Fat Wallets Cause Butt Cancer

Cell Phones Cook Your KID'S Head and YOUR Ass


For years and years now I've lamented that I believe that men found sitting daily on a giant overstuffed leather wallet are not only subjecting themselves to unnecessary discomfort in the car and Church Pew, but are also risking developing a form of butt cancer which originates on the skin on the outside of their calloused bottoms rather than arising from the tangled mass of their polyp laden colons (which, by the way, after the age of fifty must be "scoped" by their physicians on an annual basis.)

What I want to know is who designed this equipment anyway?

As if your butt, with which you are born, isn't more and more trouble the older you get, but (excuse the pun) our society has the foresight to come up with the wallet because men are apparently more dignified than women and can't be burdened with keeping up with a purse as we wander about our lives in our daily rituals.

Of course if you are the domestic type you could get married or get an understanding girlfriend, buy her a giant purse, and make her carry your wallet so you won't have to deal with having a giant lump on your butt in the pocket of your seersucker shorts as you cavort about the national parks and outlet malls on your summer vacation.

Come to think of it, since men tend to lose their athletic butts as they age, perhaps the solution is to buy not one but TWO wallets and carry them at the same time, thereby producing a more pronounced buttocks area for female viewing.

Maybe not...

Then there is something called the "fanny pack"...

I have one. A nice leather one.

I keep my digital camera and accessories in it.

Sometimes I even wear it, but most of the time it's just an expensive tiny leather purse which I drag around with me and my computer case.

Let's face it Guys...If we would just go through our wallets and clean out all of the old restaurant receipts and un-needed business cards from insurance agents and nice looking female professionals we've met in the process of conducting our lives we could reduce the pain and discomfort of carrying a wallet in our pants by at least half.

Putting my money where my mouth is, I intend to run out this week and buy myself a new wallet, and I'm promising myself that it will be a thin little slab of leather that WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO CARRY MORE THAN TWO CREDIT CARDS, ID, AND ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS CASH MONEY (IN TWENTIES.)

Talk about personal improvement...

Then there's the new hysteria about Cell Phones.

I've had a Cell Phone forever since 1990, long before many of today's cell phone abusers Cell Phone patrons were even born.

I've had a $500 cell phone bill before there was anything called "text messaging" and I'm proud to report that I don't "Text Message" today.

If I want to talk to you I'll call you.

If you want to talk to me you'll answer my call, or at least call me back when it's convenient.

If I want to send you a text message I'll write you a letter.

On the computer.

It might take the form of an E-mail, or I might print it out and send it to you in a stamped envelope.

If there is a stamp involved, one of us might be dead before you receive it, but I guess that it was the thought that counted in the first place.

Any WHoooooooooo.

Once again there's another news article out there causing a big flap about the potential for excessive cell phone use causing brain cancer.

Read along with me as my eyes roll back into my ever greying, ever balding skull...

When Amy Morris' twin boys, then 11, went on an academic trip to Washington last year, she agreed to give them cell phones at the program's request. But this summer she was dismayed to learn that girls at her 8-year-old daughter's day camp were using cell phones they'd taken along in their backpacks.

"We were outraged," says the Connecticut mother, who adds that the camp didn't know. "These girls think it's a cute game. But it's inappropriate, and it's unnecessary."

...

Now, there's further ammunition for Morris and other reluctant parents like her to stand firm: The warning last week by the head of a prominent cancer research institute to his faculty and staff. Limit cell phone use, he said, because of the possible cancer risk — especially when it comes to children, whose brains are still developing.

The warning from Dr. Ronald B. Herberman, director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute, was based on early, unpublished data and came despite numerous studies that haven't found a link between increased tumors and cell phone use. But it's struck a nerve among parents who already have other reasons to resist their children's entreaties.

I've said all along that I was afraid of being forced to hold a device emitting electromagnetic energy against my head in order to make a phone call.

I've lamented the loss of the old 3 watt "bag phones" of yesteryear. A phone with a display and buttons large enough to be seen with failing middle aged eyes and operated by pudgy middle aged fingers.

But NOOOooooooo, the cell phone "providers" insist that I need to be forced to place phone calls on something the size of a potato chip with buttons the size of a Chicklet, and that I must be forced to hold a .6 watt transmitter within 3 inches of my Hypothalamus gland in the process.

Meanwhile, so-called PARENTS are agonizing over decisions about CHILDREN operating high tech communication devices simply because all of the other children have them and besides...It's easier to keep up with their offspring if they arm them with cell phones?

When I was a kid, before the age when I could legally operate an automobile and further, had reason to be out of sight of my parents, if my Mother and/or Father could not walk outside of the front or back door of our house and holler or whistle and make me come running home, something was seriously wrong.

The police were likely to be involved, else some form of corporal punishment was soon to ensue.

Somehow my parents managed to keep tabs on my where abouts, in spite of my best efforts, for the majority of the minutes in the years between 1959 and 1977...

WITHOUT CELL PHONES.

In fact, the only phones we had in those days were firmly bolted to the wall in the basement den and on the kitchen wall. They did have six foot cords making their use somewhat portable, but the hours of use were limited to something between 7 AM and 9 PM, and you had to dial the phone rather than punching buttons if you expected to actually talk to someone.

If in fact the cell phone induced cancer risk is real, I would like to suggest a positive use for their power and medical capabilities.

Force these men and women who don't understand how to raise children to carry their cell phones adjacent to their private parts in the crotch of their underwear.

In my mind, it would represent a poetic form of "killing two birds with one stone"...

Survival of the fittest, and and effective means of BIRTH CONTROL, all wrapped up in one little 10 ounce, 0.6 watt package.

AM I NOT A GENIUS...OR WHAT???

MIssing Money

Windfall Ahead...


I just love listening to Consumer Advise Nerd Clark Howard who is home based on Atlanta's WSB NewsTalk AM 750 Radio station.

Clark and I go back about 18 years, and I've even called in to his show and been on the air a couple of times back in the mid and late 1990's.

I was poking around on the Internet today, looking for a way to find out about some stocks which I bought back before the house fire destroyed all of my financial records, and Clark's Website was a huge assistance in beginning my search.

One might wonder..."why would someone wait over seven years to start worrying about the whereabouts and value of stock in a portfolio?"

BECAUSE THE STOCK WAS WORTH ABOUT $0.05 A SHARE LAST TIME I PAYED ANY ATTENTION.

(That's five cents a share for those of you which fall into the mathematically impaired portion of the population.)

The thing is, the stock (I forget the name) was in companies drilling for OIL in the far East (Malaysia) and south America, and I bought it at a time when people were using crude oil as cleaning solution and gas prices were falling from $1.25 down to $0.89 per gallon.

Any wayyyy, I haven't had any luck finding out the disposition of my stock, but Mr. Howard's website did point me toward a FREE SITE called Missingmoney.com that provides a search engine for most of the states.

I was surprised to find a refund from Florida Power with my name on it left over from my Jimmy Buffet period in Mexico Beach, FL, and I vaguely remember a Property Insurance Refund check that was bouncing around a few years ago and never got cashed in Georgia.

In the end, it was nearly three hundred dollars worth in total.

Imagine that?

Why don't you guys stop by http://www.missingmoney.com/ and try to find some loose change to pay for YOUR dinner tonight

Quote O' The Day

Genius Thought From A Certified Genius...


"The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one."

"Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."

"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself."

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions."


Albert Einstein US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)


(Yes, I too had to look the word up:

equanimity Pronunciation: \ˌē-kwə-ˈni-mə-tē, ˌe-kwə-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural equa·nim·i·ties
Etymology:
Latin aequanimitas, from aequo animo with even mind
Date: circa 1616
1 : evenness of mind especially under stress 2 : right disposition : balance )

Obamarama

Another Whopper...


Take a look at the names of the people on the Senate Banking Committee as shown on the US Senate Website:

Notice any names ending in Obama?

Then why did Candidate Obama have this to say on Wednesday:

“Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee - which is my committee - a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don’t obtain a nuclear weapon,”

Yeah...I thought so...

Expensive TV With Battery Back-Up

Technology Continues To Take Over My House Balm My Ego...


Well, the good news is that I can finally spend the evening in my office at home working and watching FOX News on TV at the same time.

The bad news is that it cost me an extra $130 for the TV receiver card and a fancy gold colored RG-6 splitter for the cable signal.

After two hours spent cracking open the CPU cabinet and fooling around getting Vista and the new software to cooperate with each other, I gave up and let Windows Media Center handle things.

Now I have a 22" color TV (with remote) which cost me nearly $1,500 if you include the computer, monitor, UPS, and other goodies.

I'm a certified Genius, aren't I?

Careful... I said Genius, not accountant.

More "Inconvenient Truth"

Read It And Weep...Owl Gore...


Another Global Warming alarmist crosses over from the dark side, this time a famous Australian Scientist.


David Evans July 18, 2008

I DEVOTED six years to carbon accounting, building models for the Australian Greenhouse Office. I am the rocket scientist who wrote the carbon accounting model (FullCAM) that measures Australia's compliance with the Kyoto Protocol, in the land use change and forestry sector.

FullCAM models carbon flows in plants, mulch, debris, soils and agricultural products, using inputs such as climate data, plant physiology and satellite data. I've been following the global warming debate closely for years.

When I started that job in 1999 the evidence that carbon emissions caused global warming seemed pretty good: CO2 is a greenhouse gas, the old ice core data, no other suspects.

The evidence was not conclusive, but why wait until we were certain when it appeared we needed to act quickly? Soon government and the scientific community were working together and lots of science research jobs were created. We scientists had political support, the ear of government, big budgets, and we felt fairly important and useful (well, I did anyway). It was great. We were working to save the planet.

But since 1999 new evidence has seriously weakened the case that carbon emissions are the main cause of global warming, and by 2007 the evidence was pretty conclusive that carbon played only a minor role and was not the main cause of the recent global warming. As Lord Keynes famously said, "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?"


All I have to add is these words:

"HAH, Told you so...."

"Wherefore By Their Fruits Ye Shall Know Them"

Why I haven't Been To A Movie Theater In Over Six Years...


Apparently that British dude who appears in the new Batman movie is in deep doodoo for pushing his family around in a swank London Hotel.

Go figure.

More Crap That Pisses Me Off

Simple Things That Annoy Me...


Ever get tired having to get up off the toilet and walk across the room with your underwear around your ankles to get to the toilet paper roller mounted on the wall 5' away from you?

What about having to reach BEHIND you to reach it?

I know it's (the toilet paper) is ultimately going to end up performing it's purpose behind you, but please...

How about having to sit leaning sideways or rotated 45 degrees because some rocket scientist mounted the toilet paper roller 9" away on the wall, right beside the toilet which is also located crammed up against a wall with a 3 foot gap between it and the sink or tub?

Is it just me?

And another thing...changing the subject entirely...

Anyone but me hate being required to scroll down to the "U" in the alphabetical listing of "countries" when filling out a form to order something from an AMERICAN COMPANY on the Internet? Why should I have to watch Armenia, Afghanistan, Germany, and Tunisia scroll past looking for United States when making my E-Bay or Amazon purchase.

Finally, have you caught the latest BS up at the NY Times...publishing Obama's OP Ed while telling John McCain to "try again" when he submitted his own opinion piece.

Just like in 2004 with John sKerry, just watch as the media does their best to drag Obama across the finish line in the November election. They's be good for at least 5 points in the election, and then you'll be sorry when they tax your ass off and destroy our health care system with a liberal dose of socialism.

As for me...I'm looking at Costa Rica and Belize for an very extended vacation.

You Can Take The Hillbilly Out Of The Coal Mine

But You Can't Take The Coal Mine Out Of The Hillbilly...


It continues to amaze me how life turns back on itself.

Some call it fate.

I refuse to give it a name--positive or negative--but I do see the convolutions and permutations of the order and disorder none the less.

Take my Father's family as an example.

Everyone I know in that side of my gene pool alive before 1950 was in some way involved in the coal mining business in West Virginia and/or southeastern Ohio.

Truck drivers, mechanics, or just plain pick and chisel men (Grandpa was Electrical Superintendent of the Red Parrot Coal Mine in Prenter, West Virginia), I've seen the results of making a living under ground ingrained on the faces of distant relatives whose memories are relegated to ragged black and white photos today.

My dad, at my Grandfather's insistence, escaped the ravages and calluses of the coal mines via his matriculation at the University of Kentucky in the early 1950's in pursuit of a degree in Electrical Engineering, and later as a pilot with the US Army's Signal Corps.

That said, I still find it more than a little bit amazing that at 9:30 AM this morning I'm walking into a meeting to coordinate beginning the structural design work on a project that will ultimately handle millions of tons of...

COAL?

This after spending over 25 years designing equipment which much of the time used...

COAL as the fuel for the fire.

I, personally, am quite pleased to be on the design end of the energy extraction process rather than on the MINING end of the mineral extraction process--something that historically has shortened the lives of my kin by somewhere between ten and twenty years as I understand things.

I hope I'm up to the process, having had almost three months to sweep the dust off the 'ol brain cells and come back up to speed with the latest software.

Wish me luck...If you will...

Testing...testing..IS THIS THING ON???

Please Excuse The Silence of the Lambs My Keyboard


Sorry for my silence over the past couple of days. It's just that I can see the dust cloud on the horizon which represents the flurry of new work that's coming my way next week.

There's a scene in one of my favorite movies... "Cat Ballou", which depicts a young "Pre-Hanoi" Jane Fonda running up against a middlin' aged Lee Marvin, trying to save Miss Fonda's Bacon or a ranch or something I'm too tired to Google this morning to qualify.

My point is that I feel today much like Lee Marvin's Character..."Kid Shelleen" did in that movie, a has been gunfighter turned bar-room drunk who/whom is brought out of retirement as the plot develops to fight the battle between good and evil..

Even his horse sleeps standing up with Marvin on his back when not asked to move or accomplish anything. I guess that my 3/4 ton 4 WD 2500 series gas sucking Suburban could qualify to play the part of the Kid's horse, as I attempt to steel myself to do battle with a few hundred man-hours of Coke Plant Quench Tower and Water Clarifying basins which enter my life on Monday morning.

Hurry, hurry, step right UP, I got your steel...I got your concrete, what else could you possibly need?

"My Kingdom For A Nice Butt"

Don't Go Getting All Worked Up...I Mean BOSTON Butt...


I just came home from the local Kroger, and yet again for the umpteenth time I came home BUTT-LESS.

Lardless also, although I did buy a little can of Crisco.

And the spice called Marjoram...

Nowhere to be found.

Whole chickens...$0.79 per pound.

Lamb, Knackwurst, Bratwurst, Tilapia, ALL resting comfortably in the Fridge or Freezer.

But still...no BUTTS...unless, of course you're looking for the HUMAN kind...

Time to head out to the pool and smoke a nice cigar. Anyone care to join me?

Stop on by.

Pool, Yard, Grocery Store, Home Depot....

(Not Necessarily in That Order)


Saturday calls, and I answer in person rather than in writing.

I hope that you'll understand.

No, I Didn't Write Anything

Feeling A Bit Lazy...


House, Work, Hobbies...Blogging just didn't make it into my schedule last night. After all, it's FRIDAY and I don't have to sit in a car for almost 8 hours like I've done for the past two weeks.

Have yourself a nice day...If you will...

Things Which Only Happen To Me?

I Believe The List Is Long And Wide...


First of all, those that know me know that I never smoked cigarettes.

In the past ten or so years I've picked up an appreciation for good yet mild cigars. I pride myself in finding the decent $3 to $5 kind you buy in bundles of seconds, with the occasional $10 Davidoff and a couple of fake overpriced Cubans (Cigars, not females) thrown in for my disappointment through the ensuing years.

What freaked me out when I got started was how many "Fru-Fru" glitzy restaurants here in the south (Atlanta, Charlotte, Greenville, etc.) would have a "Cigar" list or a Humidor being carried around by the "cigar Chick" but as you were paying for or taking possession of your prize (putting it in your mouth and asking for a cutter and a light) you'd be told that you couldn't actually SMOKE your overpriced stale Cigar INSIDE the restaurant full of cigarette puffing ingrates.

"People object...", so there I'd stand sweating on the patio fighting the bugs or waiting until I had gotten home and the urge had left me.

Something like that would never happen in Chicago or Pittsburgh--at least until the do-gooder busy bodies and the politicians passed the omnipresent "public smoking laws."

On to my point, I was in Hollywood Florida buying a boat back about 2001 (again before the Florida public smoking ban) and I had purchased a couple of really nice Cigars from a local store there on the downtown strip, then wandered on down the street and walked into a night club which had a bar just inside the front door. I always tried to minimize my impact on the indoor air quality even though smoking of things larger in diameter than a pencil, flavored with artificial carcinogens, was allowed.

I asked the bartender if Cigars were OK before I ordered my wine, and not thirty seconds after I had finished biting off the tip and firing up a gaggle of thirty something self important Yankee Hags sporting "f**k me pumps" and spangled black dresses walked in and made a bee-line to a spot beside me at the bar after scoping out the room.

Two or three of them came in the door with lit cigarettes in their hands.

After two or three puffs into my masterpiece, one of the "ladies" taps--or rather pokes--me on the shoulder and matter of factly asks me to put my Cigar out because "Cigars stink..."

I complied as I apologized for my obvious inconsideration of my position in the food chain and the South Florida social structure. I broke the wrapper while extinguishing it because I didn't have a cutter with me and was forced to grind it in the ash tray to extinguish it.

$15 down the gutter, so you could understand that I was ready to tackle the "lady" from behind when not two minutes later she and her party completed their drink orders and the touch up of their hair and makeup, then sauntered off into the dance floor area to continue their evening.

Is it just me?

50,000 Hits

That's Fifty Thousand Hits For Those Afraid Of Math...


Yeah Virgil, that's the way to increase your readership.

Insult the people that stop by your website.

An insult was not what I intended to deliver with my title and subtitle, but I would like to thank everyone that has taken the time to stop by over the past 3 years and 11 months, listen to (or in this case read) the 1,827 essays I've written what I have to say, and comment to agree or set me straight.

If things go as usual, YOU might be visitor #50,000 here now.

Again, THANKS.

The Pool Nazi Speaks

Keen Insights From The Pool Deck To The Domain Of All You Land'lubbers...


OK, now I'm sorry that I didn't take a couple of pictures this past weekend to support my argument, but I have a beef this evening that most of you probably haven't thought much about once your own encounter with this form of public stupidity has passed.

Being the frustrated self proclaimed King of The Pool Nazis, a position from which I've been forced to slide kicking and screaming into retirement over the past year, you can certainly understand why I'm looking for opportunities to turn my beach and pool etiquette monitoring insights toward other areas in which all you land locked readers can benefit from.

I guess that maybe you can just call me the Professor Emeritus of Anti-Asshole Behavior (that's PE AAB from here on out).

Any way, tonight's infuriating topic...

Dumping coolers.

That's right, I'd like to inform all of the idiots out there that think that just because there is free ice in a little sweaty room full of vending machines in your hotel corridor that I (and many of my fellow hotel guests) wouldn't have a problem when you walk out the door of the hotel and dump five gallons of water on the top step of the sidewalk.

Friday afternoon's encounter with such inept behavior was the second such personally vein bursting eye-rolling event since January. At that time some inbred Moron dumped a big cooler full of water outside the Knoxville Holiday Inn Select and then drove away as his discharge froze into a bone breaking, knee scraping ice slick in the middle of the walkway within FIVE FEET OF THE BACK DOORWAY of a 300 room hotel.

In response to the January encounter with a potential Democratic voter a lovable distracted rocket scientist I asked the front desk personnel to put down some sidewalk de-icer in order to prevent a hapless injury as a result this individual's senseless behavior.

Friday's event was much less of an issue, although Missy the Turbo Pup, Pat, and I had to tip toe around the wet spot for TWO DAYS--long after this genius had returned home or moved on to torment the visitors of other lands and locals.

Am I the only one that thinks this is a problem and example of poor behavior?

What about people that like to pour drinks and/or otherwise dump various unidentified liquids out of a car while sitting in a parking space or beside a gas pump?

Should I be forced to pole vault over a puddle of coffee or gator aide or, for all I know, human urine or puppy pee, in order to exit my automobile adjacent to the front door of a retail establishment or gasoline dispensing terminal?

This whole sub-set of life's current distractions reminds me of the time on our little island when I asked the (rhetorical) question about being allowed to conduct my morning constitutional with my newspaper and a cup of strong coffee in the flower bed beside the front door of the people down the street who insisted on walking their dogs and allowing them to crap all over my lawn--just because their lovely mongrel Fifi (Fido, et. al.)is on a 20' leash and my lawn happens to also be located within 20' of the street.

Just like the dog owners, If I could I'd like to be able to find out where people like this live, mix up a giant stinky pail of slop, then show up at their front door at 4:30 in the morning on a freezing day and dump the whole thing out there for them to enjoy on their way to work and the mail box.

And don't even get me started about people that dump their auto ash trays in public places and flip their (cigarette) butts out the window in intersections...

Turbo Pup On The Road Again

Chauffeur & Valet Just Along For The Ride...


Well, it's once again time to hit the road this morning, back toward the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

Portions of Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Virginia lie in our way, but the mostly interstate route between here and there is quite scenic and relatively lightly traveled.

We'll be on the road by 7 AM, and with any luck we'll beat the evening rush hour arriving by 3PM.

Time to go back to work and rest....

MORE

MADE IT A LITTLE BEFORE 3 PM...THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!

More Fallingwater

Mind Still Reeling...

I was There

It Was More Incredible Than I Had Imagined...

Assuring Insuring Ignorance

Government Meddling (Roosevelt's Revenge) Costing A Bundle...


I really wish that I didn't have to say anything, but then again you know that some of the time I just can't resist a good rant. So juicy is this topic that I'm interrupting what has otherwise been a peaceful vacation in order to pound some sense into a few heads via my computer keyboard.

Ready?

It takes just TWO WORDS this morning to trigger my every greying, ever balding head's instantaneous leap to orbital rotational velocity.

Those words?

MORTGAGE CRISIS.

I don't care what anyone says, there isn't any such thing as a "Mortgage Crisis", unless you're an underqualified theaving charlotian government school educated idiot that thinks that like health care and retirement that the government your fellow taxpayers own you the cost of buying you a place to live before they pay for your cheeseburgers in your old age and purchase the box and the ground your mortal remains will eventually spend eternity encased in.

Got it?

Case in point, the recent failure of some bank on the US left coast called, of all things...IndyMAC.

July 12 (Bloomberg) -- IndyMac Bancorp Inc. became the second- biggest federally insured financial company to be seized by U.S. regulators after a run by depositors left the California mortgage lender short on cash.

The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. will run a successor institution, IndyMac Federal Bank FSB, starting next week, the Office of Thrift Supervision said in an e-mail yesterday. The regulator blamed U.S. Senator Charles Schumer for creating a ``liquidity crisis'' after a letter on June 26, in which he expressed concern that the bank may fail.

Poor old Chucky Schumer.

He as usual has his dirty but well polished expensive Italian shoe in his mouth, and this time the pencil pushing sliderule toting government financial weasels are blaming dear Chucky for bringing down a MULTI BILLION DOLLAR FINANCIAL INSTITUTION at taxpayer expense.

I have to utter the word "b u l l c r a p" under my breath so as to offend as few people as possible here on a Pennsylvania Sunday morning.

Chucky Schumer didn't really cause the final cash run on the bank, putting it "under fire last month from Schumer, the Democrat from New York, who said lax lending standards and deposits purchased from third parties left it on the brink of failure. During the 11 business days after Schumer explained his concerns in a June 26 letter, depositors withdrew more than $1.3 billion, the OTS said. "

Or did he?

Some out there believe that Democrats have been capable of doing things like this in the past, and by default further reinforcing their imaginary threat to your financial health and well being that they claim the Evil George Bush administration represents.

There really isn't any "mortgage crisis", unless you are the owner of a house which you couldn't really afford to buy/finance in the first place, or you're a shareholder in one of the companies propped up by the Imperial Federal Government of the United by God States of America for the purposes of assuring things like "affordable housing" and "diversity" in the ranks of homeowners.

I've got a little news for everyone out there.

Ready???

Government efforts be dammed, I determined through extensive personal observation and research that apparently there are people out there who are too STUPID or otherwise financially IRRESPONSIBLE in the way they conduct their lives to successfully be home owners.

They didn't just beam theirselves in here from Mars or land here from the Moon or swim immigrate across the Rio Grand from Mexico either.

They were most likely BORN here, and they shop in the same malls, eat in the same restaurants, and worship in the same buildings as you do on Sunday.

It's just that simple.

We call them children for the first twelve years of their lives, before they become "dependents" or teenagers or whatever you call them for the next twelve years before you can kick their butts into line and out of your basement or spare bedroom(s).

Then if we're lucky they move on in life and become RENTERS or TENANTS, only moving out of the trailer park or apartment complex when they have amassed enough financial wherewithal to take a substantial equity stake in a property and make monthly payments for fifteen or thirty years on a place to live which THEY ACTUALLY HAVE BUSINESS PURCHASING AND further...

WHICH THEY CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD.

Unfortunately, to my way of thinking (the substance and truth of which is being played out on the evening news every night), this current "mortgage crisis" or "housing crisis" is the direct result of the government meddling in the free market.

You think only mean old rich "investors" are in the mortgage business?

If you really think that way, I've got a little tidbit that's gonna cause you to spill your coffee on your newspaper this morning.

YOU'RE in the mortgage business, ladies and gentlemen.

More importantly, your retirement money and your future income (along with that of your children and grandchildren) is held hostage in today's and last years mortgage business, and like everything else the elected and appointed government idiots get involved in, if it weren't for the access to a virtually unlimited source of funding gained under the point of a gun barrel and threat of imprisonment, the whole thing would have gone under in the late 1980's or early 1990's.

If things don't go the way they promised or like, or if the heat starts coming on a little too strong, unlike you and me, instead of cutting our losses and DOWNSIZING, the government pinheads run out and re-write the rules and miraculously "increase funding" and declare the crisis over with--omitting the fact that YOU'VE probably participated in some small way in the process without your knowledge or consultation.

For example, just like being in the flood insurance business has inflated resort property values, the government insidiously continues to exert undue influence on the housing markets in fancy overpriced places like Pasadena, California and New York, NY, as well as in mundane little places like Knoxville, TN and Ozark, AL.

The problem is that even with all of their cash they can't control the basic ingredient in the process.

People--and our tendency toward avarice, vanity, and greed.

If everyone knew that you had to pay cash for the ocean front or river front property you covet, and that you had to personally finance the bricks and mortar in which you park your SUV and your boat and bathing suit under, and that if when the nearby water jumped up and washed it all out to sea or into the river delta you had to again pay cash to rebuild your little water front empire, your little water front empire would possibly never be built in the first place else it would take a substantially different form in the weeks and months after closing the loan taking possession of the warranty deed and title to the property.

The same is true for "Mac Mansions" in Dunwoody, GA and Hometown, CT, or anywhere in downtown or suburban [name your city.]

The sad thing to me is that so many sincere, hard working people and families have to sit by and sacrifice, doing the right things--the things going down the true path of personal responsibility and success,--only to have our politicians slap them in the face as they rush in to the rescue to bail out the arrogant and the ignorant risk takers who/whom spend their lives gambling WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY and complaining on TV about their lack of self esteem.

If you're what I call a "responsible homeowner", you have my permission to reach behind yourself and give yourself a nice pat on the back.

If you're in the other category of "home squatter" I've addressed, you have my permission--no...I command you to either press you head further into the bodily orifice into which you have it embedded-- else reach behind your self and kick yourself in your own ass

(thereby limiting the amount of time you have to spend reaching into my wallet looking for funding to cover your own personal share of...

the so called "housing crisis.")

Falling Water

Or is it "Fallingwater"??


Regardless of the actual name, we're heading over here for a visit this morning:



I can hardly wait, and I hope the weather holds out so I can do some outside photography.

Wish us luck...if you will...

Random Ramblings From The Road

So Good So Far...

It's really hard to decide what part of the world to live in these days, even with the advent of modern modes of transportation like commercial jet based air travel and President Eisenhower's interstate highway system.

At least for me it is.

I guess that you could say that we Americans are spoiled.

Or arrogant.

Or possibly BOTH.

Take the year 2008 for instance, and use me for an example.

January 1st found me wandering around within about a mile of the Atlantic ocean, on a little pile of sand and tree limbs that came to be affectionately known as "our little Island" here on my piece of the Internet.

But if you look at the map I'm afraid that you will find that someone long before me named the place St. Simons Island, and most of the dirt in the north, south, and easterly directions was technically called Georgia since somewhere around the 1600's when Ponce de Leon and Desoto were wandering around on wooden boats getting bitten by alligators and mosquitoes.

Then by May 1st of this same year me, my girl, my Turbo Pup, and most of the rest of my possessions could be found residing in a brick box in Eastern Tennessee not far from the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River, having been hauled over land by a few trucks in a whirlwind income induced relocation.

In 1808 or 1908 you couldn't have accomplished such a feat for any amount of money in any less time than most of a year with multiple teams of mules and horses, yet we did it (the "relocation") in only a couple of WEEKS of time in 2008.

A truly amazing accomplishment in my mind, yet many people refuse to acknowledge it can be done let alone actually do something like we did--even in the name of money or family or religion.

Now look at yesterday.

At 7 AM I could be found spinning in circles in my carport adjacent to the Mighty Tennessee River, loading Missy the Turbo Pup's lockers, sea chests, and furniture into the back seat of the car.

By 7 PM that same day I was situated far to the northeast of my previous position, dining with Pat and some of her extended family near the banks of the Youghiogheny river in Western Pennsylvania.

All it cost us to make the geographic transition was about $80 in gas and nearly eight hours of our time, something that was unheard of as recently as about 50 years ago.

But if you listen to the so called professional media, you'd be led to believe that living under the iron fisted rule of our current inept, shamelessly lying president while being forced to pay over $4.00 for gasoline would have caused me to lash myself to a telephone pole in anticipation of weathering the coming economic downturn or to rip my curtains to bits and hang myself in my living room in a search for some self induced mental relief.

Instead, I'm still sitting here, complaining about the crappy desk chair in my motel room, getting ready to wander outside with the Turbo Pup for a little early morning "business".

In another state than that in which I live, in the greatest country in the world.

Hold that thought....I have a hurried Pup to attend to...

Cross County Travel With Dangerous Animals

Someone...ANYONE...helppppp save me from this Puppy


How can this sweet little girl:



require me to maintain things like this:



To protect me from her DARK SIDE:



Pittsburgh here we come...

Jesse Jackson Wants To Chop Some Cotton Harvest Some Peanuts

You Can't Make Stuff Like This Up...


Just in case you haven't heard the story, Race Warlord Jesse "never met a microphone he wouldn't talk to" Jackson got caught speaking his mind about Presidential candidate Obama on the warm up to a FOX News interview.

Now Jesse says he's sorry, and he really didn't mean it.



But he also said this about the Illinois Senator back in September 2007.

So I have to ask, is he sorry for those comments too, or is Jesse--as I like to say--just a plain sorry Black Man?

Maybe it's that Jesse is just personally sorry if you think he needs to be?

Yeah...I thought so...

Busy, Busy BUSY

Head Spinning...Fingers Pounding Keyboard...


Between the rush design job due this afternoon, the new wooden model planked canoe kit under construction in the basement, and flying the new RC helicopter, blogging is obviously suffering.

Then there are the preparations for yet another four day weekend out of town--this time in Pittsburgh--that must be made. I'm looking forward to taking a tour Sunday morning of Frank Lloyd Wright's famous Falling Water estate there in western PA.

Time to go back to wiggling my mouse drawing steel sections and details...

Quote(s) O' The Day

More Lessons From A Great Man Who Knew Better...


"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge."

"I have a higher and grander standard of principal than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't."

"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said 'I don't know' "

"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."

"It's easier to stay out than to get out"


Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Listen And Learn

Government Saving Us From Ourselves...


First there were double and triple glazed windows.

Then there were Toilets that won't flush and Shower Heads designed to limit our water use and make you run around in circles to get wet all over when bathing.

Now there is this politician induced insanity, explained to us by of all people...a politician from the great state of Texas:




Here's the EPA's Energystar Website documenting the details of what Rep. Poe says...

Anyone else but me want to SLAP someone because of Crap like this coming out of Washington?

On The Road Again

Two States Between Here and There Home...


OK, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time to head back to work this morning.

In my usual displaced professional beach-bum manner, I personally will be a day late arriving back in the 9 to 5 grind adjacent to the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River, but any way...

Let's take a look at the score card and tally up the successes of this year's Fourth of July holiday.

1. Gutters and Roofs on the house and two out buildings...

CLEAN

2. Increased Global Warming caused by frivolous discharge of weapons of varying caliber's and descriptions...

ACCOMPLISHED WITH GLEE!!

3. Turbo Pup worn out chasing rogue Coyotes and Captive Catfish...

CHECK

4. New 32" RCA LCD HD TV installed in Mom's Den...

ACCOMPLISHED (but not without having to return one TV that was dead on arrival here at the Rogers compound.)

And for those of you anti-gun and otherwise squeamish anti-hunting individuals out there that think people like me with guns are a scourge on society, be advised that not a single feather was ruffled, not a single deer or other warm blooded animal other than a couple of Armadillos was disturbed by my adventures over the past four days.

I did manage to scare the heck out of one Armadillo, probably dispatched another one to Armadillo Heaven, and I severely reduced the population of turtles hanging around our dock which decimate the fish egg and fingerling population every year.

Regarding the Coyote reference, Pat and Missy the Tubo Pup did actually have a pre-dawn encounter with a couple of large Coyotes within 50 feet of the house on Friday morning, and I'd have blasted both of them into oblivion given the chance because like the Armadillo they are recent immigrants to this part of Alabama and they're a scourge in the life of livestock farmers and homeowners everywhere.

Time to clean the guns now...bother me at your own risk...

I've Got A 22 Caliber Semi-Automatic Chain Saw

Obvious Redneck Solutions To Life's Problems...


So I'm sitting here after the fourth of July in LA (Lower Alabama) having intentionally not purchased any fireworks in favor of spending $75 on of all things, AMMUNITION for my guns, and I was starting to get desperate for things to shoot.

Then Mother Nature came along and dropped a couple of inches of rain on the area while we were at dinner in an adjacent city, and when we got home there was a big branch on a pine tree by the pool deck hanging down half broken.

When I got up this morning I realized that I was probably going to have to drag the extension ladder out of the storage building and do some climbing with a saw.

Then I had another thought, involving my Dad's 1950's vintage 22 semi-auto rifle.

Forty five shots later and the tree branch was lounging comfortably on top of a compost pile on the edge of the property.

I've yet to crack out the 30-06 rounds yet, but thus far I've wasted a good deal of 12 gauge shotgun ammo along with some 22 magnum casings and a bunch of 22 long rifle rounds.

Trespassers beware...

About One Year Ago

Has It Already Been That Long?


About this time of the morning on July 5th last year we lost a good friend.

Our old friend Bucky (Dartmouth Class of '42) passed away early on a Thursday morning, having witnessed over 85 years of changes to his beloved Long Island, the New England region, and balance of the country he defended as a member of the Corps of Engineers in WWII.

Pat and I have made significant changes to our lives and lifestyles in the months since Bucky moved away from our little Island to live in Assisted Living in a place closer to his own family-- adding Missy the Turbo Pup to our pack and seeing me re-enter the Engineering profession after an eight year hiatus-- but he is missed as much here today in Southern Alabama and on the banks of The Mighty Tennessee River as he is in Connecticut and Massachusetts.

They don't make 'em like that any more...

Stranded In Internet Pergatory

DSL Slower Than Christmas Nothing?


Yes, I'm still alive, although technically I'm living in the stone age, brought to you this morning by Centurytel DSL Internet.

Stone age might be a complement...who in their right mind has to "log in" to their own network, has the wireless features of the modem/router disabled--all courtesy of the people in "technical support" (and I use the word technical loosely) at your Internet Service Provider.

I hate coming back home to Alabama a few times each year to find out what the so-called professionals have done to my Mother's computer and network.

It looks like I'm stuck in her bedroom with her old Compaq laptop until I can untangle the mess they've made here.

Wish me luck...if you will.

True Back Then...

Nearly Forgotten, But Still True Today...


Ladies and Gentlemen, I just don't know how anyone can take this Obama character seriously.

Apparently, a number of people are (taking him seriously...that is.)

In my mind, I say that these have to be ignorant or otherwise TOTALLY STUPID people...

people that were educated in the current editions of our Government Schools that apparently teach propaganda and Green BS instead or readin', writin', and 'rithmatic with a good dose of accurate World and American history thrown in for good measure.

Take the speech he delivered yesterday in Independence, Missouri, the transcript of which is available here via the Washington Post website.

For someone running for president, Mr. Obama sure has a weak grasp on the historical details of the documents on which our Nation was founded. When considering someone for the office of President of the United States I expect his prepared public statements to be accurate and his staff to precisely fact check the content even if the candidate insists on writing his own transcripts (something I seriously doubt happens in the Obama campaign.)

Case in point, here is a sample of one of the points made several minutes into yesterday's campaign process:

"I remember, when living for four years in Indonesia as a child, listening to my mother reading me the first lines of the Declaration of Independence - "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." I remember her explaining how this declaration applied to every American, black and white and brown alike; how those words, and words of the United States Constitution, protected us from the injustices that we witnessed other people suffering during those years abroad. That's my idea of America."


Sorry Mr. Obama, but the first lines of The Declaration of Independence read as follows:

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Now I know that I'm picking nits here, but that paragraph does in fact contain "the first lines of the Declaration" followed in the SECOND PARAGRAPH with the lines referenced by the Senator's speech.

I, personally, say that it is in fact the lines that follow these famous words that matter more in today's world, in today's perverted, mutated version of my beloved nation:


"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world."

Interesting stuff, right?

Let's look at the sentences of that paragraph that the good Senator failed to address in his political pontifications:

"That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it."

Can you say "US Civil War?"

Oh yeah, that's right, although it was good enough for the founding fathers in 1776, in the ninety years following between then and 1886 things changed a good deal on the political landscape.

People started down the long path to ignorance and stupidity that we're still perfecting today.

"Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes."

Light and transient causes?

What about government involvement with everything from "health care" to "gun laws" to "Gay marriage" to taxing the ass of 1/3 of the population to pay the cost of living, retiring, and dieing for the other 2/3's of the population?

What about talking about abolishing the electoral college and the effects of the direct election of Senators by the electorate--leaving the individual states unrepresented in the Federal governmental process?

Oh, yeah, that's right...serious stuff that people are too ignorant and/or stupid to take care of themselves.

We need GOVERNMENT to do it for us...

And finally:

"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

I guess rather than staging a revolution or Civil War the old dudes wearing the powdered wigs actually meant electing the likes of YOU, Senator Obama?

YOU, an empty suit, progressive, product of Government Schools and the "Ivy League" that is highly educated but knows nothing of value to me, my family, and my peers in society.

Finally, Obama delivers this gem of a historical mis-statement:

"As we begin our fourth century as a nation, it is easy to take the extraordinary nature of America for granted."

Try not to be confused, it must be a function of some kind of new math...2008- 1776=400 years plus, not 232 years in Obama's world.

Historically, politicians--especially Democrats-- rarely let the real numbers and facts get in the way of an idea...just like Obama inflates his own experience and credentials when it comes to being even remotely qualified to be the leader of the most powerful Nation on Earth.

Can you believe this CRAP made it into a speech in a Presidential campaign?

Don't expect to hear it from the lamestream media outlets, I would have missed it if it weren't for the guys over at Powerline.

How in the world can you overlook things like this and other serious errors in the good senator's oratory and still consider placing him on the world stage as your representative and national leader?

(I know, your busy working to pay for gasoline and the War in Iraq...don't bother you with DETAILS. )

End Of An Era

Times Are A Changin'...


I was laying there half asleep this morning when one of the commercials came on TV admonishing people to get ready for the February 2009 conversion of our national broadcast TV network from the old analog system to digital.

I guess if you've been living in a cave or under a rock you haven't heard by now, and leave it to the government to set up a "program" to subsidize or give away the boxes they mandated when they also forced the broadcasters to change the way they use the "public" airwaves.

While this milestone won't affect our household on a daily basis, I guess that I may end up picking up one of the boxes after the dust settles because my Dad left us a number of old tube type antique TV sets in his shop that he had collected back in the 1950's and 60's. I'd like to be able to turn on the power to one of those old "portable" wooden cabinets and watch a grainy picture on a little bitty round picture tube.

Then I had another thought...and as a result I thought that I would offer my own Analog TV reception enhancement kit to assist all of you out there who still get their evening news and soap operas using a pair of these:



Simply send me a large self addressed manila envelope or other appropriately sized packaging and I'll send you this high technology package:



If you're under about age 25 you probably won't know what to do with this elaborately designed signal reception enhancement kit nore will you need it's technology.

For the rest of you...

"Your welcome...I'm happy to remind you of where we're all coming from..."

Someone...Anyone...Save Me From Myself

Appetite For New Technology Technologies...


Slowly but surely over the past eight months I've been coming back up to speed on computer hardware--specifically networks and network storage technology.

By saying "coming back up to speed", I have to admit that I've sunk a long, long way down the computer knowledge evolutionary chain since the days when I had a subscription to "Byte Magazine" and boxes and stacks of "PC" and "PC World" magazine laying around in my office and lurking in the dust and cobweb covered corners of my basement.

I also hate to admit that I haven't opened the cabinet of a PC in over ten years to replace a hard drive or add memory or some type of display driver/expansion card. This from a guy that upgraded the guts of my old machines with new CPU's and mother boards on a regular basis back in the days when I was fearless and stupid with my wallet young and enthusiastic.

It wasn't really about saving money, it was the thrill of tearing a machine apart, putting it back together, and having it re-boot successfully while only having a few screws and unknown parts left over when the dust settled.

Today things are quite different.

Gone are the days when your computer came home in separate boxes with you after an evening in the computer store spent buying the "system unit", the graphics card, the monitor, the sound card, extra memory, a vertical stand for the "system unit", and possibly a tilt and turn base for the new VGA 19" monitor the size of a house and with the weight of a Volkswagon Bus.

Did I mention the lovely copy of Dos 3.0 you had to install from 57 5-1/4" floppy disks which produced the lovely "C:> prompt" once the wheels had finished whirling and banging around while 80 Mb of SCSI hard disk drive executed "Autoexec.bat" and "config.sys" upon executing a BRS (Big Red Switch) maneuver (If you're under age 40, "BRS" also means turning the power to the computer system unit to the "ON" position.)

Then, as old dedicated IBM PC users like me know, you spent a sleepless night and possibly the next couple of days scratching your ass head trying to get your assemblage of components and software to talk to each other and at least not attempt to fight among themselves over things like "addresses and IRQ interrupts."

Instead of "plug and play", back then it was "plug", "not play", and "pay pay pay" as you hang on the telephone with kids out in Silicon Valley and Seattle trying to attempt to tell you what you already knew and your Hippie/Artie Fartie friends had already told you.

BUY AN APPLE....Not!!!

Fast forward to today, and now all you have to do when you want a new computer is jump on line, click a few mouse buttons, enter your credit card number, then go out on the front porch and wait for FedEX or UPS to arrive.

Then fifteen minutes after you've opened the box and retrieved your new baby from it's foam and plastic wrapped packaging, you've connected the color coded cables to the components, turned everything on, and are checking your Yahoo E-mail with a big grin on your face and a song in your heart.

Am I wrong to be afraid that things are a little different when it comes to Terrabyte RAID hard drives using "hot swappable" components?

THAT would be too good to be true--particularly when it comes to the initial RAID format set up and the network configurations.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Then there is the new HD Camcorder technology I'm in all worked up in a lather over which makes the pending addition of video storage capacity to my massive original photo archives an infrastructural necessity.

Did I mention the new 1500 VA APC smart back up uninterruptable power supply to protect all of the aforementioned goodies??

It will arrive here in a foam lined box on Wednesday. My bellybutton's busy puckering and unpuckering in anticipation.

(please excuse that mental image if you need to...)

Now it's time to grab a shower, comb my every greying, ever balding head, and go bake the donuts make the CAD drawings...

Don't Do That

Survival Of The Fittest...


Ouch...

(of course a law suit will probably ensue)

I Knew It Without Asking

I Took The Test...See So For Yourself

You Are 0% Yankee, 100% Dixie

You're completely Dixie all the way. You've possibly never even met a Yankee!

Are You a Yankee or Dixie?

(Hat tip to reader and frequent commenter Heather whom I stole this test link from.)

Wake Up America...

What Else Can Be Said???

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C L I C K

H E R E

T O

L E A R N

S O M E T H I N G

http://www.usawakeup.org/

I'm Blind.....

Anybody Ever Heard Of A "Seeing Eye Dachshund?"


Picture me and Missy the Turbo Pup, wandering down the sidewalk toward you while I carry a sign saying "Will Design Steel For (Dog) Food."

After all is said and done, that's all it's really about...isn't it?

Good Global News

Advancements In Nuclear Disarmament...


The Good News is that I just heard that the little troll dictator in North Korea tore a cooling tower down there in their "absolutely positively Nuclear Arms free" country:

The bad news is that they replaced it with this Hip "Earth Friendly Green Model:

I know you'll be as happy about this development as I am...

Sniveling Liberals Anti-Gun Weenines Progressives Still Sniveling

Second Amendment Still Intact...


Just in case you were wondering, history indicates that in this country most people--at least someone in every household or family--has owned one or more guns since there was any history to be written post European invasion settlement.

Prior to that, as I understand it, here in North America and "New Mexico" (a.k.a. the Southwest) the Indians Native Americans produced their own spears or bows/arrows as their weapons of choice when conducting their drive-by shootings gallop by on a horse shootings.

Imagine if we were still stuck in that situation today and your local and national politicians kept passing legislation banning the possession of the common mineral Flint used to make spear points and arrowheads?

Instead of lamenting baggy pants and rap/hip-hop/rock music-- parents, pundits, politicians, and news reporters would still be debating the collection and ownership of what...

ROCKS?

Fast forward to yesterday, and I'm quite pleased to comment here about Article Four of the originally proposed twelve articles (a.k.a the Second Amendment included in what today is called The Bill of Rights) being upheld by the US Supreme Court.

Specifically, the Supremes reported the final outcome of taking a couple of months long look at the "Constitutionality" of Washington DC's strict 1976 gun control law.

In case you don't remember, our Nation's highest court had already started down the slippery slope of Judicial regulation of firearms in the 1939 legal case regulating the ownership of sawed off shotguns (i.e. scatter guns with barrels less than 18" long) in The United States vs. Miller, an analysis of the decision repeated here for your consideration:

In United States v. Miller, the Court sustained a statute requiring registration under the National Firearms Act of sawed-off shotguns.

After reciting the original provisions of the Constitution dealing with the militia, the Court observed that ''[w]ith obvious purpose to assure the continuation and render possible the effectiveness of such forces the declaration and guarantee of the Second Amendment were made. It must be interpreted with that end in view.'' The significance of the militia, the Court continued, was that it was composed of ''civilians primarily, soldiers on occasion.''

It was upon this force that the States could rely for defense and securing of the laws, on a force that ''comprised all males physically capable of acting in concert for the common defense,'' who, ''when called for service . . . were expected to appear bearing arms supplied by themselves and of the kind in common use at the time.''

Therefore, ''[i]n the absence of any evidence tending to show that possession or use of a 'shotgun having a barrel of less than 18 inches in length' at this time has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well- regulated militia, we cannot say that the Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear such an instrument. Certainly it is not within judicial notice that this weapon is any part of the ordinary military equipment or that its use could contribute to the common defense.''

OK, let's digress for a minute...

Here's the wording of "The Second Amendment":

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

While I'll agree that the old dudes wearing the white powdered wigs could have been a little more precise with their language, I still think that their meaning is clear.

Think about this issue with me for a minute, because I agree with part of the Supreme Court's earlier decision while thinking that they still managed to wimp out in the end when they reported their verdict.

Back in the seventeenth and eighteenth century...heck...even into the late 1800's when they put the Confederate Army together, when called to arms men people showed up at the courthouse square and the local armory with their own canteen and rifle. They usually brought along one or more pistols and a few knives on their person while they were at it.

The Sargent or the General didn't line everyone up and call them to attention only to walk along the rank and file complaining about the quality of a given weapon or the length of its barrel, did they?

I suppose that if you did show up at a muster and didn't have a suitable gun the government might manage to help you borrow one from one of your fellow militia men persons or even supply one of the few "loaners" they had on hand.

Imagine running across hedge rows and fortifications with a flintlock rifle with the stock painted OSHA orange and the words "R E N T A L" or "L O A N E R" burned into the stock?

But I digress...

I did a little Googling and found that the Army National Guard dates from The Massachusetts Bay colony in 1636, BUT....

Since the early governments weren't really into income redistribution confiscation of my money for my own good taxing their people heavily in order to buy tanks and airplanes and guns, a "well regulated Militia" basically DEPENDED on a "BYOG" (bring your own gun) program in order to avoid having to resort to throwing rocks at their adversaries or borrowing the Indians Native Americans' spears and bows and arrows to support a good battle up there in Boston or Lexington and Concord.

You know, come to think of it, that's probably where the idea of having a cannon or other artillery piece sitting around outside the local armory or National Guard headquarters probably comes from. While they had a "BYOG" policy, it wasn't very practical to have a "BYOC" or "BYOT" ("bring your own Cannon" or "bring your own tank") policy because of the cost and inconvenience.

I suspect that back in 1776 the cannon sitting out by the sidewalk actually worked, and was subject to actually firing a few cannon balls in anger or on the fourth of July instead of having its barrel filled with concrete or hosting a birds nest each summer.

Today all those old rusty guns do is give the local "Vets" and "Vet Wannabes" a place to stand around and slosh cheep Scotch and Bourbon on their shoes while telling wildly animated stories about their days spent mobilized with the Alabama National guard in the wilds of Ft. Rucker's Officers' Club.

Also, today, if you actually tried to own your own Cannon or Tank, you'd most likely find an image of yourself being broadcast on the local 11 O'clock news being dragged from your home by the local SWAT team while the "professional media" described your arsenal of semi-automatic weapons found in your bedroom under your Lynyrd Skynyrd album collection.

So any way, if my six guns were residing here with me on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River rather than hiding on the farm in Alabama, I'd take them all out of the cases, boxes, and other resting places and pet them and clean them in a reassuring manner.

I absolutely believe that the Supremes got it half right in their 5-4 decision (having left the door open for further consideration and limitations in the future.)

The Courts and the other members of law enforcement need to spend more time enforcing the existing well founded laws, punishing people that commit crimes with guns--handguns or those of the BB variety--and less time trying to take guns of any shape, form, caliber, barrel lenght, or other description auto loading or otherwise out of the hands of upstanding law abiding citizens.

Just imagine if Owl Gore had been elected in 2000 and instead of Roberts and Alito we had a couple of the idiots currently sitting on the United States District Court for the Northern District of California residing on the US Supreme Court today?

World disorder and high gas prices aside...THINGS COULD BE A LOT WORSE... in this Redneck's considered opinion.


That will be all...for now...

My Oculus Dexter Is Overlooking My Oculus Sinister

(My Right Eye Offends Me...Or Something Like That In Latin...)


OK, excuse my Latin this morning, although I do know that "Oculus Dexter" and "Oculus Sinister" in Latin means right eye and left eye respectively.

The other thing that I know is that twelve to fourteen hour days spent sitting in front of a couple of computer monitors is starting to take it's toll. Thank God I have a 22" flat screen on the CAD machine at work, and my HP notebook is a 17" wide screen--in the old days that amount of time spent looking at a crappy low res 13" monitor I'd have already gone blind by now.

Regardless, I have two deadlines--one Friday and one Monday coming up and the rhetoric is getting shrill from both the Client and my own management about the ramifications of missing either milestone.

Problem is, I'm currently the last cog in the chain of gears forming our twirling "engineering transmission" and all I can do is wait for information to flow into my workspace so I can digest it and convert it into calculations or drawings.

As of yesterday the layout of almost two thirds of a mile of giant round duct work was still changing. And the as built's of the old Electrostatic Precipitator that's been finished and on line for nearly a year now--playing second fiddle to the aforementioned duct system.

Time to grab a shower and head into the office before the phones start ringing and the sun comes up and reminds me of the sun tan I don't have this year.

Two Door Knobs Short Of A Full Load

Cursed By Home Depot Inventory Control...


I've just made my fifth...no...make that FIFTH trip to Home Depot looking to complete the new door installation project that began several weeks ago.

Usually I say that any given project requires three trips to the home improvement store:

One trip to buy what you THINK that you need.

A second trip to go back and buy the stuff that you REALLY needed in the first place.

And then one final trip to return all of the crap you bought that you didn't need in the first place or even in the end.

I sometimes just keep the left over stuff. Some day I'll open my own mini Home Depot store in my basement.

Any way...I have four new doors with four new knobs right now, and then I have an entry closet door and an office door that have 2-1/2" peep holes midget high.

Dang it...

Due To Circumstances Beyond My Control

Today Is Officially Cancelled...


Well..maybe not...Feel free to entertain yourselves while I do some overtime.

Classic Carlin

I'm Lazy This Morning...


Here, take a look at one of George's classics:

George Carlin

He's Making More Room For More "Stuff"...


"Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it."

"Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."

"If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor."

"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

"Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?"

"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

" Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr."

"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."

" The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

"Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying."

"So far, this is the oldest I’ve been."

"I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it."

You didn't have to agree with everything he said or how he said it, but he was funny...I don't care who you are...




R.I.P. Mr. Carlin (5/12/37-6/22/08)

Are You an A**Hole?

You Know Who You Are...

I was just watching the start of today's NASCAR race out on the Left Coast in Sonoma, CA.

First I thought it sucked that the PA announcer actually has to ask people to stand and remove their hats for the prayer and singing of our National Anthem.

Then again...the beer and tequila has taken effect and most good ole boys with any sense and rasin' will comply when reminded.

When the TV camera panned through the crowd I saw a bunch of men who were obviously too important ( or just plain stupid) to take off their hats.

MY ever greying, ever balding head looks pretty bad on it's best day, and it certainly looks even worse when I've had a hat on and sweat my way through whatever process I've elected to undertake at a given moment, but...

NO ONE is important enough to leave their hat on while others are speaking to their Maker and saluting the flag of the country that guarantees your right to be a stupid freaking A**hole.

DAMMIT

That will be all...for now...