Sunday, June 28, 2009

Taking Advantage Of the Elderly

And Them Sometimes Taking Advantage of Everybody Else...


Since I'm hoping to live long enough to be considered "elderly" (but not really expecting to) I'm gonna be careful what I write here today...BUT.

Recently I was ready to pull out what little hair I had left at the grocery store while thrashing my way through the "self checkout" line.

Since the days on our Little Island when I went to Harris Teeter almost every day, I've become proficient at operating the self check terminals and can generally check myself out as quickly as all but the fastest cashiers.

Unless there's a regular check out line where I'm first or at most second I can generally go through the process solo in about the same time unless the attendant is unavailable to approve a beer/wine purchase or I've got 20 kinds of fruits and vegetables with no UPC code or product number and have to look them up.

Any way, yesterday morning about 10:15 AM the local Kroger only had ONE CHECKOUT LINE OPEN--and it had at lest five or six people standing with carts or baskets waiting with disgusted looks on their faces.

As I passed the four self checkout terminals I jumped in on the first one and then realized that with our giant cart full of paper towels and TP and stuff that it would never fit in the bagging area.

Then I noticed that this old geezer with black socks and plaid shorts lovely gayly dressed gentleman had the larger station with the four bag turntable tied up with his little 20 item order.

Any way, I proceeded to curse and fight my way through bagging up $100 worth of groceries and the computer kept objecting because I had to take stuff off the platform and put it in the floor to make more room for more stuff...and the attendant that was supposed to override the computer spent his entire time checking out the old gentleman and another couple of middle aged women with a giant cart fulled with probably twenty or thirty twelve packs of soft drinks.

The old guy might have managed to successfully scan half of his purchase by himself and the women just stood there saying "we're sorry...we don't know how to run these things..."

As I left the store ahead of both the geezer and the soft drink Queens I had to ask myself this...

"Why the heck are so many people so impatient and so selfish as to walk into the "self checkout" with giant purchases and NOT A SINGLE CLUE WHAT THEY ARE DOING rather than just standing in line and waiting at a regular checkout?"

My question actually contains the answer I think.

They're selfish and impatient. And whether they know it or not they hurt people like me that know how to run the system and can never get the attendant's attention the one or two times I need them because instead of waiting their turn the essentially "jump the line" by forcing the attendant to basically manually check them out in the "self check out line."

What kills me is that this happens all the time and the people have the audacity to do it and the stupidity to admit that they don't know what they're doing while they're doing it.

These same people most likely left their car sitting in the fire lane out front or leave their shopping carts sitting beside their parking space rather than taking the time to walk it over to the shopping cart corral.

Any way, we made it home with our provisions and had an excellent afternoon on the deck watching the Turbo Pup wear herself out (see yesterdays postings) and I cooked burgers and roasted corn on the cob and fries and then collapsed on the sofa about 7 PM.

Then this morning since the predicted rain was holding off I decided to tear down one of my front gutter downspouts and see what was clogging things up on that end of the house.

I cleaned the gutters twice already this year and that one end insists on overflowing with anything other than a light rain and that downspout is one of two that the old owner of the house (another elderly gentleman I never met) had had replaced before we bought the house last year. The new downspouts are the newer larger 3" x 5" cross sections and the two older--I presume original ones--are the smaller 2" x 4" size.

What was puzzling was that the entire gutter overflows so easily with the larger downspout when gutter runs only slightly shorter with the smaller spouts didn't have trouble handling the water. It took me about ten minutes climbing the ladder and drilling out pop rivets to discover the trouble.

When the idiot cheating lying contractor replaced the downspouts with the larger sized sections, the thieving moron didn't change out the connection fitting between the main horizontal gutter section with the downspout.

In fact, it's the smallest connection I've ever seen--about 2" in diameter. Doing the math the new gutter is over 5" larger in cross sectional area that the HOLE SUPPLYING WATER TO IT.

I thought my head would explode because our neighbors said that Tommie (the previous owner) had had problems for years and finally paid someone to install the larger downspouts in order to try to reduce the amount of overflow. The moronic contractor apparently came out, spent the time to build up the three elbows and straight sections to the proper length, then saved 15 or 20 minutes per spout and left the stupid small connectors in place--COMPLETELY DEFEATING THE PURPOSE OF THE RENOVATION EXERCISE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I have very little patience for people that call themselves contractors and go around taking advantage of the elderly and retired people that no longer can do the work for themselves and may be in failing mental capacity.

There's a special place in hell for those folks, and their plumber and HVAC friends are in charge of the Ice Water and Air conditioning...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Rubber Ducky...You're The One...

You Make Her New Pool Deck...So Much Fun...


Here's Missy the Turbo Pup swimming with a few friends...



Hanging out on her own private beach...



And finally, crashing for a nap in the shade after a hard day playing...




That's a darn fine beach dog we got there...

Everything But The Kitchen Sink Paint

Professional Loafing Ensues...


I'm proud to tender this photo of the exterior of my new French Door...






And here's a peek at the entire compound we call "The Redneck Riviera North"...


Besides the deck and pool as you can see there's a beach and even a board walk along the fence to keep your feet out of the sand when going to and coming from the pool.

(I know, I know, I know...most people do this kind of thing when they're 21 for their kids but I ain't had no kids so I wait till I'm almost 50 and do it for my little Missy theTurbo Pup.)

And, finally, I give you a Top Secret photo of my "Global Warming/Climate Change Monitoring Station" installed and working, but without all of the ship's mast embellishments like rigging wires and provisions for flying a flag.




The whole thing is hinged on a fence post so I can raise and lower it to work on the wiring and clean the bird dropping off my equipment. It has an anemometer, thermometer, relative humidity sensor, rain gage, and a 900 Mhz wireless transmitter that communicates with a receiver/display station in my office.

I'm considering firing up my web cam and doing my own evening Internet weather broadcast from my desk...naked.

Well...on second thought...maybe not.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Smart Dog Video

I Know Politicians That Aren't this Intellegent...


Farrah Fawcett

I Had The Poster...





I know you're supposed to say nice things about recently deceased people, but right now my eyes have rolled back in my head so far I see my tonsils and anus from the inside from the shock of having to watch the wall to wall coverage of Michael Jackson's passing.

Similar (But not just like) to when Mother Teresa's death in 1997 was overshadowed by the Saudi Sheik's drunken Driver/Body Guard killing Lady Diana in a London car crash, the public outcry is truly amazing to me because when it is all over with...

Neither one of these so-called "celebrities" really mean anything in the big picture when you think about the problems facing our country, it's citizens, and our world today.

I can't understand people and their fascination with other abnormal people that happen to have made a shit load of money singing or dancing or in the case of Miss Fawcett...just looking real pretty for a few years in their tortured public circus lives.

My heart goes out to the Jackson and Fawcett friends and family, but I wish the rest of the celebrity worshiping, bullshit eating, pop culture morons would go home and sit down and shut up and study a text book and learn something which will take them off the taxpayers back else get dressed and go to work and turn the damn TV and MP3 player off and stop waisting time.

And give me a break with the 24 hour TV coverage... a weird man and a basically silly woman died today--just like happens every day...and I pay good money for Cable TV to watch news...not BS about has been singers and fashion models.

RIP Farrah and Michael (Sorry I'm Cranky)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson's Dead...

If I Can't Say Nothing Nice...I Don't Say Anything At All...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Day In The Sun

Rain Gone, Humidity Low(er)...


I went and bought another small load of #1 Kiln Dried Pressure Treated boards today to fill in the gaps and spots I had missed considering on the deck with my first material order.

I also finally finished the trim on the outside of the new French Door I hacked into the brick in the back wall of the dining room.

All I need to do is slap on a little paint and the door is finished.

Thank G.O.D.

Now in my ongoing insanity I'm talking about buying a "pet door" and grinding another hole through the wall to accommodate the four legged princess of the household.

Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup (the aforementioned princess) supervised my efforts from the pool and deck chairs as I worked my way around the perimeter installing skirting boards.

Short of some catastrophe, the deck really, really, really will be finished tomorrow.

Then maybe I can actually get in the pool myself and sit around for a while being wet without the dampness coming from my pores.

The next immediate project is to install the new wireless weather station components that Pat gave me for Christmas. The system's pretty cool but has been sitting in my office for six months gathering dust.

I've decided that I'm putting the Wind Direction/Anemometer up on a wooden spar attached to a fence post; extending 16 feet above the ground, then mounting the electronic rain gauge and the Relative Humidity sensor down lower.

There is a wireless control/indicator panel which can be mounted inside the house in my office so I can sit around and get second by second updates on which way the wind's blowing and how hard the rain is coming down without looking out the window, going outside, or dialing up the NOAA website.

When finished the structure is supposed to end up looking like the mast on a sailboat with some rigging wires and possibly a place to fly a flag.

The details are still a little fuzzy but I've started doing the drawings and photos will follow as things develop.

Time to finish some technical writing and call it an evening.

Regards Y'all...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ed McMahon's Gone

The Ultimate Sidekick Passes Away...


I was sorry to hear that Johnny Carson's straight man Ed McMahon passed away this morning. I suspect that most everyone in my generation enjoyed his appearances on the Tonight Show before his career fell into disarray and he had to resort to hawking insurance and "senior" benefits on late night TV.

Here's a look at him in his "heyday"...




Here he is striking the same pose as a younger man...



(he must have liked that look)


And here's what I suspect he'll be doing tonight about 11 PM EST...




RIP Mr. McMahon

Monday, June 22, 2009

Internet One Liners

Twenty Things I wish I'd Said...


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak...

2. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a few payments...

3. We live in a Society where Pizza gets to your house before the Police...

4. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

6. The Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't...

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

10. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

11. You spend the first 2 years of your kids' lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 years trying to get them to sit down and shut up.

12. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

13. 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea...does that mean that ONE enjoys it?

14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

15. The main difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.

16. I didn't say that it was your fault...I said I was blaming you.

17. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas...

20. The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it's still on my list.

Go here and find another 80 one liners...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Weekend Distractions

Cooking & Sweating...(But Not At The Same Time)


In case you haven't noticed, I took the weekend off from writing frivolous stuff here on the blog.

That doesn't mean I wasn't writing, however, it's just that the writing was of the technical variety unsuitable for posting here on the Internet.

I also got some lumber cut and installed yesterday and grilled a killer meal out at the end of the day, and then Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup enjoyed a Brunch I prepared this morning and one of my signature soon to be internationally famous Pizzas for dinner tonight.

Construction and writing will continue this week so I don't know where the Blog will fit in unless some plane crashes or someone important does or says something incredibly stupid.

Come to think of it, if all I had to do was wait for something stupid to be uttered by a public official or celebrity or athlete I'd be writing here 24/7.

OH, and by the way...CALL YOUR DADDY IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

I sure wish that I could...

Friday, June 19, 2009

Tiny Dogs...

Have Giant Hearts...


View more news videos at: http://www.nbcsandiego.com/video.



My dog would do that for me...

UrrrrrpppppppppPPPPPPP

Please Excuse Me...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

No Matter What The Government Says About Universal Healthcare...

I Think WE Will All Ultimately Regret The Day....


Just for fun this morning...

I want you to think of a single important product or service you can get for free or for an artificially reduced price which is as good a value or performs as well as the best--or even the average--similar product(s) or service(s) delivered at the true cost and/or fair market price?

Got any ideas?

Let's ignore silly consumer products like cell phones or music CD's...I'm talking about IMPORTANT stuff...necessary stuff like LIKE HOUSING and TRANSPORTATION.

For instance, if someone gives you a car for free, wouldn't you agree that it's probably not gonna be a shiny new Lexus (unless you're on a TV Game Show like Wheel of Fortune)?

Most likely it will be a clunker and even more likely if it runs at all it won't be reliable.

Don't get confused...I'm about to talk about government supplied health care but I have to lay out some fundamentals...so bear with me for a moment longer here...

Now think about things the Government "gives" the public or "manages" on behalf of the public.

In the transportation category I present for your consideration the Amtrak Passenger Rail System ... a GOVERNMENT RUN train system which has never turned a profit in any single year in it's ENTIRE EXISTENCE and is constantly cutting service and coming back to Congress looking for more money under threat of shutting down.

One of the main problems, other than being government run, is that in areas other than in the Northeast corridors between large cities, Amtrack doesn't actually GO ANYWHERE anyone wants to go to.

For instance, if I want to go down to Miami and stay for a week, looking at the Orbitz Website I can pay the airlines $557 round trip, and by leaving at 5 PM Sunday I'm in Miami before 11 PM.

About SEVEN HOURS one way including the time to drive to the airport and park and go through security. The round trip schedule is equally time efficient.

Now...what about taking the GOVERNMENT option called AMTRAK?

On Amtrak I have to first drive from Knoxville to Atlanta, then pay $639 round trip, and then instead of riding a train to Savannah or Jessup Georgia--places within 250 miles that have Amtrak service--I have to ride a train to WASHINGTON, DC...then turn around and head back south toward Miami.

And how much of my time does this epic Government managed sojourn take?

Going south takes TWENTY SEVEN HOURS...not including the three hour drive in the car to get to the Atlanta station.

...and the return north takes THIRTY FOUR HOURS (including the drive time back from the station to Knoxville.)

Doing the math and using the current gas prices of $2.85, I can DRIVE the 881 miles between Knoxville and Miami in a little over 13 hours at the round trip cost of $220.

Why in the world would I use Amtrak--unless I was afraid of flying--considering these transit times and the cost exceeding going by air.

Isn't it insane that Amtrak charges $82 more than the cost to fly, and takes over five times as long to get there?

Now let's think about GOVERNMENT HOUSING for a moment.

Ever drive through a government housing project?

I'm not trying to be a racist, but regardless of race, sex, or national origin wouldn't you agree that 99% of buildings in 99% of the neighborhood occupied by GOVERNMENT HOUSING are complete and total HELL HOLES?

I know that living in GOVERNMENT HOUSING is probably at least a little better than sleeping in a GOVERNMENT RUN HOMELESS SHELTER, but just barely.

I know most of us recognise that the PEOPLE that reside in GOVERNMENT HOUSING are probably at least half of the problem, but a private landlord would hardly put up with the physical conditions found in most GOVERNMENT HOUSING and you know what?

If a private landlord did let their own privately owned and managed property deteriorate to similar conditions, most likely THE GOVERNMENT would step in and force them to fix things else close them down.

But I say the GOVERNMENT runs housing like they run transportation...like CRAP.

Now I'm going to ignore the coming financial insolvency of the current GOVERNMENT supplied retirement system called SOCIAL SECURITY and government run elderly and indigent health programs called MEDICARE and MEDICAID--all of which are hemorrhaging money and cutting benefits as we speak--and talk about...

GOVERNMENT RUN VETERANS HOSPITALS.

Have you or anyone you know ever been to a VETERAN'S HOSPITAL (hereafter referred to as a VA Hospital) in your town?

Yes?

No?

You may or may not realize that if you live in Georgia THERE IS NOT A VETERAN'S HOSPITAL in your town unless you live in Atlanta (Decatur), Augusta, or Dublin.

Looking at the VA web page for Georgia , there are only an additional 21 "Outpatient Clinics" in the entire state.

You know what this means to a "Retired Veteran" who is forced by government mandate to get his healthcare benefits from THE GOVERNMENT VA facilities.

From what I saw while we lived on St. Simons Island ( a place where over half the retired men were Veterans) the older Widower Vets that couldn't drive themselves had to ride in a van driven by volunteers once or twice a week on a 4 plus hour trip covering over 200 miles to the VA hospital in Augusta to get treatment.

By "treatment" I mean important stuff like Cat Scans and X-Rays and Dialysis and stuff.

Of course they could go to a local doctor and hope that the procedure was covered by Medicare, but to get Medicare to pay they had to get pre-approval from a GOVERNMENT official before they could go to the local doctor which ment that they had to WAIT FOR MEDICAL CARE.

"Sorry Mr. Wilkins...just stop having that heart attack and fill out these ten forms and we'll get back to you next month..."

Of course they could just go to the doctor and pay out of their own pocket, but doesn't that undo the so called BENEFIT of having free GOVERNMENT HEALTHCARE in the first place?

A classical bait and switch program--tax your ass off while you're working and then make obtaining the benefits painful if not virtually impossible.

...

Now let me ask you this question...

If the government can't manage to run an efficient and convenient healthcare system for a few million retired veterans--people that worked their entire military careers believing they had the healthcare benefits coming when they needed then...

HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT CAN MANAGE AND FUND A NEW PROGRAM TO TAKE IN AN ADDITIONAL 39,000,000 BENEFICIARIES AND ULTIMATELY AN ENTIRE POPULATION OF 300 MILLION PLUS?

Are you STUPID, RETARDED, OR JUST ON DRUGS?

Go ahead if you don't agree with me and cheer this GOVERNMENT POWER GRAB on and keep voting for it.

Then you will have to excuse me for LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY when about twenty years from now you find your ass rotting off and some bureaucrat tells you that you can't have a bottle of Iodine and a pack of band aids because you're too old and you drank and smoked and most likely brought the disease on yourself...

SO YOUR BELOVED FREE GOVERNMENT HEALTHCARE PROGRAM WON'T PAY.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it...Dammit.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Global Warming Still Full of Crap?

More Climate Change Insensitivity...


Anyone but me notice that...

while Chicago and much of the midwest has had a record cool June thus far...

and at the same time my Mom and my friends in my home town in Lower Alabama are baking in 100 degree F heat...

THAT THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE SUBSTANTIAL TROPICAL DISTURBANCE THIS YEAR?????????

And that little blow was up in the mid Atlantic latitudes but incited the weather nerds and sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, wild-eyed-eco-greenie-weenies to start buying plywood and battening down their hatches as they predicted an "Above Average" tropical season because...

the little piss ant storm formed in LATE MAY...

BEFORE the official "Hurricane Season"???

(which for my and your enjoyment runs from June 1st to the end of October each year.)

I just thought that I'd point that little fact out--that in the past three weeks we've only had one little wimpy tropical anything to talk about.

Except on this Blog and Blogs like it you won't hear any news stories and headlines leading with THAT FACT...now will you?

(taking a big breath here boss...)

Ok...

That will be all...for now...

Inside The New Door

Trim Complete...Paint Pane Pain In The Gl ass


I know some of you have been dying to catch a glimpse of my latest carpentry masterpiece...so here's a shot of the as yet unpainted door with the walls finished and the surrounding stuff hung back up:



And here's a closer look at my creative solution to covering the 2-1/2" gap between the top of the door frame and the sheetrock (I would have otherwise just used a piece of 2-1/8" jamb trim and been done with it all):



I'm also proud of that double light switch which controls a new outside light and a new double flood illuminating the deck and extending the hours we can use the back yard this summer. While I was at it I installed a new weather proof receptacle out there also to power crap like radios and charcoal grill lighters and such.

We like that "colonial" crown trim detail so much I'm going to tear out the head of the six foot wide cased opening between the living room and dining room and do the same thing. And the front door casing is also an candidate for similar renovation...

...once I finish the deck and the fence and the outside of this door frame.

When will my insanity and self abuse ever end???

Blogging From The Bottom Of The Mighty Tennessee River

My Mature Judgment Saved My Computer...


I swear if I were twenty years younger (including my propensity those days to throw mis-behaving electronics items like remote controls and phones) and still had a boat I'd have taken this computer out to the river and used it for a boat anchor or created a new artificial reef.

It just crashed a few minutes ago for the second time since midnight and about the fifth or sixth time in the past TWO days.

What really freaks me out is that I thought things with the pitiful useless Vista operating system had self medicated themselves over the past couple of weeks because I was sometimes getting through three days in a row and entire weekends without a crash.

Needless to say I've become the most diligent person in Eastern Tennessee at hitting the save button before I walk away from the beast and I save often in longer sessions where I'm writing.

When I find a web page I like or need for future reference I either bookmark it or copy the URL to an e-mail and send it to myself with a descriptive subject line. The e-mail method keeps from cluttering my favorites listing which probably has two or three hundred entries in sub-folders.

So any way...closing detail progress continues on the deck, fence, and the new Turbo Pup Exit door with the second coat of paint going on the wall trim and some other detailing being finished around the freshly cut opening in the brickwork on the outside.

I pace myself (in other words I'm distracted and lazy) to only three or four hours a day due to the heat so a project which could have been done professionally in three days has now extended itself to nearly a month.

Quality over quantity is my motto, and having a good time in the process is job #1 at all times.

Time to go smear paint on wood and myself...regards y'all...

Monday, June 15, 2009

You might be an engineer if ...

I'm Afraid Most Of This Is True (About Myself At Least)


... choosing between buying flowers for your wife or more RAM is a moral dilemma.

... you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.

... in college you thought "spring break" was metal fatigue failure.

... the salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.

... at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.

... you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.

... you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

... you can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.

... you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

... you sit backwards on the amusement rides to figure out the special effects.

... you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.

... you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

... you know what http:// stands for.

... you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.

... you see a good design and still have to change it.

... you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.

... you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.

... you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.

... you window shop at Radio Shack.

... your laptop computer costs more than your car.

... your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do for a living.

... you've already calculated how much you make per second.

... you've tried to repair a $5 radio.

... you consider yourself well-dressed when your socks match.

... you buy your wife a set of matched screwdrivers for her birthday.

... you have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.

... you think a "biting wit" is a fox terrier.

... you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.

... you enjoy pain.

... you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

... you chuckle whenever someone says "centrifugal force".

... you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

... when you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major.

... you are always inside working on a computer while it is sunny and 75 degrees outside.

... you frequently whistle the theme song to MacGyver.

... you always do homework on Friday nights.

... you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

... you think in "math".

... you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

... you hesitate to look at something to avoid breaking down its wave function.

... you have a pet named after a scientist.

... you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

... you've been arrested by the ASPCA for performing the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.

... you can't remember what's behind the EXIT door in the science building.

... you bring a jacket to the lab in the summer because of a wind-chill factor.

... you are completely addicted to caffeine.

... you avoid doing anything so as not to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

... you consider ANY non-science course easy.

... you can prove that, according to Heisenberg, your homework could be anywhere in the world!

... your brain's "fun" center has deteriorated from lack of use.

... you assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

... you know the second law of thermodynamics but not your shirt size.

... you repair your own cameras, telephones, TV's and automatic transmissions.

... you say "it's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin."

... you wear a badge so you don't forget who you are.

... you rotate your tires for laughs.

... you make four sets of drawings and seven revisions before making a bird bath building a deck in your back yard.

... you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.

... your briefcase contains a screwdriver, "Quantum Physics" and half a sandwich.

... your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.

... you ever burned down the school gym with your Science Fair project.

... you can translate English to Binary.

... your hero is Dilbert.

... your IQ is more than your weight.

... you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.

... you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.

... you have ever taken the back off of your TV just to see what's inside.

... you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as is".

... you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.

... you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.

... you understood more than five of these indicators.

... you make a hard copy of this list and post it on your door.

... you don't find the above at all funny.

I'm still busy working, so I shamelessly stole the above from Here: http://www.enerchecksystems.com/humor.html

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Compressor Healthy...Back Aching

Construction Materials Dwindling...


Of course I have to go back to Lowe's and or Home Depot today.

Again.

I managed to not go yesterday because after I repaired the compressor I had enough materials to finish expanding the fence around the back yard Turbo Pup enclosure and get the base boards and shoe mouldings trimmed and reinstalled around the new door.

Before that I even got mouldings on each side of the interior of the door, but then progress hit a brick wall (excuse the pun) when I realized that the 3-1/2 foot scrap of crown mold I grabbed out of the scrap bin was a few inches too short to cover the distance I needed.

I didn't cut the board so I have a clear conscience taking it back because they sell it by the foot and I'll just cut another a few inches longer.

Then I'll probably fiddle around remounting gate hardware and do some more skirting and if my energy holds out I might actually be FINISHED at sundown today.

By the way, it's pizza night here in Knoxtown so free to stop by about 7:00 PM and I'll cut you a slice.

Regards Y'all...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Steady Slow Progress

Stamina and Lethargy Take Their Toll...


Yesterday I managed to COMPLETELY REMOVE the French door I installed earlier in the week because there was a half inch bulge in the sheet rock on one side and the hardwood flooring was also holding things out of plumb by about the same amount.

At first I thought I'd just live with things because, after all, I didn't BUILD the house I just was adding a door.

Then after looking at things for 24 hours and thinking about the issue I just couldn't stand putting my name on a sloppy installation. After all, I've already replaced most of the interior doors with new custom cut six panel slabs/hinges/knobs and besides...

anything worth doing is worth doing right--particularly when it involves the place you own and live and work in each day.

So the door was dismounted and laid out on the new Turbo Pup deck while I sawed and chiseled away the offending wood and after about an hour and one half of fumbling and sweating I was right back where I started Friday at noon.

Today's task is to finally repair the wounded air compressor with the parts which have been sitting around for a week now and see if I can manage to put up some trim around the interior of the door and maybe get some fence pickets in place.

Of course the rough opening for the door is a non-standard height because I took out a window and had to work with what was built in 1963 so there's a 2 1/4" gap between the top of the door casing and the sheet rock.

Instead of $3.50 worth of trim I have to go with $20 worth of #1 clear pine and some crown moulding producing a Colonial style casement around the opening.

It will look pretty nice once I'm finished but instead of 15 minutes with the miter saw it will probably involve a couple hours of cogitating and layout.

Time to put on my work clothes and get going I guess.

Y'all enjoy your Saturday while I slave away.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Rain...Rain...Go Away

I'm Cultivating Sunbeams in My Cucumbers...


Well, my work wiring up the new outlets and exterior light around the new door was interrupted when we got blasted by a thunderstorm dropping pea sized hail and featuring a spectacular lightning display yesterday afternoon.

Then it rained on and off again all evening as I sat out on the front porch smoking a cigar and reading the 1881 vintage copy of "Gullivers Travels" which arrived yesterday.

Another E-bay purchase, I was interested in a section identified by my blog Idols over at Powerline talking about the government schools of the time

Ironically, Swift's description of "The Grand Academy of Lagad" would serve as an accurate description of todays colleges and universities and even the behavior of the Obama Rama Dang Dang administration recently.

In this passage about "extracting sunbeams from cucumbers" I'm reminded of the sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, eco-friendly greenie weenie Liberals impossible desire for "green energy":

"The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same color. He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.

He told me, he did not doubt, that in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governors gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me to give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers."

Sixteen years wasted on a stupid concept?

At government expense and even official blessing?

I won't bore you with the entire text, but the book goes on to describe a half dozen equally dubious endeavors by "academics" in various pursuits, including another "professor" trying to take human feces and make it back into food by removing the stink and saliva.

By the way, I think I see some sunbeams in my cucumber patch so I've got to go now and try to get some trimwork done.

Y'all have a lovely day...if you will...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Forget Buying Stock

I'm Buying Slim Jim's...


My heart goes out to the victims of the accident yesterday in North Carolina, but at the same time I have to offer some personal predictions.

I'm personally saying that the explosion at the Con-Agra Garner, NC "Slim Jim" plant was a steam/waterhammer/BLEVE explosion.


This long press conference video confirmed my initial suspicions (don't waste your time watching this thing but I insist on documenting my references)

http://www.wral.com/news/video/5327452/

As an Engineer I've seen this type of event TWICE before PERSONALLY in the past four years, and my professional studies for several hours each day for the past couple of months involve the physics of this type event.

With no major fire and the extent of the percussion/concussion which blew out the roof panels and knocked down the precast concrete wall segments, the only thing that could possess this type of power (other than TNT or dynamite or plastic explosives or a fuel like natural gas which would have caused a big prolonged fire) is STEAM and the associated events relating to it's cooling or heating from/to operating pressure/temperature in an uncontrolled manner.

I also predict that my associate Wayne and I will be called in to work on this accident shortly.

I'm not an ambulance chaser but I really want to get my hands on this thing earlier rather than later after everything has been disturbed and evidence has been lost. Thus I spent the day lurking around the Internet reading news releases and watching video of news conferences.

Meanwhile, the door/deck project is slowly proceeding through inattention and interruption by thunderstorms and lethargy yesterday.

So sue me if you don't like my progress...

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Door to Nowhere In Place

Trim And Electrical To Follow Suit...


As the day ended I was too lazy to take photos with the door installed, but here's a look at the "hole in the wall" as it progressed...





And of course the job site foreman lends her approval from the Turbo Pup Pool...

New Hole In Wall Nears Completion

Opossums and Raccoons Stay Out...


Being the expert construction manager and project engineer that I am, I waited until after lunch yesterday to start sawing and banging on the bricks under the soon to be removed window on the back of the house.

The first task was to remove an old 220 V outlet which had apparently been used to power a window unit AC before central air was added in the 1970's, and I also had to relocate a 120 V receptacle originally under the window frame to a spot adjacent to the new door opening.

By about 4 PM I was sorry for my lethargy because I had also learned how hard my bricks where which were made way back in 1963.

I had expected to just beat out a couple forming a hole and then tipping the sawed section out onto a tarp on my new deck surface.

WRONG.

I had to beat the crap out of each and every single brick with a ten pound hand sledge hammer and when the dust settled I had a giant wheelbarrow full of "brick chips" and mortar crumbles to dispose of.

So any way, today I'm getting an earlier start and hope to have the old window out by lunch time and the new door stood up in it's place.

Of course there will be the obligatory trip to Home Depot and/or Lowe's but as long as I can compete the project with no significant bloodshed I'll consider it a success.

Wish me luck...if you will...

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Obama Versus Chamberlain Churchill

History Repeats Itself...


I haven't bothered to comment on President Obama's cowtowing, appeasing speech to and from the Muslim/Arab world last week because his Speech left me "Speechless."

After all the crap he's delivered in the name of "the American People" it really pissed me off to see him standing there in Normandy yesterday desecrating the memory of all the honorable men that were wounded or died there 65 years ago.

I guess the Jews have similar sentiments regarding his lies about his family ties to liberating the people held in German prison camps and his use of that poor old guy with the wild hair as a photo opportunity ...but in spite of the UN and the liberals I'll let the Hebrew's take care of themselves.

Any way...

What a maroon...

What an ultra-maroon we have for a President.

Back to my point this morning...I've become a bit of a Winston Churchill fan over the past twenty years because by accident (in other words...in SPITE of my public schooled government education) I've discovered what a HUGE influence he had over saving Europe from the German aggressions and how instrumental he was in forcing the isolationist liberal elites and politicians here in the United States to join the war effort in Europe.

Besides his well deserved place in world history, Churchill was an intellectual genius and a great artist, painter, and orator--one of my personal hero's today because I aspire to be all of those same things although I'm afraid I continue to fall quite short of his standards.

My blog idols--the guys over at Powerline-- reminded me of the words Winston Churchill wrote after Neville Chamberlain signed the Munich Agreement with Hitler's Germany in August 1938.

The funny thing to me was that while the agreement basically ceeded land to Germany from the Czech's, and representatives from most of Europe attended the "conference", the Czechs weren't invited and DIDN'T SIGN.

That's sort of where I feel like most "average Americans" are today as Obama runs around the world spewing bullshit.

I certainly didn't sign up to have his words uttered on my behalf.

Take a look at these parts of Churchill's comments in blue while I add my own modern insertions in red:

"Silent, mournful, abandoned, broken, Czechoslovakia Israel receded into darkness. She has suffered in every respect by her association with the Western democracies and the League of Nations United Nations."

"But they [the people] have no power," he said. "...there can never be friendship between the British democracy Americans and the Nazi power...the Radical Muslim Nations... which derives perverted pleasure from persecution...and uses with pitless brutality the threat of murderous force."

He ended his speech in the House of Commons by describing the Munich Agreement as "only the beginning of the reckoning. This is only the first sip, the first foretaste of a bitter cup which will be proffered to us year by year unless by a supreme recovery of moral health and martial vigour, we arise again and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time."

Where are men like Churchill when we need them today?


Saturday, June 06, 2009

James Gregory

Last Minute Entertainment...


You may be amazed to learn that Pat and I haven't been to a Theater to see a movie since we left Atlanta in 2003, and though we've spent a good deal of time in "Community Theaters" watching plays I was either acting in or designing/building the sets for we also haven't paid to see a concert since the Atlanta days either.

I think the last live national act we saw was Blue Oyster Cult at a street festival in West Virginia three or four years ago also.

Fast forward to last week when I heard on the radio that southern comedian James Gregory was at the comedy club about three miles from the house here on the banks of the Mighty Tennesse river.

I've heard him on the radio for years and saw him the first time at the Punch Line in Atlanta about 1996 and enjoyed his material, so after dinner and drinks last night I couldn't stand it any longer...we wandered by and got two of the last half dozen seats available for the 7 PM show and I laughed my ass off of near an hour.

Here's a look at his style:



Friday, June 05, 2009

REVELATION AND CONFESSIONS

Why I NEVER...

voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my boat.

voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I ever would.

voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.


"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."



(Thanks for the link Rodge over at http://curmudgeonlyskeptical.blogspot.com/)

"Homogeneous Versus Heterogeneous Nucleation In Steam Systems"

I've Just Learned It's Actually Not A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered Social Issue...


That's what I spent my day looking at...a Canadian Master's Degree Candidate's Thesis addressing the phenomena called a BLEVE (Boiling Liquid Expanding Vapor Explosion) and the underlying physics and phenomena details.

The visiting kids and their toddler wandered off to explore on their own and Pat and I and Missy the Turbo Pup are relaxing in silence and heading out for drinks and dinner.

Anyone know about the Rayleigh method of calculating the growth and collapse of bubbles in things like your beer and champaign and club soda...or in my case a gaint steam system that can explode and peal your skin off your arms and rupture your spleen and eyeballs?

I'm figuring it all out, and details to follow once I understand things.

Have a nice weekend...If you will...

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Pool Full...Air Compressor Dead

Leaf Blower Operator Escapes With Scalp and Skin...


Dang it...It's supposed to rain all day today again here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

As a result our idiot with the leaf blower lawn maintenance technician showed up a day early so I had to cover the partially filled pool and move all of my deck and fence building supplies and debris around out of his way.

I instructed him to stay two feet away from the pool with the weed eater and leave the carport untouched with the leaf blower.

For his own safety and welfare he dutifully complied.

I guess a shaggy headed, ever greying, ever balding middle aged man brandishing a 2x4 still has some clout in our society today.

With company in town, a lull in injuneering consulting deadlines, and the injured air compressor my productivity has been reduced to things you can do on the sofa and Google time spent in front of the computer.

I'm so lazy I don't even feel like bitching about President Obama Rama Ding Dang who according to news reports and White House briefings has suddenly discovered his Muslim heritage now a half year after the election was over with.

As I understand it he's currently on a tour through the Middle East shaking left handed and showing the Emirs and Princes and Kings the bottoms of his tan feet (you have to know something about insults in Arab countries to get that joke.)

Me personally, I'd still like to bubble wrap and crate up Obamarama and Reid and Pelosi and McCain and the fence sitting senators from Pennsylvania and South Carolina (and toss in Madd Jack Murtha's eyebrows just for fun) and ship the entire gaggle of lieing fools down to somewhere like Haiti or Cuba and let them "hoist" their bed wetting, sniveling, booger eating tree hugging socialist agenda on someone that could actually USE it and WANTs it and might actually DESERVE it.

(Obama says we can't "hoist" our Western values on the Muslim nations...but I digress...)

Any way, then they'd possibly leave me and my wallet alone because they'd finally be living somewhere where there actually is a "healthcare crisis" and a "wage gap."

I can hope and dream...can't I?

Time for a nap I guess...

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Air Compressor Still Limping

Pool Near Full


Oh...I don't know...where to start this morning?

Of course I couldn't just run over to Home Depot yesterday and buy a couple feet of hose and some hose clamps and come home 20 minutes later...things only come out that way something like 1 out of 100 trips and I'd already had my lucky single repair part purchasing trip sometime earlier in 2009.

This time the difficulty was because HD no longer has the hose selection they once carried and I needed small 1/4" diameter hose capable of handling 110 PSI of pressure.

Clear vinyl aquarium tubing wouldn't cut it, so on down the road to Lowe's we went.

They had exactly what I wanted--all $0.60 worth--and after rummaging around to find the hose clamps (two isles over) I was on my way with Pat and the Turbo Pup in tow.

Makes sense to me to sell tubing on one isle in plumbing and clamps in the garden or lumber department, doesn't it? Using the same logic I think WalMart should start selling boxer shorts in the shoe department and socks in automotive.

So any way, then the guy at the register fumbled around getting the price on the hose and in the process FAILED TO PUT IT IN THE BAG with the weed killer and other odds and ends we purchased and we didn't notice until we were back home and I started working.

So then we had to go BACK to Lowe's to retrieve my 60 cent hose.

Long story even longer...an hour and a half later my thirty minute shopping trip was complete and within another twenty minutes I had cut out the bad section of aluminum tubing and spliced in the new flexible section of tubing.

Both of the new clamped connections held for...OH...about 45 seconds before the one that is hardest to reach decided to blow apart.

Possessing the vast experience gained by opening the compressor housing earlier, the follow up repairs were completed again in less than five minutes with an extra bit of torque applied to all four hose clamps in the jury rigged temporary air passage.

I reassembled the housing and this time managed to blow up the entire top ring of the little cheep above ground pool before again having my air plumbing system suffer a rupture after about a minute and one half of operation.

The poor thing (the compressor) spent the night on the carport in it's feverish condition because I didn't have the patience to open it all back up again and by then it was near 90 degrees in the back yard and my face and head was melting in the sun.

I took the rest of the afternoon off and cooked a couple of my soon to be internationally famous pizzas for our guests and after the toddler and the Turbo Pup called a truce and sat down at the same coffee table everyone chowed down.

A few beers and a cigar later and I was done for the evening.

Today the Turbo Pup and I have the house to ourselves as Pat escorts the guests to that tourist hell known as Gatlinburg to do the Ripley's Aquarium and eat queer things like funnel cakes and buy trinkets you never knew you couldn't do without.

I'm going back to bed as soon as they leave...see y'all later...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Veni, Vidi, Vici Vamoose

Back From The Middle Of Nowhere


Ah yes...quaint yet rural Tennessee.

Ya gotta love it if you're from there or if you're retired and want to live on three acres in the mountains for the price of a half acre lot here in Knoxtown on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

Problem is that living in Wartburg and similar places (like where Mom lives in LA) causes you to have to drive 20 miles to find a Kroger or a Walmart, and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that unless the place is surrounded by water like our little Island on the Georgia Coast was.

On the construction front, my pancake air compressor crapped out on Sunday afternoon and I didn't diagnose the problem--a broken metal outlet tube--untill late yesterday.

I though I was going to be nailgunless until the parts arrived from Sears next Monday, but I've figured out how to do a short term fix with some more rubber tubing and a couple of hose clamps so it's off to Home Depot for parts and a million pounds of bagged play sand to put under and around the Turbo Pup's little 10'x30" above ground pool.

We had one of those last year with no structure and the inflatable ring around the top to keep the water in and I bought a new one on the internet for cheap to use this year with the old filter pump which we saved.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Meetings In The Morning

Construction In The Afternoon...


Anybody know where "Wartburg" is in Tennessee?

I'm going there this morning and I'll let you know once I find out.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Construction Completion?

Today's The Day...

Well, I'm happy to report that we've managed to make it though 24 continuous hours without a rain storm for the first time in nearly a week here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

I got four footings dug, concrete poured and elevations set yesterday along with a little more fencing installed, and today it looks like I can finish the oversize stairway and complete the fencing expansion...leaving only the most difficult part of the project on my Punch list.

That line item--taking out a window and cutting a large enough opening for a new exterior french door-- will have to wait until next weekend because we have family guests arriving on Monday for a week stay and I don't want to be doing sheetrock work and more importantly, making sheetrock dust with a toddler crawling around the place.

As usual I've managed to take a three or four day project and turn in into a multi-week epic saga/adventure but then again I'm working for FREE and it's my house and I don't see getting all lathered up in a hurry.

Rushing takes all the fun out of something I really do enjoy having the tools and skills to to on my own. I figure that I might as well do this kind of stuff while I still can because there's been periods of time in the past when I couldn't stand up long enough or have the strength and stamina to accomplish much of anything, and who knows what the future holds with my crappy legs and hypercoagulative blood.

That said, time to pour a giant insulated mug of Gatoraid and go make sawdust before it gets too hot outside...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

It's Not Rainin'!!!!

Deck Construction Resumes...


I swear that it's rained every four to six hours for the past FIVE days here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

While the situation has lended itself well to sitting around doing nothing (something I've personally perfected in an earlier life), the moisture has reeked havoc with the deck construction schedule which was moving along smoothly until last Sunday.

I was starting to think I needed to start constructing a BOAT rather than a deck... or at least start considering using my new deck for a DOCK and go buy a boat.

Any way...I have a half dozen small concrete footers to pour to support the over sized step frameworks and even though the holes are only six inches deep I've been unable to get a reliable slice of weather to allow me to mix and place the high strength concrete and brick pavers needed for that part of the project.

It hasn't rained since midnight and now things have dried off enough for me to get out there and break a sweat diggin holes, and of course there are fence pickets to be installed also.

See y'all later...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Dumbass With The Leaf Blower Lawn Maintenance Technician Stopped By Between Rain Storms

Disaster Somehow Averted...


NEWS FLASH:

Pat managed to incredibly keep the dude brandishing the leaf blower out of the carport this afternoon before I had to kill him with a piece of scrap deck lumber.

Now I can get back to my CAD drawings in peace.

Life is Good.

Let The Hysteria Begin

Sniveling Global Warming Weenies Rejoice


Well weather fans...just like last season (and many seasons in the past 100 years) the first tropical depression has formed in May rather than waiting until June 1st--the "Official" start of what has become known as "Hurricane Season."

Here's a look at the projected path, otherwise known here on the blog as "The Cone Of Death":



Ever since we launched a couple of TRIOS weather satellites into orbit back in the early 1960's we humans have become more and more pompous in our self regard for our ability to predict everything from hurricanes to hemorrhoids.

And the media and the ignorant masses that watch TV and read the paper today somehow have become convinced that with a few exceptions prior to 1960 (excluding the the well documented great storms in the Florida Keys and Galveston, Texas) that hurricanes didn't really occur that often and further...

that hurricanes today have been collaborating with the KKK and Carl Rove and George Bush and become racist evil forces deployed against poor people of color living on the Gulf and Atlantic coasts on an annual basis.

Like SUV's, these killer storms actually have a mind and will of their own and target areas where the innocent and the stupid reside without insurance and any means to transport themselves away from the water and out of the wind with anything less than three days notice.

So with this first storm on the map, I encourage you to sit back and relax and watch the media and the "government officials" pull out their same old tired cliches and warnings and advise and smear it all over the front pages of the newspapers and TV news programs...and of course we'll have a nice rehashing of stories about the Hurricane Katrina victims still living in Government trailers nearly 4 years later.

And of course my ever greying, ever balding head will rotate at orbital velocity and attempt to explode a half dozen times over the next 5 months.

And a GOOD time will be had by ALL, in spite of the threat posed by NATURE...

NOT GLOBAL WARMING.

Dammit

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"Principals Put To Paper More Than Twenty Centuries Ago..."

Obamarama Continues To Prove He's A "Highly Edumacated Idiot"


So I'm sitting here this morning working on the final deck step drawings when President Obama's press conference started on FOX News.

I've forgotten the entire sentence (and I'll look it up later) but in his intro to the "blaa blaa blaa intro portion" talking about the daunting tasks presidents have in appointing Judges to the Supreme Court he uttered the words "[interpreting] Principals put to paper more than TWENTY CENTURIES ago..."

I think he meant to say Twenty DECADES, but based on his "57 state" campaign and other demonstrable lack of knowledge of facts...things like Memorial day is different from Veterans Day, I guess the lamestream media will give him a pass on this gaff too.

(PS. note the time on this posting and recognise that I can get ahead of the media with my reporting also once in a while...YOU HEARD THIS HERE FIRST.)

(PSS. Don't even get me started about the concept of the effect on our laws a Latino Liberal Woman with ten years of experience on the bench will have on the Supreme Court of the United By-God States of 'Merica...)


MORE... (11:27 AM)

Here's the text as published here: http://www.cqpolitics.com/wmspage.cfm?parm1=5&docID=news-000003125441

OBAMA: Thank you. Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you. Thank you.

Please, everybody, have a seat.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, I’m excited too.

(LAUGHTER)

Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.

So I don’t take this decision lightly. I’ve made it only after deep reflection and careful deliberation.

The Islamic Rage Boy Show

This Is Hilarious






Go over to the creators page... The Nose On Your Face and vote for your favorite video.



(And a hearty hat tip to Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the link.)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Progress

Construction & Cooking Moving Along...


Per fan/friend requests (that would be you Roy) and prior threats by your lovely and talented blogger, here's a look at the goings on here the past five days at the Turbo Pup Compound:

This first image is near the end of day one with all the fence post, support column, and plant holes done and one of two primary support beams ready to be lifted into place and lag bolted in...



Here's things at the end of day two with all the structural framing in place and squared up nice and plumb...



Saturday ended with the decking in place...


...and this one aggravating board sitting there about 2-1/2" too short:



I built all of the giant step frames and re-hung most of the fence panels before the rain set in last evening (including climbing on the roof to clean my gutters with my new extension ladder) but there are no photo's available of those antics.

Finally, here's my Butt seven pound Boston Butt after it has been seared on the outside and rubbed all over with my soon to be famous "Butt Rub" ready to go into the oven for about four hours at 250 degrees F...



Stop by with your fork about 5 PM if you will...

Rubbing My (Boston) Butt On The Holiday

Bar-B-Que In Celebration & In Memory...


Thus far I've failed to mention Memorial Day in any fashion than describing my deck construction efforts and my cooking for the day.

I guess it's only fitting that there is a day separate from Veterans' Day to recognize the members of our armed forces that served our country to protect our freedom and interests in military conflict and never made it back home alive.

A number of members of my own family have served in the military since the Civil War, but very few if any have been killed in combat.

Looking back starting in recent history, my cousins in mother's and father's family were mostly girls, and the boys including myself were too young to serve in Vietnam so we avoided any losses there.

My cousin Jim subsequently joined the Marine corps after Vietnam and became a helicopter pilot, serving tours of duty in Grenada, Lebanon, and some time during the first Persian Gulf war, and today is a successful lawyer and a Brigadier General in the Marine Corps Reserve.

One of my girl cousins on Mom's side has a genius husband who never did font line service but was a fighter pilot, the Flight Surgeon of the Air force in Washington DC, and today is also a General and is soon to retire as a successful Neuro Surgeon with the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL. ( I feel like a total dumbass sitting beside that guy...)

My cousin Jeff was an Army tank driver for a while with NATO forces in Germany back in the 1980's but never saw combat. Like me he probably has some interesting R&R stories to tell braving life and limb in watering holes in a foreign country.

Mom's family was also fortunate to send two of her brothers to Europe during WWII and have both of them avoid death or substantial injury during their long terms of duty.

My Uncle John was a tail and belly gunner on B-25 Mitchel low level bombers and HIS ENTIRE CREW managed to fly a couple of dozen missions without losing anything but airplanes. They all came home alive and several including Uncle John survive to this day.

Mom's father served in WWI in France including in the Argon Forrest as an Army infantryman and lost most of his hearing due to the damage done listening to Artillery fire while laying in a trench full of mud.

He came home to live another 63 years as the head of our 360 acre farm in southern Alabama.

His father--my Great Grandfather--served a number of years with the Confederate Forces' Army of the Mississippi and was severely wounded in the Battle of Perryville, Kentucky in October 1862.

His injuries caused his arm to be amputated and he was discharged from the hospital and the Army at the same time--having to resort to WALK HOME to the farm in Elba, Alabama at his own expense. (Imagine the liberal howls and the media hysteria today if the US military just turned you loose after cutting off your arm and deciding that you were no longer useful as a soldier?)

Family lore has it that no one in the family even recognized him in his ragged emaciated condition when he arrived home, but still he survived and ultimately recovered fully and lived a long life as a farmer...working a plow mule team with ONE ARM with the reigns wrapped around his neck or torso.

On Dad's side of the family tree things are a little more fuzzy beyond a couple of three generations to me because I grew up so far away from the coal fields of Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia.

I think we might have lost a few great uncles and great great uncles in all three of the wars but the names and details escape me even today.

I'm pretty sure my Great Grandfather Rogers didn't fight in the Civil War, and my Grandfather, my namesake Virgil Sr., was too young to fight in WWI. He was also given a deference for military service in WWII and the Korean War because of the importance of coal mining to the military effort and industrial production.

My Father was in ROTC in college and did four years in the Army going to flight school between the Korean War and Vietnam. Later he served as a civilian test pilot during Vietnam, thereby avoiding the bullets and land mines in the Asian rice patties but still risking his life and limb on every flight while proving concepts for secret airborne weaponry imaging systems and reconnaissance gathering devices which saved thousands if not tens of thousands of lives in the battlefield.

Both of my uncles on Dad's side of the family did time in the Army during Vietnam but their MOS's allowed them to stay stateside rather than deploying to where the fighting was.

And ME???

My lazy disrespectful butt volunteered and did two years of Navy reserve time back in the late 1970's after the hostilities had ended in Vietnam.

I risked life and limb on a frequent basis in saloons near the NAS in Pensacola, representing our ROTC unit in New Orleans at Mardi Gras, and for a short while on a Helicopter Carrier in the Philippines.

I don't know it was luck or the hand of God or what, but today I celebrate our military success and my family members' ability to survive and return home after their service. But just because our own family has been so lucky doesn't mean that I don't respect those who died and the family members who gather today to remember their loved ones.

Growing up during the Vietnam war in a town outside the gates of the Army's helicopter pilot training center at Ft. Rucker, Alabama caused me to know several dozen kids around me in school that lost fathers and/or brothers in the war effort.

My dad knew even more people personally who died in copter and plane crashes both overseas and on the test ranges at Ft. Rucker. I remember seeing a couple of young pilots at a 4th of July picnic at Ft. Rucker and hearing that they were dead within the very next month.

Things like that sort of stick with you when you can put a face with a name and a wife and a Kid's image with the news story...

...and it pisses me off when the warped religious fanatics and the sniveling booger eating anti-war pacifists bring their protests to funerals and military bases on holidays like today.

I wouldn't change places with anyone that's served in combat, but I damn sure appreciate every one of their efforts--live and dead--and hope that today's ceremonies give their families and friends some comfort and recognition for their sacrifice.

Now it's time to go check on my Butt (photos to follow...)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Obamanomics

Memorial Weekend Musings...


Well folks, the end of day three of the Turbo Pup Deck Construction Mobilization (TPDCM for short) finds us one board short of having a complete decking surface.

I know that it sounds singularly unspectacular to have taken an ENTIRE DAY to install less than 120 square feet of finished lumber, but as a matter of explanation let me defend my extended time expenditure on Memorial Weekend Saturday.

You see, in my infinite wisdom I decided to design my deck with a diagonal "herringbone" pattern rather than just screwing everything down nice and square and being done with it.

To make things even more complicated, I'm not building a simple square or rectangular deck to begin with. It has an 8' deep section connected to 10' deep and 12' deep sections by 45 degree angled transitions.

Thus the only "square" i.e. right angled cuts I made ended up being on these two short 45 degree runs...EVERYTHING else had to be individually hand fitted in position and then cut in place in one long run sliding the circular saw along a carefully placed piece of straight guide lumber.

And the "one board short"???

It was the one board which my AutoCAD drawings missed when predicting that I needed a 12' long piece of 2x4 rather than a 10' long section.

What is really sad is the board I have is only about 2-1/2" too short, but I'll have to either return it or use it later.

Speaking of 2x4's, did I mention that my "herringbone" pattern included alternating 2x4's and 2x6's rather than just plain old 5/4" "deck boards"? The alternating board arrangement on a 45 degree angle adds what I think is a nice visual pattern to my masterpiece.

So any way, after the Weather Nerds fooled me by predicting nice weather for a four or five day period, now this stupid low pressure system--actually a weak early season tropical depression--is coming to Knoxtown out of the Gulf of Mexico and it's supposed to rain most of the day today and possibly much of tomorrow so the stairway construction effort is now imperiled.

Looking at the local radar on the Internet I hope to sneak out early this morning and get two or three hours worth of sawing and nailing and screwing around done before the rain sets in. Time will tell...

In the cooking while multi-tasking department, I've got three racks of baby back Pork ribs and a 6 pound Boston Butt to finish thawing and get into giant pots of brine to sit overnight in anticipation of slow cooking all day Monday and serving to a half dozen hungry guests with my soon to be famous home made Kansas City style bar-b-que sauce.

Pat's tossing up a couple of different Cold Slaws and the Neighbors are bringing potato salad and the carport has a roof on it so I don't care if it's rain or shine...

I'm COOKING OUT on Monday.

Feel free to stop on by about 5 PM for some ribs and a pulled pork sandwich...

(Oh...and regarding my Obamanomics title this morning...

I almost forgot to mention this Letter to The Editor from a Dodge Dealer.)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Framework Installed...Concrete Poured

Arms And Back Starting To Feel Their Age...


About 3:30 PM yesterday we drug all the tools out of the yard and into the carport and wound up the extension cords and air compressor hoses, content with the knowledge that I was pretty much on schedule and the lumber quantities I ordered thus far had worked out exactly as planned.

The local lumber yard where my Neighbor Danny works delivered the #1 Kiln Dried Pressure Treated decking lumber right after lunch, so just as my pile of unused Home Depot boards were dwindling down to about a dozen, another pile of BEAUTIFUL lumber appeared for my use later this Saturday morning while installing the Deck and step surfaces.

For reference, #1 Kiln Dried Pressure Treated is the best darn natural wood product you can use for Deck construction here in the Southern US, and I felt like spending the extra 15% or 20% was worth the investment.

I know they have other options like Cedar and Redwood and of course the new man made composites like "TREX" but for a house in our price range in our neighborhood with the possibility of selling in the next 12 months I couldn't see spending three or four times as much on deck boards when Danny offered us a deal on the fancy Southern Yellow Pine.

Having the basic structural framework in place just makes me wish we could afford to build the entire deck in one mobilization because so much of the area is taken up with the oversized 5' x 15" exit step out of the house and the three similar sized steps down to the yard.

The good news is that there is still room for two lounge chairs or a table and four chairs for dining and most importantly...Missy the Turbo Pup will finally be able to let herself in and out of the house through her new pet door to sun herself and do her "business" without one of us having to escort her on her leash.

Truth be told, the real estate improvement angle almost takes a back seat to the ability to let our little Turbo Pup gain access to the yard so she can be a Hound Dog instead of just a glorified House Dog.

I guess now it's time to do some as built CAD drawing modifications, spread on some more Bengay Ointment, and catch a few more hours sleep before making more sawdust.

Wish us luck...if you will...

Friday, May 22, 2009

I've Had It Up To Here...

Pointing To The Top Of My Ever Greying, Ever Balding Head...


Forget Rasmussen and Gallup and all of the other formal Political "Opinion" polls...

I'm taking my own poll this morning, and I want to know how many people out there that watch TV after 3:30 AM or 4:00 AM would rather see something like this on their screen:



rather than the idiots hawking the "Male enhancements" and the "AB rockets" and the "Real Estate Whatevers" and the "Cash flow" ads.

Back in the day we said that there was nothing on after midnight.

Today, even with cable, I say that there's still basically nothing "on" between 3 AM and 6 AM in spite of paying 50 bucks a month for the service.