The Pubic Public Bullshit Broadcasting Act of 1967

Unexpected Commentary From An Otherwise Content Redneck...


It would seem that no matter how hard I try these days, I still manage to find "wrongs" in all of the "rights" government bestows upon me as a taxpaying citizen and potentially pork barrel beneficiary of our "great society."

Case in point, today's example of History teaching us lessons about our future (and actually, in this case OUR PRESENT SITUATION.)

What ended up getting this morning's rant started was a posting by my Blog friends and Idols over at Powerline which mentioned former President LBJ quoting his then Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare, John Garner's, highly enlightened words delivered back in the mid 1960's:

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted one will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.

(I offer a hearty AMEN Mr. Garner.)

They also mentioned that former President Bill Clinton's wife (isn't she running for national office) was recently quoted on Jay Leno's version of Johnny Carson's old Tonight Show as saying:
[T]ry to find, you know, a plumber, a carpenter ‑‑ we have so devalued and disrespected the work that a lot of people don't go into it, and these are not only good jobs, these are really important jobs, and the more we look at how we're going to have to retool the economy and move towards clean renewable energy, we're going need a lot of people who are installing solar panels and putting up the wind turbines and doing the work that's going to make us energy independent. Those will be good jobs that can't be outsourced. So we've got to talk about it and then act on it.

Not nearly as eloquent, but I think that we all can understand where sHrillary is going with the pandering commentary...but I digress...

Instead of moving on to other issues and ideas, I just had to do a Google search on LBJ and John Garner, and I came upon this excerpt from the launch of what we know today as PBS, the Public Broadcasting System. (In the old USSR and in China today I think they call it "State TV."

Here is the text of that speech in it's entirety, with LBJ's words in italicised blue, and my highly enlightened commentary posted in Green for my own edification and your potential enjoyment...

November 7, 1967

Secretary Gardner, Senator Pastore, Chairman Staggers, Members of the Congress, Cabinet, ladies and gentlemen:

It was in 1844 that Congress authorized $30,000 for the first telegraph line between Washington and Baltimore. Soon afterward, Samuel Morse sent a stream of dots and dashes over that line to a friend who was waiting. His message was brief and prophetic and it read: "What hath God wrought?"

Every one of us should feel the same awe and wonderment here today.

For today, miracles in communication are our daily routine. Every minute, billions of telegraph messages chatter around the world. They interrupt law enforcement conferences and discussions of morality. Billions of signals rush over the ocean floor and fly above the clouds. Radio and television fill the air with sound. Satellites hurl messages thousands of miles in a matter of seconds.

Today our problem is not making miracles--but managing miracles. We might well ponder a different question: What hath man wrought--and how will man use his inventions?

(so good so far...)

The law that I will sign shortly offers one answer to that question.

(get your boots on...here it comes)

It announces to the world that our Nation wants more than just material wealth; our Nation wants more than a "chicken in every pot." We in America have an appetite for excellence, too.

Say What??

A mule in every pot?

...a 40 acre plot???

wait...I got it...40 acres and a mule?

No, no hang on...

OK...you tell me what I want...Free Wireless Internet...somebody call Owl Gore...

Awwwwww...I give up.

While we work every day to produce new goods and to create new wealth, we want most of all to enrich man's spirit.

(but my spirit is doing just fine by itself sir...thank you very much...)

That is the purpose of this act.

(ahem...let me offer my first call on Bullshit (hereafter abbreviated as B.S. on that statement)

It will give a wider and, I think, stronger voice to educational radio and television by providing new funds for broadcast facilities.

(sorry LBJ, but in a free market don't you think that if people really wanted "educational radio and television" rather than "Leave it to Beaver" or today's "Oprah" that the companies that have already paid dearly for the "right" to use the "public airwaves" would bust their collective butts producing said programs?

In short, another call on B.S....that's Virgil-2, LBJ-0)

It will launch a major study of television's use in the Nation's classrooms and their potential use throughout the world.

(sorry to give away the punch line here folks, but cutting to the chase...LBJ is telling us the real reason the imperial Federal government of the By-God United States of America got into the Radio and TV business...

You Ready?

The distribution and dissemination of propaganda and the indoctrination of the young minds full of mush that are by law required to attend our so called "public schools" which are also run by the aforementioned government.)

Finally--and most important--it builds a new institution: the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

(I spend most of my time avoiding institutions and trying to prevent myself from being institutionalized...how about you?)

The Corporation will assist stations and producers who aim for the best in broadcasting good music, in broadcasting exciting plays, and in broadcasting reports on the whole fascinating range of human activity. It will try to prove that what educates can also be exciting.

It will get part of its support from our Government. But it will be carefully guarded from Government or from party control. It will be free, and it will be independent--and it will belong to all of our people.

(ahhhh Haaaa Haaaa Haaaaa Heeee hEEE hOOOO Hoooo hooo. "guarded from Governent or party control"????????

Anyone ever heard of a guy named Bill Moyers...one of the most inane partisan personalities ever allowed access to the "public airwaves?)

Television is still a young invention. But we have learned already that it has immense--even revolutionary--power to change, to change our lives.

I hope that those who lead the Corporation will direct that power toward the great and not the trivial purposes.

(again a total complete failure. of stated purpose and mission...

i.e. the high ratings of shows like Jerry Springer, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, et. al. and etc. etc....)

At its best, public television would help make our Nation a replica of the old Greek marketplace, where public affairs took place in view of all the citizens.

(yeah...that's the ticket..."public affairs" taking place in "view of all the citizens" as Ellen and Rosie come out of the closet on national TV...come to think of it, who needs PBS)

But in weak or even in irresponsible hands, it could generate controversy without understanding; it could mislead as well as teach; it could appeal to passions rather than to reason.

(AHHHHHHH....President Johnson...you're psychic!! that's all PBS does today is generate controversy without understanding, mislead, and appeal to passions rather than reason...)

If public television is to fulfill our hopes, then the Corporation must be representative, it must be responsible--and it must be long on enlightened leadership.

(Sorry...can you spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E?)

I intend to search this Nation to find men that I can nominate, men and women of outstanding ability, to this board of directors.

As a beginning, this morning I have called on Dr. Milton Eisenhower from the Johns Hopkins University and Dr. James Killian of MIT to serve as members of this board.

Dr. Eisenhower, as you will remember, was chairman of the first citizens committee which sought allocation of airwaves for educational purposes.

(General Dwight is turning over in his grave about now...)

Dr. Killian served as chairman of the Carnegie Commission which proposed the act that we are signing today.

(Anything with Carnege in the name usually = rich know it all do gooders)

What hath man wrought? And how will man use his miracles?

(answer to rhetorical question: We wrought Iron & steel, and saw it bent and twisted by idiot panty waisted liberals with programs like PBS)

The answer just begins with public broadcasting.

In 1862, the Morrill Act set aside lands in every State--lands which belonged to the people--and it set them aside in order to build the land-grant colleges of the Nation.

So today we rededicate a part of the airwaves--which belong to all the people--and we dedicate them for the enlightenment of all the people.

I believe the time has come to stake another claim in the name of all the people, stake a claim based upon the combined resources of communications. I believe the time has come to enlist the computer and the satellite, as well as television and radio, and to enlist them in the cause of education.

OK, so if I build a rocket and manage to get it into orbit, now I'm expected to have some of its capabilities "claimed" and "enlisted" by the government in the name of "public education"?

Isn't that special...

If we are up to the obligations of the next century and if we are to be proud of the next century as we are of the past two centuries, we have got to quit talking so much about what has happened in the past two centuries and start talking about what is going to happen in the next century beginning in 1976.

So I think we must consider new ways to build a great network for knowledge--not just a broadcast system, but one that employs every means of sending and storing information that the individual can use.

Think of the lives that this would change:--the student in a small college could tap the resources of a great university.

Dr. Killian has just given me an exciting report of his contacts in Latin America as a result of some of the declarations of the Presidents at Punta del Este that he has followed through on and how these Presidents are now envisioning the day when they can dedicate 20 or 25 or a larger percent of their total resources for one thing alone--education and knowledge.

Kofi Anon and the rest of the United Nations are applauding at that idea...

Yes, the student in a small college tapping the resources of the greatest university in the hemisphere.
--The country doctor getting help from a distant laboratory or a teaching hospital;
--a scholar in Atlanta might draw instantly on a library in New York;
--a famous teacher could reach with ideas and inspirations into some far-off classroom, so that no child need be neglected.

Eventually, I think this electronic knowledge bank could be as valuable as the Federal Reserve Bank.

nobody tell Owl Gore, but I think that it was LBJ that invented the Internet...

And such a system could involve other nations, too--it could involve them in a partnership to share knowledge and to thus enrich all mankind.

A wild and visionary idea? Not at all. Yesterday's strangest dreams are today's headlines and change is getting swifter every moment.

I have already asked my advisers to begin to explore the possibility of a network for knowledge--and then to draw up a suggested blueprint for it.

In 1844, when Henry Thoreau heard about Mr. Morse's telegraph, he made his sour comment about the race for faster communication. "Perchance," he warned, "the first news which will leak through into the broad, flapping American ear will be that Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough."

(YOU CAN STOP READING NOW AS THE REST OF THE SPEECH IS SIMPLY PANDERING THANKING, AND NAME REFERENCING...)

We do have skeptic comments on occasions. But I don't want you to be that skeptic. I do believe that we have important things to say to one another--and we have the wisdom to match our technical genius.

In that spirit this morning, I have asked you to come here and be participants with me in this great movement for the next century, the Public Broadcasting Act of 1967.

This act has a host of fathers. Many years ago when I was a Member of the Senate I had a bill prepared--Mr. Siegel drafted it for me--on public television. I had difficulty getting it introduced.

I asked Senator Magnuson to introduce it. He did. I am sorry he can't be here today. But he called me before I came over here and explained to me how happy he was that this event was taking place.

I don't want to single out any one person, because there are so many who have worked so long to bring this bill into where it is this morning to be signed.

I do want to recognize, though, in addition to Senator Magnuson, Senator Pastore, the Chairman of the subcommittee who has spent many days, weeks, and years in this effort, Senator Cotton, the ranking member of that committee, Chairman Staggers, Congressman Macdonald, Congressman Springer, all of whom have been part of the team that has brought this measure to the White House to make it the law of our land.

I should like to send a very special word of greeting to Mr. William Harley and the National Association of Educational Broadcasters who are gathered out in Denver today and who are participating in this ceremony by remote control.

As I mentioned before, we are honored to have Dr. James Killian here this morning. We are grateful to him and other members of the Carnegie Commission who provided the ideas and inspiration some of which are incorporated in this legislation.

I think I should add that John Gardner came to me in the early days when he was head of the Carnegie Commission, before we brought him in here, and suggested this Commission and asked me to help participate in forming it and making suggestions.

We are indebted to Dr. Gardner for this as we are to many things that he has done to provide leadership in the field of what is really important in the world--the education of our people.

At this time I am going to call on Dr. Alan Pifer who is president of the Carnegie Corporation who has a statement that I hope will be of interest to all of you.

Dr. Pifer....

[At this point Dr. Pifer spoke briefly. The President then resumed speaking.]

If there are any other distinguished and generous people, I will be glad to recognize them. If not, I want to express my personal appreciation to Mr. Douglass Cater of the White House staff for the many months that he has followed this legislation and worked on it.

Note: The President spoke at 11:33 a.m. in the East Room at the White House. In his opening words he referred to Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare John W. Gardner, Senator John O. Pastore of Rhode Island, and Representative Harley O. Staggers of West Virginia, Chairman of the House Committee on Interstate and Foreign Commerce. During his remarks he referred to, among others, Seymour N. Siegel, director of radio communications in New York City and a member of the broadcasters advisory council to the President.

As enacted, the bill (S. 1160) is Public Law 90-129 (81 Stat. 365).

[Thanks to the Lyndon Baines Johnson Library for providing the text of President Johnson's remarks.]

Forty Years Ago Today

1929-1968

RIP Dr. King

Alabama...My Way

...and Lynyrd Skynyrd's Way


Following up on my earlier posting, here's the way the long haired Boy's and Girls from Jacksonville sounded in their early 1970's heyday when singing about the state of my birth:




RIP Ronnie, Stevie, and Cassie

Sweet Home Alabama?

The Van Zants Are Smiling


I first saw this Video clip last week and resisted posting it, but it's sprouting up everywhere.

Just in case you missed it, check out the Finnish rock group Leningrad Cowboys and the Russian Red Army Choir doing their version of Lynyrd Skynyrd's greatest hit:




Is that funny or what?

Now if they'll just do a version of "Free Bird" my life will be complete...

Back Home

Tired & Busy

House Healthier Than I Am

Seven Years Apparently Makes Quite A Difference...


OK folks, I've fooled around as long as I can up here--extending our adventure by four days under the guise of being a shrewd real estate guru.

Here's our report card compiled after our week long foray into Tennessee:

Future owner... Built in 1959....Wobbly at best. C-

Brick, wood, and sheet rock building circa 1966...Solid as a rock. A+

Translation: The new house passed the inspection with flying colors...gotta love it.

Now Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup and I have to get back home to our little island, check the mailbox, collapse on the sofa prior to setting about to pack everything we own into cardboard and bubble wrap.

I, personally, get tired just thinking about it...

Inspecting The Inspectors

Out Experting The "Experts"


I find that it's always interesting to go through the process of buying real estate.

I choose the word "interesting" today after sitting through nearly a dozen ten closings over the past twenty plus years, but things were quite different back in 1985 when I stumbled through the process in acquiring my first house.

Back then I would have, in retrospect, most likely used words like "damning", "infuriating", "insulting", or possibly the phrase "exciting murder and mayhem" when thinking of dealing with real estate and mortgage banking professionals and the associated sometimes inane processes (is that "processes" or "processi"...octipus...octipi...?)

Not any more.

I think that Pat has been impressed this week at the ease with which I've thus far used their own process to my advantage, while at the same time negotiating the nuances of our efforts using their own inane jargon and terminology.

Needless to say I've got PMI, APR's, escrows, and all the other obligatory stuff running out of my ears this morning as I wander over to watch some guy poke and prod his way around my new investment.

Wish me luck...if you will...

Stuck On Kingston Pike

Tennessee's Habit Forming


That's right...we're still in the Volunteer State this morning.

What began as a slight rain induced travel delay ended up as an executive decision to stay in town until Tuesday in order to get all the loan paperwork moving and personally attend the home inspection. After all, I brought my own flashlight and tape measure with me--heaven forbid some guy should be allowed to crawl around my attic without a little harassment in the process.

Any way, the idea is to leave town with all of the "i's and "t's" dotted and crossed so we can focus on packing and moving.

Today also represents my first foray looking into the folly of boat ownership and operation here on the Tennessee River. I'm visiting a Marina to check on storage options and possibly look at some used hulls and motors.

Of course I'm not actually buying anything until the house deal is finished, but a fella can dream can't he?

New House Preview

Back To The Future...


Well, a combination of inertia and crappy weather caused us to spend yet another day in our new home town of Knoxville, doing some banking business and shopping for odds and ends that will be needed once we load everything on a truck and make the final transition.

I guess that you could say that this place could be habit forming...

That said, I've been wasting time with Autocad drawing the existing floor plan and contemplating the modifications we want to make in the future.

Here's a view of the plan including my current aspirations and the new and improved rear elevation showing the new decks and master bath/sunroom/deck additions:




Time to head to dinner now.

Where We're All Headed One Day

?Comprende?





(Thanks for the tip Rodger)

Busy Week

Head Spinning


Let's see...what did we accomplish this week?

First, I just realized that on Wednesday I got another 270 words of editorial opinion published in the local newspaper down in Georgia. Here's a link to the PDF online edition (look in the lower right corner of the page.)

Second, we have had a WONDERFUL visit to Eastern Tennessee and specifically we really love the western suburbs of the great city of Knoxville. Maybe next time we come to the area we'll actually visit the downtown.

Third, we had our purchase offer accepted today on a lovely 1960's ranch house that's been totally renovated inside and is solid brick on the outside. By May first I'll also have a solid concrete unfinished basement in which to make sawdust and shoot BB guns and generally act like I'm thirteen years old again.

Perhaps the best thing about our future home is...

get ready...

it's exactly 3.7 miles away from my new office, and less than three miles from the mighty Tennessee River.

Needless to say I'm one happy camper tonight. Now all I need is a 21' fiberglass hull with a motor to make my life as complete as it can be while landlocked.

Congratulations are being accepted...

Dear President Bush: Let Our Military "Occupy" The Entire World

I've Got Knoxville, Tennessee Covered


Here I was, all excited and wanting to share the news of our progress, when I turned on FOX News and saw the President of the By God United States of America having to say out loud AGAIN what a stupid move it would be to pander to Pelosi and Murtha et. al. by retracting our men in uniform back to Ft. Bragg and Savannah and Ft. Rucker for election pandering purposes.

Why not close down Korea, Japan, Germany, and the rest of the %$#@& planet while we're at it and build a giant "force field" dome over North America.

Call me a neo-whatever...

Meanwhile, since I have to move back to the "real world", I'm starting my own list:

Incognito, shirtless, brandishing a firearm...standing in MY driveway in Farragut...HALT...WHO GOES THERE...FRIEND OR FOE?

(BTW...I think we're buying a house here this afternoon)

Live From Housing Hell

You want Fries With That???


The good news is that my eyes haven't glazed over yet, but the bad news is that we're still facing at least another day and one-half looking at houses in areas of what is known as "West Knoxville."

Sophisticated places with names like Turkey Creek and Farrigut come to mind (they're really quite quaint in spite of the harsh names.)

I'm beginning to learn that choosing a house under these circumstances is a good deal like walking onto a dozen car lots selling different brands and trying to find a comparable model within a given price range.

You just can't do it.

There's always some complication like a bullet proof sunroof designed to deflect meteors or falling space shuttle parts--or atomic powered air conditioners, digital 48" tires, computerized seat cushions, microprocessor controlled floor mats, or some other unforeseen variable that keeps the decision making process off balance.

At least our lovely Real Estate Agent is a real gem rather than being out of the mold of the plaid-jacket wearing used car salesman, but it's still a daunting task committing five if not six figure sums of your hard earned money and years of your life to a time-compressed decision making process.

Do you take what's behind door A, or go for the rental cash in the envelope...or trade for ownership of the hidden reaches beyond door C and risk living your life with a herd of miniature goats next to the neighbor with the six kids and the fleet of noisy ATV's and the dog that's overly fond of your right leg?

I'm thinking about staying in town at least one additional day in an effort to not rush the process.

Heck, maybe I'll stay two days.

Come to think of it, since I've moved my luggage into this suite, maybe we'll just stay here and sell everything else left down on our little island.

In the long run, that would be a great deal easier, and might make a lot of sense in the end.

Then again...maybe not.

Home Sweet Home

Somebody Find Me A Warm Place To Live...


Well, Mother Nature apparently decided that, IF we were moving away from our little Island in the next six weeks, that Winter should not be allowed to leave the area without giving us a small taste of what we should look forward to next season.

To that end, after loading our luggage, Missy the Turbo Pup (and her luggage), and ourselves into the car while facing a brisk, windy 45 degree morning, we proceeded to drive through the middle of the day to north Atlanta, braving snow flurries and even colder temperatures and stronger wind upon arrival at the hotel.

While it's still a balmy 50 degrees F at home, it's 39 degrees F outside my window and checking the Internet...yep...it's a lovely 34 in Knoxville on it's way down into the mid twenties overnight.

Silly me.

I didn't bring any long sleeved shirts, and it snowed last night in Knoxville, and worst of all...

I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS, BUT I SIMPLY REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT UNTIL THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE.

Regardless of temperature, we have a busy week planned house hunting, meeting with my Head Hunter, and a nice luncheon meeting with the new project team on Wednesday.

Hopefully we'll be heading back to the Georgia Coast on Thursday with a new address in hand, looking forward to spending our last weeks in the glorious weather on our little Island.

Crying Over My Charcoal

Easier = Better (for a change)


I had a horrible realization yesterday at dinner. It came about as a result of a modification to my baby back rib cooking process, and as a result my charcoal grill may never see a rack of ribs again.

Here's the deal.

For years I've been brining my ribs overnight, then drying them off and covering with a dry spice rub, then slow cooking them over indirect heat on the grill for FOUR HOURS.

The process was lovingly conducted at the time and expense of a half bag of charcoal and getting lots of ash and soot on myself and the surroundings.

My results are always well received--moist juicy tender ribs, but the mental and physical preparation limited my desire to undertake the process to a few holidays a year.

Not anymore...

Yesterday I brined and rubbed a couple of racks, then tightly wrapped them in heavy duty aluminum foil and cooked them in the oven for three and one & one half hours at 230 degrees F, removing them from the foil to finish on a cookie sheet for fifteen minutes at 425 degrees F just to add some color.

Dang they were good.

And the Rack of Lamb?

Some people find lamb meat to be too strong and "gamey" tasting.

NOT MY LAMB.

As usual, I went out on my own and closely trimmed the fat off the outside, then brined the rack along with the pork ribs overnight. Next I rinsed my lamb-cicles off and did a three hour marinade of diced red onion, mint, rosemary, black pepper, and lemon juice.

Cooking the lamb to a medium rare/medium doneness was easy...you simply sear the outside evenly in a screaming hot skillet, then finish the rack in the skillet in the oven at 425 for fifteen or twenty minutes.

I sliced the individual cuts apart, tossed out some sprigs of fresh mint as garnish, and even Pat managed to eat her way through a couple of sections while everyone raved over my results.

I wish I could have enjoyed the fruits of my efforts a little more, but my new internal plumbing is still limiting me to small portions although I didn't go away hungry by any means.

I trust everyone enjoyed good food and good company on their Easter holiday.

Now would someone please pass me the Mint Jelly???

Happy Easter

(Not my photo, and not my church, but I found the image here.)

Easter Dinner

Baby Sheep...Anyone?


Well, I'm pleased to announce that I'm back in the kitchen cooking this weekend after a six week absence.

Sunday's menu includes my patented Baby Back Pork Ribs with home made sauce, and since it's Easter I'm also doing a medium rack of Lamb for our small crowd of eight or so guests.

I bought the rack already "frenched" with the bones showing, I've got the Mint Jelly and fresh Mint leaves and the whole presentation planned.

Meanwhile the baby backs will spend the night in a nice spicy brine mixture before slow cooking in the oven for four hours or so to they start falling off the bone.

Ski and Pat are making veggies and Pat's also making desert, so in my limited capacity I'm the self proclaimed...

KING 'O THE MEAT.

I hope everyone has a lovely Easter holiday and safe travels.

Million Dollar Photo

And Toto Too?


Some guy managed to catch a glimpse of the Tornado that wandered through downtown Atlanta last weekend. Here...take a look:




Stolen from the Atlanta Journal/Constitution here.

.

Calling Owl Gore

Spring In Chicago?


According to the calendar, today is the first day of spring, but apparently someone forgot to send the memo to the Chicago weather guys.

Oftentimes in Chicago, March goes in like a lion and also out like a lion. An approaching snowstorm suggests this is one of those times.

Technically it is now spring, but the forecast is befitting of January.

CBS 2 meteorologist Mary Kay Kleist reports that a winter storm watch is in effect for Cook and DuPage counties, areas north of the Chicago area including Lake and McHenry counties, much of the area west of Chicago, and parts of Northwest Indiana.

Heavy, wet snow is expected to begin late tonight, possibly around midnight or in the early morning hours. It will continue to fall through Friday night. Totals of 6 inches are expected in many areas, with totals more severe to the north. Along the Wisconsin border, snow totals may be as high as 8 inches.

Far south in Kankakee County, only a rain-snow mix may be seen. During the season, 53 inches of snow has fallen in the area, and it dipped below zero several times – making this one of the worst winters in decades.

Among the Global Warming/Man-Made-Climate-Change crowd...THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING.

The Definition of Average

Highs And Lows Add Up (and Down)


One of the things that I find most interesting about having lived longer than two or three decades is the insight that MEMORY provides in keeping things like Weather (you know, high and low temperatures, blizzards, and rainfall) in perspective.

Case in point, the current heavy rainfall and resulting flooding in the Midwest.

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Residents warily watched as rivers continued to rise Thursday from heavy storms that dumped as much as a foot of rain in the Midwest and left behind more than a dozen deaths.

While the first day of spring brought much needed sunshine Thursday to Ohio and other states, authorities warned that many rivers would crest well above flood stage in the next several days.

Ignoring the current headlines, I seem to recall reading stories like this one from October 2007 about record "global warming" induced drought.

Here's their featured graphic:

Anybody notice that big dark red "blob' there in the middle of the eastern half of the map?

Notice the states of Arkansas, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, and Kentucky sitting there in water related distress?

And how's Ohio doing?

To find out, read along with me today...

Flooding also was reported Wednesday in parts of Arkansas, southern Illinois, southern Indiana, Missouri and Kentucky .(emphasis mine--VRR)

On Thursday morning, high water closed the eastbound lanes of Interstate 70—a major east-west highway—for about 4 miles in central Ohio's Licking County, the State Highway Patrol said. The flooding was receding by midmorning, but there was no estimate of when the lanes would reopen.

Morning commuters trying to reach downtown Columbus from the south were being detoured off heavily traveled U.S. 23, because its northbound lanes were flooded at Interstate 270.

President Bush declared a major disaster in Missouri on Wednesday night and ordered federal aid to supplement state and local recovery efforts in areas affected by flooding. Seventy counties and the city of St. Louis also are eligible for federal funding for emergency protective measures.

Several areas in Missouri were bracing for record-level flood surges expected to hit Friday and Saturday. Authorities were straining to keep pace with some of the worst flooding to hit their region in decades.

The National Weather Service was forecasting record flooding along the Meramec River near St. Louis. Some residents had already been evacuated Thursday. The Black, Big and St. Francis rivers in southeastern Missouri also were expected to see significant flooding.

The town of Fenton put out a call asking volunteers to help put down sandbags against the floodwaters Thursday. Gov. Matt Blunt said cities can count on the state for help as he activated the Missouri National Guard.

"Missourians should know that we are doing everything within our power to provide state resources to communities in need," Blunt said.

Much of Ohio was under a flood warning Thursday, with some areas cautioned to watch for flash floods. Most of southwest Ohio had received more than 4 inches of rain, and officials in Butler County declared a state of emergency because of the rising waters.

Again folks, I never mean to make light of the effects and suffering caused by weather and other "natural disasters. It's just that I insist on tempering my own excitement and enthusiasm with balance and understanding of the context of the situation I'm addressing.

I also feel compelled to want to point out how easy it is to get all worked up with the arrival of rain or snow, or the lack there of, then quickly forget the past in favor of lamenting the results of the current events.

Anyone that knows me knows that, when addressing our current rainfall shortages, I've recently been reminiscing about the drought that occurred here between 1987 and 1990, and continued to a lessor extent in the south and Midwest into the early 1990's (I remember because I was buying my first boat during that period) before the record setting Great Flood of 1993 inundated the Mississippi River from Minnesota to the Gulf of Mexico, in the end bringing things back to...

Get ready...

A V E R A G E Rainfall.

Get it?

Hog-O-Lanch

Thanks Steve...


Well, I finally wandered by my home away from home here on the Internet this evening and noticed that my usual meager traffic count was way above the numbers posted by my regular lurkers and the couple of relatives that stop by every now and then to assure themselves that they're not the craziest ones in the family.

Just so I didn't miss a day writing, I guess that this is as good a chance as any to welcome the Hog On Ice readers that stopped by. I'm in the middle of planning a move and recovering from some middle aged physical infirmity so it's sort of bland and boring on this side of the Internet.

Maybe I need to get on the Steve H Bandwagon and buy myself a new gun...

Wrighting Wrongs

Is The Wrighting 's Already On The Wall?


I really really wish I still had some patience left to apply toward offering original commentary and glib insight into the so-called presidential campaign.

But I don't.

I didn't even bother to tune in to Obama's self-proclaimed "race speech" this morning, although I did read the entire transcript as posted on Drudge Report.com.

Yawn...what ever...

I've voted in every presidential election since Regan's defeat of Jimmuh Carter in 1980, but I have to admit that it wouldn't bother me if I missed the upcoming November fiasco like I did the Georgia primary due to health reasons this time around.

I know that everyone should vote else risk giving up their right to complain about the results, but at least I'd have a good excuse, and at least I wouldn't be responsible for the crappy inevitable outcome. I also don't have kids to worry about screwing over with the poor management we've given our country over the past forty years.

How most of the rest of you out there look yourselves in the eye in the mirror each morning I guess I'll never know...

Just In Case You're Wondering

I Say We're All Screwed


Somewhere a long time ago one of our founding fathers--Jefferson or Adams or one of those old dudes with the powdered wigs--was quoted as saying that (and I paraphrase) "Democracy works until the majority of the population realizes that they can VOTE themselves a piece of the PIE (public largess was how I believe they said it in those days.)"

Well ladies and gentlemen, I submit that not only have we as a country arrived at this miserable point in history, but, based on the choices we're faced with in this presidential election cycle, we shall as a people ineptly race across the finish line and burst into flame--spewing platitudes of insanity as China, Iran, and North Korea celebrate our implosion and pick over our remains.

Archaeologists will likely find our carcasses buried in layers of ash and cinders, clutching our remote controls, fingers poking the buttons feebly looking for reruns of American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.

God help the Democrats for only mustering Obama and Clinton as candidates...what the hell do you think George Wallace would think today?

Nothing but a thin suit of a half assed black man and a lieing, miserable hag of a woman seriously vieing for the highest office in what was once a great land.

Regarding the Republicans and their current ancient war relic candidate du jour...all I can say is that I'm happy that I never registered to put an "R" by my every vote and still consider myself to be a Libertarian at heart. It's too bad the Libertarians can never manage to beat Ralph Nader for most of the moonbat vote every four years in national elections.

At least Bob Dole carried an Ink pen every where he went in that lame hand/arm (real war injury) while talking about himself in third person...I'm afraid that McCain not only talks to himself, but that he answers his own questions while no one is looking.

Few Original Thoughts

Sermon Transcripts For Sale


I'm just not sure what to do with myself these days...

Everything's changing, and my carefully crafted, cloistered existence is crumbling around my head rapidly coming to an end, or so it would seem.

The worst part of it all is that I am the one responsible for making the changes, and I have to act like I enjoy it when at times I'm not so sure that I do.

Then there is the fact that I have no one to blame but myself for instituting such radical lifestyle modifications in the first place.

For instance...there's important things like:

No more sitting on the sofa all day and night with a computer in my lap whenever I want to.

No more wandering around the island on my bike in the middle of the night on a whim.

No more trips to the beach or over to the marsh to make pictures of sunrises or sunsets or to capture foggy morning scenes most of the population manages to sleep through...just because.

No more bitching and complaining about the difficulties encountered living the life of an unemployed derelict a delusional self-worshipping blogger a professional beach bum.

Soon all of that will be history as I move back into the "real" world for my encore engineering tour. I hope I can make it through at least a month of getting up in the morning, shaving ahhhhggghhh, combing my hair, and putting on socks and shoes to go out and interact with real people, in person, on a daily basis.

Get this...maybe this proves I've lost my mind...

I'm actually thinking of cutting all of my hair off--nearly five years worth of growth--because it's easier to face the public with a sweaty head of 1/4" stubble than to deal with the preconceived assumptions people make about you when you run around at my age with a 8" pony tail flanking bald temples and thinning fringes.

Am I losing it?

Am I right to worry about things like that?

Do you guys out there in the real world really care about hair these days?

Then in addition to facing the weekly 9 to 5 ritual again for the first time in nearly ten years, there's the reality of having less than six weeks to find a new house, pack everything we own into boxes, and hand it all to total strangers to move 500 miles inland away from paradise.

Voluntarily...

I've never lived north of Atlanta. Now I'm spending money to move beside the Tennessee river three hours north of there.

That's right, I'm PAYING someone to move us AWAY from the BEACH.

This, after spending most of my life PAYING to get to the beach on vacation, and living within earshot of the Atlantic Ocean or the Gulf of Mexico for most of the past five or six years.

(vigorously shaking my ever greying, ever balding head)

I don't know if there's something in the water down here or if I've just lost my middle aged mind in a fit of insanity and infirmity or what, but sometimes I have second thoughts about this whole process I've undertaken.

Is it just me?

Tornados Vacuum Atlanta Streets Clean?

Weather Makes News On Slow Saturday


After spending the morning recounting the results of last night's weather related damage in downtown Atlanta, Fox News and most of the other TV media are now enjoying covering "Round II" of the events this afternoon as yet another severe thunderstorm blasts its way through the city.

During the 27 years I lived there it always amazed me how the north side of town could take a beating every spring and fall and the center of the city always managed to miss the action. I lived inches off of Windy Hill Road for much of my tenure in the area and we seemed to get a twister every two years or so--thus the name "windy hill..."

Being a son of the south I have a hard time getting all worked up over a little severe weather, as long as I have four walls and a roof over my head things usually work out OK in the end.

If you want excitement, try going through even a mild thunderstorm in a small boat in the middle of a lake or just off shore and you'll think having a house around you the equivalent of being in a stone fortress compared to the exposure you feel surrounded by thin sheets of aluminum and fiberglass.

Wait a minute...this just in...

Continuing in the perils of urban living, now FOX is talking about a crane collapse in downtown NY City, taking out a chunk of a five story building in the process.

Of course Republican and Democratic pundits will be sharpening their pencils and working up statements outlining four or five new government programs to address these hazards of living in the inner city.

Perhaps the "Clinton/Obama/McCain massive spending of taxpayer funds to make you safer from tornados and cranes program..."???

I hope you'll excuse me while I go trim my toenails now...

Not Much Worse For The Wear

Last Remnants Removed...


Well, my doctor yanked (literally) the tube "pig tailed catheter" out of my abdomen this afternoon, shortly after I tipped the scales at a measly 218 pounds.

I don't recommend the diet for the faint of heart, but thus far I've dropped a little over 30 pounds in seven weeks.

I don't know about you, but I'm glad this ordeal is nearly over with. I feel a good rant coming on later.

Stay tuned...

Meanwhile...Back On My Sofa

Slowly But Steadily


Today was sort of a red letter day on my calendar, having yet another letter to the editor of our local newspaper, The Brunswick News, published--including a little sidebar quotation featuring my name on the front page.

Long time readers may remember that I actually applied for a position working part time for The News about three or so years ago, and then ended up withdrawing my application and blistering one of the local beat reporters over the paper's coverage of a story in which I was intimately involved.

I've only spoken to the editor once since then, but I take his past and ongoing usage of my commentary as an olive branch of peace in what was once a very sore spot in my nervous system.

They publish practically everything I submit, and today's piece represents somewhere near two dozen times I've managed to annoy the general public with my sharp whit and keen intellectual insight over the past four or five years.

Speaking of keen intellectuals, I also just received the used copy of William F. Buckley's famous work "Nearer My God" that I bought on Amazon a couple of weeks ago. I haven't had time to do anything other than glance at the cover and the inside text, but I'm looking forward to spending some time with Mr. Buckley in the near future.

Why don't YOU get on line or wander over to the library and check out some of his writing? If you've never read his work, I believe you will be quite surprised at the content of his character.

Twisting The Dial On A World Full Of BS

Tuning In...By Tuning (Most Everything) Out


Thank GOD the NY Governor saved us maybe a few minutes of additional torture by resigning today.

Of course I don't expect the story to vaporize off the TV and out of the newspaper headlines, but still I offer my hearty "Thanks" shout out to "Gov. Spritz" for stepping up and being a man instead of a weasel about the matter.

Speaking of high government officials tangling with tawdry women, it seems that even our peaceful Muslim brothers in Iran aren't immune to the temptations of wicked women.

Tehran's police chief, Reza Zarei, has been arrested after he was found nude in a local brothel with six naked prostitutes, according to report on the Iranian Farda News...

Before he was arrested, Zarei was in charge of the programme for the 'moralisation of the city'.

It is alleged that in the past six months, hundreds of young people have been arrested in Iran for not respecting the Islamic code of behaviour.

I suspect that the lovely folks in Teran are likely to make the soon to be ex-police chief a little more uncomfortable than New York's now ex-governor.

I wonder what body part(s) are subject to removal in this instance?

Reflections Off A Dirty Mirror

Blurry Images From The Past Predict The Future?


Well, it's the end of day 35 in the latest episode of "Crappy Health Chronicles" and I am most definitely ready for this show to END...and SOON.

Besides being an officially confirmed addict to Oxycodone, I still have a tube sticking out of my right abdomen, a severely limited choice of diet, and I suspect that if I muster all of the strength in my body and spirit I MIGHT be able to make it from the sofa to the mailbox and back in under three minutes.

Other than that, everything is just peachy down here on our little island. Some good news is I believe that I've dropped about 25 pounds off the old pre-illness girth, and with any luck another five or ten pounds might be shaved off during the balance of the slow recovery process.

Perhaps the weirdest part of this ordeal is, although it seems to have gone on forever in some respects, it others it seems just like yesterday that I was wandering in the emergency room for the first time. There are HUGE gaps in my memory, and I'm having trouble filing away things I dreamed about versus things (conversations, events, etc.) that actually happened to me in the process.

One thing that looks the same all the time to me is the stupidity being written and broadcast in the lamestream media regarding the Presidential election. I've officially washed my hands of the process because I need all the strength I can muster just to get myself launched on the new track I've chosen back into the 9 to 5 workforce in a new city and state.

I'm just lucky things have worked like that they have and I still have a chance to get myself squared away medically--there's still a possibility that things could fall apart and I'll lose the new job because of medical issues.

I'm too dang young to be sidelined by medical disability, and I'm far, far away from being financially solvent enough to pay for sitting on my butt all day doing nothing for another twenty or thirty years.

Thank God for Social Security, and all the new Government programs...I guess.

Where do I go to get in line and sign up?

Back Among The Living

Cash Resurrects Spirits


No...I've not been in the hospital.

No...I'm not dead.

I was simply forced to take an unplanned weekend Internet hiatus since the $350 per night cottage we inhabited didn't have a functioning high speed connection.

I offer the fact that I only turned on the computer for about ten minutes over a three day period as further evidence of my mental cleansing and ongoing response to my physical maladies.

There have been days when I would have moved out of a rental or pitched some kind of fit if the Internet connection didn't work as advertised, but this weekend for some reason rest was ahead of following sHrillary and Obama's latest schoolyard antics.

On the real estate investment front, we exited the closing proceedings from the sale of my vacant land over in Brunswick. I TRIPLED MY investment on a net cash basis in less than five years...

Not bad for a amateur, eh?

I've Never Been "There"

But "Here " Will Be Much Worse If We Keep Going Like We Are


In the process of dragging around with an extra tube attached 24/7, I found this story about people in the UK crashing into street light posts:

Padded lampposts are being trialled in a London street to protect inattentive pedestrians.

A lot scheme has been launched in Brick Lane after it was found to have the highest number of 'walking and texting' injuries in the country.

A study carried out by 118 118 found one in ten people has hurt themselves while focused on their mobile phone screen.

The charity Living Streets is so concerned that it has teamed up with the directory enquiries service to test a scheme to wrap up the nation's lampposts.

A poll will be carried out on Brick Lane to gauge the response of locals.

If successful, the concept will be rolled out in Birmingham, Manchester, and Liverpool.

"Out Patient" Surgery?

Is That The Same Thing As "Shade Tree Medicine?"


I'm pleased to report that things went as expected at the hospital yesterday and I was back home collapsed in my own King Sized bed by about 2:30 PM.

Due to the serious Buzz created with the IV relaxants and the other pain medication I barely moved since then except to go to the restroom.

Everyone agreed that my own diagnosis was correct--a fluid/abscess build-up in the lower right abdominal cavity and I was smart to come in when I did before things had developed any farther.

Looks like I'm going to have to spend the rest of the week sitting on my butt or reclining on my sofa, trying to work up the energy to read let alone write.

See Y'all later

Oxycodone Rules

Blogging From A Drug Induced Coma...


Sorry about the light levels of posting recently, but mind has been busy contemplating the resurgence of abdominal discomfort rather than writing about politics.

It seems that now I'm experiencing what is commonly known as "surgical complications", and the only way to fix things is to make another trip over to the Hospital operating room tomorrow.

They say that this sojourn will be "minimally invasive", but then again my last trip under a knife produced a 9" scare.

I'm an Impatient Patient

Baffling Modern Medicine

After a week of steady progress, I was disappointed to have to report back to my doctor again yesterday for an unscheduled post-op exam.

I left his office with a pocket full of anti-cramp and pain pills, with a resolution to get well ASAP in spite of my advancing age.

The details of yesterday's blood work has everyone incuding myself spazzing around in a tizzy of wild eyed speculation, but we should know a little more about what's actually going on in my insides in a few hours after I have my CAT scan.

Wish me luck...if you will.

Two Steps Forward

One Step Back...


Well, I've drug my lazy butt around our little island this weekend entertaining house guests and managed to hurt myself in the process of trying to eat normally with company.

The combination of an Oyster Po Boy at lunch and a small Fillet Mignon at dinner served to lock my insides up and send me back to the sofa and bed almost continuously since yesterday afternoon.

I missed not one but TWO trips over to the beach to watch Missy the Turbo Pup gallop around the shallow water and sands. That dog does love her beach trips...

The task of guiding a middle aged body through recovery from hospitalization and surgery totally SUCKS.

I'm really really ready to get back to work and put this medical crap behind me, but my behind and my middle seems to have ideas of their own.

Dangit...

If It's Not One Darn Thing

It's Another


I was wandering around the Internet early this morning looking for something to rant about when I found this NY Times story about a Heparin recall that hits just a little too close to home.

The problems with heparin, which is used to prevent blood clotting during dialysis and after some surgery, were first reported last month at a hospital in Missouri. Since then, the number of reported adverse reactions has risen to 448, the F.D.A. said. “Yes, we have gotten more and we are continuing to evaluate those reports,” Dr. Kweder said.


At first, the agency said it believed that four people had died after allergic reactions to the drug. On Thursday, officials said as many as 17 more people may have died, but they described the links to heparin as more tenuous.

The adverse reactions have included decreased or low blood pressure and fast heart rate. Not all of them are known to involve Baxter products, but the drug agency did not issue warnings involving any other products.

In addition to low blood pressure and a heart rate of 120 - 135 BPM, my doctors had a hell of a time stabilizing my body's reaction to the drug and had to constantly adjust the dosage, sometimes taking me off entirely and other times increasing the infusion rate and adding a "bolus" dose to catch me up.

Any way, I sort of stewed around on the issue most of the day, then I did a Google search in the last hour and found that the Chicago Tribune was saying that the recall had been extended to all of Baxter's IV Heparin products--a product I took a couple thousand milliliters a day of for the entire 16 days I was hospitalized.

Baxter International, which has experienced problems with a widely used blood-thinning product but held off on mounting a recall because of concerns over a shortage, said late Thursday that because the nation's supply of heparin has now increased, it is moving ahead with a full-scale recall of its product.

More than 400 people have suffered adverse effects that may be related to Baxter-made heparin, and four patients who used it have died.

The Food and Drug Administration said Thursday that it has completed the inspection of the Chinese plant owned by the supplier of the active ingredient in Baxter's heparin product but still had not determined the cause of the problem.

In mid-January Deerfield-based Baxter recalled nine lots of the heparin, disclosing for the first time that there had been scores of adverse reactions. It said at the time that it had not yet determined the source of the problem but thought that whatever the difficulty was, it was limited to the nine lots it was recalling.

Later, however, the company disclosed it had determined that the problems were not limited to the nine production lots it had recalled.But, it said, company officials and the FDA decided that because the number of heparin producers is limited and because the product is so widely used nationwide in many kinds of surgery as well as in kidney dialysis, Baxter would suspend production but would not recall the heparin on the shelves of hospitals, drug distributors and medical clinics.

On Thursday, however, Baxter said "the FDA has now concluded that there is sufficient capacity on the part of other suppliers that Baxter's recall will not jeopardize access to this drug."Baxter said it is taking the "precautionary step" of recalling all remaining heparin products on the market, even though the vast majority of the reports of adverse reactions have been associated with the multidose form of the product.

I'm not a jump on the bandwagon...sue the pants off the bastards sort of guy, but I'm also pissed that I spent at least an extra week in the hospital at great expense and developed new blood clots in my left arm WHILE I WAS ON HEPARIN TREATMENT.

Excuse me while I call my attorney...I want to know the brand name on those bags of liquid they pumped into me this month. I hope it wasn't Baxter, but then again...

William F. Buckley Jr.'s Dead

And I'm Delinquent In Not Mentioning His Passing


I had a couple of chances to hear Mr. Buckley speak while I was in college and later at other engagements in Atlanta, but somehow I always managed to stay home and miss hearing his genius in person.

I've read some of his work and followed him in the media and on TV, but from the commentary I'm seeing around the Internet on his death I think that I need to spend some money on amazon and get a few of his books.

Regardless, great guys like Mr. Buckley seem to come along less often these days than they did back in the 1920's, and I would be remiss in not mentioning him and his accomplishments here on this blog in honor of his life.

RIP Mr. Buckley

A Tragedy

And A Cancellation...


I just got a phone call bearing some bad news about this weekend's Chili Cookoff.

We have to cancel our participation.

I was a bit shocked at first, but then when I understood the reason for the conflict I totally agreed with John's decision.

Josh, one of the chefs from Blackwater Grill was fatally injured in a head-on auto accident on the causeway connecting our little island to the mainland on Monday afternoon, and the funeral will be held early Saturday afternoon in Albany, Ga.

Rightfully so, John and most of the Blackwater staff--including Josh's fiancee--will be in attendance and have to make the eight hour round trip drive.

Realizing that there is no way I could pull things off by myself in my currently diminished physical condition, John had no choice but to pull out of the competition.

Here's a link to today's Brunswick News story about the ongoing hysterical situation on the causeway. That said , let me toss in my own two cents worth of commentary, with all due respect to Josh's recent demise.

For those not familiar with access to St. Simons Island, we have been connected to the mainland via the four mile long F.J. Torras Causeway since 1924. The first version of the road was a two lane design with a draw bridge installed after WWII to accommodate the new Intercoastal Waterway.

The two lane design survived until the late 1980's when the Causeway was enlarged and widened to four lanes, including a bicycle lane and a wide span high bay bridge to eliminate the Drawbridge at the relocated intercoastal channel location. Originally a toll road, the toll booths were shut down in the early 2000's and dismantled in 2006.

Now here's where the problem comes in.

The speed limit on the causeway has always been 50 MPH or less since it's inception.

In reality, however, actual traffic flow usually moves somewhere in the 55 to 60 MPH range, with many assholes self-important drivers electing to run closer to 70 MPH much of the time.

Local perception, as emotional as it is, considers the road to be a ticking time bomb because we manage to kill and maim about one or two drivers a month in near head on collisions.

The state DOT just completed a pseudo-widening project last year that added a center buffer lane at the expense of narrowing the existing four traffic lanes and shoulders by about a foot each.

As things are now, if you have mechanical trouble on one of the bridges there is hardly room to pull your car off the road, out of the traffic flow.

And still there is endless screaming that the only way to "FIX" the safety of the Causeway is to add a concrete barrier down the center, something DOT has thus far said is impossible because of lack of room on the bridges.

In my considered opinion, if people didn't speed all the time and drive like idiots, the causeway wouldn't be any more dangerous than any other road in Glynn county. After all, we kill about the same number of drivers on our other busy highway--US I-95--each year, and it has concrete barriers and/or a wide grass median along it's lenght.

As is usual, instead of taking responsibility for their own safety and behavior, people want the GOVERNMENT to step in and spend taxpayer money to save us all from ourselves.

Like I always say..."you can make it fool proof, but you can't make it damnfool proof..."

Danged Old Global Warming Waining?

Anyone But Me Seen This Data?


Here's a link to a story about a major drop in global temperatures--all occurring since January 2007.

You can go to the link and read the story and look at the graphs yourself, but in summary all four of the recognized temperature indicators showed global temperature drops of between 0.588 deg C and 0.750 deg C over only a recent one year period!!

Using the larger number (0.750 deg C), one could suggest that the global cooling experienced over the 12 month period between January 2007 to January 2008 has completely offset the three quarter degree C global temperature INCREASE touted by Owl Gore and all of the "man made global warming zombies" which they say took 100 years to produce.

Of course as usual you won't see this information on the front pages of the NY Times or leading the evening news headlines on ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN any time soon.

Imagine if the data had shown the opposite result...a 3/4 degree temperature increase in a year?

There wouldn't be enough ink to print the headlines screaming things like "GLOBAL WARMING COMING TO YOUR BEDROOM" or "OWL GORE DYING FROM HEAT PROSTRATION."

These lamestream media outlets will also ignore this story about record snow cover in the northern hemisphere, along with increasing amounts of sea ice in both the Northern and Southern Polar Oceans.

That's right, the amount of snow cover over the northern hemisphere this winter exceeds the previous 52 year old record set in 1966, but don't expect USA Today to be printing the story and sliding under your Hotel room door in the morning to let you know to stop worrying about baking your brains out and put on some gloves and extra socks.

Speaking of which, it's 46 here today...I need to go put on a t-shirt myself.

Living In Slow Motion

An Hour's Work Takes All Day Now


It's a warm but dreary day here on the Georgia coast, so at least I can't feel guilty for staying inside all day.

Although my improvement and progress is obvious to outside observers, it's still really frustrating living inside a nearly five decade old body running at about 75% efficiency...with a restrictor plate or other obstruction bolted to my carburetor.

I made it through yesterday without a nap, got a pot of less than perfect chili cooked, and made my meeting with my Chili Cookoff partner in time to come home and collapse on the sofa.

Then something amazing happened--I managed to sleep for six hours in a row, awakening about seven AM rested but still operating at something less than full speed.

The balance of the day will be spent making short trips off the sofa to do things like clean the ashes out of the fireplace and stagger through some more paperwork, and I may reward myself with a late morning nap just for the fun of it if the urge strikes me.

I wish someone could give me a giant shot of adrenalin or something to pep me up. I guess only time will tell...

Chili Cookoff Ensues

To Cook, Or Not To Cook?


My friend and popular Blackwater Grill restaurant owner John called me last evening to check on my health progress.

Apparently the rumor was out among some of the other contestants that his head Chef (that would be me) was potentially calling in sick for this upcoming weekend's Chili Cookoff, and they had stopped by the restaurant to gloat and drink beer in celebration.

Well, I've got news for them...come 10 AM this morning I'll be standing in the checkout line at the grocery store with a few items, the London Broil is already thawed out, and a gallon test batch of chili will be finished in the pot in time for a 4:00 PM strategy meeting over at Blackwater in the afternoon.

The only way I'm missing next Saturdays' event is if they haul me back to the hospital...and my newly modifed colon needs some chili therapy anyway so I can kill two birds with one stone this week.

Wish me luck...If you will.

"Here" Versus "There"

"Now" Against "Then"


Having earlier returned from the back yard after smoking half a cigar, I'm now busying myself laying on the sofa reading the Internet while Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup make a visit over to the beach to enjoy the afternoon's glorious weather.

Let's see...yep, it's now up to 72 degrees F outside, while up in Knoxville it's...

MOSTLY CLOUDY AND 44 DEGREES F (with a chance of snow Tuesday night thrown in for good measure.)

After nearly five years living here in paradise, all I can say is...

Oh the Humanity!!!

(time to go back out and finish that cigar now.)

Slowly But Surely

Test Driving My New Innards...


I'm finding out the hard way that it's not very funny what laying flat on your back for 24 days does to your physical abilities.

That, and having a couple fewer feet of small intestine than I started the month of February with has me dragging myself from the bed to the bathroom to the sofa and back in a daily rotation of boredom and indignation at not being able to fend for myself by myself. Of course Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup do what they can for me and their efforts are greatly appreciated..but still...

I have a literal TON of paperwork and other stuff to do around here, but it's all I can seem to do just to get through the days and not pinch my guts trying to stand up too fast. I did manage to leave the house for a light Mexican lunch (one enchilada...whoop te doo) yesterday, but most of the time the hike to the mail box is about as far as I've ventured thus far.

I hope something changes...and soon.

Bizarre Surgical Side Effects

Drop That Razor...


Just in case I haven't mentioned it before here on the blog, let me let you know that I'm a pretty hairy guy.

Not just pretty...not just hairy, but pretty hairy none the less.

I manage to keep most of what tries to sprout in reach on my back and shoulder blades under control, but the rest of my glorious visage is covered in a varying blanket of dark brown and increasingly grey hair.

That said, I'd like to find the person responsible for removing shaving butchering off all of my fuzzy coat from the bottom crease of my pert "man titties" to the top of my pubic bone and give them a good thrashing.

Now I think that I know how a baby Porcupine feels the first few weeks of his life.

Here & There

But Not Everywhere...YET.


Good GOD!!

Or rather...

Thank God!!


(I'll let those words sit here for a minute and sink in as I contemplate my ongoing existence.)



Whether I'm thanking GOD for yet another miraculous recovery or talking about how good he's been to me to allow me to continue to draw a few new breaths here on the planet this week, let me tell you that I've been back to death's door for yet a second time in 2-1/2 years because I'm STUPID (not to mention hard headed and arrogant and have thousands of other Biblical failings I've yet to mention or completely study in my own time and mind.)

After suffering yet a second bout with ischemia of my small intestine--in layman's terms I had a number of old and new blood clots in the veins feeding my guts. Not only is it painful, but it kills something like 1/3 to 1/2 of the people that don't get it diagnosed and treated in time.

This time I was early with the diagnosis, but the treatment still involved abdominal surgery to remove 2 feet of my small intestine and the installation of 34 metal staples in my new "zipper scar" that runs down the center of my belly from below my breast bone to below the top of my pubic bone.

I'm still enjoying a dull ache and weak abdominal muscles even thought the surgery was last Friday and the staples were taken out on Monday.

All I know is, I don't want to do this again, and thus I'm following up on extensive post operative testing involving various man made "scopes" shoved down my throat and up my behind in the next few months, and I'm taking a fist full of anti-oxidant and Coumadine every day for the rest of my life.

The only problem with this scenario it that while I'll live longer, swinging like a monkey around construction job sites and banging my thumb on a daily basis is out as an a career or avocation.

It's a desk job or unemployment for me from here on out, and to that end I've done a few things over the past three weeks while lapsing in and out of consciousness.

FIRST, I accepted a contract to sell my undeveloped land in downtown Brunswick, closing the deal by the second week in March.

SECOND, I intend to take the proceeds from the sale of the lots and toss extra money at getting the renovation project finished and on the market by April 15th.

THIRD, I have negotiated a GREAT employment deal for myself with an engineering company in Knoxville, Tennessee, beginning full time work by April 30th. They want me so badly that they're willing to wait for my real estate transactions to be completed and they're paying most of my relocation expenses to get me into town and on their payroll.

Sorry I didn't mention this earlier, but Pat and I snuck off late last month for the interview and then the illness stepped in and closed the deal in my middle aged mind. If I don't re-enter now, I'll never be able to come back in and make a truly competitive salary because I'll be too old and can't give the company the time in the saddle they are looking for.

Besides, on days like today 45 hours of guaranteed pay, paid vacation, paid holidays, 401 K, and most of all...HEALTH INSURANCE...looks pretty damn good from where I'm sitting, having ran up a $50,000 tab in the past three weeks myself.

The only thing I'm wondering now is...how do you explain disappearing for 24 days to your dog?

Further, how do you justify taking Missy the Turbo Pup away from her southern coastal home (12 months on February 14th) and into a city that gets over a foot of annual snowfall?

My dog has to wear a sweater outside when the temperature drops below 50 degrees F, even though she has long hair.

Life's tough, I guess???

Home Again

The Event Struck A Little After Noon...


Not 100%, but better none the less. More later.

Home Tomorrow???

MAYBE...


Otherwise, I believe that I'll just go ahead and die

I'm Almost Feeling Human Again

(If That Is Actually Something To Be Desired)


Well, folks, I'm spening day seven here at the beautiful SE Georgia Regional Medical Center and Massage Parlor. I have a lovely private room in the new tower, on the penthouse floor, overlooking the roof of the old hospital complex and a Herculese toxic waste disposal site.

Speaking of toxic waste, you should see some of the stuff that's been coming out of my gut through a tube they have shoved down my left nostril into my stomach. It almost glows in the dark sometimes I think.

As I suspected on Tuesday when I asked Pat to take me to the emergency room, the symptoms of my intestinal ischemia from 30 months ago had returned, although this time I caught it much earlier.

I only had to live for two days in intensive care before they moved me out into the regular population of sick people...if they only knew how irregular I really am...

The worst thing about this whole ordeal is my inability to eat, and their lack of desire to put food in my ailing small intestine. I have't seen anything but ice chips for a week now.

The good news is, as I always say...there's nothing like a good serious illness to take some weight off, and weight loss I am accomplishing through this ordeal.

They say that I might be out of here by Friday, stay tuned if you will.

Under The Weather

Unexpected Bad Luck...


Well...I have some good news, and some bad news--which do you want first?

Since it's my news, I'll give the good first.

It's 2008 right now on my calendar--not 1808 or even 1908.

Wonder why I've got you asking this question?

It's because of my bad news...I'M IN THE HOSPITAL AS OF YESTERDAY MORNING ABOUT 9 AM.

Instead of spreading all of the gory details all over the Internet, let's just say that it's serious, and we don't know exactly how things are going to go over the next couple of weeks.

In the mean time, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and will try to keep the blog updated between doses of Morphine.

Fixing The Crack(head) On My Dashboard

Leather Mender To The Rescue


Everyone be advised that absolutely none of the late night TV ads entering my abode are immune to parody and ridicule, and this evening's target is something called Leathermender that's making my mind numb with their ads on FOX News.

What caught my ear was their claim that their product can be used to fix that "Ugly Crack on you Dashboard." The use of this terminology piqued my interest, but I'm afraid that I might be confused because this is who/what came to my mind when they mentioned having "Crack on my Dashboard":



Almost every day on my construction site I have to say no to people like this, so I consider myself to be somewhat of an authority on the matter.

That said, why would anyone buy "Leather Mender" in the first place?


(PS...Looks like my brain is waking up a little in the ranting department...)

Physically Tired, And Mentally Dull

Living In My Own Little World...


I swear, if I commented on every silly or stupid thing that I read about these days I wouldn't ever get anything productive done.

I've become so lethargic in my interest in ranting about things going on in pop culture and the "outside world" that I actually slept through all but the final 30 seconds of the Super Bowl last night.

I was just too tired as a result of the previous two day's construction efforts and, with at least two more days in front of me slinging around 4'x8' sheets of siding and holding a pneumatic nail gun over my head, I felt that sleep when I could get it was more important than watching a game featuring gangs of overpaid grown men playing children's games while amassing fortunes equal to the Gross National product of many third world countries.

We came home yesterday to find water running down our driveway, apparently the result of a broken pipe adjacent to the water meter, so we've spent the evening with no water in the kitchen and bathrooms, although I do intend to waste some more of our "precious national resource" by turning on the valve this morning so I can wash my hands and flush the toilets.

In other local news, I'm sorry to report that after mistakenly applying my TV-Advertised, mail ordered, "Male Enhancement" product to my front yard US Postal Service Mail Box that now we can only receive "Air Mail" because the box has extended itself to a height of slightly over TEN FEET off of the ground.

While to may consumers this phenomena might be considered to be truly phenomenal, in my lethargy I simply turn my head back to my drawings and computer in order to contemplate today’s dose of making sawdust.

Grinnnndddddddddd....Whirlllllllllll...Wham...Wham...Wham

The Sounds Of Construction Progress


Today's a red letter day on the construction calendar, with the installation of the new siding panels on most if not all of the front of the revised building footprint.

Things have come far enough I just might post a before and after photo to show everyone what the heck I've been doing with my time the past half year.

Stay tuned...