come on down next October and Pat Missy the Turbo Pup and I will meet you here.

Time now to head on over to the dock to get on a boat for a few hours touring the outer "Keys."

Turbo Pup Vacation Pics

Fancy Dining On Two Coasts...


Mexico Beach at Sunset:





Then a late Lunch on the water with Mom and Dad on Cedar Key:




Time to go wander around the island Key some more...

Good Vibrations Vacation

Internet Hell...


Well, as our stay on the Florida Gulf Coast ends, I'm happy to report having a GREAT business meeting yesterday morning, a good afternoon in the sun, and dang fine food for all three meals during the day.

I put a dent in some oysters and part of the Grouper population while I was here, but from a business/Internet standpoint I'm glad to be getting out of what I call "Internet Hell" for the past couple of days.

The little Inn we're staying in on the beach only has 16 rooms and as far as their network support and Internet connectivity capabilities they only have 16 brain cells as when you ask about connectivity "ISSUES" they just blankly respond...

"we got wireless..."

I managed to pirate my way into someone else's nearby unsecured Linksys network sporadically on Sunday evening and a little Monday morning, and finally tonight I got through again thus the source of this posting.

As a result, I checked over at Cedar Key about the next two night's accommodations and found out the little 1960's vintage waterfront hotel over there also didn't have Internet.

WTF?

I had to cancel that reservation and spend AN EXTRA $100 for two nights in a "Pet Friendly" Bed and Breakfast away from the water in order to find somewhere on that island which had high speed wireless.

This in anticipation knowing that our friends providing Thursday and Friday's free accommodations over on Our Little Island on the Georgia Coast still live in the dark ages without Internet except for dial up on and old desktop computer

AOL

...aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH

I can't possibly live for four weekdays without decent internet...and Thursday and Friday will be spent with twice daily visits to Starbucks to check E-mail and the news.

So any way...wish us luck as we continue on our journey east across Northwest Florida and I'll try to not bust a blood vessel or go into Internet withdrawal in the mean time.

Regards Y'all

Live From LA

The Cross Country Turbo Pup Rides Again...


Well, we got the first 6 1/2 hours behind us today, arriving mid afternoon in time to get a little work done and grab some Mexican food for dinner.

After lunch tomorrow we'll be moving on south to the coast...

apparently in the rain.

At least for a piece of a day or two.

That's OK though, because last trip we enjoyed near perfect weather for the entire 17 days and the odds were going to catch up with us at some point eventually.

Ya'll have a lovely weekend...what's left of it...

The Turo Pup's Big Adventure

Another Swing Through The Southeast US


Just in case you couldn't tell by the light blog posting the past couple of days...I've been busting Butt here at the Turbo Pup compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River the past week catching up on personal stuff and cleaning up some professional details in anticipation of making yet another Spring trip.

You see, early Early EARLY Saturday morning we're going back on the road again for another 1,500 mile adventure.

The Turbo Pup's lockers and sea chests are packed and staged by the kitchen door for loading into the car.

And Pat's got a new paint job on her toe nails and finger nails...

and ME?

I'm trying to get my scraggly unshaven visage together along with my laptop computer and ten pounds of files and paper in order to get out the door and packed into the car trunk with some towels and beach chairs in anticipation of fishing on the farm this weekend, moving on late Sunday to attend some meetings on the Florida coast on Monday

Then we're slowly moving to the East on across the state of Florida to Cedar Key for a few nights, then lunch with Uncle Darrell in Lake Butler, finally crash landing back on our Little Island on the Georgia Coast on Wednesday to continue recharging our batteries and say hello to old friends and eat a little sea food.

We can hardly stand the wait, but by spitting the car drive up into managable daily segments with known destinations rewarding our patience I find the milestones to be well worth the efforts.

I'll try to talk to y'all from the road as Internet connections will permit...now will someone pass me another dozen Oysters and some cocktail sauce...

Tax Day

"Free" At Last?


I'm pleased to report that as April 15th slips by on the calendar, I didn't spend five minutes fooling with income taxes and income tax forms today...

Or Yesterday.

This would be because I've already spent near a hundred dollars on Turbotax software and spent more than a week of my time in January/February meeting my family's Federal and State income tax documentation "requirements."

It drives me crazy that so many people out there in the general population are eligible for a "refund" (read that "earned income credit") and they wait until the last minute to file, end up paying H&R Crock Block $55.95 to file a simple two page tax return, then pay another $30 as interest and fees to procure their "refund anticipation check."

If you're going to take money from me in the form of "earned income credits"...could you at least do it EFFICIENTLY?

I'm one of the first ones to support "trickle down economics," but spending 25% to 30% of your share of my and my fellow "upper income" redistributed taxpayer dollars just to get the ink on the forms and the check in your bank account is ridiculous.

The interesting thing is that, while by law we didn't have to file income tax forms in Tennessee--because Tennessee has no personal state income tax--we managed to fool around and let Pat's company withhold Georgia income tax from her employment severance agreement for the entire year and now the state of Georgia is balking at paying her "refund"/"return" back to her on a timely basis.

Thousands of "tax dollars" stranded in the state coffers, money that should be sitting in our bank accounts instead of theirs...and we've already been through two cycles of written correspondence and a couple of phone calls where the state's position is that it's our fault we can't justfy the "tax return" and they're not getting our paperwork and even if they have..."it will take 4 to 8 weeks for them to process our information" and get back to us.

Government Idiots...

As is typical of the government, they ignore mail and Fax messages and it's virtually impossible to get anyone of authority on the telephone so apparently we're going to be in Government bearucratic hell for the summer trying to prove to the State of Georgia and their inane employees that WE DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE.

Even before the dust settled, Georgia made me spend the time and energy to belatedly file a Tennessee Income Tax Form on Pat's behalf showing she owes no income tax in 2008, and that isn't good enough thus far so they insist on still holding OUR money.

As far as I can tell, slavery hasn't ended with Abe Lincoln's administration and the so called "Civil War" of the 1860's

I say that slavery is alive and well today, it's just that the chains and bonds which bind us to our masters are FINANCIAL rather than steel and leather.

I sure hope that you are happy with YOUR government, because if it was MY government things would be quite different on a daily basis.

I've got to go to my tea party now...

Sweating With The Socialists

Hardy...Har...har...

I'm busy this morning ...so in the mean time, instead of being pissed off at something I SAID or WROTE here, here's something I pointed out already on the Internet...

Enjoy:



That Will Be All...For now

The Silence Of The Lambs

Excellence In Mediocrity and Complacency


Amazingly enough the US Navy was allowed to fire three gunshots yesterday--Easter Sunday afternoon--on a day we were supposed to be celebrating a religious holiday instead of smelling gunpowder.

When the smoke cleared, I was happy to learn that there were three dead "pirates." and one other kid with a slightly higher IQ or a little less gumption/guts/resolution in US custody.

It annoyed me that FOX News spazmo reporter Hernando Revolver Geraldo "At Large" Rivera insists on calling the detainee and the deceased of all things "Buccaneers." I didn't take the time to change channels but CNN and MSNBC are probably calling them "Freedom Fighters" or Somali Rebels."

When the US Navy got through with them "Corpses" and "Life Prisoner" fits better I think.

Regardless of the linguistics details, in the process the brave Captain of a ship with the schizophrenic sounding name "Maersik Alabama," Richard Phillips, was a free man.

Wait a minute...

"Buccaneers"...Geraldo?

"Buccaneers" are something you see at Halloween parties or in a Disney movie.



These guys are/were different, and instead of fantasy land this is REAL LIFE.

I'd call them THIEVES.

Or perhaps ROBBERS.

Or in today's world, let's call them what they are...

MUSLIM TERRORISTS.

That deduction and definition is pretty easy for me to formulate in my mind because most if not all of the dead men and their peers, in spite of living in Africa, are actually Muslims, and their actions terrorize people who have been conditioned to believe that it's against the law to take measures to defend their own personal safety and their personal property.

Muslims found terrorizing other people = Muslim Terrorists.

Isn't that simple?

And the other people in the above equation are generally law abiding citizens of the US or other non-muslim countries which today through our modern enlightened education system have been convinced that guns are E V I L.

Then there are those which, like many of the Europeans, have been outright disarmed by force by their government through the criminalization of the private ownership of weapons.

Today even here in the US common thinking is that you're supposed to call 911 and wait on the GOVERNMENT to respond...and in the event that things get crazy and you actually fear for your life and you do take action, you risk being second guessed in criminal proceedings thereby facing jail time and/or you risk being sued in civil court because you shot the penis and kneecap off some asshole trying to take your wallet in a Pizza Hut.

Excuse me if I appear insensitive, but my opinions might just be strongly influenced by first hand knowledge gained when I personally had a 32' foot boat I owned stolen, after a couple decades earlier having a "downtrodden victim of socioeconomic disparity" pump a shotgun in the small of my back while another "disadvantaged minority" beat me in the head and broke the barrel off his revolver on the back of my head.

In neither event did the "authorities" do anything to prevent the "crimes" nor did they provide any relief after the fact or catch the "suspects"... so I say all of the Kumbaya singing sniveling tree hugging booger eating why-can't-we-all -just get-along progressives liberals should just shut up crying and demanding non-lethal measures and UN Resolutions solving misbehavior's atrocities committed by the same kind of animals which have tortured others throughout history.



...until you've been there.

Until you've had a loaded gun pointed at you by a stranger, I think you're full of crap pontificating on the acceptable measures which are legal or societally acceptable for use in defending your life and property.

Let me put this memo out there for future reference so you won't be surprised when you turn on the TV and see me describing the demise of "the assailant" the next time I have a gun pointed at me and the person isn't wearing a uniform/badge....

I grew up shooting a gun, and today I'll shoot a three hole grouping through your "center of mass"-your face and/or your chest--before you can say "just kidding" if you put me in the position where it's me and my family and my property against your misplaced, misguided, alcohol and drug induced mal-intentions.

I'll use the same level of force if you're stone cold sober or certifiably insane and you start acting up on my front porch--so don't plan on using the "under the influence" defense because I simply don't care and don't have time to negotiate with you once you point the business end of your gun at me.

And skin color be damned...I'll verify the threat, offer a verbal warning, obtain a clear sight picture, and pull the trigger.

Unfortunately this is something which many people apparently have a hard time understanding, but I see it like this.

Passing a new gun law or trying and convicting the person which took my life does ME no good once I'm DEAD.

I'm DEAD.

Dead because I was shot.

Or dead...beat to death kind of dead or run over with a pickup truck variety of Dead.

And since they're not going to pass laws making fists and boots and frying pans and baseball bats and pickup trucks illegal, I feel I have to choose my method of defense and perfect it.

My idea of gun control is "hitting the intended target--every time."

Even if they did produce a new list of things it's illegal to hit me in the head with or drive across my torso...just like hand guns in England or Washington DC...I'm pretty certain that they'll have a hard time with the confiscation of these newly declared illegal "weapons."

And the criminals and thugs that don't obey the current gun laws we already have on the books won't give up their Ford F-250's because they need them to go hunting and to get to the liquor store.

So I figure sitting around worrying about the latest laws or lobbying for the passage of new ordinances is time better spent by the lawyers and politicians--people that make their living making the law useless and un-understandable.


(I'm taking a big breath here boss...and changing the subject completely...)

So any way...if things work out on the Professional Injuneering front I'm heading back to South Alabama this weekend before conducting some more business on the Florida and Georgia Coasts next week.

In my computer bag I'll have along with me my new plans and drawings for the construction of my own personal solution to the Somali "piracy" issues:



I call her the "Mozark Alabama", and she's powered by an old Chinook helicopter turbine burning ethanol we distill on board from corn squeezin's. She'll only sleep six but everybody has a king sized bed and a private crapper and I'll handle kitchen duty three days a week.

And here's her smaller sister ships...the SS Mozark Enterprise guided missile cruiser:



and the more modern Mozark Elba PT Submarine attack boat:



Using current world standards and relying on the UN, I hope to augment law enforcement efforts on the high seas and suspect there won't be any ship hijackings off Panama City, Mexico Beach, Lake Eufala, or St. Simons Island anytime soon.

Sorry, but the rest of you out there in San Francisco, Boston and off northern Long Island are on your own...